The BEST episodes of Two and a Half Men season 3
Every episode of Two and a Half Men season 3, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Two and a Half Men season 3!
Charlie is a well-to-do bachelor with a house at the beach, a Jaguar in the front, and an easy way with women. His casual Malibu lifestyle is interrupted when his tightly wound brother Alan, who's facing a divorce, and his son Jake, come to live with him. Together, these two and a half men confront the challenges of growing up; finally. Complicating matters are the brothers' self-obsessed, controlling mother, Evelyn, Alan's estranged wife, Judith and Charlie's crazy neighbor Rose, who wants to be a part of his life and is willing to do anything to be around. After the death of his brother, Alan Harper meets and befriends a lonely young man named Walden Schmidt who turns out to be a billionaire. Unable to afford his brother's home, Alan sells Walden the house, and as a way of showing his gratitude, Walden allows Alan and his son Jake to move in with him.
#1 - Ergo, the Booty Call
Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired 3/6/2006
Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.
#2 - Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Season 3 - Episode 20 - Aired 4/24/2006
Alan tries to win Kandi back. Meanwhile, Charlie starts to sleep with her mom, Mandi, and Judith gets set up with her father, Andy.
#3 - Santa's Village of the Damned
Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/19/2005
Alan starts dating a woman with a Martha Stewart complex. Before long she's running the house with an obsession for perfection.
#4 - Hi, Mr. Horned One
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/24/2005
Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.
#5 - Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/3/2005
Alan has been dating a lot, and Charlie soon finds out that it has been one woman - his ex-wife, Judith. He tries to stop Alan, and even brings Rose, Evelyn and Berta to interfere - but Alan ignores them all.
#6 - We Called It Mr. Pinky
Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/17/2005
Charlie learns he can't be in a long-lasting relationship, because of unresolved issues he has with his mother. Jake asks Charlie for advice about a girl at school.
#7 - That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 3 - Episode 24 - Aired 5/22/2006
Charlie and Mia start making their wedding arrangements. Things begin to fall apart when their two families meet each other. They eventually decide on a small ceremony in Las Vegas.
#8 - Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/26/2005
Jake gets suspended from school after drawing an offensive picture of a girl in his class that has large breasts. Meanwhile, Charlie is asked to watch over Alan's chiropractic office after pulling an all-nighter.
#9 - That Voodoo That I Do Do
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/14/2005
Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.
#10 - Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Season 3 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/8/2006
A girl from Jake’s school invites him to his first boy-girl party. Charlie and Alan help him get ready for it by giving him advice. Alan and Charlie get nostalgic and remember their first boy-girl party.
#11 - Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/10/2005
Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them
#12 - My Tongue is Meat
Season 3 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/27/2006
Charlie has trouble keeping up with Mia's healthy lifestyle, so he begins to sneak beers, cigars, and burgers behind her back. When Mia finds out what he was doing, Charlie has to decide if he is truly in love with her or just whipped.
#13 - Madame and Her Special Friend
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/21/2005
One of Charlie's elderly neighbors tries to seduce Alan, while Charlie tries to stop Jake from giving money to a televangelist.
#14 - And the Plot Moistens
Season 3 - Episode 21 - Aired 5/1/2006
Jake’s teacher has a meeting with Alan and Judith to discuss the lack of interest Jake has at school. Alan starts to fall for Francine, in a platonic way, because he is tired of the lack of intelligent communication he has with Kandi. Charlie helps Jake audition for his school musical.
#15 - Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/6/2006
Charlie arranges a romantic date with Mia in the hopes of consummating their relationship. Alan begins to date Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
#16 - Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Season 3 - Episode 19 - Aired 4/10/2006
Charlie is surprised to find out that Kandi has been living with them for the last three weeks. Alan is having a tough time helping Kandi earn a living. Charlie has lost his sense because of the dry-spell he is going through.
#17 - Arguments for the Quickie
Season 3 - Episode 23 - Aired 5/15/2006
Mia comes back to town with her dance troupe and invites Charlie to her performance. At first, he decides not to go and tries to convince Alan that he no longer has feelings for her. He goes to the see the performance and Mia explains that she wants some of Charlie’s sperm. Charlie responds by asking Mia for something.
#18 - Weekend In Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/19/2005
After falling off the roof, Alan needs Charlie's help in looking after Jake, which interferes with Charlie's social life.
#19 - Something Salted and Twisted
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/28/2005
Charlie helps Alan with his obsession of always having to get approval from the women in his life.
#20 - The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired 3/20/2006
Alan starts to have financial problems when he starts paying for his girlfriend's bills, so Charlie tries to get him to break up with her. Meanwhile, Judith is after Alan because he is late in paying his alimony check.
#21 - The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired 3/13/2006
Charlie is nominated for an advertising award, but he decides to boycott it because his arch nemesis always wins. The rest of his family tries to trick him into going. Rose is having relationship problems with Gordon and seeks help from Charlie.
#22 - That Special Tug
Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/9/2006
Charlie sees a therapist to learn how to deal with Alan's emotional insecurities.
#23 - Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/7/2005
Charlie wakes up with Rose the morning after her birthday party. Her irate father (Martin Sheen), comes to ask Charlie about what the future holds for him and Rose, but the unexpected happens when Evelyn shows up.
#24 - Humiliation is a visual medium
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 1/23/2006
Charlie finds himself in a relationship that is not based on sex.