The BEST episodes written by Jim Patterson
#1 - I Know She Still Loves Me
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 15
Beau and Maggie come to a decison about their relationship, but they don't see eye to eye about the ranch. the boys take Kenny out drinking.
#2 - Got a Little Crazy
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 4
Colt fixes things with Abby and upon learning that Beau and Maggie will not be home, the boys hold a party with Abby, Kenny, Heather, and her friend back at the ranch.
#3 - The Cowboy Rides Away
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 18
Beau tries to make amends with the boys, but it may be too little, too late. A job offer drives a wedge between Rooster and Colt.
#5 - Merry Christmas (Wherever You Are)
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 20
Colt realizes what he wants for his future, Beau and Maggie find some closure, and the gang celebrates Christmas at the bar.
#6 - Gone as a Girl Can Get
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 11
An angry Beau clears Maggie's things out of the house. Colt tries to sort out his feelings for Abby and Heather.
#7 - Sittin' on the Fence
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 13
Beau's depressed over Maggie, so Mary tries to fix him up with a friend. Colt wonders when Abby's going to follow through on her promise.
#8 - The Boys of Fall
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 3
Beau injures his back and has to go to the doctor; something he hasn't done in twelve years. He learns that he has high blood pressure. Colt is asked to go help out the football team at his old high school by the quarterback. The coach doesn't want him to do so and Colt gets upset and makes a fool of himself. He realizes that he needs to make a change due to his father who isn't happy changing his diet.
#9 - There Goes My Life
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 9
Heather sets up Rooster with her sister but Colt is worried that Rooster will ruin his relationship with Heather. Maggie and Beau air their problems in marriage counseling. Rooster winds up interfering with Colt and Heather's relationship in an even more disturbing way. When Colt and Heather go out to Cracker Barrel, it winds up being the night that Kenny proposes to Abby there.
#10 - Down the Road
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 10
It's time to market the cows, but Beau has second thoughts due to rock bottom cattle prices. Colt and Rooster navigate the complexities of their dating situations. Abby has a revelation for Colt.
#11 - Some People Change
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 2
Colt's high school sweetheart Abby (Elisha Cuthbert) is dating Kenny (Bret Harrison), much to his annoyance. His father treats him like a servant and won't listen to his ideas. As a result, Colt decides to leave, leaving Rooster to stick around as he had done. Colt drops by his mother's place, where she talks him into sticking around.
#12 - Sips, Sonnets, and Sodomy
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 16
When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.
Watch Now:Amazon
#13 - One Nut Johnson
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 10
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
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#14 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 10
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
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#15 - On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 10
Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.
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#16 - Paint It, Pierce It, or Plug It
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 15
When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.
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#17 - Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 1
When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing.
Watch Now:Amazon
#18 - Springtime on a Stick
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 8
Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell the pharmacist.
#19 - Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 23
Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old, but ends up being more interested in her grandmother; Jake and Alan go on a trip.
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#20 - Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 19
Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.
#21 - Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 14
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.
#22 - A Big Bag of Dog
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 2
Walden has a breakdown after his relationship with Zoey ends.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#23 - Something My Gynecologist Said
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 8
Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.
#24 - Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 4
Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.
#25 - Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 14
Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.
#26 - Four Balls, Two Bats, and One Mitt
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 3
Lyndsey and Alan try to add a little excitement to their love life.
#27 - A Good Time in Central Africa
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 9
When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband.
#28 - Back Where I Come From
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 1
Colt Bennett (Ashton Kutcher) returns home to his father's ranch. His older brother Jameson "Rooster" Bennett (Danny Masterson) is surprised to see him while his father is upset. His mother is happy to see him. Colt winds up deciding to stick around town at the ranch as the family needs the help.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#29 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 18
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.
#30 - Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 14
Obsessed and believing her to be married, Charlie starts stalking Rose. Jake and Eldridge start taping themselves doing Jackass-style stunts.
#31 - Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 16
Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south.
#32 - Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 13
Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.
#33 - You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 4
A friend's visiting daughter makes Walden feel his age.
Watch Now:Apple TV
#34 - Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 8
When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's (Melanie Lynskey) help.
#35 - Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Two and a Half Men - Season 4 - Episode 20
Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.
#36 - Kinda Like Necrophilia
Two and a Half Men - Season 5 - Episode 10
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.
#37 - Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 15
While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.
#38 - Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 11
Walden teams up with a beautiful former employee (Odette Annable) on a new project; Alan gives Jenny advice about her girlfriend (Aly Michalka).
#39 - Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 21
Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.
#40 - Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 5
Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.
#41 - A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 2
Charlie is willing to do anything for Alan to accept Lyndsey's offer to move in with her.
#42 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 9
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.
#43 - The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Two and a Half Men - Season 6 - Episode 17
Charlie's admission that he's in love with Chelsea gets a surprising reaction from her
#44 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 19
Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.
#45 - Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 7
Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.
#46 - Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 4
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.
#47 - A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 10
Walden hits it off with a British babe, but neither of them is sure he's ready to re-enter the dating world.
#48 - Thank You for the Intercourse
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 8
When Walden begins redecorating the beach house, Alan becomes overly emotional.
#49 - Bite Me, Supreme Court
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 13
Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) proposes to Evelyn; Alan and Walden plan a bachelor party for Marty.
#50 - Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 7
Jake has a crush on his chemistry tutor, who has a crush on Walden. Meanwhile, Alan obsesses over the journal his brother left him in his will.