The Best Episodes of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps

Last Updated: Nov 29, 2018

The sex-fuelled lives of five late-teens/early twenty-somethings in the northern town of Runcorn. Janet is going out with Jonny, his best friend Gaz has started to date Janet's best friend Donna, and student Louise just wants a job to keep her in cigarettes. There's also Donna's sarcastic mother, Flo, constantly nagging her daughter to take up a 'proper' relationship with a worthy young man. Storylines followed the on-again/off-again relationships of the young protagonists who have lots of sex and meet in pubs.

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

#1 - D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

Season 8 - Episode 5

Donna and Gaz remember the past that they have shared after agreeing to get a divorce. At the end of the day they wonder if the have made the right decision.

star 7.85
13 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Susan Nickson
Gazman

#2 - Gazman

Season 8 - Episode 2

Donna returns to Runcorn to visit everyone as she has been missing them. Janet thinks that Donna might be lying about her wonderful new boyfriend called Wesley in London. Louise finds life as a mother tough. Donna asks her boyfriend to come to Runcorn to meet everyone.

star 7.85
13 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Kate Wincup
Fat

#3 - Fat

Season 5 - Episode 8

Five months after Jonny and Janet got married, Donna and Gaz are still not talking. Donna has moved up in the bucket world, and is on a mission to sell 4,000 buckets in 5 days. While out, she finds out Gaz, who she has not seen for 5 months, has gained weight since they last saw each other. In attempts to get Donna back, Gaz finds an interesting way to loose weight. Meanwhile, Janet fears that her nesting instinct will never kick in, however Louise and a group of ""chavettes"" help her come to her senses...

star 7.83
23 votes
Writers: Ariane Sherine
Mo Mo and Pigsy

#4 - Mo Mo and Pigsy

Season 2 - Episode 6

After all the arguments, Donna is living with Jonny, while Janet is living with Gaz, but nobody really knows where anybody is! Donna suggests that Jonny should go to Andy's to ask where Janet is, but as much as he tries to hide it, it's clear he is too scared, but not scared enough to steal an engagement ring off him and offer it to Janet!

star 7.80
35 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Candle

#5 - Candle

Season 8 - Episode 1

Janet isn't happy when Gaz arranges a babysitter to look after Corinthian so that they can go out when she turns out to be his ex girlfriend. Janet decides they should stay in for a romantic evening together instead.

star 7.71
17 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Susan Nickson
Love 83199

#6 - Love 83199

Season 5 - Episode 13

Gaz and Donna decide to go looking for their dream house in the country. Louise uses a mobile phone to find a new boyfriend. Jonny applies for his ideal job, working in a biscuit factory.

star 7.71
17 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Susan Nickson
Crab

#7 - Crab

Season 5 - Episode 7

It's the day of Jonny's and Janet wedding, and they're nowhere to be found! Gaz and Donna rush off looking for them. Gaz thinks he left Jonny tied to a lamp post, but the barmaid took him down. Jonny and Janet are stuck in an Iceland van. They wake up in their wedding outfits, and have no idea why they're there. Meanwhile Gaz and Donna pretend to be Jonny and Janet, so they still can get married. Luckily, the Iceland van ends up at their wedding, and Janet and Jonny finally get married.

star 7.70
23 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Ello Ello

#8 - Ello Ello

Season 8 - Episode 4

After becoming a PCSO Janet makes her first arrest. Wesley attempts to fit in with the Runcorn way of life.

star 7.67
9 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Tim Dawson
Bone with the Wind

#9 - Bone with the Wind

Season 1 - Episode 3

Donna moves her toothbrush into Gaz's flat, and he reacts badly, thinking it's the first step to moving in completely. Meanwhile, Flo is encouraging Donna to move out of the family home. Louise is getting chatted up by Kev, who, from her description, the other two are convinced is gay - it turns out they are right, and Louise decides to make the best of things by becoming a ‘fag hag'. Janet tries various ways to improve her love life with Jonny, but just makes him suspicious, he thinks that she's been sleeping with a bloke named Pedro, who Gaz made up because he was too drunk to think straight.

star 7.58
59 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
When Jonny Met Sharky

#10 - When Jonny Met Sharky

Season 7 - Episode 1

After the Archer reopens following a refurbishment, all the girls decide to apply for the new barmaid's job. Jonny leaves for Hawaii to go shark-jumping, after winning a competition, leaving Gaz to try and find something more exciting to do.

star 7.57
23 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Susan Nickson
Who's The Daddy?

#11 - Who's The Daddy?

Season 5 - Episode 10

In the last episode Gaz just got ran over by the ambulance which was going to Janets house. While Janet is in labour, she can't find jonny! Jonny then see's Gaz being put in the ambalance, and when Jonny see's Gaz, Gaz tells him to look after the baby as if it was he's! Jonny is stuned to find out that Gaz is the father. Meanwhile Louise has to bring Janet to the hospital and Jonny meets Janet there. First he hated the baby and Janet, but after spending some time with them he changes his mind. And at the end Gaz and Donna finally got back togther.

star 7.57
23 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
You Decide

#12 - You Decide

Season 8 - Episode 7

Gaz is torn between the two girls and although he decides to stay with Janet for the sake of Corinthian, when he goes to tell Donna he realises he loves her, too, and can't be without her.

star 7.54
13 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Kate Wincup
Fags, Shags and Kebabs

#13 - Fags, Shags and Kebabs

Season 1 - Episode 1

In Runcorn there are two nearby pubs: the Mayhew where friends Janet, Donna, & Louise drink; and the Archer, where friends Jonny & Gaz drink. When Donna mentions to Janet that she's looking for a boyfriend, Janet gets her boyfriend Jonny to persuade Gaz to go on a blind date. Despite the misgivings of Donna and her mother Flo, the date in the Mayhew goes well, even after the attentions of Louise who has got a job there as a barmaid, and Jonny, who tries to put a spoke in the wheel of what he sees as a future of joint couple dates. Donna accompanies Gaz back to his bedsit, but her passion is cooled on discovering what he has stacked in his cupboard.

star 7.54
84 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Dump

#14 - Dump

Season 3 - Episode 9

Gaz gives Munch lessons in handling women, Jonny shows Donna how to get what she wants for freem while Louise gets an annoying social conscience.

star 7.52
25 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Keep on Running

#15 - Keep on Running

Season 8 - Episode 8

Donna and Janet try to get Gaz to make a decision about who he wants to be with and he ends up deciding to audition both of them. When Gaz finally decides who he wants he heads off to get his girl.

star 7.50
16 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: Susan Nickson
The Gaz-Bot

#16 - The Gaz-Bot

Season 9 - Episode 4

Donna is looking forward beginning to her new job. Gaz jazzes up his wheelchair and decides that he wants to take part in the Paralympics. Tim begins to wonder what direction his life is going in following his big revelation. Gaz is able to get Billy to ask Cassie out on a date.

star 7.50
8 votes
Directors: Nick Wood
Writers: David Cantor, Robin Taylor
Dirty Girls

#17 - Dirty Girls

Season 2 - Episode 3

Janet re-discovers a love letter from her gorgeous ex and resorts to deception to prevent Jonny becoming jealous. Flo asks Donna to move out so she can set up a massage parlour in her old room. And, unable to decide how to handle her boyfriend, Louise experiments with gay sex.

star 7.50
34 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Near, Far

#18 - Near, Far

Season 5 - Episode 14

In the last episode, Jonny was hoping to get the job at the biscuit factory and Gaz and Donna were hoping to get a house in the country side. Meanwhile Janet got offered a job on a cruise ship singing. There are high sprits going on in group as their all starting new lives. Unfortunately Jonny didn't get the job, there were sheep everywhere around Gaz and Donna's new house. And also Janet didn't know wether to take the job or not because she would have to leave the next day.

star 7.50
18 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Crusty Curtains

#19 - Crusty Curtains

Season 2 - Episode 5

Donna has moved in with Gaz, but it doesn't take long for Donna to walk out on him! Jonny has found out about Janet snogging Andy and he is furious with her. Gaz suggests he should use this situation for his own benefit, so the worse he makes Janet feel, the more she'll do for him, but Jonny's attitude upsets Janet and she walks out, leaving Jonny very hungry!

star 7.49
35 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Beastiality

#20 - Beastiality

Season 3 - Episode 4

Louise is furious when she finds out that Donna once slept with David, but Donna's still the one who does the fighting! Janet decides that she and Jonny will have to get married without her parents permission, and Gaz has had enough of Munch!

star 7.48
33 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Hospikal

#21 - Hospikal

Season 3 - Episode 5

Jonny goes to see Janet's dad to beg for his permission for their wedding, and discovers he has a secret, but its a bit of a different secret to the one he tells Janet! Munch finds Gaz unconscious in the garage, so he calls an ambulance, only to find out that he'd only got drunk, so there's definetly nothing wrong with him! Donna tricks Louise into forgiving her.

star 7.47
32 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Homeless and Horny

#22 - Homeless and Horny

Season 4 - Episode 7

Gaz has a problem, his penis, or ""Mr Nudge"" as he calls it, isn't working properly, he's tried everything, from fantasies about Fern Britton to wearing a cock ring! Jonny is struggling with single life, he's got no money to buy a pint! Janet wants him to come home, but he can't, he has his pride! Louise gets carried away in her job at the bakery and sacks everyone, but then finds she's been sacked herself! Jonny is still resisting Janet's pleas to make him come home, until he see's what she's wearing...

star 7.46
26 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
Fish

#23 - Fish

Season 3 - Episode 2

Gaz and Donna haven't had sex for a few days, and Donna gets a nasty shock when she comes home and see's what Gaz has done to himself! Jonny wants Janet to quit smoking to save a bit of money for their wedding, but Janet finds it hard. Louise finds she has a secret admirer.

star 7.44
34 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson
The Aftermath - Part Two: Sliding Gaz

#24 - The Aftermath - Part Two: Sliding Gaz

Season 8 - Episode 10

After telling Donna that it is her that he wants to be with, Gaz has sliped into a coma. After praying to God, begging him to let Gaz recover, Donna imagines two parallel lives with Gaz, one where he makes a full recovery and another where he is paralyzed.

star 7.42
12 votes
Directors: Geoff Posner
Writers: Susan Nickson
Jammy Dodgers

#25 - Jammy Dodgers

Season 3 - Episode 8

Janet tries to get passionate with Jonny, while Gaz wants Donna to go out so he can get passionate with himself.

star 7.41
29 votes
Writers: Susan Nickson