After Stan is prosecuted for sending contaminated cattle to a slaughterhouse, he says that it began as a quest to make a man out of Steve. Meanwhile, Roger sparks a cat fight between Francine and Hayley, for reasons of his own.
Watch Now:AmazonWhen Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "Surfin' Bird," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, and he runs into a familiar face and ends up hanging out with Jesus Christ.
Watch Now:AmazonWhen Stan enters an essay contest to have his personal hero, President Bush, come over for dinner, he is overcome with joy when the President arrives at his doorstep. However, not everyone in the Smith family shares Stan's excitement. Hayley tries to drill President Bush on the Iraq war, and Steve and Roger attempt to convince him that they've found Osama Bin Laden, but instead get him drunk. Stan tries to save the President from public humiliation, while Hayley revels in his fall from glory.
Watch Now:AmazonThe Griffins move to a farm, where Peter starts a drug business.
Watch Now:AmazonPeter destroys the family's passports while they're in Italy, forcing them to deal with immigration laws.
Watch Now:AmazonTo help get Brian's life in order, Stewie and Brian swap bodies using a machine that Stewie invents, but chaos quickly ensues around Quahog when the machine goes haywire.
Watch Now:AmazonStewie becomes obsessed with Lois, after she saves Rupert. Though Lois doesn't take to the new Stewie all too well. Meanwhile, Peter thinks his doctor is molesting him, when he undergoes a prostate exam.
After the local airline pilots go on strike, Quagmire looks for new work and becomes a gigolo. When his clients begin to avoid paying for his services, he asks Peter for help getting his money. Meanwhile, Brian is kicked off Peter’s health insurance, so he gets a job at a hardware store, until Stewie gets him fired and things get medical.
When Peter makes it through a bad flu season without getting sick, the hospital asks him to volunteer as a nurse, but he finds himself at a crossroads when his mortal enemy, The Giant Chicken, is admitted to the ER. Meanwhile, Brian receives his genetic test results and learns he is part cat, causing him to have an identity crisis.
Stewie doesn’t like Brian’s stand-up comedy jokes, so the two of them fight. To get back at Brian and make him jealous, Stewie builds a robot friend. But when the robot outsmarts Stewie and dumps him, Brian and Stewie reunite. Meanwhile, Lois forces Peter to get a new mattress.
When the CIA organizes a father-son baseball game, Stan is determined to show his co-workers that his son is masculine and athletic. Unfortunately, Steve is a geek, so Stan decides to lie and ditches him. But after getting a taste of his own treatment at work, Stan turns to Steve and his sci-fi knowledge to help capture a cyber-terrorist. Meanwhile, Roger goes incognito in a desperate attempt to interact with humans.
After Chris gets a special one-dollar bill for his birthday and quickly loses it, the dollar gets passed from character to character throughout Quahog.
Carter buys the Pawtucket Patriot brewery and decides to cut some corners to save a few bucks. Peter overhears the plan and runs and tells investigative journalist Tricia Takanawa about Carter's plan to use toxic chemicals in the beer cans. Meanwhile, Brian's drivers' license has expired and he enlists Stewie as an instructor.
Joe's dream of becoming a published author nears fruition when Peter decides to help him, but a happy ending doesn't appear possible when Peter begins monopolizing the writing duties. Meanwhile, Brian experiences his first runner's high, which turns him into an exercise beast in an attempt to re-create that euphoric feeling.
Steve becomes a famous author, and the entire family gets caught up in his celebrity, including Stan, who becomes an unbearable "stage parent." After Steve hooks up with an agent, he abandons his family to lead a "Cribs" lifestyle.
On Thanksgiving weekend, Peter discovers an alternate ending in the Russian version of one of his favorite films and writes to Vladimir Putin, who comes to Quahog. Meanwhile, a strapped-for-cash Brian gets a job at a suicide hotline center and attempts to strike up a romance with a co-worker.
Quagmire meets an avid dog lover, and pretends Brian is his dog in an attempt to win her over. Meanwhile, Chris helps Stewie track down the culprit who stole his Halloween candy.
After a mishap at work, Peter decides to take his health more seriously and diet with the help of Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. When Lois takes a stab at writing a romantic fantasy novel, a curious Brian and Stewie investigate to find out who she might have a crush.
Peter overloads his phone with apps. He buys a new phone with more memory, gives his old phone to Chris, and hilarity ensues. Stewie joins a tennis club and invites Brian to be his tennis partner.
In Part One of a special two-part story, Brian meets and quickly falls in love with a woman named Jess, who reveals she has cancer. After she receives devastating news regarding her diagnosis, Brian proposes marriage to her.
When Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games, he begins to question everything he has ever won. Meanwhile, Peter causes a fight between Lois' parents and must repair the damage he caused.
Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.
Brian bonds with the son of his new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland take a joy ride in Joe's new classic corvette.
Chris becomes the heir to Carter's fortune but refuses to accept the money; Peter desperately tries to keep the wealth in the family.
The guys' physical prowess is tested at Mayor West's dude ranch. Stewie thinks he's gotten his first period.
When Mayor West's nativity scene is ruined, Brian is seen as the prime suspect.
Meg gets a new job at the airport, where she's instantly popular for being the hottest employee there. Meanwhile, Cleveland becomes a therapist and starts giving Peter and Lois relationship advice, but Peter quickly becomes frustrated and threatens to tell Donna a big secret about what went down at Cleveland's bachelor party.