The BEST episodes written by Jim Patterson
#4 - Sips, Sonnets, and Sodomy
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 16
When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.
#5 - One Nut Johnson
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 10
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
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#6 - On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 10
Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.
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#9 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 10
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
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#11 - Paint It, Pierce It, or Plug It
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 15
When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.
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#12 - Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 1
When Jake finds out that Alan has been dating Eldridge's mom, he packs up and heads to Judith and Herb's. Meanwhile, Charlie decides it's time to cut back on boozing.
#13 - Springtime on a Stick
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 8
Charlie and Alan try to set up Evelyn with Russell the pharmacist.
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#14 - Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 19
Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.
#16 - Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 23
Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old, but ends up being more interested in her grandmother; Jake and Alan go on a trip.
#17 - Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 4
Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.
#18 - Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 14
Alan is faced with relationship trouble when he does not give Lyndsey a key to the beach house; Walden, Alan, Herb and Billy commiserate about relationships.
#19 - A Big Bag of Dog
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 2
Walden has a breakdown after his relationship with Zoey ends.
#20 - Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 14
Alan finds out that Lyndsey broke up with Larry without telling him; Walden tries to prove he is a man's man.
#21 - Something My Gynecologist Said
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 8
Alan feels reluctant to make a commitment to Lyndsey, but an unexpected source inspires him; Walden enjoys being the boy-toy of a wealthy older woman.
#22 - Four Balls, Two Bats, and One Mitt
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 3
Lyndsey and Alan try to add a little excitement to their love life.
#25 - A Good Time in Central Africa
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 9
When Berta takes a couple of days off, Charlie falls for her replacement. Meanwhile, Alan believes he's being stalked by Lyndsey's ex-husband.
#26 - There Goes My Life
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 9
Heather sets up Rooster with her sister but Colt is worried that Rooster will ruin his relationship with Heather. Maggie and Beau air their problems in marriage counseling. Rooster winds up interfering with Colt and Heather's relationship in an even more disturbing way. When Colt and Heather go out to Cracker Barrel, it winds up being the night that Kenny proposes to Abby there.
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#27 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 18
Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.
#29 - Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 14
Obsessed and believing her to be married, Charlie starts stalking Rose. Jake and Eldridge start taping themselves doing Jackass-style stunts.
#31 - Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 16
Depressed on Valentine's Day, Walden tries to talk Kate into giving him another chance; Alan's holiday plans go south.
#32 - Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 8
When Alan and Lyndsey's affair puts Walden in danger, he is forced to accept Rose's (Melanie Lynskey) help.
#33 - The Boys of Fall
The Ranch - Season 1 - Episode 3
Beau injures his back and has to go to the doctor; something he hasn't done in twelve years. He learns that he has high blood pressure. Colt is asked to go help out the football team at his old high school by the quarterback. The coach doesn't want him to do so and Colt gets upset and makes a fool of himself. He realizes that he needs to make a change due to his father who isn't happy changing his diet.
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#34 - Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 13
Walden’s ex-wife and mother try to take control of his company, so he turns to Alan for help.
#36 - Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 11
Walden teams up with a beautiful former employee (Odette Annable) on a new project; Alan gives Jenny advice about her girlfriend (Aly Michalka).
#37 - You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Two and a Half Men - Season 10 - Episode 4
A friend's visiting daughter makes Walden feel his age.
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#38 - Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Two and a Half Men - Season 4 - Episode 20
Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.
#39 - Starting Over Again
The Ranch - Season 3 - Episode 1
In the wake of his heart attack, Beau vows to stop sweating the small stuff -- but Colt and Rooster's latest blunder makes him lose his cool.
#40 - Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 7
Lyndsey's jealousy disrupts Walden's and Alan's dates with beautiful women.
#41 - Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Two and a Half Men - Season 8 - Episode 15
While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.
#42 - Kiss
Shifting Gears - Season 1 - Episode 10
When Jimmy returns with a new job and a proposition for Riley and the kids to move into his house, Riley is torn between her past and her future. Meanwhile, Matt’s feud with Eve flares up once again after she damages his car.
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#43 - Kinda Like Necrophilia
Two and a Half Men - Season 5 - Episode 10
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend and works on a plan to get back at Charlie, even though this happened when they were in high school.
#44 - Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Two and a Half Men - Season 11 - Episode 5
Alan tries to find out what Lyndsey's boyfriend has over him; Walden helps Jenny pursue her acting career.
#45 - Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Two and a Half Men - Season 9 - Episode 21
Zoey and her daughter move in with Walden; Alan gets more than he bargained for with Lyndsey.
#46 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 19
Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.
#47 - Learning to Live Again
The Ranch - Season 2 - Episode 11
Colt wants to buy Sam Peterson's ranch -- with or without his family's blessing. Colt and Heather have a heart-to-heart about their loss.
#48 - The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Two and a Half Men - Season 6 - Episode 17
Charlie's admission that he's in love with Chelsea gets a surprising reaction from her
#49 - One of Those Nights
The Ranch - Season 2 - Episode 7
During a snowstorm, Colt and Abby head out of town, Beau and Joanne get cozy at the ranch, and Maggie meets a charming stranger.
#50 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Two and a Half Men - Season 7 - Episode 9
Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.