The WORST episodes of My Wife and Kids
Every episode of My Wife and Kids ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of My Wife and Kids!
Michael Kyle longs for a traditional life, but his day-trader wife Janet, gangsta rap-worshipping son Michael Jr., and brooding daughters Claire and Kady make his dream just that ... a dream.
#1 - The 'V' Story
Season 5 - Episode 26 - Aired 5/17/2005
Now that the kids are almost out of their hair, Jay insists that Michael have a vasectomy so they can feel free to enjoy themselves, but Michael is reluctant to go through with the operation.
#2 - The Fellowship of the Baby
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/12/2004
When an overwhelmed Jr. thinks he is not smart enough to take care of his own son, Michael tells Jr. that ""Jr., Jr."" is a ""magic baby,"" and that every time he holds him, it will make Jr. smarter. The ploy works, but in the process Jr. becomes somewhat arrogant with his new-found knowledge, so Michael brings Franklin in so that the two geniuses can match wits. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking back into her bedroom after hours and threatens to tell their parents, unless Claire does some favors for her.
#3 - Pokerface
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/19/2004
Michael advises Jr. that it's ok to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice misfires when Jr. invites Jay along to their all-male poker game. Michael decides, in turn, to crash Jay's all-female book club, where they're discussing the latest book by Angeline Boudreaux.
#4 - The Proposal
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/9/2004
Jr. is finally ready to propose to Vanessa, but every time he tries to do so, something interrupts him, including Michael and Jay -- who are preparing to compete against each other in a karaoke competition.
#5 - Restaurant Wars
Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/16/2004
At first, Michael is skeptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when the Hoos, the owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, use sneaky tactics to put ""Jay's Soooooouuuul Kitchen"" out of business.
#6 - The Return of Bobby Shaw
Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/23/2004
Micheal's enemy, Bobby Shaw tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave. When Micheal tries to get him out of the contract,they end up in a dance off.
#7 - The Wedding
Season 5 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/30/2004
Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to get married in two weeks, Vanessa having told Jr. that she wants a small, simple wedding. Michael and Jay offer to help plan it, but instead of something simple and sweet, they plan an elaborate and expensive ceremony that includes dolphins, a castle and 751 guests. Frustrated, Vanessa tells Jr. he needs to regain control of things, forcing him to decide whether he should stand up to Michael.
#8 - Study Buddy
Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired 1/25/2005
Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final. He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. To make it up to her, he tries to bribe her professor to let her re-take the test. Meanwhile, when Kady thinks Franklin prefers her smart friend over her, she tries to act more ""brainy.""
#9 - Sweetheart's Day
Season 5 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/1/2005
When Jay insists that Michael buy her a present for ""Sweetheart's Day,"" a reluctant Michael comes up with a scheme to base the price of Jay's gift on her attitude towards him at a particular moment. He shares his plan with Jr., Tony and Franklin, hoping that they will follow the lead, but the only lead is straight to trouble.
#10 - Silence is Golden
Season 5 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/8/2005
Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.
#11 - The Bahamas (2)
Season 5 - Episode 17 - Aired 2/22/2005
While at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for a family vacation, lovebirds Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on the isolated Magic Island - along with a rapidly rising tide -- and the only other person there who can help them is Michael's talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier) -- who refuses to do so since they weren't willing to spend time with him when they had the chance. Meanwhile, Jr. leaves Vanessa and the baby behind so he can enjoy the resort's activities; Tony and Claire hang out at the beach bar and she realizes too late that her island drink contains alcohol; and Kady and Franklin run into his nemesis, Francesco Mumfordi, who has stolen one of Franklin's theories.
#12 - The Remodel
Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 3/1/2005
Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodeled. When the contractor bids are too expensive for his taste, Michael decides to take on the job himself, with Jr.'s help. But when they get in over their heads, Franklin -- who happens to be a certified contractor - has to come to their rescue.
#13 - Jr.'s Cartoon
Season 5 - Episode 21 - Aired 3/29/2005
When Jr. wins a national competition for his cartoon entitled ""My Wife and Kid"" -- based on himself, Vanessa, the baby and the rest of the Kyle family -- it catches the attention of ABC. Michael becomes Jr.'s agent, but the meeting with the television executives goes badly, crushing Jr.'s dream opportunity, so now Michael has to find a way to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony unless he can bring some ""umph"" into their relationship.
#14 - Michael's Sandwich
Season 5 - Episode 22 - Aired 4/12/2005
Under a time deadline to catch his flight, Michael tries to prepare his signature, masterpiece sandwich to take with him on the plane. But various family distractions delay his getting to the airport, and his beloved sandwich is searched by suspicious security guards.
#15 - Graduation Day
Season 5 - Episode 23 - Aired 4/26/2005
It's Jay's college graduation day and Michael is determined to make it go flawlessly - but everything that could go wrong does, and the day seems destined for disaster. To make matters worse, Jay thinks Michael, who didn't want her to go to college in the first place, is trying to sabotage her special day.
#16 - Michael Sells the Business
Season 5 - Episode 24 - Aired 5/3/2005
With a lucrative bid from a large company offering to purchase Kyle Trucking, Michael convinces Jay that, if they sold their business, they'd be able to spend more quality time with Jr., Jr. and watch him grow up -- something they wish they could have done more of with their own kids. But the offer goes bust and Michael's nemesis, Bobby Shaw (Katt Williams), comes up with a surprising proposal. Meanwhile, Kady and Claire antagonize each other over who gets to spend more time in the bathroom.
#17 - R.V. Dreams
Season 5 - Episode 25 - Aired 5/10/2005
Michael, who is determined to make record time driving from Connecticut to the Grand Canyon in a luxurious R.V., convinces his reluctant family to make the road trip so they can spend quality time together. Along the way, Michael puts the family through many misadventures -- including getting lost -- and in his haste neglects to read one of the R.V. manual's most crucial operational features.
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#18 - The Bahamas (1)
Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 2/15/2005
When the Kyles arrive at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for their family vacation, Michael announces that all he wants to do is get some rest and relaxation-by himself. But no sooner does he settle into his lounge chair for some peace and quiet than his talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier), shows up and insists that they spend time together. Michael is relieved to find a way out when Jay invites him to the isolated Magic Island so they can have some romantic fun. As their day winds down and it's time to leave, the boat never shows up to take them back and the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere.
#19 - Celibacy
Season 5 - Episode 20 - Aired 3/15/2005
When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.
#20 - The Sweet Hairafter
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/24/2003
Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some ""miracle"" pills called ""Come Hair Now"". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He's jealous of his hair and won't let anyone touch it. He also starts to get paranoiac that Jay is trying to kill him after they make a life insurance, but turns out it was just one of the side effects of the pill. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.
#21 - Class Reunion
Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/5/2004
Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.
#22 - The Funeral
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/2003
The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his ""Grammy"" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.
#23 - Open Your Heart
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/11/2002
Jay decides to attend a ""Open Your Heart"" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. Her excuse is ""prevention"", but Michael warns her not to try fixing something that isn't broken. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. It takes Kady suffering an accident at school for them to realize how important communication between them really is. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business selling monkeyfish like he. Jr., instead of the monkeyfish, decides to get 100% refunds on the clothes Claire buys with a 40% discount at the store she's working. When Jr. gets caught, Claire gets fired and Michael punishes him by making he wear the clothes he wanted refund.
#24 - Marathon
Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/12/2003
When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he can run the marathon as well - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress "ugly" so he won't feel so turned on.
#25 - Michael's Tribe
Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/18/2002
Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and ""the new Tony"" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a ""rave.""