The BEST episodes of Malcolm in the Middle
Every episode of Malcolm in the Middle ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Malcolm in the Middle!
A gifted and smart young man tries to navigate life, puberty, and love while trying to survive his often dimwitted, dysfunctional family.
#1 - Billboard
Season 6 - Episode 10 - Aired 2/13/2005
When Lois catches the boys vandalizing a trashy billboard for a strip club, Malcolm alters the vandalism into a women's rights protest, which sparks a colossal media circus. In no time, feminists, conservative religious groups and national new reporters descend on the scene. After Hal grants a TV interview, a woman from his past turns up at the faux protest; and Reese, inspired by the giant billboard stripper who comes to life in his dreams, gives an impassioned speech about the objectification of women.
#2 - Mono
Season 7 - Episode 13 - Aired 2/12/2006
Lois discovers she has mono after a visit to the doctor. She then ends up giving it to Malcolm after her maternal instincts begin. As a result, both Lois and Malcolm are forced to spend an entire day and night together in the same room. Hal, meanwhile, is invited to all of his neighbors' parties after they know Lois will not be attending any of them.
#3 - College Recruiters
Season 7 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/29/2006
A broke Francis gets talked into getting a real job by Dewey, but one of Francis' rocker friends decides to offer him the position of tour manager of his band instead. Back home, Hal takes over the college recruiters, which Malcolm refuses to meet with, and treats each one as a suitor. However, Hal's plans are ruined when Malcolm chooses to go Harvard.
#4 - Stupid Girl
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/24/2002
Acting dumb like Reese eases Malcolm's stress and lands him a date with the new light of his life, an attractive girl who's really a dim bulb.
#5 - Polly in the Middle
Season 5 - Episode 17 - Aired 4/25/2004
Hal sets up Abe Kenarben on a blind date with Jaime's babysitter Polly but then realizes Lois has also set her up on a blind date - with Craig. Malcolm, Dewey (with his "lucky" shirt) and Reese also meet Reggie Jackson and Francis is embarrassed by Piama in front of his co-workers.
#6 - Bomb Shelter
Season 7 - Episode 18 - Aired 4/2/2006
Malcolm joins a local dance class to impress a girl, but when she loses her footing, he realizes that to win the competition he'll need a partner who can step it up. Dick, a rival student in the class who takes dancing a bit too seriously, challenges Malcolm to a dance-off. Meanwhile, Hal discovers an underground bachelor pad in the backyard.
#7 - The Grandparents
Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/11/2001
Lois's nightmare parents, Victor and Ida, come for a surprise visit and throw the family into turmoil not only with their mere presence, but by promising to pay for a much-needed refrigerator and then reneging after Lois and Hal spend money they don't have. Lois and Hal are forced to ask Ida and Victor to stay longer to help take care of the kids while they work some crazy overtime. Victor treats Reese like a king while Ida tortures Malcolm for being a smart wimp. Victor gives Reese a live grenade, and when Reese inevitably arms it, Malcolm's quick thinking blows up the new refrigerator instead of the whole house. Hal extorts money out of Lois's parents to pay for the damage. Francis motivates his fellow cadets to break out for a weekend and go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, but then spend the entire time there suffering from eating bad sushi.
#8 - Kicked Out
Season 4 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/9/2003
After Lois is out of town, Malcolm and Hal got into a fight leading Malcolm to get expelled from his house. Malcolm lives with his girlfriend in her attic, as Hal put signs for "Missing Malcolm."
#9 - Grandma Sues
Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 2/2/2003
Cloris Leachman returns in her Emmy-nominated role as the spiteful and irascible Grandma Ida. She's even nastier than usual (if that's possible) because of a tumble down the front steps that resulted in a broken collarbone, prompting her to sue her daughter and son-in-law for pain and suffering. And there's more momentous news on the home front: Lois is pregnant. So she pleads with Ida to reconsider her lawsuit: "We're already stretched to the limit financially as it is. Obviously, a new baby is going to make things even harder on us." "Yes, yes, of course," Ida concurs. "You should settle."
#10 - Malcolm Holds His Tongue
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 1/5/2003
After joining the basketball team at school, Malcolm soon finds himself under the coach's skin due to his constant complaining, which eventually gets him kicked off the team. Determined to put an end to his horrible habit of talking before he thinks, Malcolm starts "holding his tongue" which solves all the problems with his coach, girlfriend, and parents, but it ends up causing more stress than before. Meanwhile, Hal takes up speed walking and is desperate to be the best while Reese gets Craig to take him and Allison to a concert and almost ruins his date.
#11 - Reese Drives
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 2/10/2002
Highway horror: Reese gets a learner's permit, which he promptly proceeds to abuse by commandeering a driving-school vehicle.
#12 - Christmas Trees
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 12/14/2003
Hal and the boys slash the prices of their Christmas trees to outsell a nearby church. Back at the ranch, Otto's bickering relatives descend, reminding Francis of home sweet home.
#13 - Hal Coaches
Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired 3/10/2002
Clever Hal invigorates Dewey's soccer team; sly Reese blackmails a philandering neighbor; obsessed Malcolm battles a computer program.
#14 - Reese Joins The Army (Part 2)
Season 5 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/23/2004
Reese continues to be a great soldier in the Army until he finds himself in a situation where his Sergeant cannot help. But after comparing being captured to being grounded, he takes action and leads his team to victory. But being such a successful soldier has it's bad parts as well, as Reese prepares to jump from the plane - right into Afghanistan. Malcolm has his hands full as well as he attempts to prove Hal innocent. But being good with numbers helps as Malcolm notices all of the prosecutions given dates are on Fridays - which Hal hasn't worked on in over 15 years. And with Reese missing and Hal's case, Lois falls deeper and deeper into insanity.
#15 - Dewey's Opera
Season 6 - Episode 11 - Aired 2/20/2005
When Lois buys a brand-new king-sized bed, Hal thinks that her motive is to put more distance between them and refuses to sleep in it. Moved to tears by an opera he sees on television, Dewey is inspired to write his own operatic masterpiece, "The Marriage Bed," which is based on his parents' fight and turned into a school production. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Reese build their own street luge board; and Jamie falls head over heels for the baby girl across the street.
#16 - Hal's Christmas Gift
Season 6 - Episode 6 - Aired 12/19/2004
Hal and Lois, strapped for cash, decide that Christmas gifts will have to be homemade this year. When everyone makes much better gifts than Hal, he spins a bigger and bigger lie about the present he has in store for them. In desperation, Hal pick-pockets Malcolm's secret credit card, and buys the family a ski vacation.
#17 - Garage Sale
Season 4 - Episode 15 - Aired 4/6/2003
A garage sale that's entrusted to Reese (yikes!) yields treasures near and dear, like Hal's old radio transmitter, which he makes operational. And a PC dating back to 1976 that Malcolm plans to sell to Craig for $1300.
#18 - Humilithon
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 11/10/2002
High school's first day vexes Malcolm, who acquires an unfortunate nickname; and Hal, a parental "volunteer" running afoul of authority.
#19 - Day Care
Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/18/2003
With the arrival of their fifth child, Lois and Hal search for a "creative" daycare solution.
#20 - Family Reunion
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/17/2002
Christopher Lloyd adds to his gallery of eccentric characters, playing Hal's quirky, cranky and very wealthy father, Walter, in this rollicking episode. The occasion is a birthday celebration for the old man, but the snooty female in-laws seem more interested in offending Lois. Their shabby behavior initially goes unnoticed by Hal, who's desperately trying to bond with his self-centered dad; and by Dewey and Reese, who seek some of Grampa's dough by currying favor with him. But when Lois is reduced to tears after being excluded from a group photo, the family rallies to her side with an all-out counterattack that turns the party into pandemonium.
#21 - Casino
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 11/19/2000
A family weekend vacation to a casino turns into an ordeal in the desert for Hal, Reese and Malcolm, who wander onto an artillery range. Francis sneaks home, but has no one to play with.
#22 - Hal Grieves
Season 7 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/19/2006
Hal learns that his father has passed away, but sheds no tears and passes it off as nothing since he never knew him. So, to make sure nothing like that happens again, he lets the boys do whatever they want by letting them miss school and even offering to buy Malcolm a new car, until Lois puts a stop to it. Noticing how depressed Hal has become, his friend Abe brings George Takei over for a visit in an attempt to cheer him up.
#23 - Malcolm's Girlfriend
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/28/2001
Malcolm has a new light in his life: a perky classmate named Sara (whose face, in a quirky touch, is never shown). But, according to Malcolm , she’s “good-looking and smart and cool. And if we went out together, it would make me happy. So therefore, it will never happen.” Ah, but it does—a surprising turn of events that elates the lad and perturbs his parents, especially when Malcolm goes into an academic tailspin. And it’s not long before our lovesick hero admits that he’s becoming “obsessive and neurotic, and a totally jealous creep.”
#24 - Boys at Ranch
Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 1/12/2003
Typically, the boys run amok at Francis's dude ranch; atypically, he disciplines them, setting the stage for their clever retaliation.
#25 - Stereo Store
Season 4 - Episode 13 - Aired 3/16/2003
Jessica, a sly, 16-year-old sitter outfoxes the boys while Lois is away and Hal's busy with a second job as a whiz of a salesman.