The BEST episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps
Every episode of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps!
The sex-fuelled lives of five late-teens/early twenty-somethings in the northern town of Runcorn. Janet is going out with Jonny, his best friend Gaz has started to date Janet's best friend Donna, and student Louise just wants a job to keep her in cigarettes. There's also Donna's sarcastic mother, Flo, constantly nagging her daughter to take up a 'proper' relationship with a worthy young man. Storylines followed the on-again/off-again relationships of the young protagonists who have lots of sex and meet in pubs.
#1 - Fat
Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 2/20/2005
Five months after Jonny and Janet got married, Donna and Gaz are still not talking. Donna has moved up in the bucket world, and is on a mission to sell 4,000 buckets in 5 days. While out, she finds out Gaz, who she has not seen for 5 months, has gained weight since they last saw each other. In attempts to get Donna back, Gaz finds an interesting way to loose weight. Meanwhile, Janet fears that her nesting instinct will never kick in, however Louise and a group of ""chavettes"" help her come to her senses...
#2 - Lard
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/26/2001
The lads are winding Janet up with the old one about it being impossible for girls to be as funny as boys. Not one to resist a challenge, Janet trawls through her ‘crack-a-joke' books looking for that killer one-liner Jonny, however doesn't find the fact that he has been fantasizing about Louise quite so funny of course, Gas's advice is to say nothing. Janet is driving everyone mad with her stupid jokes and in a bid to shut her up Gas tells her that Jonny loves Louise. A heartbroken Janet summons a meeting with her friends and lets rip with a torrent of abuse. Unoffended but rather amused by this, the group begin to giggle. Janet is so chuffed at being able to make her friends laugh she forgives them all. Walking home Jonny feebly excuses himself from his Louise fixation by telling Janet that it got her over her joke obsession. Janet gets her revenge by admitting she too has kissed Louise but Jonny takes things that one step too far boasting that he touched Louise's boobs too.
#3 - Piggy Goes Oink
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/22/2004
Janet tells Jonny he has to move out of the house, he now has nowhere to go! Until he meets Kate, the barmaid in the pub, and they get very close! Gaz is still not happy with Donna's plans to become a student, so he challenges David to a drinking contest! But Donna is more interested in Louise's book, which brings the girls to tears! So much so, Janet realises she made a big mistake dumping Jonny, and goes to get him back, only to find him and Kate sharing a kiss!
#4 - Cauliflower
Season 6 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/19/2006
Much to her annoyance Gaz repeatedly proposes to Donna resulting in a very odd selection of favourite romantic things. Louise meets her scoundrel real father who seems to be much more interested in Jonny than in her. Janet is shocked to discover that she is now a kleptomaniac.
#5 - Candle
Season 8 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/15/2009
Janet isn't happy when Gaz arranges a babysitter to look after Corinthian so that they can go out when she turns out to be his ex girlfriend. Janet decides they should stay in for a romantic evening together instead.
#6 - Gazman
Season 8 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/22/2009
Donna returns to Runcorn to visit everyone as she has been missing them. Janet thinks that Donna might be lying about her wonderful new boyfriend called Wesley in London. Louise finds life as a mother tough. Donna asks her boyfriend to come to Runcorn to meet everyone.
#7 - D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
Season 8 - Episode 5 - Aired 4/19/2009
Donna and Gaz remember the past that they have shared after agreeing to get a divorce. At the end of the day they wonder if the have made the right decision.
#8 - Keep on Running
Season 8 - Episode 8 - Aired 5/10/2009
Donna and Janet try to get Gaz to make a decision about who he wants to be with and he ends up deciding to audition both of them. When Gaz finally decides who he wants he heads off to get his girl.
#9 - Trial Schmile
Season 9 - Episode 3 - Aired 5/3/2011
Following the fire, Donna and Gaz find themselves being forced to move into Janet's old place. Donna ends up embracing the fact that she is now possession-free while Gaz plans a big night out. Billy makes plans to make sure that his football career gets off the ground. After he ends up going out with Gaz though things go wrong. Cassie attempts to blackmail Tim into getting her a motorbike
#10 - On the Blob
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 4/15/2002
Donna thinks she's pregnant and Gaz is scared out his wits at the prospect of becoming a father. Meanwhile, Louise is exercising her psychic powers and, following the spirits' career advice, Jonny undertakes a new career involving a black leotard…
#11 - You Decide
Season 8 - Episode 7 - Aired 5/3/2009
Gaz is torn between the two girls and although he decides to stay with Janet for the sake of Corinthian, when he goes to tell Donna he realises he loves her, too, and can't be without her.
#12 - Speedycruise!
Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/26/2006
Janet has to decide whether to leave her friends and baby for a life of luxury singing on a cruise. Donna becomes rich after the money from her dead mother's house, comes through and then she has a very weird idea for a new business venture. Louise's mother is in hospital and needs a kidney, but Louise discovers that she cannot be a donor after getting some very upsetting news.
#13 - Homeless and Horny
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 3/28/2004
Gaz has a problem, his penis, or ""Mr Nudge"" as he calls it, isn't working properly, he's tried everything, from fantasies about Fern Britton to wearing a cock ring! Jonny is struggling with single life, he's got no money to buy a pint! Janet wants him to come home, but he can't, he has his pride! Louise gets carried away in her job at the bakery and sacks everyone, but then finds she's been sacked herself! Jonny is still resisting Janet's pleas to make him come home, until he see's what she's wearing...
#14 - Mate Date
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/21/2004
Janet has a new boss at the bakery, that turns out to be Louise! But she has a rather different way of doing things! Donna wants Gaz to split Jonny and Kate up, but tells him not to sleep with her, but he ignores this, takes her out on a date, but Donna finds out and stops him from sleeping with her! Kate, however, is furious that Gaz tried to come on to her, and tells Jonny to choose between her or his friends, but its an easy choice for Jonny, and he dumps her!
#15 - Purgatory
Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/14/2004
Gaz is feeling guilty about sleeping with Janet, but manages to keep it from Donna and doesn't tell her, although Janet, in a moment of guilt herself, can't help blurting it out to her! The two girls forgive each other, although Donna doesn't quite know the whole story! Louise is graduating so Kate suggests they should have a party at Janet's house, but as Jonny pops round earlier to drop something off, Jonny and Janet realise they still miss each other, and they end up kissing...
#16 - Cuggles
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/7/2004
Jonny and Kate can't get any privacy to have sex, so Gaz lets them use the flat, which is all very well, until Donna gets home! Louise decides she needs to get a job after she graduates, but unfortunately discovers a sociology degree won't get her a much better job than working in Pizza Hut! Gaz is upset that Donna has been neglecting him, but Janet is around to comfort him, but unfortunately things get a little bit out of control...
#17 - Jammy Dodgers
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/13/2003
Janet tries to get passionate with Jonny, while Gaz wants Donna to go out so he can get passionate with himself.
#18 - Dirty Girls
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 4/29/2002
Janet re-discovers a love letter from her gorgeous ex and resorts to deception to prevent Jonny becoming jealous. Flo asks Donna to move out so she can set up a massage parlour in her old room. And, unable to decide how to handle her boyfriend, Louise experiments with gay sex.
#19 - Ugly Babies
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/2/2001
The pitter patter of tiny feet may be just around the corner for Janet and Jonny. Janet turns to Donna and Louise for advice. Louise is her usual tactless self in her reaction, ‘Excellent, I have a single mum friend to show off to my friends at University' while Donna heads to the chemist to buy Janet a pregnancy test. But Janet can't muster up a sample so Donna turns to Flo for hints on possible pregnancy symptoms which, according to Flo, include hot flushes and a passion for Guinness. Jonny has not taken the news about possible fatherhood too well, but several beers down the pub and a talking-to from Louise later he decides that parenthood is perfect for him. When Janet finally has the results from her pregnancy test—Is she or isn't she? And just why is Donna taking such an interest in the whole matter—is there something she needs to tell Gaz?
#20 - Spunk
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/5/2001
Gaz hasn't called Donna in the week since their date, to soften her up for an undemanding relationship. The girls are weighing themselves, and Louise finds she weighs more than she did at 14 for the first time since then, and goes on a diet and exercise regime. Donna gives up waiting for Gaz, and goes round to his pad, where her mother phones to invite him round for a meal and to meet the family, including Donna's very forward sister Katie. On Gaz's advice, Jonny is trying to treat Janet mean, to keep her keen, but then goes missing, so everyone has to drop what they're doing and go searching for him.
#21 - Corinthian Dies
Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 2/15/2004
Gaz is furious with Donna after he suspects her of cheating on him with David, and even though he forgives her, it makes him none the more happier to discover she wants to go to University with him! Louise tricks David into getting back with her, and then dumps him!! And Jonny finally comes to terms with Janet leaving him!
#22 - Filthy Brunching
Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/4/2004
Janet wants to introduce something a bit more adventurous in to her sex life with Jonny, but Jonny isn't playing along! Gaz is worried what Donna may be getting up too with her tutor, so he storms round to the cafe they're in, and threatens him! He thinks there's a gun in his pocket, turns out, his penis problem has been solved! Louise gets a new job, which puts her in control of Jonny's criminal record, a few alterations are made and the police are after him! They shoot him! Will he live or die? Find out next series!
#23 - My Delicious Guava
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 2/29/2004
Janet is still getting over losing Jonny, and Louise wants to move in with her, but a nasty spider gets in the way! Jonny tries to be manly to impress Kate on their first date, but ends up falling off a wall and breaking his foot! Its Gaz's big night, and all his friends have deserted him! Even Donna, who would rather go and watch a play than see him sing! But he has a wild night in The Archer performing Tom Jones songs, but to a very small crowd!
#24 - Bungle
Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 4/22/2002
Jonny wins one thousand pounds on a scratch card and Janet thinks he's gonna buy an engagement ring, but Jonny has other ideas! Gaz & Donna decide to take their relationship a step further by having a conversation, and Louise meets a new boyfriend who is desperate to have sex with her!
#25 - Bone with the Wind
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/12/2001
Donna moves her toothbrush into Gaz's flat, and he reacts badly, thinking it's the first step to moving in completely. Meanwhile, Flo is encouraging Donna to move out of the family home. Louise is getting chatted up by Kev, who, from her description, the other two are convinced is gay - it turns out they are right, and Louise decides to make the best of things by becoming a '˜fag hag'. Janet tries various ways to improve her love life with Jonny, but just makes him suspicious, he thinks that she's been sleeping with a bloke named Pedro, who Gaz made up because he was too drunk to think straight.