The BEST episodes of Horrible Histories (2009)

Every episode of Horrible Histories (2009) ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Horrible Histories (2009)!

Sketches, cartoons and quizzes liberally splattered with blood and gore, based on the books published by Scholastic.

Last Updated: 7/1/2024Network: CBBCStatus: Continuing
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Episode 1
star
9.13
46 votes

#1 - Episode 1

Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 5/30/2011

Meet an annoying French prankster from the Middle Ages, witness bizarre Aztec food on Historical Masterchef, see what happens when Queen Elizabeth I needs the toilet, and learn how not to impress a woman in Victorian times -a painful lesson in manners. The truth about Dick Turpin in song; certainly no New Romantic.

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Episode 2
star
8.98
51 votes

#2 - Episode 2

Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 4/10/2012

Henry VIII appears on a TV show hoping to raise money from his antique abbeys. Also, Charles Darwin sings about his theory of Natural Selection, and a pirate captain aims to be Lord Sugar's next Historical Apprentice.

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Episode 1
star
8.87
54 votes

#3 - Episode 1

Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 4/9/2012

Dick Whittington pitches a movie about his life, Stone Age technology geeks queue for hours at the unveiling of the Bronze Age, and some German bomber pilots find an unfortunate use for a tourist guidebook to Britain.

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Episode 2
star
8.72
53 votes

#4 - Episode 2

Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 5/31/2011

Some medieval knights discover the most disgusting way to attack a castle, the Saxons demonstrate the stupidest way to lose a battle, a Georgian goes shopping in a modern pet shop, and the kings and queens of England demonstrate how to remember them all, through the power of song.

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Episode 13
star
8.00
6 votes

#5 - Episode 13

Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired 7/22/2013

Some of history's greatest characters serenade us with tales of their lives. Featuring the all-conquering Alexander the Great, the cash-loving Crassus, the feisty Joan of Arc, the brilliant but miserable Charles Dickens, and the very determined Rosa Parks.

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Episode 13
star
7.76
51 votes

#6 - Episode 13

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 7/9/2009

A lazy aristocrat invents the sandwich, the Romans host their own revolting cookery show and William Shakespeare is haunted by the ghost of King Richard III.

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Fashion Faux Pas
star
7.75
4 votes

#7 - Fashion Faux Pas

Season 8 - Episode 2 - Aired 6/3/2019

The Horrible History of (sometimes literally) dressing to kill. Henry VIII has beef over whose armour is best and Louis XV dresses as a hedge.

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Episode 1
star
7.72
136 votes

#8 - Episode 1

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 4/16/2009

A pirate captain worries about an early bedtime, a soldier from World War I struggles to cook with fake food and the four King Georges form a boy band.

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Episode 3
star
7.71
49 votes

#9 - Episode 3

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 6/1/2011

A confused World War I soldier spends his first day in the trenches, William Wallace launches his music career as a rock rebel, Lady Jane Grey wins a frankly terrible competition, and the Welsh women of Fishguard defeat a French invasion without even trying.

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Episode 7
star
7.63
60 votes

#10 - Episode 7

Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 5/28/2009

There is a terrible smell in the Houses of Parliament, Cinderella struggles with the Blitz, and Helen of Troy reveals her complicated love life.

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Episode 1
star
7.59
51 votes

#11 - Episode 1

Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 5/27/2013

The Saxon gods form an unlikely team of superheroes; famous astronaut Neil Armstrong reveals his new weight loss programme; we meet Georgian London's crime-fighting genius, and Rosa Parks sings about her struggle for equality.

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Episode 4
star
7.54
68 votes

#12 - Episode 4

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 5/7/2009

The Tudors sing their family history, Bob explains the complete history of Rome in two minutes, and a mad Victorian gentleman eats King Louis XIV's mummified heart.

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Episode 5
star
7.52
61 votes

#13 - Episode 5

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 5/14/2009

A priest makes a piano from live pigs, Emperor Caligula declares war on the sea, and there are some disgusting beauty tips from Ancient Egypt.

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Episode 10
star
7.47
43 votes

#14 - Episode 10

Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 7/6/2010

King Charles I sends someone else to get married for him, a new recruit regrets joining the Georgian army, and Queen Cleopatra reveals her weird beauty secrets.

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Episode 6
star
7.46
57 votes

#15 - Episode 6

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 5/21/2009

An evil Greek god appears on a daytime chat show, a rich Georgian swaps his wife with a peasant, and we meet some weird medieval monsters.

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Episode 11
star
7.45
55 votes

#16 - Episode 11

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 6/25/2009

Queen Victoria learns that her British comforts are not very British, a Viking warrior won't stop talking in rhyme, and on 'Axe Factor', the contestants try to become executioners.

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Episode 3
star
7.43
76 votes

#17 - Episode 3

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 4/30/2009

A Roman emperor finds a nasty alternative to candles, an Egyptian tries to save money on mummification, and the Roundheads and Cavaliers take part in Historical Wife Swap.

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Episode 8
star
7.43
47 votes

#18 - Episode 8

Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 6/21/2011

HHTV reporter Mike Peabody gets caught up in the French Revolution, Henry VIII enjoys a highly dangerous sport for children, Saxon King Ethelred the Unready suffers online bullying from the Vikings, and the Suffragettes set the record straight in song.

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Episode 1
star
7.40
57 votes

#19 - Episode 1

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 5/31/2010

A prank-loving emperor hosts a dinner party on Roman Come Dine with Me, the Durham Home Guard injure themselves while learning first aid, and the Viking rock band paint the town red... literally.

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Episode 4
star
7.40
53 votes

#20 - Episode 4

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 6/2/2011

An unusual Stuart highwayman doesn't always steal cash, a modern detective struggles to solve a series of murders in Emperor Caligula's house, HHTV goes undercover to prove allegations of cheating in Middle Ages jousting tournaments, and King George IV meets his dead relatives.

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Episode 12
star
7.38
53 votes

#21 - Episode 12

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 7/2/2009

A Victorian teacher is confused by her pupils' bizarre names, the Romans run out of animals to execute, and Queen Victoria advertises her exercise DVD.

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Episode 7
star
7.37
43 votes

#22 - Episode 7

Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 4/27/2012

Emperor Napoleon plays in a very unusual chess match, a Victorian inventor builds an anti-seasickness ship with one small design flaw, a snowball fight breaks out at a public execution and the British army hires a dead tramp to defeat the Germans in World War II.

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Episode 10
star
7.36
50 votes

#23 - Episode 10

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 6/18/2009

HHTV News reports live from the Battle of Thermopylae, Celt housewives find decorative uses for severed heads, and we learn the revolting truth about Roman toilets.

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Episode 6
star
7.34
41 votes

#24 - Episode 6

Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/20/2012

A confused Christopher Columbus declares he has found India and a Georgian woman reveals her very Stupid Death. Also, Victoria and Albert attend the Great Exhibition and Tsar Peter III brings a very weird case to the Court of Historical Law.

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Episode 9
star
7.34
47 votes

#25 - Episode 9

Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 5/11/2012

King Edward III gets married in a building site, Julius Caesar reveals his secret tips on hiding baldness, we learn the tricks of the criminal trade on the Real Victorian Hustle and we meet Renaissance Italy's most corrupt family: the Borgias.

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