The BEST episodes of My Wife and Kids season 5

Every episode of My Wife and Kids season 5, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of My Wife and Kids season 5!

Michael Kyle longs for a traditional life, but his day-trader wife Janet, gangsta rap-worshipping son Michael Jr., and brooding daughters Claire and Kady make his dream just that ... a dream.

Last Updated: 2/4/2024Network: ABC (US)Status: Ended
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Michael Joins a Gym
star
8.37
86 votes

#1 - Michael Joins a Gym

Season 5 - Episode 19 - Aired 3/8/2005

The same day Michael realizes he can't fit into his favorite pair of vintage jeans, he runs into an old high school friend, the muscular Daryl (Terry Crews), who doesn't look any older than when Michael last saw him. He enlists Darryl's help to get him back into shape and, in the process, becomes obsessed with looking fit and buff. Meanwhile, Franklin fails his first test and fears that Kady will no longer accept him.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Bahamas (2)
star
8.23
65 votes

#2 - The Bahamas (2)

Season 5 - Episode 17 - Aired 2/22/2005

While at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for a family vacation, lovebirds Michael and Jay find themselves stranded on the isolated Magic Island - along with a rapidly rising tide -- and the only other person there who can help them is Michael's talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier) -- who refuses to do so since they weren't willing to spend time with him when they had the chance. Meanwhile, Jr. leaves Vanessa and the baby behind so he can enjoy the resort's activities; Tony and Claire hang out at the beach bar and she realizes too late that her island drink contains alcohol; and Kady and Franklin run into his nemesis, Francesco Mumfordi, who has stolen one of Franklin's theories.

Directors: Dean Lorey
Writer: Don Reo
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Careful What You Wish For
star
8.10
102 votes

#3 - Careful What You Wish For

Season 5 - Episode 11 - Aired 1/11/2005

When Jay wishes that Michael would give her the kind of romantic attention that she sees newlywed Vanessa getting from Jr., Michael decides to kill Jay with kindness so he can get back to watching TV and ignoring her. Meanwhile, Franklin tells Kady that he thinks he's too short and goes to great lengths to appear otherwise.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Restaurant Wars
star
8.05
79 votes

#4 - Restaurant Wars

Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/16/2004

At first, Michael is skeptical that Jay can be successful at opening her own soul food restaurant. But his competitive and supportive sides emerge when the Hoos, the owners of the Chinese restaurant across the street, use sneaky tactics to put ""Jay's Soooooouuuul Kitchen"" out of business.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Michael Sells the Business
star
8.05
63 votes

#5 - Michael Sells the Business

Season 5 - Episode 24 - Aired 5/3/2005

With a lucrative bid from a large company offering to purchase Kyle Trucking, Michael convinces Jay that, if they sold their business, they'd be able to spend more quality time with Jr., Jr. and watch him grow up -- something they wish they could have done more of with their own kids. But the offer goes bust and Michael's nemesis, Bobby Shaw (Katt Williams), comes up with a surprising proposal. Meanwhile, Kady and Claire antagonize each other over who gets to spend more time in the bathroom.

Writer: Kevin Rooney
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
R.V. Dreams
star
8.04
72 votes

#6 - R.V. Dreams

Season 5 - Episode 25 - Aired 5/10/2005

Michael, who is determined to make record time driving from Connecticut to the Grand Canyon in a luxurious R.V., convinces his reluctant family to make the road trip so they can spend quality time together. Along the way, Michael puts the family through many misadventures -- including getting lost -- and in his haste neglects to read one of the R.V. manual's most crucial operational features.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Sweetheart's Day
star
8.01
76 votes

#7 - Sweetheart's Day

Season 5 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/1/2005

When Jay insists that Michael buy her a present for ""Sweetheart's Day,"" a reluctant Michael comes up with a scheme to base the price of Jay's gift on her attitude towards him at a particular moment. He shares his plan with Jr., Tony and Franklin, hoping that they will follow the lead, but the only lead is straight to trouble.

Directors: Annice Parker
Writer: Tony Hicks
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Graduation Day
star
7.99
73 votes

#8 - Graduation Day

Season 5 - Episode 23 - Aired 4/26/2005

It's Jay's college graduation day and Michael is determined to make it go flawlessly - but everything that could go wrong does, and the day seems destined for disaster. To make matters worse, Jay thinks Michael, who didn't want her to go to college in the first place, is trying to sabotage her special day.

Directors: Craig Wayans
Writer: Aeysha Carr
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Childcare Class
star
7.97
112 votes

#9 - Childcare Class

Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 9/28/2004

Michael fails a child-care course for grandparents, so Vanessa and Jr. refuse to let him baby-sit his grandchild.

Directors: Kim Wayans
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Bahamas (1)
star
7.96
71 votes

#10 - The Bahamas (1)

Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 2/15/2005

When the Kyles arrive at the Atlantis, Paradise Island resort in the Bahamas for their family vacation, Michael announces that all he wants to do is get some rest and relaxation-by himself. But no sooner does he settle into his lounge chair for some peace and quiet than his talkative and annoying golf buddy, Jimmy (David Alan Grier), shows up and insists that they spend time together. Michael is relieved to find a way out when Jay invites him to the isolated Magic Island so they can have some romantic fun. As their day winds down and it's time to leave, the boat never shows up to take them back and the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Directors: Dean Lorey
Writer: Don Reo
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Jr.'s Cartoon
star
7.95
60 votes

#11 - Jr.'s Cartoon

Season 5 - Episode 21 - Aired 3/29/2005

When Jr. wins a national competition for his cartoon entitled ""My Wife and Kid"" -- based on himself, Vanessa, the baby and the rest of the Kyle family -- it catches the attention of ABC. Michael becomes Jr.'s agent, but the meeting with the television executives goes badly, crushing Jr.'s dream opportunity, so now Michael has to find a way to rectify the situation. Meanwhile, Claire threatens to break up with Tony unless he can bring some ""umph"" into their relationship.

Directors: Randy Fletcher
Writer: Kim Wayans
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Pokerface
star
7.92
78 votes

#12 - Pokerface

Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/19/2004

Michael advises Jr. that it's ok to spend some time away from Vanessa and the baby, but his advice misfires when Jr. invites Jay along to their all-male poker game. Michael decides, in turn, to crash Jay's all-female book club, where they're discussing the latest book by Angeline Boudreaux.

Directors: Damien Wayans
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Wedding
star
7.92
76 votes

#13 - The Wedding

Season 5 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/30/2004

Jr. and Vanessa announce that they want to get married in two weeks, Vanessa having told Jr. that she wants a small, simple wedding. Michael and Jay offer to help plan it, but instead of something simple and sweet, they plan an elaborate and expensive ceremony that includes dolphins, a castle and 751 guests. Frustrated, Vanessa tells Jr. he needs to regain control of things, forcing him to decide whether he should stand up to Michael.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Proposal
star
7.91
69 votes

#14 - The Proposal

Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/9/2004

Jr. is finally ready to propose to Vanessa, but every time he tries to do so, something interrupts him, including Michael and Jay -- who are preparing to compete against each other in a karaoke competition.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Silence is Golden
star
7.88
76 votes

#15 - Silence is Golden

Season 5 - Episode 15 - Aired 2/8/2005

Michael reluctantly accompanies Jay on a meditation weekend, where he has trouble following the rule of silence.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Michael's Sandwich
star
7.84
75 votes

#16 - Michael's Sandwich

Season 5 - Episode 22 - Aired 4/12/2005

Under a time deadline to catch his flight, Michael tries to prepare his signature, masterpiece sandwich to take with him on the plane. But various family distractions delay his getting to the airport, and his beloved sandwich is searched by suspicious security guards.

Writer: Dean Lorey
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Fellowship of the Baby
star
7.76
78 votes

#17 - The Fellowship of the Baby

Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/12/2004

When an overwhelmed Jr. thinks he is not smart enough to take care of his own son, Michael tells Jr. that ""Jr., Jr."" is a ""magic baby,"" and that every time he holds him, it will make Jr. smarter. The ploy works, but in the process Jr. becomes somewhat arrogant with his new-found knowledge, so Michael brings Franklin in so that the two geniuses can match wits. Meanwhile, Kady catches Claire sneaking back into her bedroom after hours and threatens to tell their parents, unless Claire does some favors for her.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The 'V' Story
star
7.75
83 votes

#18 - The 'V' Story

Season 5 - Episode 26 - Aired 5/17/2005

Now that the kids are almost out of their hair, Jay insists that Michael have a vasectomy so they can feel free to enjoy themselves, but Michael is reluctant to go through with the operation.

Writer: Kerry Parker
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Fantasy Camp (1)
star
7.72
130 votes

#19 - Fantasy Camp (1)

Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/21/2004

Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

Directors: Dean Lorey
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Return of Bobby Shaw
star
7.70
84 votes

#20 - The Return of Bobby Shaw

Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/23/2004

Micheal's enemy, Bobby Shaw tricks Jr. into signing a contract making Jr. his slave. When Micheal tries to get him out of the contract,they end up in a dance off.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Study Buddy
star
7.70
82 votes

#21 - Study Buddy

Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired 1/25/2005

Michael feels neglected because Jay is spending all of her time studying for her psychology final. He decides to tutor her, but his efforts cause her to fail. To make it up to her, he tries to bribe her professor to let her re-take the test. Meanwhile, when Kady thinks Franklin prefers her smart friend over her, she tries to act more ""brainy.""

Directors: Ron Moseley
Writer: Kim Wayans
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Fantasy Camp (2)
star
7.68
116 votes

#22 - Fantasy Camp (2)

Season 5 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/21/2004

Michael can't focus on much else after learning that he'll be going to sports legend Michael Jordan's fantasy basketball camp in Las Vegas. Everyone shares his excitement – but for different reasons – and finds some reason as to why they should tag along. Once there, Michael learns that there's been a mix-up with the game schedule, so he resorts to some inventive ploys of his own to ensure he gets to play his idol.

Directors: Dean Lorey
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
They Call Me El Foosay
star
7.66
98 votes

#23 - They Call Me El Foosay

Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/18/2005

When Vanessa innocently buys Jr. a foosball game, Jr. discovers his competitive nature and becomes obnoxious when he wins. When Michael challenges Jr. and wins, he initially wants to teach his son a lesson about being a good winner. But then when Michael continues to win, his ""fatherly lesson"" goes out the window and instead he becomes obsessed with playing foosball. Desperate, the Kyles have to come up with a plan to break the game's hold on Michael.

Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
The Remodel
star
7.64
76 votes

#24 - The Remodel

Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 3/1/2005

Realizing that the garage is no longer a suitable living situation for Jr., Vanessa and the baby, Jay insists that Michael have it remodeled. When the contractor bids are too expensive for his taste, Michael decides to take on the job himself, with Jr.'s help. But when they get in over their heads, Franklin -- who happens to be a certified contractor - has to come to their rescue.

Directors: James Wilcox
Watch Now:AmazonApple TV
Celibacy
star
7.35
71 votes

#25 - Celibacy

Season 5 - Episode 20 - Aired 3/15/2005

When Jay tells Michael that their love life will be even better if they are celibate for six months, Michael is willing to abide by her wishes, although reluctantly. Meanwhile, Franklin and Kady plant some seeds in the ground to symbolize their growing love for each other, but the seeds grow into an ingredient for a love potion that Jay uses to spice up her romantic dinner for Michael.

Watch Now:Apple TV