The BEST Episodes of Two and a Half Men

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Jul 11, 2020

Network: CBS

Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.

Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

#1 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired May 16, 2005

Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.

star 8.04
2,643 votes
Directors: J.D. Lobue
Writers: Don Foster, Susan Beavers
Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

#2 - Bazinga! That's from a TV Show

Season 10 - Episode 20 - Aired Apr 4, 2013

Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.

star 7.94
2,354 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Don Reo, Matt Ross, Max Searle
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

#3 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

Season 9 - Episode 16 - Aired Feb 13, 2012

When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.

star 7.92
2,658 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, Lee Aronsohn
Lotta Delis In Little Armenia

#4 - Lotta Delis In Little Armenia

Season 11 - Episode 20 - Aired Apr 24, 2014

Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.

star 7.92
1,945 votes
The Mooch at the Boo

#5 - The Mooch at the Boo

Season 6 - Episode 9 - Aired Nov 24, 2008

Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

star 7.91
2,668 votes
Directors: Jeff Melman
Writers: Susan Beavers
On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!

#6 - On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!

Season 11 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 12, 2013

Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.

star 7.90
2,017 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Don Reo, Jeff Lowell, Jim Patterson, Matt Ross, Max Searle, Saladin K. Patterson
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

#7 - Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang

Season 11 - Episode 19 - Aired Apr 10, 2014

After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).

star 7.89
2,014 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers:
One Nut Johnson

#8 - One Nut Johnson

Season 10 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 6, 2012

Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.

star 7.89
2,346 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson
Welcome Home, Jake

#9 - Welcome Home, Jake

Season 11 - Episode 17 - Aired Mar 13, 2014

Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.

star 7.88
2,020 votes
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

#10 - How to Get Rid of Alan Harper

Season 11 - Episode 16 - Aired Mar 6, 2014

Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).

star 7.88
2,028 votes
Ergo, the Booty Call

#11 - Ergo, the Booty Call

Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired Mar 6, 2006

Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

star 7.87
2,513 votes
Directors: Gary Halvorson
Writers: Don Foster, Susan Beavers
The Two Finger Rule

#12 - The Two Finger Rule

Season 6 - Episode 19 - Aired Mar 30, 2009

After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.

star 7.86
2,530 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn
Just Like Buffalo

#13 - Just Like Buffalo

Season 1 - Episode 23 - Aired May 17, 2004

Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

star 7.85
2,397 votes
Writers: Don Foster, Lee Aronsohn
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

#14 - Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Season 11 - Episode 22 - Aired May 8, 2014

Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.

star 7.84
1,971 votes
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

#15 - Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

Season 10 - Episode 15 - Aired Feb 7, 2013

When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.

star 7.83
2,003 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Jim Patterson, Matt Ross, Max Searle
Give Santa a Tail-Hole

#16 - Give Santa a Tail-Hole

Season 10 - Episode 11 - Aired Dec 13, 2012

Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.

star 7.82
2,077 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Mark Seale, Matt Ross
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

#17 - Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon

Season 10 - Episode 19 - Aired Mar 14, 2013

Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.

star 7.82
2,178 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson, Susan McMartin
Camel Filters + Pheromones

#18 - Camel Filters + Pheromones

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Jan 5, 2004

When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.

star 7.82
2,909 votes
Writers: Mark Roberts (X), Susan Beavers
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

#19 - Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank

Season 11 - Episode 4 - Aired Oct 17, 2013

Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.

star 7.82
2,226 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Don Reo, Jim Patterson, Steve Tompkins, Susan McMartin
That's Why They Call It Ball Room

#20 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Season 7 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 7, 2009

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

star 7.81
3,214 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Jim Patterson
Damn You, Eggs Benedict

#21 - Damn You, Eggs Benedict

Season 6 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 6, 2008

Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.

star 7.81
2,817 votes
Directors: Jean Sagal
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Don Foster, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts
West Side Story

#22 - West Side Story

Season 11 - Episode 18 - Aired Apr 3, 2014

Walden's ex-girlfriend invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.

star 7.81
2,059 votes
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

#23 - Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau

Season 6 - Episode 20 - Aired Apr 13, 2009

Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.

star 7.81
2,718 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Eddie Gorodetsky, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts, Susan Beavers
Cows, Prepare to be Tipped

#24 - Cows, Prepare to be Tipped

Season 10 - Episode 23 - Aired May 9, 2013

Walden dates an attractive 22-year-old (Hilary Duff), but ends up being more interested in her grandmother (Marilu Henner); Jake and Alan go on a trip.

star 7.81
2,097 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Don Reo, Eddie Gorodetsky, Jim Patterson
This Is Not Gonna End Well

#25 - This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season 7 - Episode 22 - Aired May 24, 2010

Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

star 7.81
3,328 votes
Directors: Lee Aronsohn
Writers: Chuck Lorre, Don Foster, Lee Aronsohn, Mark Roberts