The BEST Episodes of Dick Figures
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Dec 3, 2019
Two dysfunctional, satrical twin friends, Red & Blue both go on exciting adventures which involves mostly sex appeal.
#1 - Modern Flame War 3
Season 3 - Episode 4
After an internet outage, Red and Blue team up again with TROLLz0r to unload their weapons while searching for the perfect pair of bazookas.
#2 - Terminate-Her
Season 3 - Episode 3
Watch this episode if you want to live! At a Halloween party, Red dresses up as a T-800, while Blue meets a girl who wants to 69.
#3 - Role Playas
Season 1 - Episode 9
Cerulean (aka Blue) hopes to gain +4 charisma points by saving Pinkcess from the Evil King Richard Figures the Long Shaft.
#4 - Trouble Date
Season 1 - Episode 7
Blue and Pink's romantic meal is ruined when Red gets his salad tossed. Sacré Blue!
#5 - Adventures of Batman & The Bloser
Season 3 - Episode 1
Red and Blue (as Batman and Bloser) must stop Earl Grey from teabagging the world and turning it into black and white (just like his native country), despite Blue saying that the world is already grey.
#6 - Captain Red Rum & The Pina Colada Armada
Season 2 - Episode 6
Red and Blue make dat ass kraken in a high seas showdown with Pink's bountiful treasures.
#7 - A Bee or Something
Season 1 - Episode 1
Blue got dumped. He's having a bad day. Red's voice becomes auto-tuned. Now Blue is having a worse day.
#8 - Flame War
Season 1 - Episode 3
Red and Blue turn a simple video game shopping spree into a black-ops killing spree.
#9 - Traffic Jams
Season 1 - Episode 4
Red slowly drives Blue insane in the fast lane to nowhere.
#10 - Steakosaurus
Season 1 - Episode 5
Red and Blue decide to feed themselves the old-fashioned way - hunting, killing and time-traveling.
#11 - Fang Angels
Season 2 - Episode 5
Blue is placed under house arrest by the Fang Angels, while Red plots a heroic escape.
#12 - We're Cops!
Season 2 - Episode 9
After taking Blue on a joy ride, Red tells the Five-0 to lick his donuts and suck his penal code.
#13 - Real Dudes Bros Night Man
Season 3 - Episode 2
On poker night, Red, Blue and the gang all prove that manliness isn't measured in inches, but in epic tales of man-might and cocksmanship.
#14 - Planet Asshole
Season 3 - Episode 5
After Red burns his black hole with a scorching burrito, he and Blue offer hungry aliens painful advice on pregnancy, relaxation and face washing.
#15 - Chug-A-Chug-A-Brew-Brew
Season 3 - Episode 7
Holy smokes! It's a rip-roarin' Red Drunk Redemption! After a tipsy night of guzzling the devil's water, Red railroads Blue into a High Plains, bare-knuckle booze brawl.
#16 - Pussy Magnet
Season 4 - Episode 2
To help Blue lubricate his limp game, Red shares his three-step plan for getting fore-play started again.
#17 - Taco Tuesday
Season 4 - Episode 3
After being caught trying to dine and dash at an Italian restaurant, Red and Blue are-a forced-a to-a deliver-a pizza-a to some hungry drunk bitches. Molto Bene!
#18 - Attack of the Pwns
Season 1 - Episode 10
Space... the season finale frontier... where the forces of evil (Blue) battle the forces of evil-er (Red) for dominion over the galaxy or a frozen burrito or whatever.
#19 - Ballad of Lord Tourettes
Season 4 - Episode 8
A day in the life of Lord Tourettes is a scary FUCKING thing! Swear-along as he sings all about it.
#20 - Panda Hat
Season 1 - Episode 2
Red got bar in a drunk and made a birthday party by him own self! Whooooooooooo!
#21 - Kitty Amazing
Season 1 - Episode 8
Red and Blue are witness to the horrors of 'Apocalypse Meow.'
#22 - Sex Marks the Spot
Season 2 - Episode 8
Red pulls a map from the magical Porcelain Throne, as he and Blue become the Raiders of the Lost Fart.
#23 - OMG
Season 1 - Episode 6
Red and Blue will plant this episode in your subconscious and then cover it in their own fertilizer.
#24 - Zombies & Shotguns
Season 2 - Episode 1
During a visit to the local MaulMart, Red struggles to crack open some finger food, while Zombies go after much larger body parts.
#25 - Butt Genie
Season 2 - Episode 3
Red and Blue's hamster Flufferz passes away, but not before passing a magical teapot out his poop hole.