The BEST Episodes of Dick Figures
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Aug 24, 2021
Two dysfunctional, satrical twin friends, Red & Blue both go on exciting adventures which involves mostly sex appeal.
#1 - Terminate-Her
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 20, 2011
Watch this episode if you want to live! At a Halloween party, Red dresses up as a T-800, while Blue meets a girl who wants to 69.
#2 - Kung Fu Winners
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired Jan 26, 2012
When ninja a-holes steal Blue's girlfriend, Red's called in to defuse the situation -- WITH MOTHERF***ING JUMP KICKS.
#3 - First Day of Cool
Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired May 31, 2012
Witness the birth of Red and Blue's friendship, and the death of everyone else.
#4 - Modern Flame War 3
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired Nov 3, 2011
After an internet outage, Red and Blue team up again with TROLLz0r to unload their weapons while searching for the perfect pair of bazookas.
#5 - Pussy Magnet
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired Apr 19, 2012
To help Blue lubricate his limp game, Red shares his three-step plan for getting fore-play started again.
#6 - We're Cops!
Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired Aug 11, 2011
After taking Blue on a joy ride, Red tells the Five-0 to lick his donuts and suck his penal code.
#7 - Zombies & Shotguns
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired Apr 21, 2011
During a visit to the local MaulMart, Red struggles to crack open some finger food, while Zombies go after much larger body parts.
#8 - Freshman 15
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired Jun 28, 2012
Red attempts the impossible "Freshman 15" challenge of boning 15 freshman chicks in one night. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
#9 - Kitty Amazing
Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired Feb 24, 2011
Red and Blue are witness to the horrors of 'Apocalypse Meow.'
#10 - OMG
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired Jan 27, 2011
Red and Blue will plant this episode in your subconscious and then cover it in their own fertilizer.
#11 - The Fart Knight Rises
Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired Jul 12, 2012
Batman and the Bloser are hired to protect the Olympics... right at Tea Time. Cheery-uh-oh. Featuring a cameo by Thomas "TomSka" Ridgewell as the villainous sidekick "Mash"!
#12 - Role Playas
Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired Mar 10, 2011
Cerulean (aka Blue) hopes to gain +4 charisma points by saving Pinkcess from the Evil King Richard Figures the Long Shaft.
#13 - Trouble Date
Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired Feb 10, 2011
Blue and Pink's romantic meal is ruined when Red gets his salad tossed. Sacré Blue!
#14 - Adventures of Batman & The Bloser
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired Sep 22, 2011
Red and Blue (as Batman and Bloser) must stop Earl Grey from teabagging the world and turning it into black and white (just like his native country), despite Blue saying that the world is already grey.
#15 - Steakosaurus
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Jan 13, 2011
Red and Blue decide to feed themselves the old-fashioned way - hunting, killing and time-traveling.
#16 - Taco Tuesday
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired May 3, 2012
After being caught trying to dine and dash at an Italian restaurant, Red and Blue are-a forced-a to-a deliver-a pizza-a to some hungry drunk bitches. Molto Bene!
#17 - Flame War
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Dec 16, 2010
Red and Blue turn a simple video game shopping spree into a black-ops killing spree.
#18 - Fang Angels
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired Jun 16, 2011
Blue is placed under house arrest by the Fang Angels, while Red plots a heroic escape.
#19 - Attack of the Pwns
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired Mar 24, 2011
Space... the season finale frontier... where the forces of evil (Blue) battle the forces of evil-er (Red) for dominion over the galaxy or a frozen burrito or whatever.
#20 - Y U So Meme?
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Jul 14, 2011
Aww Yea! Full of rage, Red tracks down TROLLz0r, a Flame War gamer who is forever kicking his ass.
#21 - Brain Switch
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired Dec 29, 2011
The only thing worse than Red's brain in Red's body is Red's brain in Blue's body. Well, for Blue at least. When the pair accidentally swaps brains shit gets crazy as they try to take over the other's life... poorly.
#22 - Sex Marks the Spot
Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired Jul 28, 2011
Red pulls a map from the magical Porcelain Throne, as he and Blue become the Raiders of the Lost Fart.
#23 - Butt Genie
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired May 19, 2011
Red and Blue's hamster Flufferz passes away, but not before passing a magical teapot out his poop hole.
#24 - Pleasure Cruise
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired Jan 12, 2012
Cruisin' and boozin' on the open ocean, Red and Blue must act fast before someone drops a bomb on the poop deck.
#25 - Panda Hat
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Dec 2, 2010
Red got bar in a drunk and made a birthday party by him own self! Whooooooooooo!