The BEST Episodes of Suburgatory

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Apr 3, 2020

Network: ABC (US)

Single father George only wants the best for his 16-year-old daughter, Tessa. So when he finds a box of condoms on her nightstand, he moves them out of their apartment in New York City to a house in the suburbs. But all Tessa sees is the horror of over-manicured lawns and plastic Franken-moms. Being in the 'burbs can be hell, but it also may just bring Tessa and George closer than they've ever been.

Apocalypse Meow

#1 - Apocalypse Meow

Season 2 - Episode 21 - Aired Apr 17, 2013

Dallas helps George tell Tessa that he has sold their house; when Dalia tries to make Tessa miserable, Tessa seeks revenge.

star 7.84
609 votes
Directors: Ken Whittingham
Writers: Annie Weisman
Catch and Release

#2 - Catch and Release

Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired Mar 26, 2014

Tessa asks for advice when Lisa decides to propose to Malik; George believes that Nora may be rude to her employees.

star 7.81
538 votes
Writers: Patricia Breen
Stiiiiiiill Horny

#3 - Stiiiiiiill Horny

Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired May 14, 2014

When Tessa joins a knitting circle, the age of her new friends surprises George; George writes a song dedicated to his muse; Malik and Lisa bicker.

star 7.78
560 votes
Writers: Andrew Guest
Go, Gamblers!

#4 - Go, Gamblers!

Season 2 - Episode 20 - Aired Apr 10, 2013

Tessa helps Ryan choose a college; George asks Dallas to move in with him; Sheila sells George's house.

star 7.74
600 votes
Directors: Alex Hardcastle
Writers: Matt Ward
I'm Just Not That Into Me

#5 - I'm Just Not That Into Me

Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired Mar 12, 2014

Tessa becomes enamored with the male version of herself she meets at a college party; a matchmaker inspires Dallas to transform her look.

star 7.66
616 votes
Directors: Claire Scanlon
Writers: Andrew Guest
Foam Finger

#6 - Foam Finger

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired Nov 7, 2012

When Dalia abandons her friends Kimantha, Kenzie and Kaitlyn to hang out with her father's fiancee, her former pals turn to Lisa and Tessa; George and Dallas take their relationship to the next level.

star 7.61
789 votes
Directors: Alex Hardcastle
Writers: Brian Rubenstein
Les Lucioles

#7 - Les Lucioles

Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired May 7, 2014

Tessa struggles with the budget while planning Lisa and Malik's wedding; June warns Tessa to stay away from Ryan; Malik turns to George when his family decides to boycott the wedding; Sheila gives Lisa advice.

star 7.60
543 votes
Directors: Alex Hardcastle
Writers: Emily Kapnek
Chinese Chicken

#8 - Chinese Chicken

Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired Jan 23, 2013

George starts to feel stifled when Dallas' efforts to promote his business go overboard; Tessa learns what life is like as a football player's girlfriend.

star 7.58
621 votes
Directors: Alex Hardcastle
Writers: Andrew Guest
Pilot

#9 - Pilot

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired Sep 28, 2011

Tessa and her father experience culture shock when they move out of New York and into a house in the suburbs.

star 7.58
2,002 votes
Directors: Michael Fresco
Writers: Emily Kapnek
Leaving Chatswin

#10 - Leaving Chatswin

Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired Feb 27, 2013

George is deeply affected when Marty passes away; after learning that Ryan has been dishonest, Tessa considers the future of their relationship and her plans for college.

star 7.58
604 votes
Directors: Elliot Hegarty
Writers: Drew Hancock
Halloween

#11 - Halloween

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Oct 26, 2011

Tessa channels her inner "suburban girl" for a Halloween costume, but it ends up spooking her friends and everyone at school since she reminds them of a recently "departed" resident of Chatswin. And George is determined to prove to Halloween-hater Dallas that being scared can be fun, but gets a scare of his own when Steven Royce (guest star Jay Mohr), Dallas' husband, finally comes home from one of his many business trips.

star 7.58
1,506 votes
Directors: Adam Davidson
Writers: Andrew Guest
The Birds and the Biederman

#12 - The Birds and the Biederman

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired Feb 5, 2014

Tess and Dahlia negotiate George's and Dallas' territories in Chatswin; Tessa notices Lisa spending time with Ryan's girlfriend; Fred thinks Sheila is distancing herself.

star 7.57
669 votes
Directors: Clare Scanlon
Writers: Brian Rubenstein
No Me Gusta, Mami

#13 - No Me Gusta, Mami

Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired Jan 15, 2014

George hopes to rebuild his relationship with Tessa; upset about George and Dallas' breakup, Dalia shuns her mother.

star 7.57
664 votes
Directors: Ken Whittingham
Writers: Emily Kapnek
Homecoming

#14 - Homecoming

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired Oct 17, 2012

Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending summer with her grandmother; George finds Tessa's renewed interest in her mother threatening; Tessa signs up for the Fall Follies; Noah and Dallas compete for Carmen.

star 7.57
810 votes
Directors: Ken Whittingham
Writers: Emily Kapnek
The Casino Trip

#15 - The Casino Trip

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Jan 18, 2012

When George wins an all expenses paid trip to Atlantic City, he enlists Noah, Fred, Tom and Alex, and it turns into a getaway with the guys. During their trip they run into Steven Royce (who is supposed to be in Singapore), and they help Fred cope with his gambling problem. Meanwhile Tessa tries to get some alone time with Scott Strauss.

star 7.57
1,207 votes
Directors: Ken Whittingham
Writers: Andrew Guest
Down Time

#16 - Down Time

Season 1 - Episode 18 - Aired Apr 11, 2012

When Dallas's divorce is finalized, George becomes concerned and includes her in a shopping trip with Noah to buy a new mattress. Meanwhile Dalia makes a breakthrough in therapy with her psychiatrist, Dr. Richard Rohl (James Lipton), Lisa and Malik try to set up Tessa, and Ryan takes Tessa on a date.

star 7.57
934 votes
Directors: Alex Hardcastle
Writers: Brian Chamberlayne
Sex and the Suburbs

#17 - Sex and the Suburbs

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired Feb 8, 2012

Tessa enjoys rubbing it in Dalia's face that Scott Strause chose her over Dalia. However the closer Tessa gets to Scott, the more nervous George becomes. When George discovers a box of XXL condoms that Lisa has given Tessa, he becomes obsessed and starts planning game night with her friends in hopes of keeping her at home more. Meanwhile Tessa soon discovers that the more time she spends with Scott, the less attracted to him she is.

star 7.57
1,128 votes
Writers: Adam Barr
Ryan's Song

#18 - Ryan's Song

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 31, 2012

Feeling guilty about keeping the truth from Ryan, Lisa agrees to help him with Tessa; Dallas invites her life coach along on her first date with George; Tessa baby-sits with Opus.

star 7.56
796 votes
Directors: Alex Hardcastle
Writers: Andrew Guest
The Barbecue

#19 - The Barbecue

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Oct 5, 2011

Surprised Tessa realizes she is attracted to her jock suburban neighbor; George feels pressured to throw the perfect barbecue.

star 7.54
1,568 votes
Directors: Michael Fresco
Writers: Bob Kushell
Krampus

#20 - Krampus

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Dec 5, 2012

George assumes that Tessa will be thrilled to go on an excursion with her mother in New York, but Tessa finds herself missing Chatswin and her father; the Shay family is thrown into turmoil when Ryan finds out he was adopted.

star 7.53
673 votes
Writers: Emily Kapnek
Black Thai

#21 - Black Thai

Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired Jan 9, 2013

When Dalia receives a new car after PSAT results are released, Tessa becomes obsessed with finding out Dalia's score; Jill and Noah ask Mr. Wolfe to tutor their baby.

star 7.52
590 votes
Directors: Alex Hardcastle
Writers: Patricia Breen
Junior Secretary's Day

#22 - Junior Secretary's Day

Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired Jan 16, 2013

George has to manage Tessa's recovery after her wisdom teeth are removed and deal with Fred Shay, who has moved into their basement after a career setback; Dallas is insecure about her relationship with George.

star 7.52
673 votes
Directors: Elliot Hegarty
Writers: Matt Ward
Entering Eden

#23 - Entering Eden

Season 1 - Episode 19 - Aired Apr 18, 2012

George begins dating Eden (Alicia Silverstone), a woman he met at the town's farmer's market. Tessa helps Dalia find her missing dog.

star 7.52
910 votes
Directors: Gail Mancuso
Writers: Patricia Breen
The Witch of East Chatswin

#24 - The Witch of East Chatswin

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired Oct 24, 2012

When Tessa convinces Dalia and her friends to think up feminist-inspired Halloween costumes, she attracts the attention of the Chatswin witch; Noah and George dress as each other; George misunderstands when Dallas asks him out.

star 7.52
783 votes
Writers: Annie Weisman
The Great Compromise

#25 - The Great Compromise

Season 1 - Episode 21 - Aired May 9, 2012

While Tessa tries to adjust to living with Eden, George takes issue with Eden's parenting; Lisa and Malik consider which camp they should attend.

star 7.51
920 votes
Directors: Randall Zisk
Writers: Aimee Jones, Charlie Carlisle