The WORST episodes of Malcolm in the Middle
Every episode of Malcolm in the Middle ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Malcolm in the Middle!
A gifted and smart young man tries to navigate life, puberty, and love while trying to survive his often dimwitted, dysfunctional family.
#1 - Halloween
Season 7 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/28/2005
Reese and Malcolm try to perform the ultimate Halloween prank.
#2 - Clip Show
Season 3 - Episode 19 - Aired 4/28/2002
An embattled psychiatrist probes the boys' naughty behavior patterns in a session framed by flashbacks to past episodes.
#3 - Clip Show #2
Season 4 - Episode 17 - Aired 4/20/2003
Clips from past episodes are interwoven with the current squabbling of Hal and Lois, who set out to draw up a will and wind up at odds over their legacies and their kids. As Hal tells Lois, "We are not equipped to deal with these issues."
#4 - Company Picnic (Part 1)
Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 2/3/2002
Juicy guest casting and ingenious plotting enliven an hourlong episode that airs in the plum post-Super Bowl slot. One storyline unfolds at Hal's company picnic, where Lois clashes with a blabby wife (Susan Sarandon) and her beleaguered spouse (Kaczmarek's real-life husband, Bradley Whitford); and Hal runs afoul of his new boss (Stephen Root) and the big cheese (Patrick Warburton). In Alaska, Francis's scheme to win a bet involves rigging a hockey game that pits loggers vs. a fearsome women's squad led by a blowhard coach (Terry Bradshaw).
#5 - Softball
Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 2/15/2004
Malcolm is convinced to play Softball by Lois and ends up doing very badly at it due to Lois's hold on him. Meanwhile, Francis tries to pick fights with Lois, Reese tries to break Francis's record of collecting toilet seats from a local junkyard, and Hal accidentally applies to become a member of the CIA.
#6 - Secret Boyfriend
Season 7 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/11/2005
When Malcolm gets paired with a dimwitted beauty as his chemistry partner, he thinks it's a recipe for disaster, but when she reveals her feelings for him, sparks fly. They agree to keep their romantic experiment under wraps until Malcolm realizes that she's just embarrassed to be dating him. Meanwhile, Lois demands that Reese get a job, and she kicks him out of the house to prove that she means business.
#7 - Standee
Season 6 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/21/2004
When Hal and the garbageman get into a trash-dumping war (which benefits Dewey more than anyone else), Hal enlists Reese's help. Meanwhile, Lois gets her job back at Lucky Aide (off probation), and fights against Malcolm in order to take down an offensive billboard of a smiling black janitor (whose nametag reads "Slappy") holding a mop and a 6-pack of malt liquor. Soon it's an all-out war between mom and son - until Lois encounters a fellow employee who is more racist than the billboard.
#8 - Malcolm's Car
Season 6 - Episode 9 - Aired 1/30/2005
When Malcolm spots a roughed up 1967 Cuda in his neighborhood, he instantly falls in love with it and purchases the car. But he gets so caught up in the difficult task of restoring it that he blows off Stevie as well as Reese who needs him for an illegal betting scheme of his. Hal on the other hand, is having success when he stumbles upon his hidden talent -- hairstyling. Lois doesn't have time to worry about Malcolm or Hal, as she is caught up in scandal between Craig and their Lucky Aide boss Fred. Craig says he is taking time off to tutor Fred's wife in golf but Lois finds out he is actually having an affair with her.
#9 - Tiki Lounge
Season 6 - Episode 13 - Aired 3/13/2005
When Hal and Lois realize how little time they spend together, Hal turns the garage into a private tiki lounge where he and Lois can retreat. Things go smoothly until they feud over philosophical beliefs. Meanwhile, Mr. Herkabe cons Malcolm into joining the Booster Club, where he learns a lesson about taking one for the team.
#10 - Health Insurance
Season 7 - Episode 2 - Aired 10/7/2005
When Hal forgets to pay the family's health insurance, the company will not reinstate it until Monday, so he panics and locks the boys in their room to keep them from getting hurt.
#11 - Carnival
Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired 5/6/2001
Malcolm, Dewey, Stevie, and Reese hide out at a traveling carnival after hours and run afoul of a determined security guard and several members of the freak show.
#12 - Buseys Run Away
Season 6 - Episode 2 - Aired 11/14/2004
The Buseys disappear after Dewey leaves the special-needs class; Hal becomes the leader of a group of brainless bodybuilders.
#13 - Army Buddy
Season 7 - Episode 8 - Aired 12/2/2005
When Lois finds renewed energy with orthotic inserts for her shoes, Hal fears she will not look to him for support anymore and plots to destroy the inserts. A former female army buddy of Reese's comes to their house for a visit. But she gets defensive when Reese thinks they are way more than just friends and comes intact to the idea of trying to sleep with her.
#14 - Reese Comes Home
Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 11/7/2004
When Reese realizes the Army is too much for him to handle, he deserts and dresses as an Afghani woman. But Lois is on a march to find him, and travels to Kabul to hunt him down. Meanwhile, Malcolm volunteers at a veterans hospital as a way to make up for his guilt of making Reese leave.
#15 - Dirty Magazine
Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 1/11/2004
Malcolm alerts the A.C.L.U. when he encounters censorship working on the high-school literary magazine; Hal tries to flirt with the woman in his office responsible for cutbacks.
#16 - Blackout
Season 7 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/18/2005
Francis decides to surprise the family by coming home, and the power goes out in the house. Meanwhile, it's Lois who's in the dark when Hal decides to cancel their anniversary dinner in favor of a Reese-cooked meal at home. And Malcolm ends up in hot water after he sneaks three Dutch girls into the house.
#17 - Jury Duty
Season 3 - Episode 20 - Aired 5/1/2002
Lois gets jury duty and Hal tries to figure out what case she's working on. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Reese saw Stevie's mom naked and brag about it, they also take Dewey to the sewers and get lost.
#18 - Hal Sleepwalks
Season 6 - Episode 7 - Aired 1/16/2005
Hal is sleepless because of their upcoming 20th wedding anniversary. So he ask Reese for some ideas for presents. Then Reese gets the idea to brainwash his dad while he's nervous. Dewey's friends are set up in an upcoming student body election when a bully nominated two of his geeky friends. Malcolm takes up playing the electric guitar, though Lois discourages his musical ability. He writes a heart warming song. When he plays & sings his creation, Dewey figures out that his song is sung to the tune of the "Meow Mix" jingle!
#19 - Robbery
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/26/2000
Gun-wielding robbers menace Lois and Craig at the Lucky Aide Store, while swarming bats beset Hal and the boys at home.
#20 - Ida Loses A Leg
Season 6 - Episode 14 - Aired 3/20/2005
During Grandma's unwelcome visit with the family, she loses her leg while saving Dewey from a moving truck. Consumed with guilt, Dewey is determined to find his Grandmother's leg and give it the proper burial. Francis, on the other hand, begrudgingly becomes the caretaker for his stubborn, cranky grandmother. Meanwhile, Malcolm and Reese are given a new idea for a prank that forces them to stay awake days at a time to avoid the embarrassment of having their faces glued to the floor.
#21 - Convention
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/22/2000
While Hal and Lois wreak havoc out of town, the boys are almost angelic at home-- thanks to the care of a sexy babysitter.
#22 - Cattle Court
Season 7 - Episode 20 - Aired 4/16/2006
Reese meets a cute vegetarian named Carrie when he goes back to work at the meat plant. At first, he goes along with her political talk, but she catches him with a pork chop. So, to get Carrie back, he sets free all the cows at the meat plant. Malcolm, meanwhile, tries to fool Lois in order to attend a rock concert.
#23 - Living Will
Season 6 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/6/2005
Hal is named executor of his neighbor's living will and must decide whether to keep him on life support or pull the plug. In attempting to make the decision, Hal discovers he is incapable of making decisions on his own because he always defers to Lois. Meanwhile, Craig asks Malcolm, Reese and Dewey to teach him how to fight dirty since a bully from his childhood is coming to town.
#24 - Book Club
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/18/2001
Unfulfilled Lois joins a ladies’ book club, which is really a whining—and wining—session. Meanwhile, at home, Hal’s desperate to busy the boys.
#25 - Kitty's Back
Season 6 - Episode 5 - Aired 12/12/2004
Kitty returns and asks Lois for help getting Kitty's estranged husband back; Francis comes home and puts Dewey through the torturous "Brotherhood Initiation."