The BEST episodes of Celebrity Deathmatch
Every episode of Celebrity Deathmatch ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Celebrity Deathmatch!
Sport and event coverage re-defined! Today's hottest celebrities are pitted against each other in no-holds-barred fantasy fights complete with pre- and post-battle activities, one-on-one interviews, press conferences and behind-the-scenes locker room moments that parody the worlds of film, television, music and politics. Announcers Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond offer commentary and play-by-play coverage while legendary referee Mills Lane presides over the Celebrity Deathmatch Ring.
#1 - Courtney Love Returns
Season 3 - Episode 15 - Aired 10/15/2000
The fights are Nick Nolte vs. Eddie Murphy, Macaulay Culkin vs. Haley Joel Osment, and then Dave Grohl & Billy Corgan vs. Courtney Love for the Main Event. Nick Nolte vs. Eddie Murphy: The two stars of '48 Hours' fight, and Eddie seems to be winning. But then Nick takes over and finishes off Eddie by pulling out his heart with his own hand. Nick Nolte (in a bathrobe) wins! Macaulay Culkin vs. Haley Joel Osment: Culkin was the 'Home Alone' kid, but now he's a disgruntled teenager who wants the newest kid star (Osment) out of the picture. The ring looks like a kid's jungle gym at grade school, but the fighting makes the place look quite deadly. After Haley gets knocked around enough by Culkin, he sees dead people. Sure enough, the celebrities of previous fights who had died come back as ghosts to tear Macaulay Culkin to pieces! Haley Joel Osment wins! Dave Grohl & Billy Corgan vs. Courtney Love: It's a Dome of Devastation fight, and it is two against one. However Billy Cor
#2 - Salute to Laughter
Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired 7/22/1999
It's comedian time! 1. Dennis Miller vs. Carrot Top 2. Rodney Dangerfield vs. Don Rickles Main Event: Billy Crystal vs. Robin Williams vs. Whoopi Goldberg 1. Dennis Miller vs. Carrot Top The two battle with props from a treasure chest, and in the end, Dennis Miller shoves an air pump into Carrot Top's arse, inflates him and then turns him into an animal balloon. Dennis tires to make a joke, but no one gets it, and when Carrot Top insults him, he takes an sharp object and bursts his opponent all over the arena! 2. Rodney Dangerfield vs. Don Rickles The two comeidans are famous for insults, and they fight with a giant grill in the middle of the arena, and a giant spatula. At first, Don is winning by shouting insults at Rodney, but after so many, his insults grow weak and he loses his strength. Dangerfield then takes over, and punches Rickles so hard that he knocks him to pieces all over the grill! Main Event: Billy Crystal vs. Robin Williams vs. Whoopi Goldberg The fight
#3 - Fandemonium III
Season 3 - Episode 24 - Aired 2/11/2001
1. Beavis vs. Butthead 2. Backstreet Boys vs. 'N Sync A huge fandemonium. Fight Summary: 1 - Beavis vs. Butthead Beavis drinks too many beers and turns into Cornholio... Too drunk from the beers, he slices up Butthead. 2 - Backstreet Boys vs. 'N Sync This fight covered both the second and the third part of the episode, the second part when Nick resurrected them from the dead, and the third part was the fight itself. Here's how it turned out. The Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync each formed a special attack form: 'N Sync by holding each other together and forming a wheel, and Backstreet Boys by forming themself into a giant beast... this is hard to explain... The Backstreet Beast was way superior to the 'N Sync pinwheel, and the beast grabbed Joey and threw him into the wall, crushing his head. But Justin and Chris shocked the beast to death by using some electric wires.
#4 - Nick Gets High
Season 3 - Episode 22 - Aired 1/21/2001
1. Mike Myers vs. Dana Carvey 2. Sandra Bullock vs. Angelina Jolie 3. Woody Harrelson vs. Leonardo DiCaprio When Sandra Bullock and Angelina Jolie fought, a very disturbing brother of Jolie was trying to be a little too helpful for his sister (good luck kiss, mouth-to-mouth when she's winning). At the start, Sandra doesn't act too tough, but then she becomes violent and really starts hammering the Tomb Raider. She puts a bomb in the seat of Jolie's pants, but her brother pulls it out and gets blown up himself. Angelia then fastens her lips onto the polls, drags Sandra towards her by suck in, and slices Miss Congeniality in half with her jumbo lips. Woody Harrelson and Leonardo DiCaprio fought in a jungle-like arena. In the end, Woody knocks Leonardo into a giant venus fly-trap's reach, and DiCaprio is munched up. Dana and Mike were going to use SNL characters, Dana Carvey won by shoving his fingers through Mike Myers skull, and calling himself ""the guy who shoves pinkies thro
#5 - Family Night II
Season 3 - Episode 20 - Aired 11/19/2000
1. Ashley Judd vs. Wynonna Judd 2. Carroll O'Connor vs. Sherman Hemsley 3. Keenen & Damon Wayans vs. Daniel & Alec Baldwin i know how it turned out but i'm not sure about the main event... i'll add it some day... here's the info for fight 1 and 2: 1 - Ashley Judd vs Wynonna Judd Ashely tried to help her sister lose weight by sucking the fat out through a straw, but Wynonna's girdle broke and the fat rushed down and into Ashley's head... filling it... Ashley trips on Wynonna's leg and falls and her head splashes. 2 - Sherman Hemsley vs Carroll O'Connor The fighters fought in a sitcom set, and they both run up to the second floor, falls down the stairs into the closet, Mills opens the closet, and both fighters collapse. 3 - Alec & Daniel Baldwin vs Keenen & Damon Wayans Alec encouraged his brother to pretend to be an actor... a guy on a hotel who has just been cut off from the bar... he freaks out and sees Damon as a refrigerator and thinking he rips out some beers, he rips out Damon
#6 - Suddenly Diamond
Season 3 - Episode 19 - Aired 11/12/2000
1. Diana Ross vs. Whitney Houston 2. Anthony Hopkins vs. Jodie Foster 3. Charlton Heston vs. Russell Crowe Fight Summary: 1 - Diana Ross vs. Whitney Houston ""The World's Deadliest Divas - Part 3"" Whitney starts spinning Diana around, and throw her against the ropes, and she bounces off, and lands in an x-ray machine. Whitney starts the machine, and it x-rays Diana, so her head burns up. 2 - Anthony Hopkins vs. Jodie Foster Jodie bit off Anthony's face. Just later, Julianne Moore appears with Hopkins' face above her, just like in ""Silence of the Lambs"", then Julianne kicks Jodie down, and Anthony devours Jodie Foster. 3 - Charlton Heston vs. Russell Crowe These guys fought in the tower of terror. When both fighters had made it to the top, Charlton jumped off, and landed alive and well. Then he starts chopping down the tower, but Russell uses his armpit hair to make a rope, and swing himself to safety. The tower falls, and crushes Charlton.
#7 - A Night of Vomit
Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired 11/5/2000
1. Burt Reynolds vs. William Shatner 2. Dr. Laura vs. Ellen DeGeneres 3. George W. Bush vs. Gavin Rossdale Summary: 1 - Burt Reynolds vs. William Shatner After a while, Reynolds rips of Shatner's toupee, then he shoots Shatner in the stomach with a laser, this makes Shatner really thin, and pissed off, just later, Shatner rips off Reynolds' toupee, then he shoves it into Reynolds' mouth, and then he rips off Reynolds' stomach so the intestance falls out. 2 - Dr. Laura vs. Ellen DeGeneres Dr Laura is was superior, until David Crosby jumps into the ring, and feeds Ellen with his old liver, this turns Ellen into a he-woman, very strong, and wild, Ellen starts beating up Dr Laura, and finally she holds dr Laura upside down, and her brain falls out. 3 - George W. Bush vs. Gavin Rossdale Bush vs Bush This fight ends with Gavin plugging his guitar into Bush's ear, and after playing some really high tones, this president's head explodes.
#8 - Halloween Episode II
Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired 10/29/2000
1. Brendan Fraser vs. The Mummy 2. Sarah Michelle Gellar vs. The Vampire 3. Zombie Stacy Cornbred vs. Debbie Matenopoulos In the second halloween episode, the arena is haunted by the ghost of Stacy Cornbred, who blew up in episode 216... So a lot of strange things happen, a mummy and a vampire appears, and loads of zombies... so the three fights was pre-empted. However... Fight Summary: 1 - Brendan Fraser vs. The Mummy Nick accidently fell off the announcer's booth, and was attacked by a mummy, but Brendan Fraser appears and uses his whip to toss the mummy into the arena. In the end, a part of the mummy's wrapping gets stuck on some guy in the audience's watch, and Brendan spins the mummy, so he comes completly unwrapped... finally Brendan knocks the mummy's skull and spine out with a chair. 2 - Sarah Michelle Gellar vs. The Vampire After the first commercial, flies starts entering the arena, and then Nick is bitten by a bat, which is knocked away and lands in the ring, there i
#9 - The Return of Lucy Lawless
Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired 10/22/2000
1. David Arquette vs. Paul Reiser 2. Martin Sheen vs. Michael Douglas 3. Dixie Chicks vs. TLC Lucy Lawless appears on this episode to guest comment with Nick & Johnny. Fight Summary: 1 - David Arquette vs. Paul Reiser These guys were telephone salesmen, so they used all kinds of phones to fight with. It ended with Arquette jamming a cellphone into Reiser's head, and calling it so Reiser's head explodes. 2 - Martin Sheen vs. Michael Douglas In the end, Martin Sheen rips off Michael Douglas' head, puts it on one of the microphones and that's it... 3 - Dixie Chicks vs. TLC First, T-Boz plays poker with Emily, who knocks the table, and it smashes T-Boz's head off. Next Left-Eye jumps on one of the floorboards and Emily is sent flying away and she lands on the piano or something, smashing her head. Then Martie throws several liquor bottles into Chilli's mouth, and finally she jumps on her head, crushing it. Then Martie and Natalie has cornered Left-Eye, but she steps on a rope, which
#10 - The Prisoners
Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 10/8/2000
1. James Gandolfini vs. Bruce Springsteen 2. Farrah Fawcett vs. Drew Barrymore 3. Robert Downey, Jr. vs. Christian Slater Fight Summary: 1 - James Gandolfini vs. Bruce Springsteen These guys fought for the right to name a chain of restrooms. They brought restroom stuff into the ring, and finally, Bruce throws James onto a toilet, and James gets stuck. Bruce flushes, and the toilet sucks James Gandolfini down, leaving Bruce Springsteen as the winner. 2 - Farrah Fawcett vs. Drew Barrymore Old Charlie's angel vs new Charlie's angel Farrah and Drew had fighting styles like animals, Farrah like a dodo and Drew as a giraffe. Farrah uses her dodo abilities to grab Drew Barrymore's head, fly up (stretching Drew's neck), release the head, which falls down, and Drew is torn apart by the hit. 3 - Robert Downey, Jr. vs. Christian Slater This fight took place in an arena decorated as a prison yard. Robert kept bribing the guard to do stuff with Christian, but Christian killed the guard,
#11 - The Battle of the Heavy Metal Maniacs
Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired 8/3/2000
1. Potato Khan vs. Beni Trauma 2. Mankind vs. Ernest Hemingway 3. James Hetfield vs. Fred Durst Fight Summary: 1 - Potato Khan vs. Beni Trauma First up came the second freakfight. Beni Trauma was way superior, and he cuts off Potato Kahn's arms and throws him on the grill, then he puts on some deadly spice, which causes Potato Kahn to grow tentacles, and he grabs a hold of Beni Trauma and rips off his head. 2 - Mankind vs. Ernest Hemingway After the first fight, Mankind had the ability to fight anyone he wanted too, he chose Ernest Hemingway. Mankind puts a sock on his hand and rips off Hemingway's jaw, and his brain and eyes falls out. 3 - James Hetfield vs. Fred Durst Metallica vs Limp Bizkit These guys fought in metal armor and with electromagnets in the arena, they were pulled in various directions... Finally Fred Durst slips out of his armor and the power of the magnets rips Hetfield in half. But Hetfield is still alive and he grabs a hoover and uses it to blow metal par
#12 - In The Head of Nicky jr.
Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 7/27/2000
The line-up was the Rage Against the Machine vs. The Machine, then John Malkovich vs. John Cusack, and the Main Event was Al Gore vs. 'Weird Al' Yankovic. In Rage Against the Machine vs. The Machine, the band was unaware that they were really fighting The Machine, and in the end, all four band members were killed and stuffed into jars. NOTE that Al Gore vs Weird Al took place before John Cusack vs John Malkovitch since the two Johns was gone (into Nicky jr.'s head), At first, in the Al Gore vs. 'Weird Al' Yankovic, Al Gore can't deal any damage personally to 'Weird Al'. But in the end, he pulls the Branch of Executives from his arse, bludgerons the Prince of Polkas, and then kills him by sucking his brains out through his eyeballs. In John Malkovich vs. John Cusack took place in Nicky jr's head, a spoof of ""Being John Malkovich"". (they enter through a refrigerator door) The fight ends with John Malkovitch using a brain-nerve to electrocute John Cusack. [thanx to Groucho Magmarx for
#13 - Time Travelling (2)
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 7/20/2000
1. Nick Diamond vs. The Satyr 2. Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper 3. Joan Rivers vs. Melissa Rivers The first two fights took place way back in time since Nick and Johnny jumped into the time machine to go look for Debbie, who disappeared in the last episode. Fight Summary: 1 - Nick Diamond vs. The Satyr First on their trip, Nick and Johnny landed in ancient Rome, in the Colluseum. Nick was forced to face the Satyr while Johnny and Julius Caesar commented. The fight ends when Nick showes a roman candle up the Satyr's ass and it blows him in half. 2 - Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper Next they landed in 19th century London. The ripper tried to kill Debbie, but she just kicked his ass, however Sherlock Holmes steps in and decides to fight the ripper. It turns out that Holmes is a real moron, he ignores every evidence Watson gives him, Watson gets killed by the ripper, and Sherlock finally sees the killer. The ripper has a couple of knives and stuff inside his coat, an
#14 - Johnny & Debbie.... In Love? (1)
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 7/13/2000
First it's a game show host fight, Chuck Woolery vs. Regis Philbin! The two battle in chairs that contain many deadly traps, and answer questions in 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' style. In the end, Chuck Woolery wins. Next is Napoleon vs. Joe Pesci, a battle of the midgets! Napoleon loses the arm he doesn't keep tucked in his coat, and Pesci loses one of his legs. But then Napoleon pulls out his other hand, which is toxic from being in his coat for several centuries. He shoves it into Joe's mouth, and poisons him to death (if that's how you say it). Napoleon wins! Kevin Bacon wasn't exactly well-informed when he came to the Deathmatch stadium. Thinking that he was going to be able to preform with his brother, Jesse Ventura. (a.k.a. WWF's 'The Body') First Meg Ryan stepped into the ring, they fought for a while, and then Kevin threw her out off the ring, and she got impaled on a sign. Next Martin Lawrence appeared, however he was dressed in way too many clothes, so he collap
#15 - Teen Night
Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 6/29/2000
1. Melissa Joan Hart vs. Alyssa Milano 2. Mary-Kate Olsen vs. Ashley Olsen 3. Ryan Phillipe & Reese Witherspoon vs. Jennifer Love Hewitt & Scott Wolf The teen night, featuring teen fights. Fight Summary: 1 - Melissa Joan Hart vs. Alyssa Milano Two wicked witches. After some mysteric magic, the girls are turned into real witches. Alyssa uses her broom to tie up Melissa, and then the broom grows to a pole, and Alyssa uses a fireball to set it on fire... Salem the cat tries to help Melissa, by putting out the fire, but the pole was too burnt, and it falls down and crushes both Melissa and the cat. 2 - Mary-Kate Olsen vs. Ashley Olsen The Olsen twins look alike, and they even fight alike, after a while, a weird looking creature steps into the ring - Betty-Sue, the third Olsen twin. Mary-Kate and Ashley decides to team up and beat the third sister, but the third Olsen twin is insane, and slices Mary-Kate and Ashley into pieces. 3 - Ryan Phillipe & Reese Witherspoon vs. Jennifer
#16 - Congressional Hearings
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/2/2000
Nick and Johnny are sent to meet the U.S. Congress to argue about the violence on the show, featuring Stone Cold as their defendant. The Congress shows many clips of various violent moments on the show, and Nick and Johnny shows some to defend themselves.
#17 - The New Employee
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 2/3/2000
1. Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera 2. Kenny G. vs. Flea 3. Anthony Edwards vs. Eriq LaSalle vs. Noah Wyle Fight summary: 1 - Britney Spears vs. Christina Aguilera The girls fight for a while, finally they tear each other apart entirely. 2 - Kenny G. vs. Flea Flea rips Kenny G's jaw off and throws it like a boomerang which ends up impaling Kenny's head. 3 - Anthony Edwards vs. Eriq LaSalle vs. Noah Wyle First LaSalle screams into a stetoscope jammed into Wyle's ear, so Wyle's head explodes... LaSalle and Edwards puts Wyle on the operation table and LaSalle stabs him to death. Later Edwards opens LaSalle's stomach and rips out his liver, then he injects the ebola virus into LaSalle, which makes him dissolve.
#18 - From the Streets of New York
Season 2 - Episode 18 - Aired 10/21/1999
In this episode, the deathmatch cast interviews people in New York, about which fights they want to see. Here's the list: 1. Rosie O'Donnell vs. Oprah Winfrey vs. Jerry Springer 2. Calista Flockhart vs. Lucy Lawless 3. Charles Manson vs. Marilyn Manson 4. Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey 5. Robert DeNiro vs. Al Pacino 6. Elvis Presley vs. Jerry Garcia 7. Gandhi vs. Genghis Khan 8. Madonna vs. Michael Jackson 9. Tommy Lee vs. Ron Jeremy All fights are of course clips, and no whole fight is shown.
#19 - In The Memory Of Stacy Cornbred
Season 2 - Episode 17 - Aired 10/14/1999
1. Cher vs. Bette Midler 2. Benito Mussolini vs. Roberto Benigni 3. John Travolta vs. Nicolas Cage
#20 - The Prophecy
Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired 10/7/1999
1. Dennis Franz vs. Sammo Hung 2. Steven Wright vs. Chris Tucker 3. Gwyneth Paltrow vs. Winona Ryder Most of the cast almost die in this episode: Nick is electrocuted by his microphone, Stone Cold gets in a fight with a moose, Mills almost spontaneously combusts, Johnny and Nick and Stone Cold sits in the tower when a plane crashes in it, Johnny's arm is cut off... but it was Stacy who died, after the third fight, she spontaneously combusts. Fight Summary: 1 - Dennis Franz vs. Sammo Hung (In episode 215, Dennis and Sammo started arguing during the first fight, and it led to this fight, also Dennis Franz was in episode 202, during the Calista Flockhart vs Lucy Lawless fight) Mills doesnt like Dennis Franz for some reason. By the end, Sammo's legs have been broken, and one of his arms chewed off by himself to escape the handcloves, he rolls around in the arena, Dennis climbs the ropes, and jumps down on Sammo, crushing him 2 - Steven Wright vs. Chris Tucker Slow vs Fast Steven ri
#21 - Robot Nicky
Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired 8/5/1999
1. Ricky Schroder vs. Gary Coleman 2. Lauryn Hill vs. Shania Twain 3. Hugh Grant vs. All-comers [ Clint Eastwood, Harvey Keitel, & Andy Dick ] Fight Summary: 1 - Ricky Schroder vs. Gary Coleman Ricky cant seem to remember Gary's name, this freaks him out, and he kicks away Ricky's legs, then torso, and finally head, leaving Gary Coleman as the winner. 2 - Lauryn Hill vs. Shania Twain Lauryn james the hose of a milking machine in Shania's face, and when she turns the milk machine on, it sucks Shania's brain out. 3 - Hugh Grant vs. All-comers [ Clint Eastwood, Harvey Keitel, & Andy Dick ] Hugh Grant steps into the ring, and his first challenger appears: Clint Eastwood. But Clint isnt so very powerful after all, he is knocked out of the ring, and Hugh jumps down on him, and Eastwood gets pulverized. Next came Harvey Keitel. He starts kicking Hugh Grant's ass, but Hugh shows Keitel his pale british chest, blinded by the gaze, Keitel is chanceless, and Hugh Grant launches him into t
#22 - Best of WWF
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 10/1/2000
1. Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin 2. Captain Doody vs. The Undertaker 3. Mankind vs. Ernest Hemingway
#23 - Celebrity Deathmatch Internacional
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/4/1999
1. Paul Hogan vs. Mel Gibson 2. Antonio Banderas vs. Cheech Marin 3. Fabio vs. Bono vs. Yoko Ono In this episode, Nick & Johnny and the cast took the airplane and the three fights took place in different places on earth: Fight Summary: 1 - Paul Hogan vs. Mel Gibson The first fight takes place in Sydney/Australia. Paul Hogan throws his boomerang, and it cuts off half of Mel Gibson's face. His makeup team re-arrange him, and he is now dressed like his character in Braveheart (blue and red face etc), then he impales Hogan on something (i think it was the turnbuckle, or a spear, i'd look it up), and burns him on a barbecue next to the ring. 2 - Antonio Banderas vs. Cheech Marin The second fight takes place in Havanna/Cuba, guest referee Fidel Castro. Cheech and Fidel starts smoking tobacco, and in the smoke cloud, Banderas slices up Fidel... this freaks Cheech out and he ties Banderas up and plays piÃ±ata with him, with a final blow, Cheech smashes Banderas' chest open. 3 - Fabio vs.
#24 - Family Night I
Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 7/8/1999
1. Charlie Sheen vs. Emilio Estevez 2. Eric & Julia Roberts vs. Donny & Marie Osmond 3. Bob & Jakob Dylan vs. Jerry & Ben Stiller
#25 - Sex, Lugs & Rock'n'roll
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 7/6/2000
1. Heather Locklear vs. Pamela Anderson Lee 2. Axl Rose vs. Slash Main Event: Jeff Gordon vs. Dale Earnhardt Summaries: 1. Heather Locklear vs. Pamela Anderson Lee Pamela did enter the ring with a little surprise - atomic breast implants. She reveals her breasts, and fires out laser like shots towards Heather, that burns off her skin on her legs and one arm... but then Pamela's chest malfunctions, and she explodes, leaving Heather Locklear as the winner 2. Axl Rose vs. Slash Axl scalps Slash, and after torturing Slash for a little bit, mixes his brains with a blender. But this turns Slash into a vicious, psycotic man with the intelligence of a child. He takes the scissors Rose used to cut his hair, and snips Axl Rose into nothing more than paper dolls (flesh dolls?). Main Event: Jeff Gordon vs. Dale Earnhardt The arena was like a race track, and both contestants had their own cars that had lethal weapons. Dale crushes Jeff under his car, and Gordon gets stuck on Earnh