The BEST episodes of Two and a Half Men season 7

Every episode of Two and a Half Men season 7, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Two and a Half Men season 7!

Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.

Last Updated: 11/7/2024Network: CBSStatus: Ended
That's Why They Call It Ball Room
star
7.80
3305 votes

#1 - That's Why They Call It Ball Room

Season 7 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/7/2009

Charlie discovers that Chelsea has not been completely honest about her finances.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
This Is Not Gonna End Well
star
7.79
3408 votes

#2 - This Is Not Gonna End Well

Season 7 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/24/2010

Charlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.

Directors: Lee Aronsohn
Watch Now:Amazon
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
star
7.72
3162 votes

#3 - Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

Season 7 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/16/2009

While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
Untainted By Filth
star
7.71
3350 votes

#4 - Untainted By Filth

Season 7 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/9/2009

Alan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
Warning, It's Dirty
star
7.71
3364 votes

#5 - Warning, It's Dirty

Season 7 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/15/2009

Jake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, whose girlfriend is away for Christmas.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
star
7.70
3404 votes

#6 - Ixnay on the Oggie Day

Season 7 - Episode 18 - Aired 3/22/2010

Charlie has a return engagement with Chelsea's best friend, while Alan has an unexpected effect on a new female patient.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
Yay, No Polyps!
star
7.63
3313 votes

#7 - Yay, No Polyps!

Season 7 - Episode 13 - Aired 1/18/2010

Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
star
7.62
3714 votes

#8 - Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave

Season 7 - Episode 19 - Aired 4/12/2010

Alan is torn between the bad influence of Jake's new friend and the hotness of his mother.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
star
7.62
3243 votes

#9 - Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

Season 7 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/11/2010

Jake hopes to win back Celeste by writing her love songs. Alan and Herb hope to keep Judith from finding out they've become friends.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:Amazon
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
star
7.61
3182 votes

#10 - Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

Season 7 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/23/2009

Charlie discovers he has not been satisfying Chelsea; Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair without spending much money.

Directors: James Widdoes
I Called Him Magoo
star
7.59
3837 votes

#11 - I Called Him Magoo

Season 7 - Episode 20 - Aired 5/10/2010

Alan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"

Directors: James Widdoes
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
star
7.55
3648 votes

#12 - Whipped Unto the Third Generation

Season 7 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/28/2009

When Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.

Directors: James Widdoes
Writer: Mark Roberts
Give Me Your Thumb
star
7.54
3220 votes

#13 - Give Me Your Thumb

Season 7 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/2/2009

Alan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.

Directors: James Widdoes
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
star
7.54
3368 votes

#14 - Mmm, Fish. Yum.

Season 7 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/5/2009

Alan ends up playing maid to Judith's new baby as well as his former mother-in-law. Meanwhile, Jake uses an incriminating photo to blackmail Charlie.

Directors: James Widdoes
Gumby with a Pokey
star
7.54
3583 votes

#15 - Gumby with a Pokey

Season 7 - Episode 21 - Aired 5/17/2010

Charlie is visited by the ghosts of his ex-girlfriends while Alan and Jake are on a road trip.

Directors: James Widdoes
I Found Your Moustache
star
7.53
3604 votes

#16 - I Found Your Moustache

Season 7 - Episode 17 - Aired 3/8/2010

Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.

Directors: James Widdoes
818-JKLPUZO
star
7.45
3967 votes

#17 - 818-JKLPUZO

Season 7 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/21/2009

Charlie must make a difficult decision about his future and with which woman he wants to spend his life: Chelsea or Mia.

Directors: James Widdoes
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
star
7.44
3558 votes

#18 - Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

Season 7 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/12/2009

Alan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.

Directors: James Widdoes
Crude and Uncalled For
star
7.44
3205 votes

#19 - Crude and Uncalled For

Season 7 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/1/2010

Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.

Directors: James Widdoes
Tinkle Like a Princess
star
7.43
3761 votes

#20 - Tinkle Like a Princess

Season 7 - Episode 16 - Aired 3/1/2010

Charlie runs off to Vegas and returns with a new wife, but she's not Chelsea.

Directors: James Widdoes
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
star
7.35
3653 votes

#21 - Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

Season 7 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/8/2010

Chelsea and Charlie's relationship is at risk when Charlie's jealousy comes between them.

Directors: James Widdoes
For the Sake of the Child
star
7.34
3465 votes

#22 - For the Sake of the Child

Season 7 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/19/2009

Jake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.

Directors: James Widdoes