The BEST episodes of Family Guy season 5

Every episode of Family Guy season 5, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Family Guy season 5!

Sick, twisted, politically incorrect and Freakin' Sweet animated series featuring the adventures of the dysfunctional Griffin family. Bumbling Peter and long-suffering Lois have three kids. Stewie (a brilliant but sadistic baby bent on killing his mother and taking over the world), Meg (the oldest, and is the most unpopular girl in town) and Chris (the middle kid, he's not very bright but has a passion for movies). The final member of the family is Brian - a talking dog and much more than a pet, he keeps Stewie in check whilst sipping Martinis and sorting through his own life issues.

Last Updated: 11/2/2024Network: FOXStatus: Continuing
Share:
Meet the Quagmires
star
8.10
2174 votes

#1 - Meet the Quagmires

Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 5/20/2007

Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He ends up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is anything but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have also taken on Quagmire's charming characteristics.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Airport '07
star
7.52
1802 votes

#2 - Airport '07

Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/4/2007

Quagmire takes Peter to work but Peter messes things up, causing Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot. After not being able find another job, Peter and Cleveland make plans to help him get his old job back. When the plan fails, Quagmire receives advice from his idol, Hugh Hefner.

Directors: John Holmquist
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Chick Cancer
star
7.48
2023 votes

#3 - Chick Cancer

Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/26/2006

Stewie ties the knot with his old flame Olivia, but their relationship quickly turns, and becomes normal dull marriage. It all escalates when they go on a double date with Brian and Jillian. Meanwhile, Lois introduces Peter to chick flicks, so he decides to make his own movie with a plot based on every chick movie ever.

Directors: Pete Michels
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Stewie Loves Lois
star
7.47
2533 votes

#4 - Stewie Loves Lois

Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/10/2006

Stewie becomes obsessed with Lois, after she saves Rupert. Though Lois doesn't take to the new Stewie all too well. Meanwhile, Peter thinks his doctor is molesting him, when he undergoes a prostate exam.

Directors: Mike Kim
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Tan Aquatic With Steve Zissou
star
7.45
1970 votes

#5 - The Tan Aquatic With Steve Zissou

Season 5 - Episode 11 - Aired 2/18/2007

When a bully harasses Chris, Peter goes to his defense, but ends up beating him up. Peter realizes bullying is fun and begins to bully everyone in the house. Finally, Chris stands up to Peter and beats him senseless. Meanwhile, Stewie goes out without sunscreen and becomes obsessed with getting a tan. After Brian leaves him in the tanning booth for six hours, Stewie gets sunburned and fears he has cancer. While waiting for the results of his cancer screening, Stewie begins to live his life as if he had only days to live and drives Brian crazy with his demands.

Directors: Julius Wu
Watch Now:Apple TV
Barely Legal
star
7.45
1714 votes

#6 - Barely Legal

Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 12/17/2006

Meg can't find a date to her junior prom, and even though he is dating Jillian, Brian ends up going with Meg. At the prom, Brian gets drunk to make the night pass, but ends up making out with Meg. Meg begins to think of Brian as her boyfriend and becomes obsessed with spending every moment with him. Meanwhile, Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire join the police force to help Brian.

Directors: Zac Moncrief
Watch Now:Apple TV
Road to Rupert
star
7.45
1848 votes

#7 - Road to Rupert

Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 1/28/2007

Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale. Stewie, who is upset with Brian, takes him cross country to Colorado to find his beloved teddy, and ends up having a ski-off to win back Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.

Directors: Dan Povenmire
Watch Now:Apple TV
It Takes a Village Idiot... and I Married One
star
7.44
1618 votes

#8 - It Takes a Village Idiot... and I Married One

Season 5 - Episode 17 - Aired 5/13/2007

Lois runs for mayor of Quahog, though she doesn't become the front-runner until she dumbs down her political views. Once in office, she becomes corrupted with the power that she now holds, and begins accepting bribes so that she can buy herself expensive things. Meanwhile, Peter comes to enjoy being the "first lady" of Quahog, and all of the perks that go along with it.

Directors: Zac Moncrief
Watch Now:Apple TV
Prick Up Your Ears
star
7.43
2127 votes

#9 - Prick Up Your Ears

Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/19/2006

Lois discovers that Chris has some bad information about sex and she volunteers to teach a sex-ed class at the high school. Some parents become upset with her brutal honesty, and they have her replaced. A conservative christian comes to Quahog and gets rid of the condoms at James Woods High. As a result the kids find an interesting loophole. Meanwhile Stewie, terrified of the Tooth Fairy, decides to set traps to destroy him.

Directors: James Purdum
Watch Now:Apple TV
No Chris Left Behind
star
7.41
1725 votes

#10 - No Chris Left Behind

Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 5/6/2007

After Chris is expelled from school, he is sent to a boarding school that his grandfather Carter attended, but Chris doesn't exactly fit in. Meanwhile, the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter.

Directors: Pete Michels
Watch Now:Apple TV
Hell Comes to Quahog
star
7.38
2317 votes

#11 - Hell Comes to Quahog

Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 9/24/2006

After Peter uses Meg's money to buy himself a tank, she gets a job at the new Superstore in town. However, the Superstore puts all the shops in town out of business and sucks up the city's power supply. Brian and Stewie team up to save the town from the corporate giant.

Directors: Dan Povenmire
Watch Now:Apple TV
Peter's Two Dads
star
7.37
1838 votes

#12 - Peter's Two Dads

Season 5 - Episode 10 - Aired 2/11/2007

After Peters dad, Francis, dies, Thelma tells him that his real father actually lives in Ireland. So Peter and Brian decide to head there in search of his father, who ends up being the town drunk. They decide to play a drinking game to prove his paternity. Meanwhile, Stewie acts out and Lois spanks him. Realizing that he likes being spanked, Stewie does whatever he can to get into trouble.

Directors: Cyndi Tang
Watch Now:Apple TV
Saving Private Brian
star
7.36
2105 votes

#13 - Saving Private Brian

Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/5/2006

Chris is approached to join the military. Brian goes to the recruiting headquarters to voice his opinion, when Stewie signs himself and Brian up for the military. They pass Boot Camp and are shipped to Iraq, where they try to get honorably discharged by doing anything they can. Meanwhile, Chris decides to join a goth band.

Directors: Cyndi Tang
Watch Now:Apple TV
No Meals On Wheels
star
7.35
1705 votes

#14 - No Meals On Wheels

Season 5 - Episode 14 - Aired 3/25/2007

The Griffin family decides to start their own restaurant, though have a hard time attracting customers. After Joe promises to help, Peter is excited at the fact of it becoming a local hangout for the police. However, things don't really turn out as hoped, and instead it begins to be popular with the handicapped. When Peter attempts to change the place, a sudden twist of irony quickly changes his mind.

Directors: Greg Colton
Writer: Mike Henry
Watch Now:Apple TV
Boys Do Cry
star
7.34
1506 votes

#15 - Boys Do Cry

Season 5 - Episode 15 - Aired 4/29/2007

Lois gets a job as the church organist, so the family decides to begin going back to church. When Stewie gets sick after receiving communion, the congregation becomes convinced that he has been possessed by the devil. While on the run, the family ends up in Texas, where Peter begins to fit right in with the cowboys, Stewie enters the "Little Miss Texas" pageant, and Chris and Meg sneak into George W. Bush's house.

Writer: Brian Iles
Watch Now:Apple TV
Whistle While Your Wife Works
star
7.31
2149 votes

#16 - Whistle While Your Wife Works

Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 11/12/2006

When Peter gets hurt and can't work, his boss tells him he needs to speed things up. So Lois goes to the brewery to help him out. Meanwhile, Stewie finds out that Brian is dating a very attractive but not very intelligent woman. He tries to get Brian to break up with her, but Brian can't do it.

Directors: Greg Colton
Watch Now:Apple TV
Mother Tucker
star
7.18
2064 votes

#17 - Mother Tucker

Season 5 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/17/2006

Peter's mom gets a divorce. Peter feels abandoned until he sees a father figure in his mom's new boyfriend, Tom Tucker. Meanwhile, Brian gets his own NPR style show on the radio.

Directors: James Purdum
Writer: Tom Devanney
Watch Now:Apple TV
Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey
star
7.07
1582 votes

#18 - Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey

Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired 3/11/2007

Peter helps Bill Clinton with his flat tire, and they soon become friends. They begin spending a lot of time together and Lois begins to believe that Bill inflicting bad influence on Peter. But when she confronts Bill, they end up having sex. Peter, upset that his wife would do this, tries to get back at Lois by having an affair of his own, but soon realizes that he loves her too much to do so. Meanwhile, Lois and Stewie try to potty-train Brian.

Directors: Dominic Polcino
Watch Now:Apple TV