The WORST episodes of Barney Miller
Every episode of Barney Miller ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Barney Miller!
Hal Linden stars in the title role as a NYPD captain in charge of a squad of oddball detectives and even stranger criminals.
#1 - Evacuation
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/23/1976
Wojo is dismayed to discover that the city doesn't have up-to-date evacuation procedures in the event of an emergency; Fish meets Jilly Pappalardo, a young thief who he will eventually care for in the "Barney" spin-off "Fish."
#2 - Fish
Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/4/1975
A glimpse at Detective Fish's home life ensues when the detective decides to go on restricted duty. Steve Landesberg bows as Arthur Dietrich; Doris Belack fills in for Florence Stanley as Bernice Fish.
#3 - Bus Stop
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/14/1976
Quarters are tight at the 12th when a holdup man is confined with his busload of victims.
#4 - The Dentist
Season 6 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/27/1979
One man's hands are a musical instrument to himself and a nuisance to others; a detective goes undercover to trap a dentist with wandering instruments.
#5 - Hair
Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 4/17/1975
A scruffy "Serpico"-type cop has good reason to hide behind unruly hair; Bernice discovers that Fish spent the afternoon in a massage parlor.
#6 - Bones
Season 8 - Episode 19 - Aired 4/29/1982
A museum presses charges when an Indian retrieves his tribe's ancestral bones from an exhibit; a scoutmaster catches a mugger.
#7 - Contempt (2)
Season 7 - Episode 16 - Aired 3/19/1981
When Barney spends the night in jail, the squad room is left in the natty hands of Sergeant Harris.
#8 - Contempt (1)
Season 7 - Episode 15 - Aired 3/12/1981
A restaurant may have refused a man service because of his appearance; Barney won't name an informant so he's charged with contempt of court.
#9 - Quarantine (2)
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/7/1976
The quarantined 12th Precinct tries to make it through the night: Lugar has a 'talk' with Marty and Daryl Driscoll; and Harris has a loud rant in his sleep.
#10 - The Tunnel
Season 4 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/1/1977
Wojo is buried alive after a tunnel collapses on a burglar burrowing towards the diamond exchange; a homeless Harris is combing Manhattan for a new apartment.
#11 - The Photographer
Season 6 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/20/1979
A tranquil prisoner claims to be Jesus Christ, which is timely for the drug dealer caught with an impressive stash; an elderly mugger poses as a photographer to ensnare lonely women.
#12 - Accusation
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/12/1978
An accusation of an indiscretion on the part of Dietrich leads to a visit from the gleeful Lieutenant Scanlon of Internal Affairs; Yemana books a rabbi who is running a gambling casino in his synagogue.
#13 - Arsonist
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/16/1975
The precinct is on the lookout for an arsonist; Chano brings in a man who used a deadly weapon on a vending machine.
#14 - Call Girl
Season 7 - Episode 6 - Aired 12/18/1980
Dorsey takes a protective stance to a young prostitute; Harris is getting stock tips from another one; and Dietrich is tempted by all of them as he experiments with celibacy.
#15 - Games
Season 8 - Episode 6 - Aired 12/10/1981
A manufacturer of computer game processors is accused of espionage; a WAC supplements her income on the street.
#16 - Possession
Season 8 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/19/1981
A husband is assaulted for forcing his wife into designer jeans; a disorderly conduct report leads to a man who swears he's possessed by an evil spirit.
#17 - The Librarian
Season 7 - Episode 13 - Aired 2/19/1981
A serious tone pervades this episode about a gypsy and his harassment of the owner of a novelty store; on the lighter side, a librarian takes extreme measures to ensure quiet amongst the stacks.
#18 - Landmark (1)
Season 8 - Episode 20 - Aired 5/6/1982
Wojo's discover of an ancient weapon puts the 12th Precinct up for sale.
#19 - Landmark (2)
Season 8 - Episode 21 - Aired 5/13/1982
The 12th Precinct is sold; Dietrich arrests the head of a crime school; Luger tries to duck out on his mail-order bride.
#20 - The Rainmaker
Season 7 - Episode 21 - Aired 5/14/1981
The officers arrest a rainmaker, only discover that he was hired by the drought-ridden city; Wojo, Harris and Dietrich each consider a job opening in vice.
#21 - Hot Dogs
Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/11/1975
A man is convinced that a photo of Jean Harlow is his missing wife; a pair of lady cops makes an overzealous drug bust.
#22 - The Horse Thief
Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/20/1975
A hansom cab owner reports his horse missing. A man assaulted in his hotel room insists he was alone.
#23 - Resignation
Season 7 - Episode 7 - Aired 1/8/1981
Dietrich, stricken with guilt when he shoots a felon, tenders his resignation; a playwright assaults an incompetent actor.
#24 - Wojo's Girl (2)
Season 5 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/25/1979
Wojo struggles to co-habitate with his ex-prostitute girlfriend.
#25 - Rain
Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/27/1975
During a very rainy day, the squad must endure both the precinct roof threatening to collapse, and VERY bad Bicentennial jokes from a nightclub comedian-the stationhouse roof literally groaning in response!!