The BEST Episodes of My Wife and Kids

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Dec 21, 2019

Network: ABC (US)

Michael Kyle longs for a traditional life, but his day-trader wife Janet, gangsta rap-worshipping son Michael Jr., and brooding daughters Claire and Kady make his dream just that ... a dream.

Let Them Eat Pie

#1 - Let Them Eat Pie

Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired Nov 7, 2001

Claire, playing a dare game with Jr. and Kady, eats Michael's piece of pie. Michael's punishment: Let them eat pie (and only pie). Meanwhile, Michael offers to be the dieting Jay's ""chubby buddy"": He'll eat the same lo-cal food she does. Of course, he doesn't tell her that he plans to cheat. (TV Guide)

star 8.62
169 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Janis Hirsch
Papa Said Knock You Out

#2 - Papa Said Knock You Out

Season 2 - Episode 20 - Aired Feb 27, 2002

Michael freaks out when he spots a gray hair, but not on his head. He feels he's getting too old, and decides to practice boxing again to get in shape. He even teaches Jr. some tricks and some punches, until Jr. knocks Michael out, giving him a black eye. Meanwhile, Claire is ready to go on her first date with Tony, and Jr. mishears their conversation and thinks they're having sex. He decides to defend his sister and confronts Tony, who gives him a black eye. But it all turns out fine after the situation is cleared.

star 8.60
116 votes
Directors: Wil Shriner
Writers: Damien Wayans
The Baby (2)

#3 - The Baby (2)

Season 4 - Episode 30 - Aired May 26, 2004

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.

star 8.57
79 votes
Failure to Communicate

#4 - Failure to Communicate

Season 2 - Episode 19 - Aired Feb 22, 2002

Michael's parents come to visit him, but Michael is worried about the way they treat each other and how that is reflecting on his own children. After a disastrous attempt to fix things, Michael and Jay finally decide to let things the way they were. Meanwhile, Jay and Michael worry about Jr.'s rush to have sex and his new girlfriend. Note: This episode was originally intended to air in season one, but for unknown reasons, ABC pulled back to season 2 Episode 19. Which is why Jazz Raycole portrays Claire, making this episode her very final appearance in the series .

star 8.49
114 votes
Writers: Damon Wayans, Don Reo
Romantic Night

#5 - Romantic Night

Season 4 - Episode 24 - Aired Apr 21, 2004

Wanting to spend quiet time together, Michael plans a romantic evening with Jay at an exclusive hotel. Then, when Jr. mistakenly cancels the reservation, Michael tries to create a romantic night at home. But things take a disastrous turn when Michael hurts his head trying to shut off the water valve, Jay handcuffs them to each other – but can't find the key – and a burnt roast almost causes the house to burn down.

star 8.43
87 votes
Directors: Dean Lorey
Writers: Dean Lorey
Michael's Garden

#6 - Michael's Garden

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Oct 31, 2001

Lou Rawls guest stars in an episode that takes a lighthearted but informative look at a serious problem: colon cancer. It's especially acute among African-Americans over 40—and guess who's 40? Not only that, but Michael has been having bathroom problems. Still, he won't go to the doctor. ""What is it with men?"" Janet fumes. ""You take better care of your cars than you do of your bodies."" That doesn't change his mind, but the thought of not being there for his kids does, so he has a colonoscopy. But first he gets a preview of the procedure in his dreams. That's where Rawls—as a singing doctor—comes in. (TV Guide)

star 8.36
162 votes
Directors: Jim Valelly
Writers: Janis Hirsch
Return of the Wall

#7 - Return of the Wall

Season 2 - Episode 21 - Aired Mar 4, 2002

Jay is coaching Kady's soccer team. The girls complain it's not any fun and Michael tries talking to Jay about it. He ends up taking over coaching the team and promising to make it fun for the girls. Jay doubts all that fun will lead to any win and just waits for vengeance. When Michael's team loses, the girls are offbeat about it and Jay breaks the news that she's been asked to coach another team, and they'll be playing Michael's on Saturday. Jay's team wins, but at least Kady gets to score her first goal. Jay decides to retire from coaching after her win – but not without enjoying her win over Michael.

star 8.35
114 votes
Directors: Andy Cadiff
Writers: Jim Vallely
Jr's Risky Business (1)

#8 - Jr's Risky Business (1)

Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired Feb 5, 2003

As a very impressed Michael sees it, his son's girlfriend, Vanessa is an absolute prize: ""She's beautiful, smart, personable and polite... you guys have nothing in common,"" he tells Jr. But there's something about her that rubs Jay the wrong way. Elsewhere in the courtship department, Kady's similarly smart and personable gentleman caller is a budding piano prodigy named Franklin. As for Claire, all she's courting is a severe case of nerves: the PSATs are coming up and her face has broken out in hives.

star 8.34
111 votes
Directors: Damien Wayans
Writers: Rodney Barnes
Make Over

#9 - Make Over

Season 2 - Episode 25 - Aired May 1, 2002

Jay and Michael are grocery shopping when they run into Susan Green, former cheerleader from their highschool. Susan is in great shape, which makes Jay feel ugly and inadequate like she did back in high school. Jay feels depressed and Claire talks her into getting a makeover to boost her self-esteem. Meanwhile, Junior gets himself locked in a girl's locker after a misfortunate attempt to steal her bra.

star 8.32
133 votes
Writers: Dean Lorey
Jr's Risky Business (2)

#10 - Jr's Risky Business (2)

Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired Feb 12, 2003

After walking in on Jr. and his girlfriend having sex on his bed, Michael decides that he and Junior can no longer live under the same roof and throws his son out. Feeling sympathetic for her baby, Jay opposes to Michael's attitude, but at the same time agrees the boy needs a severe punishment. She had Jr. stay on a tent in the backyard until she can cool things down with Michael, who only realizes he might be estranging his son for good after Vanessa has a woman-to-woman talk with Jay. Michael lets Jr. move back, remembering that he once was in the same position as Jr.

star 8.32
96 votes
Table for Too Many (2)

#11 - Table for Too Many (2)

Season 2 - Episode 17 - Aired Feb 6, 2002

Michael, who dislikes going out to dinner because it's always an overpriced ordeal, allows Janet to convince him to take the family to a Japanese restaurant. Once there, he feels like he's being ripped off at every turn, and things go from bad to worse after the Kyles are seated with the incredibly annoying Parker family.

star 8.31
138 votes
Writers: Buddy Johnson
Graduation (2)

#12 - Graduation (2)

Season 3 - Episode 27 - Aired May 21, 2003

Junior finally graduates, and his parents give him a trip to Japan as a gift – and as a way to separate Junior and Vanessa, who are planning on moving in together and getting married as soon as they start college. Both Kady and Clare admit their sadness on Junior leaving, and Michael and Jay feel proud of having raised a semi-successful child. They go out to relive some of their memories and when they come back late at night they find Junior and Vanessa sitting in the kitchen. He's decided not to go to Japan anymore. Vanessa is pregnant.

star 8.28
97 votes
Writers: Don Reo
Quality Time

#13 - Quality Time

Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired Jan 16, 2002

Janet is annoyed with Michael who feels that, after spending time with her, he's entitled to time alone — an opinion shared by the marriage counselors they end up seeing, much to Janet's further frustration. Meanwhile, Jr. wonders why Claire suddenly wants to hang out with him and his friends. (ABC)

star 8.26
151 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Alyson Fouse
The Whole World is Watching

#14 - The Whole World is Watching

Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired Nov 21, 2001

Jay buys Jr. computer appliances (including a 24-hour broadcast webcam), and Michael protests saying he'll only use it for porno instead of studying. They start to fight over who's in charge, and make up on Jr.'s room, unaware that they're being seen through Jr.'s website by the entire world. The next day, Jr. discovers what his parents did, and seeing the unlimited reach of the internet, Michael decides to use it for promoting his business.

star 8.26
168 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Don Reo
Thru Thick and Thin

#15 - Thru Thick and Thin

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired Oct 17, 2001

Janet returns home from taking care of her mom's injury, and she's put on a few pounds after eating mom's home cooking. Michael doesn't know how to ""diplomatically"" tell his wife that she's packing a little bit extra. The episode builds to a dream sequence, in which Janet imagines that the entire family is tremendously overweight.

star 8.25
162 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Alyson Fouse
Working Relationship

#16 - Working Relationship

Season 2 - Episode 22 - Aired Mar 20, 2002

Jay's feeling bored ever since she was fired. She can't think of anything else to do around the house, and won't let Michael watch the Jordan game until he hires her as the new accountant at his firm. What comes as a great idea for Jay turns out to be a nightmare for Michael, because Jay wants to turn his morning ritual into running errands; takes over his office and gives the employees way more breaks than they should get. Cornered, Michael goes to Jr. for advice, who tells his father he should just fire Jay. When he does, Jay is extremely hurt. After a deep talk, they decide Jay can continue to work side-by-side with Michael, but not as intrusive as before. Meanwhile, Claire tries to show Kady that E.T. is not so scary.

star 8.25
115 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Janis Hirsch
Get Out

#17 - Get Out

Season 2 - Episode 14 - Aired Jan 23, 2002

Michael is on a mission — to get his notoriously late family dressed and ready to go to a wedding in 15 minutes, but everybody has some sort of problem that keeps them from getting fully ready. First it's Jay, who insists on having Michael's opinion on her outfit (so she can pick the exact opposite) and has a problem with his clapping. Then there's and Claire, who picked a not-so-formal dress. On top of that there's Kady, who decided to eat chocolate pudding and ruined her clothes. When they are finally ready to go, Kady has a bathroom urge, and the entire family goes back to the house. Finally, Jr. has a heart-to-heart talk with his dad about his mean jokes to him and they leave, missing a phone call from Michael's aunt saying the wedding is cancelled.

star 8.25
96 votes
Directors: James Widdoes
Writers: Dean Lorey
Careful What You Wish For

#18 - Careful What You Wish For

Season 5 - Episode 11 - Aired Jan 11, 2005

When Jay wishes that Michael would give her the kind of romantic attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., Michael decides to kill Jay with kindness so he can get back to watching TV and ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin tells Kady that he thinks he's too short and goes to great lengths to appear otherwise.

star 8.24
83 votes
Claire's Permit

#19 - Claire's Permit

Season 3 - Episode 21 - Aired Mar 26, 2003

Claire has taken her driving permit, but Michael won't lend her the car because he doesn't think she can drive very well. Nevertheless, Claire steals the car keys thinking if she goes out really quick while her parents are gone they will never notice. Unfortunately, she drives by them on her way to meet her friends, and Michael decides to teach her a lesson on the Michael Kyle style: stealing the car and making Clare feel guilty about it. She goes to Junior for help, and they call the police reporting the stolen car. Michael ends up in jail due to the mixup, but he and Clare end up getting along after everything is cleared up.

star 8.22
90 votes
Directors: Andy Cadiff
Writers: Bill Vallely
Graduation Day

#20 - Graduation Day

Season 5 - Episode 23 - Aired Apr 26, 2005

It's Jay's college graduation day and Michael is determined to make it go flawlessly - but everything that could go wrong does, and the day seems destined for disaster. To make matters worse, Jay thinks Michael, who didn't want her to go to college in the first place, is trying to sabotage her special day.

star 8.22
46 votes
Directors: Craig Wayans
Writers: Aeysha Carr
Anniversary (1)

#21 - Anniversary (1)

Season 2 - Episode 28 - Aired May 22, 2002

Michael and Janet's 15th anniversary is approaching. Jay's girlfriend Wanda brings her Brian McKnight's tickets (a concert Jay was really looking forward to see), but unfortunately she has to turn it down because it's on the same night as their anniversary. Wanda says Michael will forget about it, but Jay refuses to believe in that and even has the kids spy on him to find out if he's secretly planning something.

star 8.21
122 votes
Directors: Will Mackenzie
Writers: Kim Wayans
He's Having a Baby

#22 - He's Having a Baby

Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired Oct 22, 2003

Worried about Junior's fathering skills, Michael decides to enroll him in a parenting course. Junior is reluctant to attend, so Michael gives him a water balloon that Junior should keep for a week as if it was the baby. If it breaks, he'll have to attend the course. Michael doesn't let Junior have it easy, and Junior insists that more than wanting to teach him how to be a good parent, Michael doesn't have any trust in him.

star 8.21
101 votes
Directors: Damien Wayans
Writers: Aeysha Carr
Michael Joins a Gym

#23 - Michael Joins a Gym

Season 5 - Episode 19 - Aired Mar 8, 2005

The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.

star 8.19
67 votes
Writers: Kevin Knotts, Kim Wayans
No Rules

#24 - No Rules

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 3, 2001

The kids are chafing at Michael's household rules, so he drops them all. He also stops doing anything for them. That means they must cook their own meals and get themselves to school. It also means that Jr. may eat in his room---and live with the ants the food attracts. And it means that Claire may talk on the telephone as long as she likes, as long as she uses the pay phone Michael has installed. (TV Guide)

star 8.19
208 votes
The Baby (1)

#25 - The Baby (1)

Season 4 - Episode 29 - Aired May 26, 2004

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to have the baby at home with the help of Summer Breeze, a midwife whose natural childbirth methods include the whole family's participation.

star 8.17
83 votes