The WORST episodes of My Wife and Kids

#1 - Empty Nest (2)

Season 4 - Episode 21 - Aired 3/3/2004

#2 - The Funeral

Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/2003

The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his ""Grammy"" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.

#3 - The Sweet Hairafter

Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/24/2003

Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some ""miracle"" pills called ""Come Hair Now"". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He's jealous of his hair and won't let anyone touch it. He also starts to get paranoiac that Jay is trying to kill him after they make a life insurance, but turns out it was just one of the side effects of the pill. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.

#4 - Class Reunion

Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/5/2004

Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.

#5 - Empty Nest (1)

Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 3/3/2004

During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.

#6 - Learning to Earn It

Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/12/2001

Michael decides to teach the kids how to handle money due to their inability of spending the allowance money wisely. He proposes that each kid comes up with their own business, and at the end of the week he'll double whatever profit they made. After a slow start selling ""lemon aids"", Kady discovers that garage sales are a very profitable business – especially when you're selling perfectly good appliances for very cheap prices. Claire starts her very own beauty salon, using Jay's expensive hair care products and the good towels. And Jr. chooses gambling to make money, something Michael devotes his full attention to prove being wrong – especially after losing his 3,000 dollars golf clubs to Jr. on blackjack – by buying a slot machine and making Jr. lose all the money he made.

#7 - Calvin Comes to Stay

Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 3/10/2004

Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.

#8 - He Said, She Said

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/18/2001

Jay wants Michael to quit watching TV and spend a little more time with the family - something that apparently only she wants. But Michael insists on watching a basketball game. When Jay talks to him, he doesn't pay any attention, and later tries to find out what she told him. Then he tells her something, but Jay's too busy talking to one of her girlfriends on the phone, so she doesn't listen either. When the evening comes and they are ready to go out for dinner, Jay apologizes for not paying any attention and they decide to leave the kids alone. But will they pay any attention to their parents?

#9 - Michael's Band

Season 4 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/26/2003

When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny ""Saxophone"" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have gotten rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.

#10 - Pilot

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/28/2001

Michael Kyle (Damon Wayans) quests for a traditional family.

#11 - Claire's New Boyfriend

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/23/2002

After Michael admits liking Claire's boyfriend, Tony, she dumps him. The poor kid is devastated, and since Michael likes him so much he decides he's going to help Tony win Claire back – specially after seeing her new boyfriend, Jason (or ""1040 EZ"" as he likes to call himself). The results aren't good, so Michael has a heart-to-heart with Claire. He explains to her that Jason isn't good to her, and any men who are with her should treat her like the princess she is. Since the talk doesn't show any results either, Michael decides to act like he likes Jason and see if that makes Claire dislike him. Luckily, Claire comes back to her senses and gets back together with Tony. Meanwhile, Jay refuses to admit she looks like Jr.'s drawing of her. Instead, she believes she looks more like Halle Berry.

#12 - What Do You Know?

Season 4 - Episode 28 - Aired 5/19/2004

The family plays a game which shows them exactly how much they know about each other.

#13 - Calvin Goes to Work

Season 4 - Episode 23 - Aired 3/31/2004

When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.

#14 - Jury Duty

Season 3 - Episode 19 - Aired 2/26/2003

Michael and Jay are asked to serve jury duty together. Michael's elected foreman and wants to move on the trial quickly so he can get home to watch the ""Godfather"" marathon on TV. But Jay won't vote in guilty because she thinks there has to be a debate first. Thanks to that, Michael ends up missing the marathon, and has to rent the videos to catch up with the movie. At the video store, he meets an insurance salesman whom he mistakes for a mobster, and is convinced that the mob is after him due to the case. The case ends up being dismissed before they can vote, and Jay is disappointed that Michael wouldn't back her up but has her revenge when Michael acts like a fool.

#15 - Marathon

Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/12/2003

When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he can run the marathon as well - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress "ugly" so he won't feel so turned on.

#16 - Sister Story

Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/13/2002

Michael's sister Kelly is coming over for the weekend, which freaks Jay out because every time Kelly comes over she overstays her welcome and always gets on Jay's nerves. This time is no different, with Kelly constantly throwing on Jay's face that she is fatter than her, a worse cook than her and even tries to make her look like a bad singer, even though Jay can sing wonderfully. Things heat up when Kelly brings up Sharon, Michael's old girlfriend and Kelly's best friend. The two women get into an argument and it's up to Michael to break them up. He pulls it, and Kelly and Jay finally get along. But for how long?

#17 - Celibacy

Season 5 - Episode 20 - Aired 3/15/2005

When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.

#18 - Jay the Artist

Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/27/2002

Feeling that she has no space and time of her own due to home duties, Jay decides to paint. The result is a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, which makes Michael feel a little bit ""diminished"". They start an argument over it, which ends on Michael finally agreeing on letting Jay show her work at a friend's art gallery – with a ""big"" change, that is. Meanwhile, Michael renews acquaintances with old buddy Steve, while the kids are encouraged to develop their artistic abilities aswell. Claire designs clothes, Kady plays the piano and Junior writes some bizarre poetry

#19 - The Truth Hurts

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/28/2001

Michael suspects the family is less than truthful about certain matters.

#20 - Open Your Heart

Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/11/2002

Jay decides to attend a ""Open Your Heart"" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. Her excuse is ""prevention"", but Michael warns her not to try fixing something that isn't broken. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. It takes Kady suffering an accident at school for them to realize how important communication between them really is. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business selling monkeyfish like he. Jr., instead of the monkeyfish, decides to get 100% refunds on the clothes Claire buys with a 40% discount at the store she's working. When Jr. gets caught, Claire gets fired and Michael punishes him by making he wear the clothes he wanted refund.

#21 - Diary of a Mad Teen

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/16/2002

While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and is quite shocked to learn that her daughter is thinking about taking the next step with Tony. She has a heart-to-heart talk with Claire, about the consequences of pursuing hr hormonal desires. Meanwhile, Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight (doesn't matter than he can't even read the paper without squishing his eyes). He decides to have Jr. drive him there so he can test his driving abilities for an upcoming date with a girl. When he comes out of the doctor's office, Jr. is gone, and Michael tells him that he disappointed him big time, and if he can't trust Jr. to be there for his family, then he might want to consider moving out. And all Kady wants to do is play hide-and-seek.

#22 - Samba Story

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/9/2002

Tired of the same dinner-and-a-movie routine, Jay convinces Michael to take dancing lessons to spice up their relationship. At first reluctant, Jay's argument that wins Michael over is that he better go to those lessons or else she'll shut down ""pantyville"". When they get there, only more problems waits for Michael. The samba instructor is all over Jay, which makes him so jealous he has the guy deported. The new instructor, however, is a very attractive woman who is all over Michael, making Jay jealous now. They decide to quit the samba lessons after all and spice up their marriage in their own way. Meanwhile, Claire's accepted in the cheerleading squad, but won't believe she only got in for her looks and not for her talent – which is none.

#23 - Breaking Up and Breaking It

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 4/25/2001

Claire develops her first real crush on a boy, and Michael does everything to break them up. But instead of threatening the guy like he would usually do, Michael become friends with him, to the point where the boy wants to spend more time with Michael then with Claire. After Claire dumps him, Jay makes Michael dump him too, which is a little hard because he is listens to Michael. Jr., on the other hand, has been busier playing with himself. Ever since those hormones kicked in, Jr. spends most of the day in the bathroom, until he ""breaks"" his toy and has to take some time out.

#24 - Michael's Tribe

Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/18/2002

Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and ""the new Tony"" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a ""rave.""

#25 - Jay Goes to School

Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/8/2003

Jay decides to go to college and get her psychology degree, which Michael fully reprehends her for. He doesn't want her to put the household in second because it would jeopardize the entire family and eventually could ruin their marriage. After going to a real psychologist, Michael and Jay come to terms and she agrees to scale back her classes as he decides to let her pursue her dream. Meanwhile, Junior's friends turn his old crib into some sort of vehicle.