Two and a Half Men

The BEST episodes of Two and a Half Men

Every episode of Two and a Half Men ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Two and a Half Men!

Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.

Last Updated: 6/12/2022Network: CBS
Share:
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
star
8.03
2737 votes

#1 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired 5/16/2005

Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

Directors: J.D. Lobue
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
star
7.92
2423 votes

#2 - Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

Season 10 - Episode 20 - Aired 4/4/2013

Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
star
7.91
2728 votes

#3 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Season 9 - Episode 16 - Aired 2/13/2012

When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
The Mooch at the Boo
star
7.91
2770 votes

#4 - The Mooch at the Boo

Season 6 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/24/2008

Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

Directors: Jeff Melman
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Lotta Delis In Little Armenia
star
7.91
2002 votes

#5 - Lotta Delis In Little Armenia

Season 11 - Episode 20 - Aired 4/24/2014

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!
star
7.88
2081 votes

#6 - On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!

Season 11 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/12/2013

Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
star
7.88
2070 votes

#7 - Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Season 11 - Episode 19 - Aired 4/10/2014

After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
One Nut Johnson
star
7.87
2413 votes

#8 - One Nut Johnson

Season 10 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/6/2012

Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Ergo, the Booty Call
star
7.87
2606 votes

#9 - Ergo, the Booty Call

Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired 3/6/2006

Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

Directors: Gary Halvorson
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Welcome Home, Jake
star
7.87
2074 votes

#10 - Welcome Home, Jake

Season 11 - Episode 17 - Aired 3/13/2014

Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.

Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
star
7.86
2085 votes

#11 - How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Season 11 - Episode 16 - Aired 3/6/2014

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).

Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
The Two Finger Rule
star
7.86
2626 votes

#12 - The Two Finger Rule

Season 6 - Episode 19 - Aired 3/30/2009

After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Just Like Buffalo
star
7.85
2511 votes

#13 - Just Like Buffalo

Season 1 - Episode 23 - Aired 5/17/2004

Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Camel Filters + Pheromones
star
7.82
3013 votes

#14 - Camel Filters + Pheromones

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/5/2004

When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.

Watch Now:iTunes
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
star
7.82
2026 votes

#15 - Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season 11 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/8/2014

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
star
7.81
2065 votes

#16 - Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

Season 10 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/7/2013

When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
star
7.81
2628 votes

#17 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired 2/14/2005

When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.

Directors: Pamela Fryman
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
That's Why They Call It Ball Room
star
7.81
3303 votes

#18 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Season 7 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/7/2009

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
star
7.81
2918 votes

#19 - Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Season 6 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/6/2008

Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.

Directors: Jean Sagal
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
star
7.80
2139 votes

#20 - Give Santa a Tail-Hole

Season 10 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/13/2012

Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
star
7.80
2809 votes

#21 - Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Season 6 - Episode 20 - Aired 4/13/2009

Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
star
7.80
2240 votes

#22 - Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

Season 10 - Episode 19 - Aired 3/14/2013

Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
This Is Not Gonna End Well
star
7.80
3410 votes

#23 - This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season 7 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/24/2010

Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

Directors: Lee Aronsohn
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
West Side Story
star
7.80
2113 votes

#24 - West Side Story

Season 11 - Episode 18 - Aired 4/3/2014

Walden's ex-girlfriend invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.

Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
star
7.80
2291 votes

#25 - Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Season 11 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/17/2013

Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes

Want to see the rest of the rankings?

Episode Ninja is a small business run by one person.
Pro memberships help fund servers and new feature development!