The BEST Episodes of Barney Miller

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Oct 24, 2019

Network: ABC (US)

Hal Linden stars in the title role as a NYPD captain in charge of a squad of oddball detectives and even stranger criminals.

Goodbye, Mr. Fish (1)

#1 - Goodbye, Mr. Fish (1)

Season 4 - Episode 1

A neighborhood vigilante group runs amok, and Fish is AWOL on the day of his retirement.

star 8.83
18 votes
Directors: Danny Arnold
Writers: Reinhold Weege, Danny Arnold
Vanished (1)

#2 - Vanished (1)

Season 6 - Episode 13

Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo.

star 8.50
16 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Tony Sheehan, Frank Dungan, Jeff Stein

#3 - Asylum

Season 3 - Episode 19

Marty is picked up for parole violation with a half ounce of marijuana; Wojo prematurely grants a Russian defector asylum.

star 8.44
16 votes
Directors: Alex March
Writers: Roland Kibbee, Tony Sheehan, Reinhold Weege, Danny Arnold
Eviction (1)

#4 - Eviction (1)

Season 4 - Episode 16

Barney puts his career on the line by refusing to forcibly evict the tenants of a condemned hotel, while Lugar tries to figure out what to do with his vacation time.

star 8.41
17 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Tom Reeder, Reinhold Weege
The Mole

#5 - The Mole

Season 2 - Episode 22

Fish considers an operation; a burglar known as ""The Mole"" leads Harris and Wojo on a merry chase through the city sewer system. Ron Carey plays the Mole, and returns as Levitt in the next season.

star 8.40
20 votes
Directors: Mark Warren
Writers: Danny Arnold, Chris Hayward, Reinhold Weege

#6 - Corporation

Season 4 - Episode 4

A quixotic environmentalist faces the high-priced lawyer hired by the chemical plant he's been assaulting.

star 8.39
23 votes
Writers: Lee H. Grant, Tony Sheehan, Danny Arnold
Jack Soo, a Retrospective

#7 - Jack Soo, a Retrospective

Season 5 - Episode 24

The cast step out of character to offer a tribute to Jack Soo, who died during the show's fifth season.

star 8.36
11 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: various

#8 - Fog

Season 6 - Episode 22

Barney is down in the dumps when he is passed over again for deputy inspector

star 8.36
11 votes
Writers: Frank Dungan, Jeff Stein, Tony Sheehan
The Judge

#9 - The Judge

Season 6 - Episode 9

A judge provides an attorney with the ultimate over-ruling—a gavel on the noggin; the crimes reported by a lonely woman emanate from daytime television soap operas.

star 8.35
17 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Frank Dungan, Jeff Stein, Tony Sheehan

#10 - Altercation

Season 8 - Episode 18

Harris and Arnold come to blows; a mugging victim confesses to a twenty-five year old crush on Barney.

star 8.31
16 votes
Directors: Alan Bergmann
Writers: Tony Sheehan
Computer Crime

#11 - Computer Crime

Season 5 - Episode 22

A computer firm has difficulty retrieving embezzled funds; an educated young man claims to be under the influence of a voodoo curse.

star 8.31
13 votes
Writers: Calvin Kelly

#12 - Vacation

Season 6 - Episode 3

A string of false alarms suggests that a sniper may be after a cop, but the detectives are preoccupied with Barney's posted vacation schedules and the case of a man who won't donate a kidney to his ailing brother.

star 8.31
13 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Frank Dungan, Jeff Stein
The Psychic

#13 - The Psychic

Season 7 - Episode 11

An accused mugger claims that he was answering a psychic vision; a language professor takes vandalistic umbrage to a grammatically incorrect billboard.

star 8.31
13 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Tony Sheehan, Frank Dungan, Jeff Stein
Homicide (2)

#14 - Homicide (2)

Season 7 - Episode 2

Harris woos the precinct's crime photographer, while Dietrich tracks down the hit man's intended target; Barney's frustration boils over when the new homicide-only edict results in the death of an old friend.

star 8.29
17 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Frank Dungan, Jeff Stein
The Car

#15 - The Car

Season 8 - Episode 3

A car thief's conscience gets the better of him ... after twenty-five years; Levitt saves a child from a precarious fate; an overzealous sanitation officer goes to extremes.

star 8.29
17 votes
Directors: Bruce Bilson
Writers: Nat Mauldin
Strike (1)

#16 - Strike (1)

Season 3 - Episode 21

An impending strike is on everyone's mind, except the woman who was robbed by her computer date. (Part 1 of 2)

star 8.29
14 votes
Writers: Reinhold Weege
Chinatown (2)

#17 - Chinatown (2)

Season 8 - Episode 12

Unless he confesses soon, Harris and Dietrich's unwilling roommate may witness another murder. Meanwhile, harassment charges are pressed against Lieutenant Scanlon.

star 8.27
11 votes
Directors: Danny Arnold
Writers: Frank Dungan, Jeff Stein
The Indian

#18 - The Indian

Season 5 - Episode 13

A woman has her shoes stolen - from her feet; Wojo is forced to arrest an aging Indian who only wants to die in the park.

star 8.26
19 votes
Writers: Reinhold Weege
Strike (2)

#19 - Strike (2)

Season 3 - Episode 22

Barney and Inspector Luger man the fort alone when the detectives go out on strike.

star 8.25
12 votes
Writers: Reinhold Weege, Tony Sheehan, Danny Arnold

#20 - Hash

Season 3 - Episode 11

Wojo brings hashish-laced brownies his new girlfriend made to the 12th Precinct, getting the detective squad stoned; while an actor and critic (""natural enemies"" says Harris) square off with dueling swords.

star 8.24
37 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Tom Reeder
The Spy

#21 - The Spy

Season 5 - Episode 15

A paranoid spy holds the precinct house at bay; the men bring in a disorderly mime.

star 8.24
17 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Tony Sheehan
Thanksgiving Story

#22 - Thanksgiving Story

Season 4 - Episode 9

The detectives clean up after three mental patients sit down to Thanksgiving dinner at an automat.

star 8.22
23 votes
Directors: David Swift
Writers: Reinhold Weege
The Recluse

#23 - The Recluse

Season 3 - Episode 7

A latter-day prophet claims the end is near - 5:30, to be precise; a man who hasn't left his apartment since World War II is brought in for refusing to serve jury duty. John Cassisi appears as Victor Kreutzer, a role he would continue to play on ""Fish.""

star 8.20
20 votes
Writers: Reinhold Weege, Danny Arnold
The Search

#24 - The Search

Season 5 - Episode 3

Off goes the moustache, as it's Harris' turn for cross-dressing mugging detail; the host of a kids' science show goes off the deep end; Barney's men reopen a twenty-eight year old missing persons case.

star 8.20
25 votes
Writers: Bob Colleary, Tony Sheehan
The Escape Artist

#25 - The Escape Artist

Season 1 - Episode 11

A self-avowed ""bird-man"" drops in; Barney holds a resourceful escaped prisoner for the FBI; Harris decides to write a novel, setting up one of the series' most durable storylines.

star 8.17
23 votes
Directors: Noam Pitlik
Writers: Howard Leeds, Danny Arnold, Chris Hayward