The BEST Episodes of Call Me Fitz

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Jan 17, 2022

Network: HBO Canada

A morally bankrupt car salesman is forced to become business partners with his inner conscience, an off-beat do gooder intent on healing Fitz's mangled psyche, one hilarious disaster at a time.

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Honesty, Integrity and Low Mileage (1)

#1 - Honesty, Integrity and Low Mileage (1)

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Nov 28, 2010

The final numbers for the Fibbies are in, and Fitz is way out of contention. But there's a loop-hole - salesmen can enter as a team. As Fitz schemes to sign Larry as his 'plus one', Larry gets an anonymous letter: a clue into a past he no longer remembers. Though Fitz agrees to help Larry investigate his past in exchange for his help winning a Fibbie, mere hours before the Fibbies start, they end up trapped in an abandoned warehouse. Larry doubts his abilities as a conscience, and wonders if the world would be better without him. Fitz talks him out of his noose, and they get to the Fibbies just in time, but as Fitz practices his acceptance speech in the parking lot, a hood is thrown over his head and he's kidnapped. Let's just say the list of suspects is long...

star 7.72
36 votes
Directors: James Genn
Writers: Sheri Elwood, Tracy Dawson
Thirty Percent Less Pulp Fiction

#2 - Thirty Percent Less Pulp Fiction

Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired Sep 23, 2012

When the identity of Fitz is deleted "accidentally" from Public Records, he along with Larry, decide to go to Miami and get Fitz's long-form birth certificate so that he can run for City Council.

star 7.62
37 votes
Going Down Syndrome

#3 - Going Down Syndrome

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired Oct 17, 2010

Fitz tries to hook Larry up with a drunk chick, only to end up sleeping with Janet, the drunkest of them all. But the next morning Fitz discovers Janet wasn't drunk, she's brain damaged. Meghan meanwhile tries to get back on the dating horse. When she mistakes an attempted purse snatching for a come-on, she takes her mugger hostage at a motel. Larry thinks Fitz's latest predicament is a perfect opportunity to teach him about love and devotion. But it gets complicated when Ali shows up. Especially since her comatose mother has developed a communication technique with her finger twitches, and she has an actual case against Fitz...

star 7.53
72 votes
Directors: James Genn
Writers: Dennis Heaton, Steven Cragg
It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Fitz

#4 - It's All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Fitz

Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired Nov 4, 2013

It’s a rainy night at the Fitzpatrick house, and Larry takes the opportunity to use large amounts of alcohol to con the family into playing his favourite game: ‘Truth: the board game’. Truth is true to its name, and even Larry ends up discovering far more about the Fitzpatricks than he ever wanted to know… When they wake up the next morning to find a freshly dug grave in the backyard and a missing Elaine, the family must band together in order to re-discover those truths and figure out what happened the night before.

star 7.47
34 votes
Directors: Jason Priestley
Writers: Josh Saltzman
Ass Hickey

#5 - Ass Hickey

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired Sep 25, 2011

Broke, insomniac and paranoid, Fitz doesn't think things could get any worse, until a fortuneteller tells him he's fated to die by the next Beaver Moon. What the fuck is a Beaver Moon?

star 7.46
39 votes
Directors: Ian Bibby
Writers: Sheri Elwood

#6 - Semen-Gate

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired Oct 21, 2012

When the "Last Honest Man" approach is close to being sabotaged by Barry, Fitz's "supposed" illegitimate son, Fitz must try to save everything he can to stay in the race.

star 7.20
30 votes
The Hard Wiener of Truth

#7 - The Hard Wiener of Truth

Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired Nov 18, 2013

Still reeling from the shocking truth about his father, Fitz takes a drive down memory lane that leaves him with an even bigger identity crisis than he started with. Now that Fitzpatrick Motors is defunct, Fitz gets Josh and Larry to help him steal back “his childhood car, Betsy”, in hopes of selling her off to the highest bidder. Along the way he gets swept up in a flood of nostalgia that blurrs the line between man and machine. Meanwhile Ken, who’s out to relive some old memories of his own, gets a rude spiritual awakening when he tracks down a lost love from his past.

star 7.18
33 votes
Directors: Scott Smith
Writers: Matt MacLennan
Raising What's-His-Name

#8 - Raising What's-His-Name

Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 21, 2013

The Fitzpatrick family becomes interested in missing Baby Fitz when Josh stashed the profits from the baby brothel in his diaper. Fitz and Larry follow Baby Fitz’s trail to Chester Vince, who happens to be holding Ali Devon hostage in the back of his van. Fitz and Larry soon join Ali and the three must find a way to work together in order to keep a mentally unbalanced Chester from burning them alive in a quest to communicate with his alien overlord.

star 7.17
36 votes
Directors: James Allodi
Writers: Matt MacLennan
Brotherly Love

#9 - Brotherly Love

Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired Nov 25, 2013

After accepting Pat Childs’ offer to work at The O-Mobile dealership, Fitz quickly learns that life in the corporate world is not the cakewalk he hoped it would be. Thanks to Larry, Fitz discovers he could be in for a big pay out if he figures out a way to get canned. Yet, despite best efforts Pat refuses to give up on him leaving Fitz saddled with a major presentation to give that leaves him one step closer to embracing his inner Childs.

star 7.16
31 votes
Directors: Jason Priestley
Writers: Josh Saltzman
Long Con Silver

#10 - Long Con Silver

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired Oct 3, 2010

Fitz quickly unloads Elaine's car in hopes of putting their broken relationship behind him for good. But Larry is convinced it was a desperate plea to get her back in his life. Unfortunately for Fitz, that's exactly what happens. After manipulating Larry into a family reunion, Elaine gets Fitz on board to scam the Ruptals and get the car back. But its all part of a Long Con Elaine concocts to finalize her divorce and rid herself of all things Fitz once and for all...

star 7.15
73 votes
Directors: Scott Smith
Writers: Pat Bullard
And Baby Makes... Fuck! (1)

#11 - And Baby Makes... Fuck! (1)

Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired Nov 25, 2012

In order to repair the relationship between Fitz and Ken, Larry gets Fitz thrown in jail. Fitz realizes that there is one thing that he needs to survive, breakfast cereal.

star 7.13
31 votes
How Do You Say 'Blow Job' in Pennsylvania Dutch?

#12 - How Do You Say 'Blow Job' in Pennsylvania Dutch?

Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired Nov 20, 2011

Broke, sans wheels, and on the lam…Fitz and Larry must track down Sonja in order to prove that Fitz didn’t kill her. But where is she? And is it true the Amish are cannibals?

star 7.12
33 votes
The Kidney Stays In The Picture

#13 - The Kidney Stays In The Picture

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired Nov 14, 2010

Reeling from the Ali debacle, Fitz has a new plan to get rid of Larry: if he's good for once, there'd be no need to have a conscience. Larry would finally leave him alone. So Fitz sets up a charity drive for Ned the cripple - not a kid, but a curmudgeonly dude in a wheelchair. And to prove he's really altruistic, he promises to give Ned a kidney. Larry is sure Fitz won't go through with it. Which of course, he doesn't - especially when he learns he's feeling down because he has syphilis. The match testing never happened - it was a scam by Ned, who ends up harvesting Larry's kidney for sale on the black market instead...

star 7.12
67 votes
Directors: Jason Priestley
Writers: Ari Posner
Married To The Mom

#14 - Married To The Mom

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired Oct 31, 2010

Fitz is pleasantly surprised to discover his marriage to Babs fulfills his latent maternal longings. After Fitz fully regresses to a child-like state, Babs discovers he doesn't want a lover, he wants a Mommy. Appalled, Larry tries to get Ali to help break them up. But when it becomes clear that Ali's jealous of Babs, Fitz realizes who he should really be with. He chases after Ali and they start going at it in her car. But an errant elbow throws the car in reverse. It rolls over Babs, killing her instantly...

star 7.11
70 votes
Directors: Shawn Thompson
Writers: Heidi Gerber
The Back End

#15 - The Back End

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Oct 10, 2010

When Larry and Meghan buy Ken a birthday present, Fitz scrambles to come up with his own gift to blow Meghan's out of the water. But the only thing they have in common is cars and porn. So Fitz shoots a car-themed porn with Ken's favorite classic porn star Candy Box. But she's a little older than Fitz remembered. When her kids show up, and her back goes out, Fitz has to man-up and save the day. By co starring with Sonja...

star 7.11
71 votes
Directors: James Genn
Writers: Ari Posner
The Upside of Matricide

#16 - The Upside of Matricide

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired Nov 7, 2010

Being a widower has its perks; the pity, the gifts, the inheritance - which Fitz uses to buy a plot of land for his dream bar, The Summer Wind Lounge. Ali learns her mother's dying wish was an organic burial. Unfortunately it's illegal. But if anyone can help her skirt the law, it's Fitz. Together, they steal the body from the crematorium, and bury her on Fitz's new real estate venture. Ali is grateful for a sense of closure on her strained maternal relationship. So she thanks Fitz by banging him in the car. But when she learns Fitz used all of Babs' money to invest in his bar, she's done with him forever...

star 7.11
38 votes
Directors: Shawn Thompson
Writers: Dennis Heaton
The Rise And Fall Of Ethnic Man

#17 - The Rise And Fall Of Ethnic Man

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired Oct 7, 2012

Fitz attempts to prove that he is a friend of "ethnics" as he finds out that Chester has the main lead in the demographic. Fitz will stop at nothing to be on top.

star 7.10
30 votes
Fuck The Vote

#18 - Fuck The Vote

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired Oct 14, 2012

"Sex For Votes" tactics that Fitz uses backfires when the Ladies Auxiliary president is found dead. Larry's approach proves counter-productive than anything.

star 7.10
31 votes
The Totally Legitimate Death Of Meghan Fitzpatrick

#19 - The Totally Legitimate Death Of Meghan Fitzpatrick

Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired Oct 28, 2012

Fitz starts to bounce back as he starts to gain popularity. He plans to go after the hearts of everyone by claiming the "sympathy" vote for himself.

star 7.10
31 votes
And Baby Makes... Fuck! (2)

#20 - And Baby Makes... Fuck! (2)

Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired Dec 2, 2012

Ali goes into labor and Fitz attempts to get the dealership back before the little guy is born. He doesn't want his son to think he is a loser.

star 7.10
31 votes
Teetotal Recall

#21 - Teetotal Recall

Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired Nov 11, 2012

When Fitz finds out that the City Councilman doesn't have any rights to do anything, he decides that it will be good to find a way to repeal the by-law so that Summerwind will be open once again.

star 7.09
33 votes
This Business Has Been Homicide Free for X Days

#22 - This Business Has Been Homicide Free for X Days

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired Nov 21, 2010

A sniper takes siege of Fitzpatrick Motors. Larry is convinced Fitz's cowardice in withholding his syphilis diagnosis from his sexual partners has brought this upon them. But as Fitz points out, it could be any one of the hundreds of people who want him dead. Ali meanwhile tries to get over bad boy Fitz by dating milquetoast Chester Vince. As the Fitz Motors team narrows down the possible shooter, Josh concludes its Kara. They call Ali to negotiate with the suspect. But the real hero turns out to be Chester, who makes sure Kara isn't tried as an adult. Larry urges Fitz to disclose his STD to Ali. But in outing their relationship to Chester, he ruins Ali's chance of happiness with a good guy once and for all...

star 7.09
35 votes
Directors: Jason Priestley
Writers: Adriana Maggs, Jeff Detsky
Hell Hath No Drink Limit

#23 - Hell Hath No Drink Limit

Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired Dec 4, 2011

When Fitz finds himself transported to the afterworld, he discovers that he and Larry really are two parts of the same soul. Only problem is that Fitz wants to party in hell while Larry's got loftier accoms in mind.

star 7.06
33 votes
Apoca' Smokes Now

#24 - Apoca' Smokes Now

Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired Nov 18, 2012

Fitz, now Mayor, starts to go downhill and Larry steps in as his conscience and tells him that what he is doing is wrong.

star 7.06
33 votes
Honesty, Integrity and Low Mileage (2)

#25 - Honesty, Integrity and Low Mileage (2)

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired Dec 5, 2010

Fitz wakes up in a motel room with his captors, Ali, Sonja, and Julia, the leader of the Bad Men and the Good Women Who Love Them support group. But the women are divided on what they want to do with him - snip off his dick or record a hostage-style video PSA to warn women everywhere. When Sonja chickens out and calls Larry to come save Fitz, Larry talks the women out of a beheading, instead agreeing to take up Kangaroo court for the trial of Dick Fitz. Larry pleads on behalf of the defendant that they're lucky he's not worse than he is - his mother left him, his father doesn't want him to succeed, and that he's still capable of love. A mistrial is called when Larry and Fitz learn there's bigger fish to fry - literally. Josh has been conned into bombing the dealership and if they don't get there soon, Fitzpatrick Motors may be finished - for good.

star 7.05
37 votes
Directors: James Genn
Writers: Dennis Heaton, Sheri Elwood