The WORST episodes of Taxi
Every episode of Taxi ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Taxi!
Taxi's success was due to its excellent writing, Burrows's award-winning directing using his innovative four-camera technique, and its largely unknown but talented cast. Danny DeVito's Louie DePalma soon became one of the most despised men on television--possibly the most unredeemable and worthless louse of a character ever to reside on the small screen. Andy Kaufman's foreign mechanic Latka Gravas provided over-the-top comedy within an ensemble emphasizing subtle character humor.
#1 - Shut It Down (2)
Season 2 - Episode 20 - Aired 2/5/1980
In the second half of this two-part episode, the cabbies are back on the road after the strike has been settled. Meanwhile, Elaine is dreading the date with Louie and is drunk, sedated, and dressed as dowdy as possible, in the hopes of getting it over with quickly and painlessly. Louie takes her to a Polynesian restaurant/bar and they drink heavily and dance, in hilarious fashion, although Elaine is seemingly not enjoying any of it. At the door of her apartment though, Louie cons her into saying that she didn't have such a terrible time. He then convinces her to give him a little kiss goodnight, but when she attempts to give him a small peck, Louie, being true to form, gives her a rather aggressive open-mouthed kiss, that has them rolling on the floor as she fights him off.
#2 - Louie's Mom Remarries
Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/19/1981
Louie becomes irrationally upset when he learns that his mother plans to marry an elderly Japanese man. Louie makes his mother miserable in an effort to thwart the wedding, but she still goes through with the wedding (a traditional Japanese ceremony), and Louie refuses to attend. At the last minute, Alex talks Louie into going, however, and Louie proclaims that whatever despicable act he might perform at the wedding would be Alex's fault for convincing him to go. When Louie is very close to wrecking the wedding, he has a change of heart and gives the couple his blessing.
#3 - Alex the Gofer
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/11/1982
Alex, who loves the theater, takes a part time job as a gofer for a young producer and director, but soon feels mistreated by his younger bosses. Louie, spying on Alex at his new job, spots Alex being humiliated and uncharacteristically does not make fun of him; rather, he tries to convince Alex to stand up for himself and tell the director off. Alex is considering this when the director suddenly has a change of heart and apologizes for mistreating Alex and ignoring one of his earlier suggestions. As a result, Alex regains his dignity.
#4 - Jim's Mario's
Season 5 - Episode 22 - Aired 5/18/1983
Jim decides to buy Mario's with some of his inheritance money, but first must convince his brother Tom (who controls his trust fund) that this is a wise investment. Initially, Mario's is doing poorly and Tom threatens not to let Jim have any more money, but the gang usher their customers into Mario's and soon the place is packed and everyone is having a great time. All appears well until a man tries to buy liquor from Jim after hours and then reveals himself to be an undercover liquor authority officer. But wait-- Jim has given him a bottle of seltzer, not liquor and saves face with his brother.
#5 - Alex's Old Buddy
Season 5 - Episode 14 - Aired 1/29/1983
Alex takes ownership of his old dog, Buddy, who has been living at his sister's place in the country. Buddy is now 19 and Alex wants to spend as much time with him as possible. The dog is lovable but at his advanced age, requires constant care, and Alex soon is taking Buddy with him everywhere including the cab. The gang soon sees that Buddy is not doing very well and gently suggest that Alex consider putting him to sleep, but Alex refuses. Jim suggests that Alex get Buddy to do his old trick (playing dead) to determine his wellness. Buddy does the trick successfully, although gives the gang a scare when he doesn't get up right away and they really think he may be dead (thankfully, he turns out to be okay). However, the next time the gang sees Alex, he doesn't have Buddy with him, and Alex says that he had to take Buddy to the vet where he died. Louie ushers everyone out of the garage so Alex can grieve alone. With everyone gone, the stoic Alex cries as the episode ends.
#6 - A Taxi Celebration (1)
Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 3/23/1983
Part one of a two part clip show featuring highlights of Taxi.
#7 - Alex Jumps Out of an Airplane
Season 2 - Episode 21 - Aired 2/26/1980
Alex has a new lust for adventure after a thrilling ski trip and begins trying to conquer his fears. He first entertains the crowd at Mario's by playing/singing showtunes on the piano, then he has Tony teach him to box and spars with a talented young boxer who knocks him out. Alex still wants a new challenge, however, and announces he's going skydiving. Once in the air, Alex reconsiders, however, but reluctantly jumps anyway.
#8 - A Full House for Christmas
Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/12/1978
A Christmas party at the garage is interrupted when Louie, the dispatcher, teams up with Alex in a game of high stakes poker against his cardshark brother Nick.
#9 - What Price Bobby?
Season 2 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/22/1980
Bobby feels very lucky when a top notch theatrical agent (Nora) is in his cab. He makes a pitch to her, telling her about what a good actor he is, and initially she shuns him, but later agrees to watch him in the play he currently stars in. Sure enough, Nora sees him and then agrees to work with him, but it soon becomes evident that she has more than a business interest in him. Nonetheless, he begins a relationship with her, and his career is suddenly really starting to take off. Soon enough, Bobby is feeling as though he's prostituting himself and eventually gets up the courage to tell Nora he wishes to keep their relationship on a business level. This does not sit well with Nora, who not only stops representing him, but in their final argument, takes away Bobby's self respect and his shoes!
#10 - The Reluctant Fighter
Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/25/1979
Tony seems to get a big break in his boxing career when his manager informs him that aging former champ, Benny Foster, has selected him as an opponent in his comeback fight. At the press conference before the fight, however, Foster announces that he's coming back to inspire (and presumably, financially aid) a wheelchair bound child, Brian Sims, in need of a kidney operation, who thinks of Foster as his hero. Tony, thinking this is a no-win situation, doesn't want to even go through with the fight, but Alex convinces him that this is still a big break for him and that he should go for it. Tony not only ends up fighting, but knocking Foster out, but still feels bad about disappointing Brian. Tony speaks to Brian in the locker room, hoping it will make him feel better, but Brian punches him. Eventually, Tony prevails upon Brian that he wants to be his hero, and the boy agrees—at least until Tony loses a fight.
#11 - Hollywood Calling
Season 1 - Episode 21 - Aired 5/8/1979
The cabbies fall victim to a Hollywood-style roller coaster ride when a production company visits to do a film on taxi drivers.
#12 - Paper Marriage
Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 10/31/1978
Mechanic Latka Gravas faces deportation unless he marries an U.S. citizen. The taxi gang comes to his rescue by pitching in and hiring a local "working girl" to be his bride.
#13 - Bobby's Big Break
Season 1 - Episode 18 - Aired 2/15/1979
Bobby's career dreams come true when he lands a role in a soap opera, prompting him to throw his torn-up cabbie's license at Louie, but the dispatcher vows to take revenge if Bobby ever comes crawling back.
#14 - Tony's Sister and Jim
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 11/26/1980
Tony's sister, Monica, has returned to New York after her divorce, and Tony has set her up on a date with Alex, with hopes that they will fall in love. However, while Monica waits for Alex in the garage, she gets to talking to Jim and they hit it off famously. They begin dating, but Tony is not supportive of the relationship and asks Jim not to see her anymore. However, Tony catches Jim at Monica's apartment when he stops by for a visit. Tony is angered that they are seeing each other despite his objections and is ready to toss Jim out (literally), when Monica tells him off about his immaturity and trying to control her life. Tony then sees the light, apologizes, and seems resigned to the new relationship.
#15 - Tony's Baby
Season 5 - Episode 21 - Aired 4/20/1983
Tony is depressed when he learns his girlfriend, Vicki (also introduced in the "Shloogel Show" episode) is pregnant. He decides to "do the right thing" and marry her, although when he talks to her, he's clearly not too thrilled about it. As a result, she storms off and later refuses to take his calls. This makes Tony's mood even worse, but meanwhile he has scored a crucial boxing match with a ranked contender. Unfortunately, his heart isn't in it and during the match, he initially gets knocked down then he gets up but just seems to be going through the motions. Midway through the bout, his manager somehow inspires him and Tony appears to turn the fight around. As the decision is being announced, Vicki appears and they aggressively talk things out. Just as the bout his been awarded to Tony's opponent on a split decision, Vicki agrees to marry Tony, who throws his hands in victory, despite having lost the fight.
#16 - Elaine and the Lame Duck
Season 1 - Episode 17 - Aired 2/13/1979
Alex feels sympathy for a fare who's a real loser with the women and arranges a date for the man with Elaine, who later discovers that her klutzy companion for the evening is a U.S. Congressman.
#17 - Guess Who's Coming for Brefnish
Season 2 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/15/1980
Latka meets and begins dating Simka, a woman from his home country. Things are going well until they hit a roadblock: Simka is a "mountain person," one of the country's underclass that Latka has been taught to make fun of. When they can't seem to work through the situation, they break up, but soon, Latka is miserable and wants Simka back. Too late, though—she's begun dating a handsome young doctor, and Simka gingerly turns Latka down when he asks if she wants to get back together. Latka is left depressed, but has learned a lesson about prejudices.
#18 - Bobby's Roomate
Season 3 - Episode 15 - Aired 4/9/1981
Elaine is forced out of her apartment when her building goes co-op and moves into Bobby's place while he's away with a touring stage production. Soon, Bobby returns because he is kicked off the tour for fooling around with the director's daughter, and suddenly, he and Elaine are living together. A few days later, Elaine tells Alex how much she's enjoying living with Bobby, when suddenly she gets a call from her boyfriend, who breaks up with her. Elaine leaves upset, and Alex briefs Bobby to look out because Elaine is vulnerable and may want physical companionship. That night, Elaine wakes up Bobby to talk and drink some wine with her, then Bobby panics that she is coming on to him, and calls Alex. When Alex arrives in his robe and slippers, having run 25 blocks through the snow to get there, Elaine gets upset that they have misinterpreted her actions. The guys are ashamed at their chauvinism and they all make up.
#19 - The Lighter Side of Angela Matusa
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/23/1979
Alex meets up with Angela (his overweight date from the previous season) only to learn she's lost 100 pounds. When they go to dinner, he learns that she did it all for him, making him very nervous because he doesn't really want more than a friendship with Angela but hates to discourage her from losing weight and feeling good about herself. Later, Wayne, a guy from Angela's weight clinic, comes to see Alex in the hopes of finding Angela, who's missing (it seems Wayne has a crush on Angela). Together, they find a very depressed Angela, eating alone in a greasy spoon diner. Alex convinces Angela that she doesn't need to be depressed and that she and Wayne belong together. She and Wayne leave together, but Angela confesses to Alex that the reason she had previously rejected Wayne's advances was because he's married with four kids.
#20 - Jim Joins the Network
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/29/1981
While driving a television executive in his cab, Jim exhibits more psychic behavior by predicting TV ratings. Mitch, the executive, seeks Jim out the next day in hopes of getting more advice about TV programming that might save his job. Jim starts helping Mitch regularly and Mitch becomes a star at the network, but the gang soon convinces Jim (who isn't being compensated for this help) that he's being taken advantage of. Jim angrily confronts Mitch, who agrees to tell the network head honchos all about Jim and to get him a job, but Jim has a change of heart, saying he doesn't want to profit from his God-given gift as a psychic.
#21 - The Great Line
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/17/1978
A pretty girl has John in a whirl, and his determination to meet her prompts the taxi gang to come up with a surefire line that would unfreeze any woman on earth.
#22 - Louie and the Nice Girl
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/11/1979
Zena, the woman who refills the vending machines who has made friends with most of the cabbies, admits to Alex and Elaine that she has a crush on Louie. Elaine is bothered by this, but takes comfort in the fact that Zena is probably too shy to introduce herself. However, Zena asks Alex to introduce them and Alex tentatively agrees. Soon, Louie and Zena become an item and the gang is disgusted at the way Louie explicitly describes their sex life. In private, Zena blows Louie's cover by asking Alex why Louie won't make a single move on her. The next time Louie starts boasting, Alex tells him to give up the charade—he knows nothing has happened. Louie then confesses to Alex that he's used to going out with "professionals" and doesn't know what to do with a "nice girl." Louie then breaks up with Zena, but she insists on a goodbye kiss before they part. She kisses him in such a way that he realizes maybe she's not as "nice" as he thought. Zena then pulls him into the bedroom and it
#23 - Louie's Mother
Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 3/26/1981
Louie is reveling in the news that he's moved his mother out of his apartment and into a nursing home and is throwing a party to celebrate, inviting only Alex. Alex grudgingly shows and learns that the party is a sad affair, the only other guests being three losers that soon leave to go to another party. Louie confesses to Alex that he's actually depressed-- his mom actually moved out after they had a fight and he misses her. Louie's depression gets worse over the days to come and Alex convinces him to go make up with his mother. Louie goes to see his elderly mother, who initially won't speak to him, but eventually agrees to come home with him and all is well again.
#24 - Jim the Psychic
Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 10/8/1981
Jim announces he has psychic dreams and unfortunately, he has had one about Alex, culminating in his death. The gang becomes increasingly worried about Alex, when one by one, all of the events Jim dreamed about start coming true. However, Alex continues to reject Jim's superstitions. Louie becomes so worried about Alex, he comes to Alex's apartment to take him somewhere (so the final part of Jim's dream doesn't come true, since he is to meet his doom that evening at home), but possibly to spite Louie, Alex decides to stay and tempt fate. In the end, it turns out that the doom Jim dreamed about was a girl scout knocking at Alex's door, instead of his death, but when Louie leaves, Alex actually appears very relieved that Jim's premonition was wrong.
#25 - Wherefore Art Thou, Bobby?
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/16/1979
Tony brings his fare, a young actor new to New York named Steve, to the garage to meet Bobby, so Bobby can give him acting pointers. Bobby takes Steve under his wing and soon Steve is cast as Romeo off-Broadway. A shocked Bobby then quits acting out of frustration, after seeing how Steve gets a job his second day in New York while Bobby still can't get a break. Bobby, resigned to being a full time cab driver, still shows his acting skills when he runs lines with Steve, but it takes some heckling from Louie to convince him to return to acting—in order to make Louie someday eat his words.