The BEST Episodes of Two and a Half Men
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Sep 21, 2021
Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.
#1 - Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired May 16, 2005
Evelyn demands Jake spend a night at her place when she finds out he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Neither Alan nor Charlie are keen on the idea, but going to a bar after dropping off Jake quickly erases their concerns.
#2 - Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
Season 10 - Episode 20 - Aired Apr 4, 2013
Walden and Alan are caught in the crossfire when Jake cheats on his girlfriend (Jaime Pressly) with her 18-year-old daughter.
#3 - Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Season 9 - Episode 16 - Aired Feb 13, 2012
When a huge storm keeps Walden, Alan, Zoey and Lindsay at home on Valentine's Day, conflict brews and relationships are strained.
#4 - The Mooch at the Boo
Season 6 - Episode 9 - Aired Nov 24, 2008
Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.
#5 - Lotta Delis In Little Armenia
Season 11 - Episode 20 - Aired Apr 24, 2014
Alan finds an opportunity to make money; Walden addresses his co-dependency issues.
#6 - On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!
Season 11 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 12, 2013
Jake sends Alan a Japanese delicacy; the house comes alive with questionable Christmas lyrics.
#7 - One Nut Johnson
Season 10 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 6, 2012
Alan helps Walden create a new identity so he can avoid women who are only interested in his money.
#8 - Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Season 11 - Episode 19 - Aired Apr 10, 2014
After reconnecting with Kate, Walden becomes convinced she is the one for him -- until he meets a woman named Vivian (Mila Kunis).
#9 - Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired Mar 6, 2006
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
#10 - Welcome Home, Jake
Season 11 - Episode 17 - Aired Mar 13, 2014
Lyndsey finds out about Alan's relationship with Gretchen; Walden has a difficult time telling Barry to find his own place.
#11 - How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Season 11 - Episode 16 - Aired Mar 6, 2014
Walden thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him; Alan starts dating Larry's sister, Gretchen (Kimberly Williams-Paisley).
#12 - The Two Finger Rule
Season 6 - Episode 19 - Aired Mar 30, 2009
After Chelsea discovers a nude picture of another woman on Charlie's cell phone, he blows off steam by going out for a night of drinking with Alan, Herb and his neighbor.
#14 - Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Season 11 - Episode 22 - Aired May 8, 2014
Alan must face the consequences after revealing his identity to Larry.
#15 - Camel Filters + Pheromones
Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Jan 5, 2004
When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.
#16 - Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Season 10 - Episode 15 - Aired Feb 7, 2013
When Jake brings his 36-year-old girlfriend home for a visit, Alan is concerned; Walden tries to hide something from Alan.
#17 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Season 7 - Episode 10 - Aired Dec 7, 2009
Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.
#18 - Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Season 6 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 6, 2008
Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.
#19 - Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired Feb 14, 2005
When Judith decides to take a vacation, the brothers have to take care of Jake during the week. Alan finds it challenging, and even forgets to pick up Jake from soccer practice. When Alan finds out that he has to go to the I.R.S. because they're auditing him, he forces Charlie to take care of Jake, and Charlie doesn't do any better then Alan.
#20 - Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Season 10 - Episode 11 - Aired Dec 13, 2012
Walden juggles his two identities; Alan ends up alone on Christmas.
#21 - Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Season 6 - Episode 20 - Aired Apr 13, 2009
Charlie's desperate to make sure Chelsea and Evelyn don't befriend each other following their first meeting.
#22 - This Is Not Gonna End Well
Season 7 - Episode 22 - Aired May 24, 2010
Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.
#23 - Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Season 11 - Episode 4 - Aired Oct 17, 2013
Walden parties with Jenny and her attractive friends; Alan's illicit affair with Lyndsey is jeopardized.
#24 - Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Season 10 - Episode 19 - Aired Mar 14, 2013
Alan and Walden end up partying too hard as they try to cheer up Herb.
#25 - West Side Story
Season 11 - Episode 18 - Aired Apr 3, 2014
Walden's ex-girlfriend invites him to her boutique opening; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's home.