The WORST episodes of Taxi
Every episode of Taxi ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Taxi!
Taxi's success was due to its excellent writing, Burrows's award-winning directing using his innovative four-camera technique, and its largely unknown but talented cast. Danny DeVito's Louie DePalma soon became one of the most despised men on television--possibly the most unredeemable and worthless louse of a character ever to reside on the small screen. Andy Kaufman's foreign mechanic Latka Gravas provided over-the-top comedy within an ensemble emphasizing subtle character humor.
#1 - Tony and Brian
Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/8/1980
Tony has been spending time with young Brian, who is now out of his wheelchair and is seemingly back in good health. Tony has really enjoyed all the time spent with Brian, and the gang urges Tony to try to adopt the orphaned boy. It turns out, however, that Brian is trying to get a rich family to adopt him and has seemingly found one, the Brennans. Nonetheless, Tony and Alex go to visit Brian at the Brennans, so Tony can ask Brian if he wants Tony to be his father. Brian is touched, but claims he has to think of his future and thus, would rather stay with the Brennans. Later, Brian shows up at Tony's apartment with a suitcase, saying he was rejected by the Brennans and is there to stay. Tony is still hurt that Brian initially rejected him, though, and makes things a little tough on Brian before he agrees to let him stay.
#2 - Louie's Mother
Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 3/26/1981
Louie is reveling in the news that he's moved his mother out of his apartment and into a nursing home and is throwing a party to celebrate, inviting only Alex. Alex grudgingly shows and learns that the party is a sad affair, the only other guests being three losers that soon leave to go to another party. Louie confesses to Alex that he's actually depressed-- his mom actually moved out after they had a fight and he misses her. Louie's depression gets worse over the days to come and Alex convinces him to go make up with his mother. Louie goes to see his elderly mother, who initially won't speak to him, but eventually agrees to come home with him and all is well again.
#3 - Zen and the Art of Cab Driving
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 3/19/1981
Jim picks up two men in his cab and overhear them talking about the secret to success: dynamic perfectionism. Jim takes it to heart and decides to use the technique to reach his goal, which he won't reveal to the cabbies. Soon, Jim becomes the perfect cab driver, setting company records on every shift. After a few weeks, Jim gives up, announcing that he's reached his goal and can no longer stand to work so hard. He invites the gang over to his apartment to reveal what he's been working so hard for. Upon arrival, they see that his goal was a room full of televisions, with satellites, cable, VCRs, and video games - his ticket to the global village. The gang is unimpressed at first, until each of them gets sucked into watching exciting things on the various televisions.
#4 - Out of Commission
Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/12/1981
After Tony is beaten badly in his most recent boxing match, the state takes his boxing license away. Tony is depressed, because despite his losing record, he fancies himself a boxer by trade, and will be giving up on his dream. Soon, Tony's manager comes to the garage and tells Alex that Tony has bought the license of a retired boxer named Kid Rodriguez ("the pride of San Juan") and plans to fight under that name. What's more he has a fight that very evening. The gang shows up in Tony's locker room before the fight and try to talk him out of the illegal activity of fighting under an assumed name, not to mention endangering his life after the boxing commission had mercifully stripped Tony of his license. Tony goes through with the fight nonetheless, but at the opening bell, Alex gives him some food for thought—that Tony could easily be badly hurt or hurt someone else. Tony tries to explain the referee that he doesn't want to fight after all, but inadvertently hits his opponent and knoc
#5 - Elaine's Old Friend
Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 2/26/1981
In her cab, Elaine picks up a woman who turns out to be her old high-school rival, Mary. Elaine is embarrassed that she is a cab driver, especially since Mary heads a prestigious ad agency, so to save face, Elaine makes up a story about having a wonderful boyfriend who is a Columbia University professor. Over the next few days, Mary calls Elaine to try to arrange a dinner with their respective boyfriend's, but Elaine keeps making excuses, as she is ashamed that she made up a lie about having a boyfriend. When Elaine is about ready to confess her lie to Mary over the phone, Alex grabs the phone, pretending to be Elaine's boyfriend, and accepts her dinner invitation for that evening. At dinner, Alex is so charming, in an effort to make their relationship look very loving, that all of a sudden, Mary and her boyfriend become jealous that they don't have such an exciting relationship. Meanwhile, even Elaine is swept up in the moment, and is taken by Alex's romantic acting job. Having d
#6 - The Costume Party
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 2/19/1981
Bobby finds a fancy briefcase in the back of his cab, and when the cabbies are going through it, with the intention of returning it to its rightful owner, they find an appointment book that shows appointments with various celebrities. They also find an invitation to a cocktail party on a yacht. Thinking that this is their chance to meet celebrities, they dress up and crash the cocktail party, and are soon star struck with costumed people they think are stars. They eventually realize that it's a party for realtors (who evidently have famous clients) and they leave, disappointed.
#7 - The Call of the Mild
Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 1/21/1981
After witnessing Bobby playing a lumberjack in a beer commercial, the guys are inspired to go camping and rough it in the woods for a week. They opt for a hunting cabin 100 miles away from civilization in the middle of winter, and their guide is justifiably concerned they won't make it, but they reassure him that they're fine and to come back for them in a week. They soon regret their decision when they learn that there is no electricity in the cabin. To keep their food from spoiling, they put their groceries outside in the cold, but animals eat them during the night. Somehow they make it through a week, starving, unshaven, and barely coherent, but due to a snowstorm, their guide doesn't come back for them. They decide that they'll need to hunt for food to survive any longer, but the guys can't bring themselves to shoot anything. Finally when a wild turkey walks into their cabin, Alex rises to the occasion and shoots it. Jim says a prayer over the turkey dinner, which consoles Alex, up
#8 - Fathers of the Bride
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 12/3/1980
Alex learns through a wedding notice in the newspaper that his daughter is getting married in New York. Alex is very upset that he hasn't been invited and calls his ex-wife, whose secretary explains that he was specifically not invited. Alex crashes the reception anyway, bringing Elaine with him. Cathy, his daughter, is thrilled to see him and asks why he didn't respond to her invitation. Alex gets angry again and tells off his ex-wife, insulting her weight in the process. Alex eventually feels guilty that he insulted his ex-wife and he pulls her aside and apologizes. They then start to reminisce and soon find that they are still somewhat attracted to each other. When they are about to kiss, Cathy finds them and lets them know how happy she is to see them together and asks them to hug. They do, and everyone is on good terms at the end.
#9 - Louie's Rival
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 11/19/1980
Louie and Zena are running into trouble in their relationship, and Zena dumps him after confessing that she's been dating Dwight, a bartender at Mario's. A depressed Louie tells Alex about it over drinks at Mario's, and when they suspect that Dwight is working the bar, Alex goes up to talk to him. Dwight then tells him that he's breaking up with Zena for getting serious too quickly. Alex shares the news with Louie, who sees an opportunity to get Zena back on the rebound. Zena initially rejects him, but after Louie gives a heartfelt speech about what Zena means to him, she takes him back, despite her better intentions.
#10 - What Price Bobby?
Season 2 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/22/1980
Bobby feels very lucky when a top notch theatrical agent (Nora) is in his cab. He makes a pitch to her, telling her about what a good actor he is, and initially she shuns him, but later agrees to watch him in the play he currently stars in. Sure enough, Nora sees him and then agrees to work with him, but it soon becomes evident that she has more than a business interest in him. Nonetheless, he begins a relationship with her, and his career is suddenly really starting to take off. Soon enough, Bobby is feeling as though he's prostituting himself and eventually gets up the courage to tell Nora he wishes to keep their relationship on a business level. This does not sit well with Nora, who not only stops representing him, but in their final argument, takes away Bobby's self respect and his shoes!
#11 - A Grand Gesture
Season 5 - Episode 23 - Aired 5/25/1983
Newly wealthy Jim gives each of the gang $1000 to give away, in an effort to teach them how good it feels to give someone else $1000. Latka & Simka give the money to their minister, who protests loudly (as is their custom) but accepts the money nonetheless. Tony uses the money to buy his friend Walt a large TV set. Elaine (inexplicably) gives the money to her daughter, suggesting that she split it with her brother. Louie gives the money to Jeff, who won't accept Louie's "dirty money" until he learns it was from Jim. Alex has trouble finding someone to give the money to until he comes accross an old lady in his cab with seven kids.
#12 - The Reluctant Fighter
Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/25/1979
Tony seems to get a big break in his boxing career when his manager informs him that aging former champ, Benny Foster, has selected him as an opponent in his comeback fight. At the press conference before the fight, however, Foster announces that he's coming back to inspire (and presumably, financially aid) a wheelchair bound child, Brian Sims, in need of a kidney operation, who thinks of Foster as his hero. Tony, thinking this is a no-win situation, doesn't want to even go through with the fight, but Alex convinces him that this is still a big break for him and that he should go for it. Tony not only ends up fighting, but knocking Foster out, but still feels bad about disappointing Brian. Tony speaks to Brian in the locker room, hoping it will make him feel better, but Brian punches him. Eventually, Tony prevails upon Brian that he wants to be his hero, and the boy agrees—at least until Tony loses a fight.
#13 - Jim Gets a Pet
Season 2 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/18/1979
The gang goes to the track and Jim falls in love with horse racing. Jim starts gambling at the track every day, until Alex tells him of the evils of gambling. Meanwhile, Jim turns out to have already won $10,000 at the track, and what's more, he bought the long-shot horse that he won most of the money on. Jim renames the horse Gary and keeps him in his apartment. However, when the gang comes over to check on Gary, they found he has died. When a depressed Jim returns to the garage, the gang convinces him to hold a funeral service for Gary (since Jim is an ordained minister, after all). Jim gives a touching eulogy that leaves everyone in tears.
#14 - Elaine's Secret Admirer
Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/4/1979
Elaine is upset after having just ended a relationship, but soon begins receiving love poems from a secret admirer. She is eventually convinced that the poems are coming from a new handsome cab driver named Don, and they begin dating. However, Jim has confessed to Alex that he has been the one writing the letters, in an effort to make Elaine feel better. Alex reveals this to Elaine, so she won't continue dating Don under false pretenses. This upsets Elaine greatly, but she is later comforted when she gets home by the gift of a metal sculpture that Jim has made for her out of the roof of his van.
#15 - Latka's Revolting
Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/27/1979
Latka is listening to a radio station that broadcasts in his native language and learns that revolution has broken out in his country. Panicking, he is visited by his friend, Baschi, who emigrated to the States with him, and who has come to fetch Latka to go home to fight in the revolution (it turns out Latka has somehow reached the rank of general in his country's army). A farewell party is thrown for Latka at Mario's, and before they have to leave for the airport, Elaine asks Baschi to draw a map of their country, in an effort to learn more about where they will be fighting. Through Baschi's drawing of where the enemy troops will be situated, it becomes clear that the revolutionaries have an impossible task ahead of them, and Latka thinks better of leaving (as do the rest of his fellow countrymen).
#16 - Alex's Romance
Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/20/1979
Alex falls for Joyce, an actress friend of Bobby's, in part because (seemingly) he marvels in being a stabilizing factor in her life. When she gets an acting job in Los Angeles, he prepares to propose to her, in the hopes of keeping her in New York. When she learns of his plans, though, she discourages this, and they part on sad but positive note. Later, Jim hilariously and unwittingly makes Alex feel better, involving a case of mistaken identity.
#17 - The Apartment
Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/13/1979
When it is discovered that Latka is living at the garage after being kicked out of his apartment, Alex helps him find a place. Latka is able to find one on his own and invites Alex to see it. The apartment appears to be a beautiful luxury penthouse, and he has misunderstood that the $3000 rent is monthly, as opposed to a one time fee. Alex is about to get Latka out of the arrangement, when he gets the bright idea that the whole gang can share the apartment for the month and see how the other half lives. When the month is up, the gang is reluctant to give up their decadent new lifestyle, so they decide to throw a "rent party" in the hopes of staying another month. However, all the party goers (except Elaine) are male and demand their money back when they see there are no available women. Having lost their apartment, the cabbies agree to help Latka find a new place.
#18 - Substitute Father
Season 1 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/15/1979
With Elaine going out of town to visit her sick aunt, the guys at the garage takes turns watching over her son so that he can compete in a spelling bee.
#19 - Sugar Mama
Season 1 - Episode 14 - Aired 1/16/1979
Alex befriends a wealthy elderly lady who pays him to take her around the city.
#20 - Get Me Through the Holidays
Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/16/1982
Alex's ex-wife, Phyllis, depressed and lonely, comes to see Alex, who takes pity on her and includes her in his holiday plans. This turns ugly, when she manages to bring the whole gang down with her self-pity. Her Christmas present to Alex is that she won't bug him for New Year's, which turns out to be the best gift she could give him.
#21 - Bobby's Roomate
Season 3 - Episode 15 - Aired 4/9/1981
Elaine is forced out of her apartment when her building goes co-op and moves into Bobby's place while he's away with a touring stage production. Soon, Bobby returns because he is kicked off the tour for fooling around with the director's daughter, and suddenly, he and Elaine are living together. A few days later, Elaine tells Alex how much she's enjoying living with Bobby, when suddenly she gets a call from her boyfriend, who breaks up with her. Elaine leaves upset, and Alex briefs Bobby to look out because Elaine is vulnerable and may want physical companionship. That night, Elaine wakes up Bobby to talk and drink some wine with her, then Bobby panics that she is coming on to him, and calls Alex. When Alex arrives in his robe and slippers, having run 25 blocks through the snow to get there, Elaine gets upset that they have misinterpreted her actions. The guys are ashamed at their chauvinism and they all make up.
#22 - Tony's Baby
Season 5 - Episode 21 - Aired 4/20/1983
Tony is depressed when he learns his girlfriend, Vicki (also introduced in the "Shloogel Show" episode) is pregnant. He decides to "do the right thing" and marry her, although when he talks to her, he's clearly not too thrilled about it. As a result, she storms off and later refuses to take his calls. This makes Tony's mood even worse, but meanwhile he has scored a crucial boxing match with a ranked contender. Unfortunately, his heart isn't in it and during the match, he initially gets knocked down then he gets up but just seems to be going through the motions. Midway through the bout, his manager somehow inspires him and Tony appears to turn the fight around. As the decision is being announced, Vicki appears and they aggressively talk things out. Just as the bout his been awarded to Tony's opponent on a split decision, Vicki agrees to marry Tony, who throws his hands in victory, despite having lost the fight.
#23 - Arnie Meets the Kids
Season 5 - Episode 20 - Aired 4/13/1983
Elaine is seriously dating the nerdy Arnie, also introduced in the Shloogel Show episode earlier this season, and decides it's time for him to meet her kids although she isn't sure if that's a great idea. Arnie is also very worried about the meeting and when he meets them, he tries a little too hard to make him their favorite person. In the process, he gives them presents and even money, to Elaine's dismay. In an effort to set things right, Arnie tells the kids that he didn't mean to try to buy their affection and it turns out they still like him. Elaine then realizes that now that the kids like Arnie so much, she's pretty much stuck with him-- but she's pleased about this.
#24 - Louie and the Blind Girl
Season 5 - Episode 19 - Aired 4/6/1983
Louie plans to his girlfriend, Judy (a blind woman introduced to him earlier this season by Latka & Simka), but before he can do it, Judy tells him that she's having an operation to get her sight back. Louie then gets cold feet, worried that she'll reject him because of his looks. Alex talks Louie through his insecurities and Louie goes to the hospital to support Judy after her surgery. It turns out the surgery is a success and she still loves Louie after seeing him. Louie is thrilled and decides to buy her a real diamond before he proposes (since she can now see and may be able to tell the difference).
#25 - Alex Gets Burned by an Old Flame
Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 3/30/1983
Diane, an old friend of Jim's comes to the garage looking for Jim, and Alex takes a liking to her. Alex makes some less than flattering remarks about Jim, not realizing that she and Jim have begun a romantic relationship. When Jim confronts Alex about the things he said, Alex justifies his comments with examples of crazy things that Jim has done. Jim is touched that Alex remembered all those things about him and all is well.