The BEST episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

Every episode of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps!

The sex-fuelled lives of five late-teens/early twenty-somethings in the northern town of Runcorn. Janet is going out with Jonny, his best friend Gaz has started to date Janet's best friend Donna, and student Louise just wants a job to keep her in cigarettes. There's also Donna's sarcastic mother, Flo, constantly nagging her daughter to take up a 'proper' relationship with a worthy young man. Storylines followed the on-again/off-again relationships of the young protagonists who have lots of sex and meet in pubs.

Last Updated: 5/22/2023Network:BBC Three
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The Aftermath - Part Two: Sliding Gaz
star
8.33
42 votes

#1 - The Aftermath - Part Two: Sliding Gaz

Season 8 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/22/2009

After telling Donna that it is her that he wants to be with, Gaz has sliped into a coma. After praying to God, begging him to let Gaz recover, Donna imagines two parallel lives with Gaz, one where he makes a full recovery and another where he is paralyzed.

Directors: Geoff Posner
Fat
star
8.27
51 votes

#2 - Fat

Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 2/20/2005

Five months after Jonny and Janet got married, Donna and Gaz are still not talking. Donna has moved up in the bucket world, and is on a mission to sell 4,000 buckets in 5 days. While out, she finds out Gaz, who she has not seen for 5 months, has gained weight since they last saw each other. In attempts to get Donna back, Gaz finds an interesting way to loose weight. Meanwhile, Janet fears that her nesting instinct will never kick in, however Louise and a group of ""chavettes"" help her come to her senses...

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Candle
star
7.89
93 votes

#3 - Candle

Season 8 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/15/2009

Janet isn't happy when Gaz arranges a babysitter to look after Corinthian so that they can go out when she turns out to be his ex girlfriend. Janet decides they should stay in for a romantic evening together instead.

Directors: Nick Wood
Gazman
star
7.88
40 votes

#4 - Gazman

Season 8 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/22/2009

Donna returns to Runcorn to visit everyone as she has been missing them. Janet thinks that Donna might be lying about her wonderful new boyfriend called Wesley in London. Louise finds life as a mother tough. Donna asks her boyfriend to come to Runcorn to meet everyone.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Kate Wincup
D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
star
7.77
43 votes

#5 - D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

Season 8 - Episode 5 - Aired 4/19/2009

Donna and Gaz remember the past that they have shared after agreeing to get a divorce. At the end of the day they wonder if the have made the right decision.

Directors: Nick Wood
Keep on Running
star
7.62
45 votes

#6 - Keep on Running

Season 8 - Episode 8 - Aired 5/10/2009

Donna and Janet try to get Gaz to make a decision about who he wants to be with and he ends up deciding to audition both of them. When Gaz finally decides who he wants he heads off to get his girl.

Directors: Nick Wood
Trial Schmile
star
7.52
44 votes

#7 - Trial Schmile

Season 9 - Episode 3 - Aired 5/3/2011

Following the fire, Donna and Gaz find themselves being forced to move into Janet's old place. Donna ends up embracing the fact that she is now possession-free while Gaz plans a big night out. Billy makes plans to make sure that his football career gets off the ground. After he ends up going out with Gaz though things go wrong. Cassie attempts to blackmail Tim into getting her a motorbike

Directors: Nick Wood
You Decide
star
7.50
70 votes

#8 - You Decide

Season 8 - Episode 7 - Aired 5/3/2009

Gaz is torn between the two girls and although he decides to stay with Janet for the sake of Corinthian, when he goes to tell Donna he realises he loves her, too, and can't be without her.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Kate Wincup
Jammy Dodgers
star
7.50
136 votes

#9 - Jammy Dodgers

Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/13/2003

Janet tries to get passionate with Jonny, while Gaz wants Donna to go out so he can get passionate with himself.

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Piggy Goes Oink
star
7.48
58 votes

#10 - Piggy Goes Oink

Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/22/2004

Janet tells Jonny he has to move out of the house, he now has nowhere to go! Until he meets Kate, the barmaid in the pub, and they get very close! Gaz is still not happy with Donna's plans to become a student, so he challenges David to a drinking contest! But Donna is more interested in Louise's book, which brings the girls to tears! So much so, Janet realises she made a big mistake dumping Jonny, and goes to get him back, only to find him and Kate sharing a kiss!

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Cauliflower
star
7.48
52 votes

#11 - Cauliflower

Season 6 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/19/2006

Much to her annoyance Gaz repeatedly proposes to Donna resulting in a very odd selection of favourite romantic things. Louise meets her scoundrel real father who seems to be much more interested in Jonny than in her. Janet is shocked to discover that she is now a kleptomaniac.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Daniel Peak
Love 83199
star
7.48
23 votes

#12 - Love 83199

Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired 3/29/2005

Gaz and Donna decide to go looking for their dream house in the country. Louise uses a mobile phone to find a new boyfriend. Jonny applies for his ideal job, working in a biscuit factory.

Directors: Nick Wood
Homeless and Horny
star
7.47
83 votes

#13 - Homeless and Horny

Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 3/28/2004

Gaz has a problem, his penis, or ""Mr Nudge"" as he calls it, isn't working properly, he's tried everything, from fantasies about Fern Britton to wearing a cock ring! Jonny is struggling with single life, he's got no money to buy a pint! Janet wants him to come home, but he can't, he has his pride! Louise gets carried away in her job at the bakery and sacks everyone, but then finds she's been sacked herself! Jonny is still resisting Janet's pleas to make him come home, until he see's what she's wearing...

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Mate Date
star
7.46
84 votes

#14 - Mate Date

Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/21/2004

Janet has a new boss at the bakery, that turns out to be Louise! But she has a rather different way of doing things! Donna wants Gaz to split Jonny and Kate up, but tells him not to sleep with her, but he ignores this, takes her out on a date, but Donna finds out and stops him from sleeping with her! Kate, however, is furious that Gaz tried to come on to her, and tells Jonny to choose between her or his friends, but its an easy choice for Jonny, and he dumps her!

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Writer: Daniel Peak
Cuggles
star
7.46
83 votes

#15 - Cuggles

Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/7/2004

Jonny and Kate can't get any privacy to have sex, so Gaz lets them use the flat, which is all very well, until Donna gets home! Louise decides she needs to get a job after she graduates, but unfortunately discovers a sociology degree won't get her a much better job than working in Pizza Hut! Gaz is upset that Donna has been neglecting him, but Janet is around to comfort him, but unfortunately things get a little bit out of control...

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Mo Mo and Pigsy
star
7.43
67 votes

#16 - Mo Mo and Pigsy

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 5/20/2002

After all the arguments, Donna is living with Jonny, while Janet is living with Gaz, but nobody really knows where anybody is! Donna suggests that Jonny should go to Andy's to ask where Janet is, but as much as he tries to hide it, it's clear he is too scared, but not scared enough to steal an engagement ring off him and offer it to Janet!

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
The Gaz-Bot
star
7.43
14 votes

#17 - The Gaz-Bot

Season 9 - Episode 4 - Aired 5/10/2011

Donna is looking forward beginning to her new job. Gaz jazzes up his wheelchair and decides that he wants to take part in the Paralympics. Tim begins to wonder what direction his life is going in following his big revelation. Gaz is able to get Billy to ask Cassie out on a date.

Directors: Nick Wood
Crab
star
7.37
52 votes

#18 - Crab

Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 2/13/2005

It's the day of Jonny's and Janet wedding, and they're nowhere to be found! Gaz and Donna rush off looking for them. Gaz thinks he left Jonny tied to a lamp post, but the barmaid took him down. Jonny and Janet are stuck in an Iceland van. They wake up in their wedding outfits, and have no idea why they're there. Meanwhile Gaz and Donna pretend to be Jonny and Janet, so they still can get married. Luckily, the Iceland van ends up at their wedding, and Janet and Jonny finally get married.

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Purgatory
star
7.36
83 votes

#19 - Purgatory

Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/14/2004

Gaz is feeling guilty about sleeping with Janet, but manages to keep it from Donna and doesn't tell her, although Janet, in a moment of guilt herself, can't help blurting it out to her! The two girls forgive each other, although Donna doesn't quite know the whole story! Louise is graduating so Kate suggests they should have a party at Janet's house, but as Jonny pops round earlier to drop something off, Jonny and Janet realise they still miss each other, and they end up kissing...

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Filthy Brunching
star
7.25
105 votes

#20 - Filthy Brunching

Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/4/2004

Janet wants to introduce something a bit more adventurous in to her sex life with Jonny, but Jonny isn't playing along! Gaz is worried what Donna may be getting up too with her tutor, so he storms round to the cafe they're in, and threatens him! He thinks there's a gun in his pocket, turns out, his penis problem has been solved! Louise gets a new job, which puts her in control of Jonny's criminal record, a few alterations are made and the police are after him! They shoot him! Will he live or die? Find out next series!

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
My Delicious Guava
star
7.24
110 votes

#21 - My Delicious Guava

Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 2/29/2004

Janet is still getting over losing Jonny, and Louise wants to move in with her, but a nasty spider gets in the way! Jonny tries to be manly to impress Kate on their first date, but ends up falling off a wall and breaking his foot! Its Gaz's big night, and all his friends have deserted him! Even Donna, who would rather go and watch a play than see him sing! But he has a wild night in The Archer performing Tom Jones songs, but to a very small crowd!

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Writer: Karen Laws
Corinthian Dies
star
7.23
113 votes

#22 - Corinthian Dies

Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/15/2004

Gaz is furious with Donna after he suspects her of cheating on him with David, and even though he forgives her, it makes him none the more happier to discover she wants to go to University with him! Louise tricks David into getting back with her, and then dumps him!! And Jonny finally comes to terms with Janet leaving him!

Directors: Gareth Carrivick
Speedycruise!
star
7.23
79 votes

#23 - Speedycruise!

Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/26/2006

Janet has to decide whether to leave her friends and baby for a life of luxury singing on a cruise. Donna becomes rich after the money from her dead mother's house, comes through and then she has a very weird idea for a new business venture. Louise's mother is in hospital and needs a kidney, but Louise discovers that she cannot be a donor after getting some very upsetting news.

Directors: Becky Martin
Ello Ello
star
7.22
41 votes

#24 - Ello Ello

Season 8 - Episode 4 - Aired 4/5/2009

After becoming a PCSO Janet makes her first arrest. Wesley attempts to fit in with the Runcorn way of life.

Directors: Nick Wood
Writer: Tim Dawson
Kangaroo
star
7.18
88 votes

#25 - Kangaroo

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/9/2003

After a bit of thought and advice from her mum, and Janet, Donna decides that she should try something new with Gaz, but she doesn't realise he's gonna bring Munch home with him! Jonny realises he'll have to ask Janet's dad's permission to marry Janet, and David and Louise don't get off to a very good start in their relationship.

Directors: Gareth Carrivick

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