The BEST episodes written by Sam Simon

Tony's Comeback
star
8.51
61 votes

#1 - Tony's Comeback

Taxi - Season 4 - Episode 19

Tony begins working out with a new cabbie, Lucius, who is a former football player. Tony is in great shape all of a sudden and Lucius inspires Tony to try to get his boxing license reinstated. Tony is not hopeful that the boxing commission will reinstate him, so he is surprised when he gets his license back. In addition, he getes a major fight scheduled with a promising young fighter. Meanwhile, Lucius goes away to Miami to try out for the Dolphins. Without Lucius around, Tony loses his motivation and his training suffers. At the fight, he is getting pummelled until Lucius, who has learned that he has made the Dolphins, arrives to inspire him. With Lucius' support, Tony turns the fight around and knocks out his opponent.

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The Road Not Taken (1)
star
8.23
64 votes

#2 - The Road Not Taken (1)

Taxi - Season 4 - Episode 23

When Elaine is offered a job as an art gallery manager in Seattle, she asks the gang for help in making a decision. The cabbies share with Elaine some stories about life changing decisions they once had to make. Tony talks about how he refused to take a dive in a major fight, even though he will likely be in trouble with the mob. In the fight, Tony learns that the other fighter has also been paid to take a dive, and the fighter does so in comic fashion. Next, Louie talks about how he became a taxi dispatcher after mercifully taking over for the kindly old dispatcher who had to take his wife to the doctor. Louie finds he likes the job and forces the old man out of the dispatcher's job into retirement. Finally, Jim tells of how he was very studious at Harvard, until his free-spirit girlfriend turned him on to hash brownies. (Part one of two)

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The Bartender's Tale
star
7.82
227 votes

#3 - The Bartender's Tale

Cheers - Season 3 - Episode 23

Carla insists that Sam should hire an older woman to replace Diane but she doesn't reckon on Sam's attraction to the woman's daughter.

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Love Un-American Style
star
7.81
40 votes

#4 - Love Un-American Style

Taxi - Season 5 - Episode 1

Newlyweds Latka & Samka throw a Shloogel, one of their religion's traditions. The shloogel is, in effect, a party at Mario's where they set all the gang up on blind dates. Tony is set up with Vicki, an abrasive brunette and immediately starts arguing with her. Elaine is set up with mousy Arnie, who has low self esteem. Jim is set up with actress, Marcia Wallace, who played Carol on his favorite show, Bob Newhart. Louie is set up with Judy, a pretty blind woman. Alex is set up with Susan, who seems to be his dream woman and he seems to be falling for her immediately. Despite the fact that none of the other matches seem perfect, all of them show promise by the end of the evening.

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Endless Slumper
star
7.79
457 votes

#5 - Endless Slumper

Cheers - Season 1 - Episode 10

Rick Walker, a friend of Sam, seeks his advice on how to end a losing streak.

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The Way We Was
star
7.77
1882 votes

#6 - The Way We Was

The Simpsons - Season 2 - Episode 12

When the TV breaks, Marge and Homer entertain the kids with the story of how they first met.

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Cooking for Two
star
7.76
34 votes

#7 - Cooking for Two

Taxi - Season 4 - Episode 22

After Jim's home is destroyed by a wrecking ball, he stays with Louie, much to Louie's dismay after Jim declares him his "best buddy." Jim soon burns Louie's apartment after a cooking accident, though. Initially, Louie is angry, but sees an opportunity to make some money, when he learns that Jim gets a blank check from his wealthy father to reimburse Louie for his losses. Louie is not sure how much to ask for, though, since Jim says he has to call his father to okay the amount. After much lamenting over the amount, Louie settles on about $30,000 and Jim's dad okays it. Louie is overjoyed until he learns that Jim's dad was expecting the amount to be more like $200,000.

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Louie's Revenge
star
7.76
37 votes

#8 - Louie's Revenge

Taxi - Season 5 - Episode 8

Louie gets a call from Emily, who jilted him in an earlier episode, who is drunk and drugged and wants to meet him at a nearby bar. Louie decides to go over there to throw a drink in her face and reject her, therefore getting the last laugh. However, when he gets to the bar, Emily serenades him and has Louie eating out of her hands. The next morning, she is shocked to see him wake up next to her, but Louie somehow convinces her that they are meant for each other. They begin a relationship but it becomes evident that Louie has become Emily's slave and he's starting to hate himself for it. Eventually she comes to a realization of what she's doing to him and breaks it off with Louie, who is relieved, but he finally exacts revenge by throwing orange juice in her face.

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Treehouse of Horror III
star
7.72
2150 votes

#9 - Treehouse of Horror III

The Simpsons - Season 4 - Episode 5

In "Clown Without Pity," Bart's Krusty doll is determined to murder Homer. In "King Homer," Homer plays King Kong to Marge's Fay Wray. Finally, in "Dial Z for Zombies," Bart finds a book of witchcraft and accidentally brings Springfield's dead to life.

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Treehouse of Horror II
star
7.72
2037 votes

#10 - Treehouse of Horror II

The Simpsons - Season 3 - Episode 7

The family buys a cursed monkey paw in Morocco, and their three wishes turn out badly. In a Twilight Zone parody, Bart is the fearsome “monster” who can read the townspeople’s thoughts. And Mr. Burns steals Homer’s brain for a giant robot he’s building.

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Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
star
7.69
2030 votes

#11 - Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish

The Simpsons - Season 2 - Episode 4

When a three-eyed fish is found in a nearby stream, the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant faces bad publicity and fails an inspection. Mr. Burns runs for governor, but his spin doctors are no match for Marge.

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A Grand Gesture
star
7.69
29 votes

#12 - A Grand Gesture

Taxi - Season 5 - Episode 23

Newly wealthy Jim gives each of the gang $1000 to give away, in an effort to teach them how good it feels to give someone else $1000. Latka & Simka give the money to their minister, who protests loudly (as is their custom) but accepts the money nonetheless. Tony uses the money to buy his friend Walt a large TV set. Elaine (inexplicably) gives the money to her daughter, suggesting that she split it with her brother. Louie gives the money to Jeff, who won't accept Louie's "dirty money" until he learns it was from Jim. Alex has trouble finding someone to give the money to until he comes accross an old lady in his cab with seven kids.

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Cheerio, Cheers
star
7.61
208 votes

#13 - Cheerio, Cheers

Cheers - Season 3 - Episode 22

Diane announces that she's leaving Cheers to accompany Frasier to Italy and Sam throws her a going-away party.

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Treehouse of Horror
star
7.56
2511 votes

#14 - Treehouse of Horror

The Simpsons - Season 2 - Episode 3

The family moves into a haunted mansion, Aliens abduct the Simpsons and invite them to what might be their last supper, and Lisa reads Bart Edgar Allan Poe's classic poem "The Raven."

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Louie's Fling
star
7.51
68 votes

#15 - Louie's Fling

Taxi - Season 4 - Episode 5

Zena asks Louie to drive her friend Emily, who has just been dumped and is drugged, drunk, and upset, back to her apartment. While there, Emily comes on to Louie and he ends up cheating on Zena. Louie soon brags of his conquest, but Elaine gets so angry that she is about to tell Zena everything. Louie decides to tell Zena himself though, who understandably dumps him. Louie then shows up at Emily's apartment, but Emily is clearly regretting her indiscretion with Louie and is getting back with her boyfriend anyway, so she kicks him out quickly. Louie, back at the garage, is in tears because he is so upset at the turn of events. Alex, feeling sorry for Louie, gives him some sage advice on how to get Zena back. All of a sudden, Louie turns off the tears and Alex sees that he's been had and gets furious with himself. As Louie goes to talk to Zena (and presumably gets back together with her), he assures Alex that the tears were real.

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The Crepes of Wrath
star
7.50
2251 votes

#16 - The Crepes of Wrath

The Simpsons - Season 1 - Episode 11

Bart is sent as a foreign exchange student to France, where he is enslaved by corrupt winemakers. Meanwhile, the Simpson family hosts an Albanian student who takes a surprising interest in the workings of the nuclear power plant.

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The Clown
star
7.40
48 votes

#17 - The Clown

Barney Miller - Season 8 - Episode 10

Street clowns fall prey to a serial mugger; a hundred inmates are sneaked out of holding in the middle of the night.

Out of Commission
star
7.39
31 votes

#18 - Out of Commission

Taxi - Season 3 - Episode 12

After Tony is beaten badly in his most recent boxing match, the state takes his boxing license away. Tony is depressed, because despite his losing record, he fancies himself a boxer by trade, and will be giving up on his dream. Soon, Tony's manager comes to the garage and tells Alex that Tony has bought the license of a retired boxer named Kid Rodriguez ("the pride of San Juan") and plans to fight under that name. What's more he has a fight that very evening. The gang shows up in Tony's locker room before the fight and try to talk him out of the illegal activity of fighting under an assumed name, not to mention endangering his life after the boxing commission had mercifully stripped Tony of his license. Tony goes through with the fight nonetheless, but at the opening bell, Alex gives him some food for thought—that Tony could easily be badly hurt or hurt someone else. Tony tries to explain the referee that he doesn't want to fight after all, but inadvertently hits his opponent and knoc

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Some Enchanted Evening
star
7.28
2084 votes

#19 - Some Enchanted Evening

The Simpsons - Season 1 - Episode 13

While Homer takes Marge out for a night on the town, the kids spot their babysitter on America's Most Armed and Dangerous.

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Fairy Tales Can Come True
star
7.24
313 votes

#20 - Fairy Tales Can Come True

Cheers - Season 3 - Episode 4

Cliff meets the woman of his dreams at the bar on Halloween night but is afraid of meeting her when he's not in costume, and Sam and Diane have their first non-romantic outing together after the breakup.

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Get Me Through the Holidays
star
7.21
33 votes

#21 - Get Me Through the Holidays

Taxi - Season 5 - Episode 12

Alex's ex-wife, Phyllis, depressed and lonely, comes to see Alex, who takes pity on her and includes her in his holiday plans. This turns ugly, when she manages to bring the whole gang down with her self-pity. Her Christmas present to Alex is that she won't bug him for New Year's, which turns out to be the best gift she could give him.

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Battle of the Exes
star
7.19
346 votes

#22 - Battle of the Exes

Cheers - Season 2 - Episode 13

Not wanting to appear lonely and dateless whilst going to her ex-husband Nick's wedding ceremony to blonde bimbo Loretta, Carla asks Sam to accompany her.

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The Telltale Head
star
7.19
2062 votes

#23 - The Telltale Head

The Simpsons - Season 1 - Episode 8

Bart tries to impress the school bullies by stealing the head of the Jebediah Springfield statue in the town square, but everyone is outraged by his act of vandalism.

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The Ten-Per-Cent Solution
star
7.01
2457 votes

#24 - The Ten-Per-Cent Solution

The Simpsons - Season 23 - Episode 8

Krusty the Clown is fired from his show and gets a new agent named Annie to help him stage a comeback.

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Alex's Old Buddy
star
6.87
30 votes

#25 - Alex's Old Buddy

Taxi - Season 5 - Episode 14

Alex takes ownership of his old dog, Buddy, who has been living at his sister's place in the country. Buddy is now 19 and Alex wants to spend as much time with him as possible. The dog is lovable but at his advanced age, requires constant care, and Alex soon is taking Buddy with him everywhere including the cab. The gang soon sees that Buddy is not doing very well and gently suggest that Alex consider putting him to sleep, but Alex refuses. Jim suggests that Alex get Buddy to do his old trick (playing dead) to determine his wellness. Buddy does the trick successfully, although gives the gang a scare when he doesn't get up right away and they really think he may be dead (thankfully, he turns out to be okay). However, the next time the gang sees Alex, he doesn't have Buddy with him, and Alex says that he had to take Buddy to the vet where he died. Louie ushers everyone out of the garage so Alex can grieve alone. With everyone gone, the stoic Alex cries as the episode ends.

Jim's Mario's
star
6.77
56 votes

#26 - Jim's Mario's

Taxi - Season 5 - Episode 22

Jim decides to buy Mario's with some of his inheritance money, but first must convince his brother Tom (who controls his trust fund) that this is a wise investment. Initially, Mario's is doing poorly and Tom threatens not to let Jim have any more money, but the gang usher their customers into Mario's and soon the place is packed and everyone is having a great time. All appears well until a man tries to buy liquor from Jim after hours and then reveals himself to be an undercover liquor authority officer. But wait-- Jim has given him a bottle of seltzer, not liquor and saves face with his brother.

Angelica (2)
star
6.50
8 votes

#27 - Angelica (2)

It's Garry Shandling's Show - Season 2 - Episode 7

Garry's second "Love Connection" date with Angelica doesn't go as well as the first.

Drew Carey's Back-to-School Rock 'n' Roll Comedy Hour (1)
star
6.43
28 votes

#28 - Drew Carey's Back-to-School Rock 'n' Roll Comedy Hour (1)

The Drew Carey Show - Season 7 - Episode 1

The cast and special guests perform comedy sketches with a "back to school" theme. Teenage Drew visits a doctor and learns about his "changing body." A wood shop teacher conducts class, despite the fact that he is just a decapitated head. A sketch parodies the accelerated aging process seen in commercials for milk. Oswald and Lewis try to convince SHeDAISY to hire them as backup singers. Two girls at a slumber party decide to practice kissing on each other. Christa Miller and Jenny McCarthy question the purpose of the sketch after noticing that Drew, John Carroll Lynch and a bunch of pervert crew members are gawking at them. They retaliate by making a sketch in which a buff Abraham Lincoln becomes a stripper and dances for Drew. Oswald tries to impress Jenny with a story about a painful football injury, but the flashback reveals that he was actually a cheerleader. Mimi warns musical guest Smash Mouth not to steal her idea for a speed metal version of Gordon Lightfoot's "The Wr

Martian Mask
star
6.40
5 votes

#29 - Martian Mask

The Mask - Season 1 - Episode 11

Aliens have landed in The Mask's hometown.

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Drew Carey's Back-to-School Rock 'n' Roll Comedy Hour (2)
star
5.89
18 votes

#30 - Drew Carey's Back-to-School Rock 'n' Roll Comedy Hour (2)

The Drew Carey Show - Season 7 - Episode 2

Drew hosts a film about the dangers of cooties. Another film shows girls how cheerleading can help them later in life. Mimi bothers Uncle Kracker for help with a crossword puzzle. A clueless police officer goes undercover while still wearing his uniform. Peter Frampton recalls his past romance with Mimi. A talking zit gives a young man questionable dating advice. Mimi tries to convince Sugar Ray to stay over at her place after the show. Drew compliments teachers, with the exception of his elementary school teacher, Ms. Freeman. He boasts that math isn't necessary in life, only to miss out on a party because Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray tells him the location in the form of a story problem.