My Wife and Kids

The WORST episodes of My Wife and Kids

Every episode of My Wife and Kids ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of My Wife and Kids!

Michael Kyle longs for a traditional life, but his day-trader wife Janet, gangsta rap-worshipping son Michael Jr., and brooding daughters Claire and Kady make his dream just that ... a dream.

Last Updated: 6/8/2022Network: ABC (US)
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Empty Nest (2)
star
6.56
119 votes

#1 - Empty Nest (2)

Season 4 - Episode 21 - Aired 3/3/2004

During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.

Directors: Peter Filsinger
Watch Now:iTunes
Class Reunion
star
6.75
112 votes

#2 - Class Reunion

Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/5/2004

Michael is reluctant to attend his high-school reunion until a former rival challenges him to a dance-off.

Directors: Damien Wayans
Watch Now:iTunes
The Funeral
star
6.77
118 votes

#3 - The Funeral

Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/2003

The Kyles are willing to support Michael's inconsolable employee, Larry, who can't get over losing his 103-year-old grandmother. But Larry goes overboard when, at the funeral, he asks little Kady to kiss his ""Grammy"" goodbye and for Jay to sing his beloved grandmother's favorite R&B song.

Directors: Damien Wayans
Watch Now:iTunes
The Sweet Hairafter
star
6.90
125 votes

#4 - The Sweet Hairafter

Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/24/2003

Michael meets his friend Jimmy at the golf club and is impressed with how much hair he's grown with the help of some ""miracle"" pills called ""Come Hair Now"". As he starts to take them in overdose, weird stripes of hair rise from his chronically bald head. He's jealous of his hair and won't let anyone touch it. He also starts to get paranoiac that Jay is trying to kill him after they make a life insurance, but turns out it was just one of the side effects of the pill. Meanwhile, Kady becomes very jealous of Claire when she volunteers to be on the big sister program.

Directors: Eric Laneuville
Watch Now:iTunes
Empty Nest (1)
star
7.07
106 votes

#5 - Empty Nest (1)

Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 3/3/2004

During a rare occasion when Michael and Jay have the house to themselves, they find themselves reminiscing about the fun times they've had with their kids and various friends. Some of these memorable moments include Jay's obsession with her weight and Michael's visit to a proctologist.

Watch Now:iTunes
Calvin Comes To Stay
star
7.16
137 votes

#6 - Calvin Comes To Stay

Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 3/10/2004

Calvin, Vanessa's gregarious father, has an argument with his wife, Jasmine, gets kicked out of the house and moves in with the Kyles, against their wishes. When he starts eating everything in sight and keeps everyone awake with his loud snoring, a frustrated Michael comes up with a clever plan to get Calvin back home.

Directors: Damien Wayans
Watch Now:iTunes
Michael's Band
star
7.17
107 votes

#7 - Michael's Band

Season 4 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/26/2003

When Michael's old friend and former bandmate, Johnny ""Saxophone"" Watson, comes to town for a gig, it turns out Johnny's piano player can't make it. Michael eagerly accepts an invitation to take the man's place, but refuses to admit that his musical skills have gotten rusty. Meanwhile, love is blind when it comes to Franklin realizing that his little sister, Aretha, is a much better singer than the tone-deaf Kady.

Directors: Guy Distad
Watch Now:iTunes
He Said, She Said
star
7.17
227 votes

#8 - He Said, She Said

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/18/2001

Jay wants Michael to quit watching TV and spend a little more time with the family - something that apparently only she wants. But Michael insists on watching a basketball game. When Jay talks to him, he doesn't pay any attention, and later tries to find out what she told him. Then he tells her something, but Jay's too busy talking to one of her girlfriends on the phone, so she doesn't listen either. When the evening comes and they are ready to go out for dinner, Jay apologizes for not paying any attention and they decide to leave the kids alone. But will they pay any attention to their parents?

Watch Now:iTunes
Learning to Earn It
star
7.17
211 votes

#9 - Learning to Earn It

Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/12/2001

Michael decides to teach the kids how to handle money due to their inability of spending the allowance money wisely. He proposes that each kid comes up with their own business, and at the end of the week he'll double whatever profit they made. After a slow start selling ""lemon aids"", Kady discovers that garage sales are a very profitable business – especially when you're selling perfectly good appliances for very cheap prices. Claire starts her very own beauty salon, using Jay's expensive hair care products and the good towels. And Jr. chooses gambling to make money, something Michael devotes his full attention to prove being wrong – especially after losing his 3,000 dollars golf clubs to Jr. on blackjack – by buying a slot machine and making Jr. lose all the money he made.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
Pilot
star
7.20
398 votes

#10 - Pilot

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 3/28/2001

Michael Kyle (Damon Wayans) quests for a traditional family.

Watch Now:iTunes
What Do You Know?
star
7.22
105 votes

#11 - What Do You Know?

Season 4 - Episode 28 - Aired 5/19/2004

The family plays a game which shows them exactly how much they know about each other.

Watch Now:iTunes
Claire's New Boyfriend
star
7.24
173 votes

#12 - Claire's New Boyfriend

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/23/2002

After Michael admits liking Claire's boyfriend, Tony, she dumps him. The poor kid is devastated, and since Michael likes him so much he decides he's going to help Tony win Claire back – specially after seeing her new boyfriend, Jason (or ""1040 EZ"" as he likes to call himself). The results aren't good, so Michael has a heart-to-heart with Claire. He explains to her that Jason isn't good to her, and any men who are with her should treat her like the princess she is. Since the talk doesn't show any results either, Michael decides to act like he likes Jason and see if that makes Claire dislike him. Luckily, Claire comes back to her senses and gets back together with Tony. Meanwhile, Jay refuses to admit she looks like Jr.'s drawing of her. Instead, she believes she looks more like Halle Berry.

Directors: Andy Cadiff
Watch Now:iTunes
Calvin Goes to Work
star
7.25
138 votes

#13 - Calvin Goes to Work

Season 4 - Episode 23 - Aired 3/31/2004

When the overwhelmingly strong and gregarious Calvin, Vanessa's dad, begs Michael to give him a job at Kyle Trucking, Michael does so reluctantly and his worst fears are realized. Calvin's way of dealing with customers and merchandise leaves a little to be desired, and now Michael must find a way to get rid of the man without getting himself hurt in the process. Meanwhile, Claire gets Franklin to help her with her science paper.

Directors: Eric Laneuville
Watch Now:iTunes
Marathon
star
7.26
125 votes

#14 - Marathon

Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/12/2003

When Jay works hard to get in shape and run a marathon, Michael thinks that, since he's a man, he can run the marathon as well - without any real training. Meanwhile, bible-quoting Tony asks the gorgeous Claire to dress "ugly" so he won't feel so turned on.

Directors: Eric Laneuville
Watch Now:iTunes
Sister Story
star
7.32
137 votes

#15 - Sister Story

Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/13/2002

Michael's sister Kelly is coming over for the weekend, which freaks Jay out because every time Kelly comes over she overstays her welcome and always gets on Jay's nerves. This time is no different, with Kelly constantly throwing on Jay's face that she is fatter than her, a worse cook than her and even tries to make her look like a bad singer, even though Jay can sing wonderfully. Things heat up when Kelly brings up Sharon, Michael's old girlfriend and Kelly's best friend. The two women get into an argument and it's up to Michael to break them up. He pulls it, and Kelly and Jay finally get along. But for how long?

Directors: Andy Cadiff
Watch Now:iTunes
The Truth Hurts
star
7.34
327 votes

#16 - The Truth Hurts

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/28/2001

Michael suspects the family is less than truthful about certain matters.

Directors: James Widdoes
Watch Now:iTunes
Jury Duty
star
7.37
129 votes

#17 - Jury Duty

Season 3 - Episode 19 - Aired 2/26/2003

Michael and Jay are asked to serve jury duty together. Michael's elected foreman and wants to move on the trial quickly so he can get home to watch the ""Godfather"" marathon on TV. But Jay won't vote in guilty because she thinks there has to be a debate first. Thanks to that, Michael ends up missing the marathon, and has to rent the videos to catch up with the movie. At the video store, he meets an insurance salesman whom he mistakes for a mobster, and is convinced that the mob is after him due to the case. The case ends up being dismissed before they can vote, and Jay is disappointed that Michael wouldn't back her up but has her revenge when Michael acts like a fool.

Directors: Andy Cadiff
Watch Now:iTunes
Jay the Artist
star
7.39
171 votes

#18 - Jay the Artist

Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/27/2002

Feeling that she has no space and time of her own due to home duties, Jay decides to paint. The result is a portrait of Michael based on Michelangelo's David, which makes Michael feel a little bit ""diminished"". They start an argument over it, which ends on Michael finally agreeing on letting Jay show her work at a friend's art gallery – with a ""big"" change, that is. Meanwhile, Michael renews acquaintances with old buddy Steve, while the kids are encouraged to develop their artistic abilities aswell. Claire designs clothes, Kady plays the piano and Junior writes some bizarre poetry

Directors: Andy Cadiff
Watch Now:iTunes
Open Your Heart
star
7.43
121 votes

#19 - Open Your Heart

Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/11/2002

Jay decides to attend a ""Open Your Heart"" seminar for struggling couples, even though she and Michael are happier than ever. Her excuse is ""prevention"", but Michael warns her not to try fixing something that isn't broken. At the seminar, they are teased against each other and stop talking to one another. It takes Kady suffering an accident at school for them to realize how important communication between them really is. Meanwhile, Michael wants his children to learn the value of money and tells Jr. to start his own business selling monkeyfish like he. Jr., instead of the monkeyfish, decides to get 100% refunds on the clothes Claire buys with a 40% discount at the store she's working. When Jr. gets caught, Claire gets fired and Michael punishes him by making he wear the clothes he wanted refund.

Directors: Damien Wayans
Watch Now:iTunes
Michael's Tribe
star
7.46
129 votes

#20 - Michael's Tribe

Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/18/2002

Michael (aka: Chief Bald Eagle) is recruited to camp out with Kady and her friends and teach them Native American lore. Meanwhile, Clare and ""the new Tony"" plan to stay out all night themselves: they're plotting to sneak out to a ""rave.""

Directors: Damien Wayans
Watch Now:iTunes
Graduation (1)
star
7.47
123 votes

#21 - Graduation (1)

Season 3 - Episode 26 - Aired 5/21/2003

Jr.'s graduation is coming up, and he breaks the news to his family that he wants to go to college. At first shocked, Michael decides to help him make a good interview, but his anxiety and lack of good sense makes him look like a complete moron. He even tries to bride the interviewer, when he's finally asked to leave Jr. alone. The kid does reasonably good. A few days later a letter arrives at the Kyles, saying that Jr. got accepted but has to take summer school classes. Meanwhile, Clare wears a blond wig to call her parents attention, thinking she has been forgotten now that Jr. is on the spot. And Franklin applies to the soon available son spot on the Kyle family.

Directors: Eric Laneuville
Watch Now:iTunes
Samba Story
star
7.49
171 votes

#22 - Samba Story

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/9/2002

Tired of the same dinner-and-a-movie routine, Jay convinces Michael to take dancing lessons to spice up their relationship. At first reluctant, Jay's argument that wins Michael over is that he better go to those lessons or else she'll shut down ""pantyville"". When they get there, only more problems waits for Michael. The samba instructor is all over Jay, which makes him so jealous he has the guy deported. The new instructor, however, is a very attractive woman who is all over Michael, making Jay jealous now. They decide to quit the samba lessons after all and spice up their marriage in their own way. Meanwhile, Claire's accepted in the cheerleading squad, but won't believe she only got in for her looks and not for her talent – which is none.

Directors: Andy Cadiff
Watch Now:iTunes
Breaking Up and Breaking It
star
7.50
230 votes

#23 - Breaking Up and Breaking It

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 4/25/2001

Claire develops her first real crush on a boy, and Michael does everything to break them up. But instead of threatening the guy like he would usually do, Michael become friends with him, to the point where the boy wants to spend more time with Michael then with Claire. After Claire dumps him, Jay makes Michael dump him too, which is a little hard because he is listens to Michael. Jr., on the other hand, has been busier playing with himself. Ever since those hormones kicked in, Jr. spends most of the day in the bathroom, until he ""breaks"" his toy and has to take some time out.

Watch Now:iTunes
Chair Man of the Board
star
7.51
166 votes

#24 - Chair Man of the Board

Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/4/2002

Michael's old friend Tommy is coming over and Michael is very excited because he and Tommy used to compete for everything. But his excitement soon turns into awkwardness when Tommy shows in on a wheelchair and Michael doesn't know how to act with the situation. Tommy decides to take advantage of that until they have a talk in which Tommy asks Michael to treat him like he used to, because despite the wheelchair he's the same guy that used to race Michael for anything. Meanwhile, Claire is caught shoplifting and gets grounded for it. When she confronts Kady about who put the nail polishers on her purse she feels so guilty she confesses to their parents that Claire didn't do it. The punishment? She will no longer be treated like a baby.

Directors: Andy Cadiff
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes
Diary of a Mad Teen
star
7.51
179 votes

#25 - Diary of a Mad Teen

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/16/2002

While making Claire's bed, Jay finds her diary hidden under the mattress. She can't resist the temptation of reading it and is quite shocked to learn that her daughter is thinking about taking the next step with Tony. She has a heart-to-heart talk with Claire, about the consequences of pursuing hr hormonal desires. Meanwhile, Michael is scheduled for an appointment with the eye doctor even though he insists there's nothing wrong with his sight (doesn't matter than he can't even read the paper without squishing his eyes). He decides to have Jr. drive him there so he can test his driving abilities for an upcoming date with a girl. When he comes out of the doctor's office, Jr. is gone, and Michael tells him that he disappointed him big time, and if he can't trust Jr. to be there for his family, then he might want to consider moving out. And all Kady wants to do is play hide-and-seek.

Directors: Andy Cadiff
Watch Now:AmazoniTunes

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