The WORST episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

Every episode of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps!

The sex-fuelled lives of five late-teens/early twenty-somethings in the northern town of Runcorn. Janet is going out with Jonny, his best friend Gaz has started to date Janet's best friend Donna, and student Louise just wants a job to keep her in cigarettes. There's also Donna's sarcastic mother, Flo, constantly nagging her daughter to take up a 'proper' relationship with a worthy young man. Storylines followed the on-again/off-again relationships of the young protagonists who have lots of sex and meet in pubs.

Last Updated: 2/3/2024Network: BBC ThreeStatus: Ended
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War, Hurrgh!
star
5.44
52 votes

#1 - War, Hurrgh!

Season 6 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/16/2006

Janet starts her new job at the Archers and soon thinks of a way to entice more elderly customers into the archers meanwhile Jonny tries to help Gaz become a Dad.

Directors: Becky Martin
Writer: Robin Taylor
Dead Jonny Walking
star
5.80
45 votes

#2 - Dead Jonny Walking

Season 7 - Episode 4 - Aired 2/10/2008

Gaz tries to change the born-again Christian Munch, back to his old self, by tempting him with alcohol. Meanwhile, Louise is disappointed to learn she's having a girl while Janet picks 'dead Jonny' as a theme for Donna and Gaz's wedding.

Directors: Nick Wood
Watch Now:Amazon
Here Bums the Bride
star
5.94
48 votes

#3 - Here Bums the Bride

Season 7 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/17/2008

Gaz and Donna finally tie the knot, but a shocking discovery by Louise could cause their new marriage to end prematurely.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Kate Wincup
Closing Time
star
6.00
54 votes

#4 - Closing Time

Season 6 - Episode 9 - Aired 4/23/2006

Janet is on the point of losing her job as bar manager of the Archer and Jonny is accused of having homosexual-tendencies. Donna's dad is on the phone and Gaz invites Donna's 16 year old brother over to stay (not a good idea).

Directors: Nick Wood
Watch Now:Amazon
Homophobia Is Gay
star
6.04
53 votes

#5 - Homophobia Is Gay

Season 7 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/27/2008

Louise wants to move in with Janet, who isn't too keen on the idea, so Louise decides to try and convince her by holding a seance to contact Jonny's spirit.

Directors: Nick Wood
Nobbly Bobbly
star
6.41
85 votes

#6 - Nobbly Bobbly

Season 5 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/9/2005

Donna has recieved some exciting news, her Mother left her house in her will. But Gaz isn't best pleased, as he believes Flo still haunts the cupboard under the stairs. Louise goes to see a psychaitrist for messing with Jonny's record, turns out she was trying to save him from finding out Gaz and Janet had slept with each other. But will she tell Jonny? Speaking of which, Jonny has a very important question for Janet...

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Writer: Karen Laws
African Death Face
star
6.43
46 votes

#7 - African Death Face

Season 7 - Episode 7 - Aired 3/2/2008

Louise tries to arrange for Donna to be her birthing partner. Gaz and Janet's increasing attraction is disturbed by a sudden announcement from Donna.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Jon Brown
Watch Now:Amazon
Goblins
star
6.46
80 votes

#8 - Goblins

Season 6 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/5/2006

Janet gets a new job but Donna's career is on a downward spiral. Meanwhile, Louise has a letter from her birth mother but she can't open it.

Directors: Becky Martin
Writer: Daniel Peak
Watch Now:Amazon
Borry
star
6.53
45 votes

#9 - Borry

Season 7 - Episode 8 - Aired 3/9/2008

Gaz is not keen on moving south with Donna, and has fallen in love with Janet; Donna has met a new man called Wesley in London and wants to move on from Gaz. However, Gaz lets slip that he and Janet are in love, and Donna throws beer over them but eventually realises that Janet and Gaz belong together, because they are "scum"- but in a nice way. Meanwhile Louise is about to give birth, aided only by Munch, and produces (in The Archer) a beautiful girl whom she names "Louise Louise Brooks", although she tells Munch the name is "Louise Munch Brooks". Gaz and Donna part on ostensibly good terms, and the episode closes with flashbacks of moments throughout the series, to the background of Avril Lavigne's "When You’re Gone".

Directors: Nick Wood
Dead
star
6.58
107 votes

#10 - Dead

Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/2/2005

It's the day of the funeral - and our Jonny is there in the wheelchair. He may have survived, but that meant the loss of another character - Donna's mother Flo. Jonny is famous after his shooting, and is determined to milk it for all he can. Meanwhile, Gaz's ""impotence"" problem has returned, if only he could get rid of it the way he did before. Louise spends the night in a cell for messing with Jonny's records.

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Watch Now:Amazon
Six Months Later
star
6.63
51 votes

#11 - Six Months Later

Season 7 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/24/2008

Janet's inability to keep up the mortgage payments result in her house being repossessed, so Gaz comes up with a plan which could suit everyone.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Jon Brown
Drunk
star
6.66
53 votes

#12 - Drunk

Season 6 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/26/2006

After being disappointed by her real father, Louise becomes an alcoholic. Gaz asks Donna to have his baby but she refuses.

Directors: Nick Wood
Watch Now:Amazon
This is Your Life
star
6.69
16 votes

#13 - This is Your Life

Season 9 - Episode 6 - Aired 5/24/2011

Gaz celebrates his 30th birthday but his festive mood is short-lived when he reflects on his life and feels melancholy about what little he has to show. Donna ends up facing a crisis of her own after she pays a visit to the doctor's and is left shocked by the news she is given. Tim is surprised when Leonard asks him out on a date.

Directors: Nick Wood
Watch Now:Amazon
Dabdaa!
star
6.70
47 votes

#14 - Dabdaa!

Season 7 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/20/2008

Janet tries to find a quick way to recover from her grief, following the death of her husband Jonny, so Gaz offers his help.

Directors: Nick Wood
Nil By Muff
star
6.74
19 votes

#15 - Nil By Muff

Season 9 - Episode 1 - Aired 4/26/2011

Gaz struggles to adjust to being in a wheelchair after returning home, and is confused by the behaviour of aspiring footballer Billy, who helped to care for him in hospital. Meanwhile, Tim's life is thrown into turmoil when his younger sister Cassie turns up on his doorstep.

Directors: Nick Wood
God
star
6.76
29 votes

#16 - God

Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/20/2005

Due to a rainstorm stopping, Louise begins to think she is God. Meanwhile, Johnny tries to teach corinthian about buiscits and how to be a man, and Janet thinks about a Christening.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Daniel Peak
Watch Now:Amazon
Vomit
star
6.82
123 votes

#17 - Vomit

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 5/6/2002

Jonny isn't feeling very well so it's up to Gaz to look after him as Janet has better things to do! Gaz goes to look for Janet and catches her snogging her ex boyfriend! Louise was there, and she saw it all, and, unfortunately for Janet, you can't trust Louise with your secrets!

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Shagger
star
6.83
18 votes

#18 - Shagger

Season 9 - Episode 5 - Aired 5/17/2011

Billy thinks that his sex life with Cassie is affecting his football skills and he attempts to cool things with her. Cassie is determined not to loose him though. Gaz is determined to walk again and gets Donna, Billy and Tim to help get him up and out of his wheelchair.

Directors: Nick Wood
Croppity Crop
star
6.87
52 votes

#19 - Croppity Crop

Season 6 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/2/2006

Janet tries to increase security in the house after Gaz tried to take Corinthian meanwhile Jonny gets a job as a farmer.

Writer: Daniel Peak
Stot Or Pronk
star
6.87
30 votes

#20 - Stot Or Pronk

Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 2/27/2005

Louise persuades Janet to enter the pub quiz to try and improve her mental state. After losing all his extra weight, Gaz is showing off his recently recovered physique to everyone.

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
When Janet Killed Jonny
star
6.88
77 votes

#21 - When Janet Killed Jonny

Season 6 - Episode 10 - Aired 4/30/2006

With the Archer now closed, the gang head off down to break into the now dilapidated pub to see what beer is left over, undeterred by the headlines of 'The Curse of the Archer'. This spoof horror episode sees all kinds of gory goings-on as the gang are trapped in the Archer, unable to escape until sunrise.

Directors: Nick Wood
Shrink
star
7.02
56 votes

#22 - Shrink

Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/16/2005

Louise is threatening to tell Donna and Jonny about when Janet and Gaz...y'know, did it. This come at the worst possible time for Janet as Jonny has just proposed to her again, but nobody bothers to take an interest. Donna's had her Mum's house valued at £99,000 and plans a hiking trip to Ecuador, Wales with Gaz. Janet has news of her own, she's pregnant. Jonny is delighted, but Gaz has just accidentally revealed his secret to Donna...

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Schluballybub
star
7.03
107 votes

#23 - Schluballybub

Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 4/27/2003

Gaz's backside is a cause for concern, while Janet has second thoughts about Jonny.

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Val Doonican
star
7.03
69 votes

#24 - Val Doonican

Season 8 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/26/2009

Gaz decides to ask Janet to become his wife following his divorce. Donna decides to help him. After Janet collapses she is taken to the hospital but nobody can hold of Gaz.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Tim Dawson
Finger Sniffing
star
7.05
57 votes

#25 - Finger Sniffing

Season 6 - Episode 7 - Aired 4/9/2006

Things get personal between Janet and Donna when they both apply for the managers job at the archers.Jonny gives Gaz Corinthian after coming to the conclusion that the baby is his.

Directors: Becky Martin