The BEST Episodes of Auf Wiedersehen, Pet

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Oct 4, 2020

Network: ITV

Auf Wiedersehen, Pet is a story of the rise and fall of seven very different people. There are three Geordies, one Scouser, one Brummie, one Cockney and one from Bristol. Auf Wiedersehen, Pet shows what life was really like for self - employed workers in the 1980's. And after 20 years they are reunited and begin working together again.

Who Won the War Anyway?

#1 - Who Won the War Anyway?

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Nov 18, 1983

Neville is suspended from work when his boss finds out that he's a bricklayer rather than a carpenter. Watching a group of men playing football, Neville spots an unexploded bomb which has been unearthed by a mechanical digger. He raises the alarm and is hailed as a hero. The boss finds a bricklaying job for him. There's a sudden vacancy because Oz has been in a fight with a group of Germans and has been sacked. The German workers go on strike until Oz is reinstated.

star 8.97
73 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Suspicion

#2 - Suspicion

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired Dec 2, 1983

Something very expensive goes missing from the hut and they all begin to suspect each other. So in a bid to catch out the culprit various plans are hatched but as usual all of them end in failure. But in the end it turns out that the thief isn't one of them at all but someone from outside the hut.

star 8.69
71 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
If I Were a Carpenter

#3 - If I Were a Carpenter

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired Nov 11, 1983

Dennis, Neville and Oz head for Germany, looking for work as bricklayers. They get work in Dusseldorf, but only two bricklayers are needed. Dennis makes out that Neville is a carpenter so that the trio can stay together. Neville isn't too happy with his work, since his carpentry skills are very limited. He decides to call it a day and head back home. That night, he goes out on the town and has too much to drink. He wakes up next morning with a tattoo on his arm, dedicated to someone named Lotte. He decides that he'll have to stay in Dusseldorf for the time being.

star 8.56
87 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Private Lives

#4 - Private Lives

Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired Dec 30, 1983

Dennis is getting it together with Dagmar from the site office. He takes her off to a hotel for a romantic interlude. Meanwhile, Wayne and Barry are 'on the pull' and have met up with a couple of Swedish air hostesses staying at the same hotel. Oz decides to play a practical joke on them, so he rings the hotel and leaves a message telling Barry and Wayne to go up to a particular room. The room is occupied by a German couple who think they're being mugged. Wayne and Barry have to 'do a runner' from the hotel. Their escapades ruin Dennis and Dagmar's chances of a romantic evening.

star 8.51
70 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Franc Roddam
The Accused

#5 - The Accused

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired Dec 16, 1983

Neville meets a German girl in a bar and they share a taxi home. The girl is later assaulted and Neville is arrested by the police for the assault and protests his innocence. but none of his English friends are of any use to him, it takes a group of German workers from the building site to track down the real culprit and force him to give himself up to the police, and therefore freeing Neville.

star 8.40
72 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Franc Roddam
Quo Vadis, Pet

#6 - Quo Vadis, Pet

Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired May 16, 1986

Dennis manages to get the upper hand, forcing Ally Fraser to "wipe the slate clean". Oz has a fling with Ally's girlfriend, Vicki. He also wins the Spanish lottery. The day of the wedding arrives and Barry and Hazel are married at sea. Ally Fraser turns up in another boat, closely followed by a Customs boat. The series ends with Kenny Ames' yacht heading for Tangiers, with the Customs in hot pursuit.

star 8.30
37 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
When the Boat Goes Out

#7 - When the Boat Goes Out

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired Feb 10, 1984

It's just about time to pack up and go home now that the German government has decided that all foreign workers will have to register and pay income tax. Dennis has decided to go back to Vera, so he plans to spend one last night with Dagmar. The rest of the lads go out on the town. When they get back to the building site, a fire starts and the hut is burnt to the ground. They all go round to stay the night at Dagmar's place. Next day, the lads go their separate ways and Dennis, Neville and Oz catch the ferry back to England.

star 8.24
45 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Franc Roddam, Stan Hey
Love and Other Four Letter Words

#8 - Love and Other Four Letter Words

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Feb 3, 1984

Dennis' wife, Vera, visits him in Dusseldorf and tells him that she wants to try to rescue their marriage. With Vera and the kids back home to consider, will he stay in Germany or Return to the Sunny shores of England? Meanwhile, Wayne has fallen in love with Christa, a secretary in the site office.

star 8.18
34 votes
Directors: Baz Taylor
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Franc Roddam
The End of the Affair

#9 - The End of the Affair

Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired Feb 8, 2004

Pru comes to the aid of Neville after he is kidnapped. Pru explains to Neville that Tarquin has not been entirely honest with him. Oz visits Barry in jail and finds that he's suffering badly. Oz makes a decision that will help Barry, but will damage his relationship with Ofelia.

star 8.18
34 votes
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Cowboys

#10 - Cowboys

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired Mar 28, 1986

A plumber named Harry Blackburn, who's mad about Country and Western music, joins the gang temporarily. He talks the gang into going for a night out at a Country and Western pub, where "Big Willie Osborne" does a turn. The lads go on strike in protest against Ally Fraser's treatment of Dennis. Fraser sends a gang of 'heavies' around to teach the strikers a lesson. The lads give them a "good kicking".

star 8.10
50 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
No Sex Please, We're Brickies

#11 - No Sex Please, We're Brickies

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Apr 4, 1986

Ally Fraser wants the conversion work at Thornley Manor to be finished quickly. He offers the lads some more work renovating his villa in Spain. Arthur Pringle discovers that Wayne didn't bother to get an import license for his German car. He tells the Customs & Excise and they impound Wayne's car. The lads help to get the car back and manage to finish the work at the manor. Before leaving, they brick up Arthur's front door.

star 8.09
47 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Home Thoughts from Abroad

#12 - Home Thoughts from Abroad

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Dec 9, 1983

Bomber's sixteen-year-old daughter runs away from her home in Bristol, so Bomber returns home to be with his wife while the search for their child continues. The missing daughter finds her way to Germany and turns up on the site looking for her father. The lads decide to hide her in the hut until Bomber returns. But can they keep her a secret from the Germans until Bomber returns?

star 8.04
48 votes
Directors: Baz Taylor
Writers: Franc Roddam, Stan Hey
For Better or Worse

#13 - For Better or Worse

Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired May 9, 1986

Hazel arrives in Spain and Barry tries to get wedding plans sorted out. Ally Fraser suggests that the happy couple should get married on Kenny Ames' yacht. Unbeknown to the lads, Fraser plans to use the wedding as a cover for smuggling his money into Spain.

star 7.97
37 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Marjorie Doesn't Live Here Anymore

#14 - Marjorie Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired Apr 11, 1986

Oz goes back to Newcastle and finds that his wife Marjorie has moved away and someone else is living in his flat. He goes to his son Rod's school and waits for the lad to come out. He learns that Marjorie is now living with an Italian named Sandro. She plans to move to Italy with him, taking Rod with her.

star 7.95
44 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
An Inspector Calls

#15 - An Inspector Calls

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired Jun 2, 2002

The lads discover that the past has a habit of coming back to haunt them. A police inspector arrives looking for Moxey and a vengeful Grainger puts a spanner in the works with the bridge-build. Dennis negotiates a peaceful solution, and Grainger agrees to go to Arizona. The bridge is finally completed - but they have a little surprise planned for Grainger! N.B. The Transporter Bridge is still in Middlesborough!

star 7.93
42 votes
The Lovers

#16 - The Lovers

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired Jan 27, 1984

Barry talks the lads into redecorating the hut, using paint 'redistributed' from the site stores. Oz pretends to be a rich man's son to impress a German girl. He falls in love with her, only to discover that she has a Turkish boyfriend who owns a local 'sauna parlour'. Oz almost ends up being knifed by the Turk, but is rescued when the Turks on the building site convince the wouldbe attacker that Oz is 'otherwise inclined'.

star 7.92
38 votes
Directors: Baz Taylor
Writers: Bernie Cooper, Francis Megahy
Britannia Waives the Rules

#17 - Britannia Waives the Rules

Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired Jan 4, 2004

Russia. A marble staircase. Oz descends in his dirty, worn white underpants to join the others over a morning cuppa. The house is magnificent - another job well done. It is payday, and after a celebratory vodka, the boys head outside for a final photo, where the house explodes behind them, leaving them penniless and with no way home. The lads head to the British Embassy, where Oz knows an old Geordie contact who tells the team about the existence of the Overseas Estates Development department which arranges for British workmen to travel round the world fixing up British Government property. The gang plan their letter of application on the way home: ""We are independent building contractors with a vast amount of experience. We recently reassembled the Middlesbrough Transporter Bridge in Arizona, which must count as one of the most famous erections in recent years."" Neville turns down the opportunity this time, but he is approached by a member of MI6, and is asked to work undercover.

star 7.92
38 votes
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Dick Clement
Last Rites

#18 - Last Rites

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired Jan 20, 1984

While visiting a local hospital, Dennis and Neville become friendly with a Geordie expatriot named Hedley. He stayed in Germany after 'leaving' the Army and now has a terminal illness. Meanwhile, Oz has come up with a scheme to make money by exporting hardcore pornaographic videos from Germany to England. He talks Barry and Moxie into investing in the scheme and looks for a way to smuggle the videos to England. When Hedley dies suddenly, Oz talks the rest of the lads into paying for the body to be taken back to England for burial. He plans to hide the porno videos in the coffin. Wayne is going home for a family wedding, so he's talked into visiting Hedley's sister and arranging for the body to be handed over. He discovers that she doesn't want anything to do with her brother, who was apparently thrown out of the Army for racketeering. Hedley is cremated in Germany and Oz learns that his investment has gone up in smoke.

star 7.91
45 votes
Directors: Baz Taylor
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Franc Roddam
The Alien

#19 - The Alien

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired Jan 13, 1984

MacGowan is a violent Irish nutcase. Nobody on the building site likes him and he's always getting into fights and causing trouble. And with Bomber away he ends up as an unwelcome guest in the hut. However the lads find an ingenius way of getting rid of him.

star 7.90
42 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Franc Roddam
Bridge over Troubled Water

#20 - Bridge over Troubled Water

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired May 12, 2002

There is trouble all round and the deal to sell the bridge falls through but help arrives in the most unusual form, a native American! Oz finds out his son is a 'pillow biter' (gay) and has to deal with it in his own way. And a hit man is sent looking for Moxey.

star 7.86
36 votes
Directors: Paul Seed
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
The Girls They Left Behind

#21 - The Girls They Left Behind

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Nov 25, 1983

Oz's wife, Marjorie, hasn't heard from him for quite a while and she's getting desperate for money. She goes to see Dennis' wife, Vera, and asks her where the lads are in Germany. Oz gets a letter from Marjorie, but marks it 'not known at this address' and sends it back. He takes a trip to watch a football match, gets drunk and wakes up on a plane bound for Newcastle. He makes his way home and gives Marjorie a sob story about not having any money. When Oz is still missing after several days, the lads back in Dusseldorf auction off his belongings and send the proceeds to his Newcatle address. He reappears to find that Marjorie has, apparetly, got the money she wanted from him after all.

star 7.82
51 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Law and Disorder

#22 - Law and Disorder

Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired May 2, 1986

The lads have a few days off work. Ally tells them to make a real effort to persuade everyone that they're tourist rather than illegal workers.

star 7.82
34 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
The Fugitive

#23 - The Fugitive

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired Jan 6, 1984

The lads go off for a weekend's fishing in the country, where they meet up with an English hitchhiker who is very mysterious, The lads suspicions grow when he later runs away from the police. However after a large confruntation the lads find out the truth, the young lad turns out to be AWOL from the Army. The lads persuade him to do the right thing and return to his unit.

star 7.78
40 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Ian La Frenais, Franc Roddam
A Law for the Rich

#24 - A Law for the Rich

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired Mar 7, 1986

The gang, minus Barry, arrive at Thornley Manor to start the renovation work. One of the locals reports them to the police, thinking they're housebreakers. They're staying at a local pub, where landlord Arthur Pringle takes an instant dislike to them.

star 7.77
48 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
Another Country

#25 - Another Country

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired Mar 14, 1986

It's discovered that Thornley Manor is a listed building, so the lads are forced to stop work. Arthur Pringle throws everyone out of the pub after he catches Wayne in bed with his daughter.

star 7.76
46 votes
Directors: Roger Bamford
Writers: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais