The BEST episodes written by Chris Hayward
#1 - The Not-So-Great Escape (2)
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 26
Smart and the Chief try all the standard escape methods and each time KAOS has Seigfried and his henchman, Starker, block them. The Chief realizes that there must be an informer in the camp and devises a plan to fool the informer.
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#2 - Lorraine's Replacement
Trollied - Season 2 - Episode 12
Gavin assures Julie that he won't make another Lorraine-shaped mistake as the search for her replacement gets under way.
#3 - The Mole
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 22
Fish considers an operation; a burglar known as "The Mole" leads Harris and Wojo on a merry chase through the city sewer system. Ron Carey plays the Mole, and returns as Levitt in the next season.
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#4 - Happy New Year
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 15
On New Year's Eve, Fish tries to stop a jumper, and Wojo delivers a baby.
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#5 - The Not-So-Great Escape (1)
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 25
Max is assigned to see Agent Kendall safely on a plane to Europe. However, Kendall mysteriously disappears from the airport after being paged. When Max takes the Chief to the airport to find out what happened, the Chief also disappears after being paged.
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#7 - The Kid
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 21
Fish is attracted to the mother of a young mugger; a man is a bit premature to obtain the unclaimed windfall he found on the street.
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#9 - You Dirty Rat
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 9
Barney smells a rat when two pounds of confiscated marijuana disappears from the evidence locker, and a homeless man spends the night in a department store apparently one of many.
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#10 - Grand Hotel
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 7
Wojo and Wentworth pose as marrieds in order to bust a burglary ring set in a posh hotel.
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#11 - A Tale of Two Tails
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 7
Max fills in at spy school for an afternoon and is forced to deal with two students whose grades are "alarming in disarming and failing in tailing." After a brief disarming session, he assigns 198 and 199 to 99 as she picks up wedding items. Unknown to Max, 99 is also on assignment and is really picking up the Gaul Formula. She spots the tails and believes them to be KAOS agents.
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#13 - The Farkas Fracas
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 11
When Agent 99 is caught without dessert, she gratefully accepts chocolate mousse from her solicitious neighbor Naomi Farkas. Naomi and her husband Emil are secret KAOS agents who hope to photograph some papers the Chief has with him.
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#16 - The Hero
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 13
Chano is guilt-stricken when he shoots a holdup man; Liz makes a citizen's arrest, after being robbed at "stickpoint" by a twelve-year-old.
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#18 - The Escape Artist
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 11
A self-avowed "bird-man" drops in; Barney holds a resourceful escaped prisoner for the FBI; Harris decides to write a novel, setting up one of the series' most durable storylines.
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#19 - The Psychiatrist
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 20
A department psychiatrist advises the department to confiscate Wojo's gun.
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#20 - Discovery
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 8
Marty claims that a member of the 12th is harassing the gay community; the precinct computers think Fish is dead.
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#21 - The Worst Best Man
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 6
Each time Smart picks a best man for his upcoming wedding to Agent 99, the man meets with a mysterious accident. The Chief deducts that there must be a link between all of the accidents and KAOS because all of Max's prospects are fellow agents. To prevent further loss of manpower a t CONTROL, Hymie is appointed best man. KAOS then reveals it's true interest in Max's choice of best man - nearly to the extinction of CONTROL.
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#22 - Ms. Cop
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 8
An overzealous lady cop ruffles the feathers of the testosterone-run 12th; Chano nabs an obscene phone caller. Linda Lavin ("Alice") debuts as Detective Janice Wentworth.
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#24 - The Vigilante
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 9
Barney is visited by Inspector Luger, who complains that his men aren't disliked enough by the public; a neighborhood vigilante is well into his twilight years; Wojo collars a cross-dressing teamster.
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#25 - The Bureaucrat
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 7
Guests to the 12th include a drunken bureaucrat and the 12-year-old who robbed Chano's apartment; Wojo closes the precinct's favorite delicatessen for minor health-code infractions.
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#26 - Ambush
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 4
Yemana is shot in full view of disinterested bystanders, and Barney is offered a job in Florida.
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#28 - And Baby Makes Four (2)
Get Smart - Season 5 - Episode 8
CONTROL must defeat Simon the Likable while 99 delivers twins. Max and 99 escape and manage to get to the correct hospital in time for her to have twins, a boy and a girl. While everyone is congratulating Max, Simon tries to escape until he runs into the one person who doesn't like him, 99's mother.
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#29 - Social Worker
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 2
Weary of housework, Liz tries her hand at social work, to Barney's dismay; a master forger fascinates Harris.
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#30 - The Courtesans
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 5
A prostitute threatens to file harassment charges against Wojo; Rachel wants to move into her own apartment.
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#32 - The Guest
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 10
The 12th Precinct reluctantly guards a mob witness; Chano uses his co-workers' own cash stash to set up a narcotics buy.
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#33 - Pheasant Under Glass
Get Smart - Season 5 - Episode 1
On a mission for CONTROL to rescue Professor Milo Pheasant, Smart and 99 learn that he is imprisoned within an impregnable glass dome. KAOS has kidnapped Professor Pheasant and imprisoned him in a nuclear-glass cube. Max and 99 break into KAOS HQ to break him out, but they're unable to break the glass and forced to flee. As they're escaping, 99 reveals that she's pregnant, causing Max to get so excited that he reveals his identity as a secret agent to a reporter. This renders Max useless as an agent and eliminates CONTROL's plan to free the professor by having The Singing Agent, Rosa LaCosta, sing a special note that can shatter glass and have Max go undercover as her accompanist. To save his job, Max visits Dr. Proctor, who has discovered a way to spray paint a new face on people, and Max tries out several faces before picking one to help him infiltrate KAOS headquarters and rescue the professor.
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#34 - The Layoff
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 3
Barney, Fish and Yemana feel the crunch when a labor layoff forces them to do without Chano, Harris and Wojo; a manicurist goes deeper than the nail; a morose stockbroker takes to petty theft.
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#35 - Hurray for Hollywood
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 15
The Chief believes KAOS has set up new communication system, which may be connected with a theatre group. Smart and 99 become thespians even though Smart's dramatic efforts are overly exuberant. The pair makes their debut, unaware that KAOS has discovered their identity and is planning a lethally realistic ending to the third act.
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#36 - Heat Wave
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 5
A wife claims spousal abuse; Wojo and Wentworth are bait for a park rapist.
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#38 - Snow Job
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 3
The squad grapples with guarding a department store payroll and a flasher who attempts suicide in the bathroom.
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#39 - The Secret of Sam Vittorio
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 4
Thirty years earlier bank robbers Connie and Floyd met up with Sam Vittorio, who had robbed 192 banks. Now dying, Vittorio will only reveal the location of his hidden loot to his protégés, who look remarkably like Max and 99.
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#40 - The Sniper
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 16
A con man is selling charter flights to Saturn; Wojo and Luger are sniper targets.
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#41 - Absorb the Greek
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 19
The Chief takes up computer dating and winds up dating a gorgeous young woman. The Chief's boss (unseen) orders Max and 99 to follow the Chief to make sure that this romance is not a security risk. 99 also thinks that the Chief should be dating someone more his age, like her mother. The young woman is actually the wife of Dr. Paponickolini, who is giving the Chief a secret formula for eternal youth. The Chief arrives at Max's apartment for a dinner date with 99's mom but instead KAOS shows up and kidnaps 99's mother, thinking she's the wife of Dr. Paonickolini.
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#45 - Do I Hear a Vaults?
Get Smart - Season 5 - Episode 25
The Chief meets Smart at a public library to recover a book containing names and addresses of CONTROL agents. Max and Larrabee transport the book in an armored car to a bank vault, but Max accidentally locks the vault door on both the Chief and Larrabee. Guest Stars: Ned Glass, Herbert Voldand, Ann Summers, Robert Karvelas, George Sawaya
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#46 - Doomsday
Barney Miller - Season 2 - Episode 1
A disgruntled man with a belt of dynamite threatens to blow himself and the squad room ky high unless President Nixon agrees to speak with him; the plumbing goes kaput; Wojo arrests a phony man-of-the-cloth.
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#47 - Greer Window
Get Smart - Season 4 - Episode 24
CONTROL corners KAOS Agent Klineschmidt in a house and attempts to take him alive. Before they can do that, he manages to shoot Max in the buttocks. Forced to stay at home, Max amuses himself by using binoculars to spy on the office building across the street. The office he's watching belongs to Otto Greer, who is a government contractor. Top secret papers have been disappearing from his office so the Chief assigns 99 to work undercover as secretary to Greer. Max keeps an eye on 99's progress and discovers too late that Greer is a KAOS agent planning to kill both of them.
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#48 - Graft
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 4
An old friend of Barney's is assigned to investigate allegations of corruption in the squadroom; Chano is after an obscene phone caller.
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#49 - Hair
Barney Miller - Season 1 - Episode 12
A scruffy "Serpico"-type cop has good reason to hide behind unruly hair; Bernice discovers that Fish spent the afternoon in a massage parlor.
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