The BEST Episodes of Horrible Histories (2009)
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Jun 30, 2020
Network: BBC One
Sketches, cartoons and quizzes liberally splattered with blood and gore, based on the books published by Scholastic.
#1 - Episode 1
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired May 30, 2011
Meet an annoying French prankster from the Middle Ages, witness bizarre Aztec food on Historical Masterchef, see what happens when Queen Elizabeth I needs the toilet, and learn how not to impress a woman in Victorian times -a painful lesson in manners. The truth about Dick Turpin in song; certainly no New Romantic.
9.24 
#2 - Episode 2
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired Apr 10, 2012
Henry VIII appears on a TV show hoping to raise money from his antique abbeys. Also, Charles Darwin sings about his theory of Natural Selection, and a pirate captain aims to be Lord Sugar's next Historical Apprentice.
9.02 
#3 - Episode 2
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired May 31, 2011
Some medieval knights discover the most disgusting way to attack a castle, the Saxons demonstrate the stupidest way to lose a battle, a Georgian goes shopping in a modern pet shop, and the kings and queens of England demonstrate how to remember them all, through the power of song.
9.02 
#4 - Episode 1
Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired Apr 9, 2012
Dick Whittington pitches a movie about his life, Stone Age technology geeks queue for hours at the unveiling of the Bronze Age, and some German bomber pilots find an unfortunate use for a tourist guidebook to Britain.
9.00 
#5 - Savage Songs Special
Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired Jul 23, 2013
Some of history's greatest characters serenade us with tales of their lives. Featuring the all-conquering Alexander the Great, the cash-loving Crassus, the feisty Joan of Arc, the brilliant but miserable Charles Dickens and the very determined Rosa Parks.
8.40 
#6 - Heroic Heroes & Villainous Villains
Season 7 - Episode 5 - Aired Aug 14, 2017
Horrible Histories takes a look at the world's greatest heroes and villains. On the heroic side, we have everything from Douglas Bader's frequent escapes to the first men on the moon and Martin Luther King Jr, whereas our more villainous side contains Al Capone and Rameses the Great, and Steve Biceps brings us History's Deadly 60.
8.00 
#7 - Deadly Dynasties
Season 7 - Episode 12 - Aired May 7, 2018
Horrible Histories takes a look at some of the most famous families that have shaped the world, including the Romanovs of Russia, the Tudors of England, and Ramesses and his children in Ancient Egypt ... all 162 of them! The First Emperor of China Qin Shi Huang takes the mic, and Rattus invites his nephew, Scrappus, to help explore the Great Rattus dynasty, but as we discover families are never straight forward.
8.00 
#8 - Fashion Faux Pas
Season 8 - Episode 2 - Aired Jun 3, 2019
From the ancient Egyptians pioneering smelling good (a heady mix of fat and perfume plonked on your head, so that it would gradually melt throughout the day and make you smell all lovely and fragrant), to Coco Chanel turning fashion for women on its head, this show brings you the Horrible History of looking good. Featuring some of fashion’s greatest innovations, pioneers, and victims, we look at how the way people have dressed has had an impact on their lives. We visit ancient Rome, where wearing a cumbersome five-metre toga was the law and elsewhere, while in 'Viking Eye for the Saxon Guy' some marauding Vikings take time out of their busy pillaging schedule to give Dave the smelly Saxon some tips on looking good, and smelling a little bit better. We visit Henry VIII, who is having online beef with the Holy Roman Emperor over (literally) dressing to kill, as they argue over who’s the best armour maker. Other royals featured include Elizabeth I (who is busy making her courtiers look exactly like her), and King Louis XV who, along with some of his courtiers, has dressed as a hedge for a fancy dress party, so that he can hide from his wife. Also, the Macaronis discover that their outrageous stylings aren’t fashionable any more, the Victorians advise us on how to properly dress for mourning, and we look at some of the least practical shoes ever.
8.00 
#9 - Heroic Home Front
Season 8 - Episode 9 - Aired Sep 9, 2019
Marking the eightieth anniversary of the outbreak of World War II, Horrible Histories looks at how the war affected those left back home in the UK, on the home front. We start with the initial panic following the declaration of war and the measures taken at home to prepare for an imminent Nazi invasion, which didn't actually turn out to be that imminent at all. However, the Nazis are busy planning their invasion - Operation Sea Lion is being carefully orchestrated to avoid damaging places in the UK that they have previously been to on holiday. We see how the blackout during the Blitz affected everyday life, and also how King George and Queen Elizabeth refused to leave Buckingham Palace while London was being bombed, despite being advised to head to Canada by their staff. We meet the 'ATA Girls' - the heroic women of the Air Transport Auxiliary led by Pauline Gower. It was their (horrendously dangerous) job to fly broken planes around the country, so that they could be fixed and put back into battle. The planes had no manuals, were often very badly damaged and had nothing in the way of guns mounted on them, so this was a hugely brave undertaking. We see how things on the home front change when the American GIs arrive, bringing with them items like chocolate and nylon tights, which had not been seen on these shores for some time! German spies were also a real concern for those on the home front, but we tell one real tale of a set of spies who were caught after they washed up in Scotland in possession of radios, guns and, most tellingly, German sausages. Finally, we chart the path to allied victory, including Churchill holding conversations with American president Roosevelt in his secret loo, and a barnstorming song as the nation celebrates VE Day.
8.00 
#10 - Ridiculous Romance
Season 5 - Episode 14 - Aired Feb 14, 2014
We find out what happens when Henry VIII takes part in TV show Dating In Darkness and meets latest love Anne of Cleves, discover the problems encountered by Queen Elizabeth I’s portrait artist, and are treated to romantic musical interludes from The Love Rats Club, plus Queen Victoria as she duets with Prince Albert. We also say hello to Rattus Rattus’s brand-new girlfriend Ratalie, who Rattus Rattus is hoping will be impressed by a romantic dinner of ‘cockroach in jus de rubbish bag’...
8.00 
#11 - Episode 1
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired Apr 16, 2009
Rotten Romans: Funeral Fights and Gladiator School Frightful First World War: Lice Wars and Ready Steady Feast: Ersatz Food Putrid Pirates: The Black Spot and Pirate Rules Savage Stone Age: Stone Age Tool Set and Chief's Funeral Vicious Vikings: Historical Hairdressers and Warrior: Viking v Monk Gorgeous Georgians: Twisted Fairytales: The Three Little Pigs (Georgian window tax), Georgian Elections and Born 2 Rule
7.89 
#12 - Ridiculous Romantics
Season 7 - Episode 3 - Aired Jul 31, 2017
Horrible Histories charts the path towards true love. Henry VIII enlists the help of maitre d' Fred Sirieix as he tries to find the right wife on Historic First Dates. Elsewhere, we sample some medieval Munich love magic, see how Renaissance men tried to impress the ladies, listen to some of history's greatest love letters, and watch as King Alfonso of Spain's wedding takes a turn he's not expecting...
7.86 
#13 - Ingenious Inventors
Season 7 - Episode 6 - Aired Aug 21, 2017
Mankind's most ingenious inventors are given the Horrible Histories treatment, as we take in everything from the invention of the wheel to the crisp. Featuring the Gutenberg press, the man who invented both the dictionary (very successfully) and manned flight (less successfully). Also the Greeks and the Chinese battle as to which of them are history's best inventors.
7.83 
#14 - Episode 13
Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired Jul 9, 2009
A lazy aristocrat invents the sandwich, the Romans host their own revolting cookery show and William Shakespeare is haunted by the ghost of King Richard III.
7.83 
#15 - Episode 3
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired Jun 1, 2011
A confused World War I soldier spends his first day in the trenches, William Wallace launches his music career as a rock rebel, Lady Jane Grey wins a frankly terrible competition, and the Welsh women of Fishguard defeat a French invasion without even trying.
7.76 
#16 - Episode 6
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired May 21, 2009
An evil Greek god appears on a daytime chat show, a rich Georgian swaps his wife with a peasant, and we meet some weird medieval monsters.
7.68 
#17 - Episode 7
Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired May 28, 2009
There is a terrible smell in the Houses of Parliament, Cinderella struggles with the Blitz, and Helen of Troy reveals her complicated love life.
7.67 
#18 - Episode 3
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Apr 30, 2009
Wicked Witches: Witchfinders Direct, Twisted Fairytales: The Frog Prince (witchcraft involving frogs) and The Middle Ages Witchcraft Show Vicious Vikings: Viking Beliefs , Eric and Asgot and Valhalla or Hel Potty Pioneers: Captain Scott and the South Pole Race Awful Egyptians: Making a Mummy (song), The History of Mummies and Shouty Man: All Purpose Ancient Egyptian Mummy Rotten Romans: Nero's Christian Candles and HHTV Sport: Lions v Christians Slimy Stuarts: HHTV News: Charles I's Execution and Historical Wife Swap: Puritans and Cavaliers
7.64 
#19 - Episode 4
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired May 7, 2009
The Tudors sing their family history, Bob explains the complete history of Rome in two minutes, and a mad Victorian gentleman eats King Louis XIV's mummified heart.
7.64 
#20 - Episode 5
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired May 14, 2009
A priest makes a piano from live pigs, Emperor Caligula declares war on the sea, and there are some disgusting beauty tips from Ancient Egypt.
7.56 
#21 - Monstrous Musicians
Season 7 - Episode 1 - Aired Jun 15, 2017
Horrible Histories reveals history's most monstrous musicians. From the earliest screeches of the Neanderthal, right through to Jimi Hendrix burning his guitar, Rattus Rattus guides us through the story of music making, even bumping into Simon Cowell at Beethoven's 'H Factor' audition.
7.56 
#22 - Episode 2
Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired Jun 1, 2010
A pirate captain regrets stealing a herd of seasick cows, a Georgian sportsman invents a whole new way of boxing, King Charles II raps about his party lifestyle, and the Georgian army goes to war against a bunch of naughty schoolboys.
7.47 
#23 - Episode 12
Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Jul 2, 2009
A Victorian teacher is confused by her pupils' bizarre names, the Romans run out of animals to execute, and Queen Victoria advertises her exercise DVD.
7.46 
#24 - Episode 12
Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired Jul 19, 2011
The people of Strasbourg literally can't stand still with 'Dance Fever', HHTV presenter Fearne Polyester reports from a bizarre Greek festival, two Celtic warriors hold a rap battle to see who is best at boasting, and King Charles II meets the man who tried to steal the Crown Jewels.
7.45 
#25 - Episode 7
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired Apr 27, 2012
Emperor Napoleon plays in a very unusual chess match, a Victorian inventor builds an anti-seasickness ship with one small design flaw, a snowball fight breaks out at a public execution and the British army hires a dead tramp to defeat the Germans in World War II.
7.45