Two and a Half Men

The WORST episodes of Two and a Half Men

Every episode of Two and a Half Men ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Two and a Half Men!

Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.

Last Updated: 9/5/2022Network: CBS
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Of Course He's Dead (2)
star
6.46
949 votes

#1 - Of Course He's Dead (2)

Season 12 - Episode 16 - Aired 2/19/2015

Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?

Directors: James Widdoes
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
star
7.27
3303 votes

#2 - Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/27/2003

Charlie tries to teach Jake to avoid certain calls that Charlie doesn't want to deal with, like his mother (Evelyn) for one. Evelyn gets so frustrated with not being able to talk to Charlie, that she decides to drop in while in the neighborhood. She invites them to dinner, to meet her new boyfriend (Tommy). When the brothers get over to their mothers house, Charlie is shocked to realize that Tommy's daughter is Olivia, one of the people he has been avoiding. Olivia tries to confront Charlie about their situation, but doesn't get the answer she wants, and throws a drink in his face, then storms off. After a week of not being able to contact their mother, Alan gets worried about her. So the brothers decide to go to her house and see if she's okay. They find her sitting in the dark and drinking, and she informs them that Tommy dumped her for a younger women. Later the brothers get Jake to try and cheer her up.

Watch Now:iTunes
Working for Caligula
star
7.27
2830 votes

#3 - Working for Caligula

Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/18/2006

Charlie returns to his bachelor lifestyle after Alan moves out of the house. Alan suffers a breakdown after his divorce from Kandi.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
For Whom the Booty Calls
star
7.30
1063 votes

#4 - For Whom the Booty Calls

Season 12 - Episode 11 - Aired 1/22/2015

Walden joins a group for adoptive fathers, and finds it to be a nice escape from Alan.

Watch Now:iTunes
Kissing Abe Lincoln
star
7.30
2577 votes

#5 - Kissing Abe Lincoln

Season 4 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/27/2006

Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
If My Hole Could Talk
star
7.31
2603 votes

#6 - If My Hole Could Talk

Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 5/12/2008

Charlie's attracted to an older self-help author. Alan and Jake clash over a project for school.

Directors: Jon Cryer
Watch Now:iTunes
Why We Gave Up Women
star
7.31
2649 votes

#7 - Why We Gave Up Women

Season 9 - Episode 22 - Aired 4/30/2012

Charlie's ghost pays a visit to Alan after he suffers a minor heart attack.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
I Merely Slept with a Commie
star
7.32
2541 votes

#8 - I Merely Slept with a Commie

Season 4 - Episode 17 - Aired 2/26/2007

After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend’s funeral, the boys share their feelings that this could also be the case at her funeral. Evelyn tries to prove them wrong by introducing them to a couple she help adopt a boy from China. The boys return fire by inviting the young man to a play date with Jake.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
Humiliation is a visual medium
star
7.33
2536 votes

#9 - Humiliation is a visual medium

Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 1/23/2006

Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.

Directors: Rob Schiller
Watch Now:iTunes
People Who Love Peepholes
star
7.34
4169 votes

#10 - People Who Love Peepholes

Season 9 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/26/2011

Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
Release the Dogs
star
7.34
2643 votes

#11 - Release the Dogs

Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/13/2006

Alan suffers from insomnia. He visits his psychiatrist (Jane Lynch), who reveals that the cause of Alan's sleepless nights is his jealousy towards Charlie, and his inability to glide through life.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
star
7.34
2772 votes

#12 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/7/2005

Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
Sarah Like Puny Alan
star
7.34
2931 votes

#13 - Sarah Like Puny Alan

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 1/13/2004

Charlie finally gets a chance for a double date with a hot neighbor, who is out for revenge on her cheating husband, and her sister who's a hot soap opera actress, and needs Alan to come along. The problem is that Alan gets sick from Jake, so Charlie takes them to a steam room to help Alan get rid of his flu symptoms. This backfires, as Charlie also gets sick, but he has no intentions of canceling the date.

Watch Now:iTunes
The Straw in My Donut Hole
star
7.35
2838 votes

#14 - The Straw in My Donut Hole

Season 9 - Episode 23 - Aired 5/7/2012

Zoey isn't convinced Alan deserves all the love and affection he receives upon his return from the hospital.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
Big Flappy Bastards
star
7.35
4196 votes

#15 - Big Flappy Bastards

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/29/2003

While spending time with Jake, Charlie finds it hard to enforce rules that Alan has set out for him. It gets to the point were Jake lures a flock of sea gulls into his room, and Charlie gets very upset. This prompts Jake to try and get Charlie to forgive him. Alan starts doing chores for Judith, in the hopes of them getting back together. During one of the tasks, Judith kisses Alan, leading him to believe that things will get back to the way they once were.

Directors: Andy Ackerman
Watch Now:iTunes
For the Sake of the Child
star
7.36
3462 votes

#16 - For the Sake of the Child

Season 7 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/19/2009

Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
star
7.36
2769 votes

#17 - Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

Season 1 - Episode 17 - Aired 2/23/2004

Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.

Watch Now:iTunes
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
star
7.36
3667 votes

#18 - Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

Season 7 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/8/2010

Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
Of Course He's Dead (1)
star
7.37
1360 votes

#19 - Of Course He's Dead (1)

Season 12 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/19/2015

Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?

Watch Now:iTunes
A Pot Smoking Monkey
star
7.38
2690 votes

#20 - A Pot Smoking Monkey

Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/9/2006

Alan tries to hire his ex-wife's lawyer to help him win custody over the dog he and Kandi shared.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
star
7.38
2628 votes

#21 - The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/2/2006

Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, a beautiful woman he just met, but after he nearly drowns he is convinced that he saw his late father.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
star
7.38
2949 votes

#22 - Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/22/2008

In the 6th season opener, Charlie runs into an ex-girlfriend (Rena Sofer) and a child who bears a striking resemblance to Charlie.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
The Devil's Lube
star
7.39
2623 votes

#23 - The Devil's Lube

Season 6 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/15/2008

Charlie finds himself re-examining his wild ways when an old friend dies and begins to feel that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close.

Directors: Jeff Melman
Watch Now:iTunes
Who's Vod Kanockers?
star
7.39
2988 votes

#24 - Who's Vod Kanockers?

Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/25/2006

Charlie finally tells Alan the truth about why he did not marry Mia. Charlie and Alan deal with a noisy neighbour.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
star
7.40
2479 votes

#25 - Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/6/2006

Berta's daughter, Naomi, is pregnant and Berta drags Charlie with her when she confronts the baby’s father. Alan reveals a secret fetish.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:iTunes

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