The BEST Episodes of Two and a Half Men
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Dec 1, 2019
Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.
#1 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Season 2 - Episode 23
Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.
#3 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Season 2 - Episode 16
When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.
#4 - Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 - Episode 16
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
#6 - The Two Finger Rule
Season 6 - Episode 19
After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.
#7 - Smooth as a Ken Doll
Season 4 - Episode 19
Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb.
#8 - Santa's Village of the Damned
Season 3 - Episode 11
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
#9 - Lotta Delis In Little Armenia
Season 11 - Episode 20
Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.
#10 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 3 - Episode 24
Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.
#11 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Season 9 - Episode 16
When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.
#12 - Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
Season 10 - Episode 20
Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.
#13 - A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Season 2 - Episode 19
After Charlie takes Alan to an eye doctor, they end up at cafe where they bump into Charlie's ex-girlfriend, Sherri. While there Alan shows an interest in Sherri, and decides to ask her out. The problem is that Alan can't get over Sherri's relationship with Charlie.
#14 - Baseball Was Better With Steroids
Season 6 - Episode 24
Charlie starts to question his relationship with Chelsea when he hears that Mia is back in town. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor and Charlie, Alan and Herb rush her to the hospital, on the sixth season finale.
#15 - Does This Smell Funny to You?
Season 2 - Episode 24
Charlie unknowingly sleeps with an older man's trophy wife while Jake has to read a paper to his class.
#17 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Season 3 - Episode 20
Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
#18 - Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Season 2 - Episode 11
After getting unusually turned down at a bar, Charlie learns that a website has been made dedicated to exposing his lifestyle. Charlie sets out to find who created the site, making amends to all those he stood up, but it's harder than it looks when all the women take the apology better than expected.
#19 - Arguments for the Quickie
Season 3 - Episode 23
Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.
#20 - Frodo's Headshots
Season 9 - Episode 9
Upon his release from the hospital, Alan is met with a slew of challenges that test his ability to cope.
#22 - Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Season 8 - Episode 15
While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.
#23 - Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Season 11 - Episode 19
After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).
#24 - Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Season 5 - Episode 8
Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.
#25 - Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Season 3 - Episode 19
Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.