The BEST Episodes of Barney Miller
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Sep 17, 2019
Network: ABC (US)
Hal Linden stars in the title role as a NYPD captain in charge of a squad of oddball detectives and even stranger criminals.
#1 - Goodbye, Mr. Fish (1)
Season 4 - Episode 1
A neighborhood vigilante group runs amok, and Fish is AWOL on the day of his retirement.
#2 - Vanished (1)
Season 6 - Episode 13
Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo.
#3 - Asylum
Season 3 - Episode 19
Marty is picked up for parole violation with a half ounce of marijuana; Wojo prematurely grants a Russian defector asylum.
#4 - The Mole
Season 2 - Episode 22
Fish considers an operation; a burglar known as ""The Mole"" leads Harris and Wojo on a merry chase through the city sewer system. Ron Carey plays the Mole, and returns as Levitt in the next season.
#6 - Eviction (1)
Season 4 - Episode 16
Barney puts his career on the line by refusing to forcibly evict the tenants of a condemned hotel, while Lugar tries to figure out what to do with his vacation time.
#7 - Jack Soo, a Retrospective
Season 5 - Episode 24
The cast step out of character to offer a tribute to Jack Soo, who died during the show's fifth season.
#9 - The Judge
Season 6 - Episode 9
A judge provides an attorney with the ultimate over-rulingâ€”a gavel on the noggin; the crimes reported by a lonely woman emanate from daytime television soap operas.
#10 - Altercation
Season 8 - Episode 18
Harris and Arnold come to blows; a mugging victim confesses to a twenty-five year old crush on Barney.
#12 - Vacation
Season 6 - Episode 3
A string of false alarms suggests that a sniper may be after a cop, but the detectives are preoccupied with Barney's posted vacation schedules and the case of a man who won't donate a kidney to his ailing brother.
#13 - The Psychic
Season 7 - Episode 11
An accused mugger claims that he was answering a psychic vision; a language professor takes vandalistic umbrage to a grammatically incorrect billboard.
#14 - Homicide (2)
Season 7 - Episode 2
Harris woos the precinct's crime photographer, while Dietrich tracks down the hit man's intended target; Barney's frustration boils over when the new homicide-only edict results in the death of an old friend.
#15 - The Car
Season 8 - Episode 3
A car thief's conscience gets the better of him ... after twenty-five years; Levitt saves a child from a precarious fate; an overzealous sanitation officer goes to extremes.
#17 - Chinatown (2)
Season 8 - Episode 12
Unless he confesses soon, Harris and Dietrich's unwilling roommate may witness another murder. Meanwhile, harassment charges are pressed against Lieutenant Scanlon.
#20 - Hash
Season 3 - Episode 11
Wojo brings hashish-laced brownies his new girlfriend made to the 12th Precinct, getting the detective squad stoned; while an actor and critic (""natural enemies"" says Harris) square off with dueling swords.
#21 - The Spy
Season 5 - Episode 15
A paranoid spy holds the precinct house at bay; the men bring in a disorderly mime.
#22 - Thanksgiving Story
Season 4 - Episode 9
The detectives clean up after three mental patients sit down to Thanksgiving dinner at an automat.
#23 - The Recluse
Season 3 - Episode 7
A latter-day prophet claims the end is near - 5:30, to be precise; a man who hasn't left his apartment since World War II is brought in for refusing to serve jury duty. John Cassisi appears as Victor Kreutzer, a role he would continue to play on ""Fish.""
#24 - The Search
Season 5 - Episode 3
Off goes the moustache, as it's Harris' turn for cross-dressing mugging detail; the host of a kids' science show goes off the deep end; Barney's men reopen a twenty-eight year old missing persons case.
#25 - The Escape Artist
Season 1 - Episode 11
A self-avowed ""bird-man"" drops in; Barney holds a resourceful escaped prisoner for the FBI; Harris decides to write a novel, setting up one of the series' most durable storylines.