The WORST episodes of Mind Your Language

#1 - Fifty Years On

Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/25/1986

#2 - The Cheating Game

Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 2/10/1978

Miss Courtney tells Jeremy to prepare the class for their upcoming exam. Jeremy is not encouraged by their answers to his questions. He advises them to study the questions for a mock exam he is giving them after tea break. Giovanni & Max have a plan to pass the exam & make Jeremy happy with their progress, He's going to steal the answers. Jeremy meets Miss Courtney in the corridor and she tells him if the class doesn't pass she'll end the course at once.! Jeremy tells Gladys his problem, Gladys suggests he leave the answers on the desk where the students can find them. Jeremy leaves the answers on the desk & goes to the canteen, Giovanni & Max find the answers & copy them. Miss Courtney tells Jeremy she'll give the class the exam & he can wait outside. One by one the students ask for a toilet break & take their books with them. Miss Courtney collects the books to mark them & Jeremy gives her back the answer sheet. She realises that the answers are from last years test,

#3 - A Point of Honour

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 3/10/1978

To prepare the class for an upcoming exam,Jeremy gives the class an oral exam. Danielle comes late,she says the woodwork teacher Mr Jarvis wouldn't let her go 'til she agreed to have dinner with him. Danielle had a bright idea, she told Mr Jarvis she was engaged to Jeremy.! Gladys (from the canteen) tells Miss Courtney about Danielle & Jeremy, Gladys later tells Jeremy that she thinks Miss Courtney fancies him. Jeremy tells Miss Courtney what Gladys told him & now Miss Courtney thinks Jeremy likes her.! Jeremy goes back to class & sees Mr Jarvis & Danielle in the corridor, Danielle tells Jarvis that Jeremy isn't frightened by him & Jarvis wants to meet Jeremy after class for a punch-up.! Back in class the lesson continues, when it's finished Mr Jarvis is waiting for Jeremy to fight until Miss Courtney intervenes. Jeremy tells Miss Courtney that Jarvis is forcing his attention on Danielle. So Miss Courtney arranges a boxing match after class next day. Giovanni & Max

#4 - Hello Sailor

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 3/3/1978

Juan brings his new friend Boris, a Russian sailor to class with him. He asks Boris to wait in the canteen until after the lesson. Jeremy asks the class for words begining with the letters A, B, C etc. When Juan comes in late he apologises & takes his seat. Meanwhile Miss Courtney has found Boris & asks Gladys to tell Jeremy she wants to see him in the canteen. Juan & Jeremy go to the canteen to see Miss Courtney & Juan tells them Boris has fallen in love with a British girl & wants to stay in the U.K. Jeremy,Juan & Boris return to class & Jeremy introduces Boris to the students, telling them that Boris wants to defect to the west. Then he continues with the lesson until Gladys interupts to tell Jeremy that Miss Courtney wants to see him in her office. Jeremy is introduced to Captain Ivan Ivanovich. He tells Jeremy that Boris has to come back to the ship with him & return to Russia. After they leave the lesson continues again, until it's interupted by Capt. Ivanovich. Now h

#5 - Queen for a Day

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 10/14/1978

Jeremy is annoyed that everyone is coming late for class. Ali arrives later still & when questioned about his lateness shows Jeremy his new watch that he bought for two pounds fifty from the market.It seems someone has sold him a 'Dud.'! Fforbes Ffortescue arrives at the school & tells Miss Courtney that Queen Elizabeth will be making a visit to the school. Miss Courtney tells Jeremy & they decorate the school for the royal visit. Jeremy's students dress in their national costume & are paraded one by one in the canteen before the Queen's visit. Miss Courtney would like a class member to present a posy of flowers to Her Majesty when she visits & selects Jamilla to do the honours. Unfortunately for the school, the Queen's schedule is behind & to make up time they drop the visit to the school from the schedule. However nobody tells Miss Courtney & the others. When a Mrs Baxter arrives downstairs she bears a stunning resemblance to the Queen. Mrs Baxter is looking for her Husband , Si

#6 - Better to Have Loved and Lost

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 2/17/1978

Jeremy asks the class how they spent their weekend. Danielle says her new boyfriend was doing something naughty with her on the motorway and the police made him stop.! (he was speeding.!) Jeremy asks the others in turn & is interupted by Ali & Su Lee who announce they are getting married. The class congratulates them & Ali invites them all to the wedding. One week later,it's the day before the wedding. Gladys asks Miss Courtney if she's going, but she says no. Giovanni & Max invite the boys & the Groom to the Pub after class, Gladys tells Jeremy Miss Courtney wants to see him in her office. When Jeremy goes to see her she introduces him to Ali's wife.! Jeremy has a talk to Ali in Miss Courtney's ofice. He tells him he cannot have two wives. Ali says his religion says he can. Jeremy tells him English law forbids it. Ali tells him he & his wife have tried to have a baby for 4 years, and his religion states that if it's o.k. with the first wife,he can find a second wife. Je

#7 - Brief Re-Encounter

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/21/1978

Miss Courtney's former Fiance returns and asks Her again if She would marry Him.

#8 - Many Happy Returns

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/28/1978

Sid can't believe his luck. Just when He was hard up for cash,He finds lots of it. Only problem is Ranjeet is the one who lost it.

#9 - How's Your Father?

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 3/17/1978

Could it be that Sid the Janitor is Jeremy's father?

#10 - Take your Partners

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/18/1978

Jeremy is talked into buying two tickets to the Ladies Circle Dance.

#11 - All Through the Night

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/20/1978

Max & Giovanni meet Sid the Janitor in the cafeteria. Sid teaches them some cockney rhyming slang. Jeremy comes in with a bag full of groceries for that evenings lesson & they walk to the classroom together. Jeremy wants the class to identify the items he's holding up & then asks if everyone completed the homework he gave them the night before. When no one has completed it he tells them they'll have to finish it before he lets them go home. Sid is locking up the school for the night thinking everyone has gone home. He locks Jeremy's classroom door & then goes to the pub for a drink. When Jeremy realises they're locked in and asks if anybody will miss them & come looking for them the class says no. So to pass the time he suggests the students tell jokes, Juan tells a joke in spanish & no one understands. When Sid is leaving the pub,his friend Charlie sees the light on in the classroom & everyone waving. Sid has to get Miss Courtney out of bed to Investigate. After the

#12 - Kill or Cure

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 2/24/1978

Poor Jeremy is sick with the flu,so his class decide to pay him a visit hoping to cheer him up.

#13 - The Best Things in Life

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 1/27/1978

Ali thinks he has won the football pools. He says he has eight score draws. Jeremy looks at his ticket & sees his eight score draws are not on the same line, so he hasn't won anything.! Jeremy has the class role playing real life situations, e.g. going to the Doctor, or going to the post office to post a letter or opening a bank account. Miss Courtney interupts the class to tell Jeremy that he's needed at the police station. Jamilla's been arrested for shoplifting.! Jeremy and Ali arrive at the police station & Ali talks to Jamilla to find out what happened. It seems Jamilla misunderstood 'free trial' and took the goods & left the store. Jeremy insists that the Sergeant look at his drivers licence & a five pound note falls out as the officer looks at the licence. Jeremy assures the Sergeant he wasn't trying to bribe him & donates the 'fiver' to the police charity collection box. The Sergeant lets Jamilla go,realising the misunderstanding and Jamilla takes Jeremy & Ali ba

#14 - A Hard Day's Night

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/11/1978

Jeremy's flat is being redecorated. Giovanni and Max invite him to spend the night at their place.

#15 - Come Back All is Forgiven

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/3/1978

It's Jeremy's Birthday & the class greets him singing Happy Birthday to you. Then they give him their gifts one at a time. Danielle gives the gift only she could give, Max & the other boys each give Jeremy an identical pen. Then it's on with the lesson, Today it's Vowel sounds. Miss Courtney says she wants to see Jeremy in her office, She tells him that she has found a female teacher to replace him. She reminds him that he was on a months trial & could have been replaced at any time. Jeremy is very annoyed & leaves straight away. He breaks the news to the class & goes home. Miss Courtney takes over until Miss Hardacre can come in to finish the lesson. The class decides to adopt a policy of non co-operation. When Miss Hardacre arrives and attempts to call the roll, no one answers. Miss Courtney has a meeting with Miss Hardacre & realises that she may have made a big mistake. Miss Hardacre has a few things to say about how Miss Courtney is running the school. The class

#16 - Don't Forget the Driver

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 11/4/1978

A road trip is planned for the class, but nothing goes according to plan.

#17 - Guilty or not Guilty?

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 11/24/1979

Jeremy sets the class a task to go out in pairs on a field trip and report back to him with the results of their outing. Jeremy is called to defend the class in court when they've each been arrested for disturbing the peace in some form or another. Jeremy is surprised to see that the Magistrate is Miss Courtney. In Pairs the class give their explanations as to what lead them to being arrested. Two by two they are exonerated due to missunderstandings or ignorance. However Jeremy is warned not to front the bench again or he'll be in serious trouble.! Jeremy tells Miss Courtney that it won't happen again & leaves the courtroom. While walking to his car a Policeman writes him a ticket for an expired road tax sticker.! a BIG thank you to LB who made this synopsis possible.

#18 - I Belong to Glasgow

Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 10/27/1979

Miss Courtney informs Jeremy that,Zoltan has gone back to Hungary. While in her office A Sheik arrives & wants to enrol his Scottish chauffer in an english class. Miss Courtney tells the Sheik they don't accept mid term enrolments. The Sheik offers Miss Courtney 2,000 pounds & Miss Courtney accepts. Jock (the chauffer) tells the class he's from Glasgow & the only one who understands him is Jeremy. Jeremy tries to improve Jock's diction. before long Jock has insulted everyone in the class & a near riot ensues. After a tea break Miss Courtney takes over Jeremy's class, while Jeremy is teaching the Sheik how to speak Scottish.!! a BIG thank you to LB who made this synopsis possible.

#19 - Repent at Leisure

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 12/1/1979

Miss Courtney gives Jeremy a cassette recorder to help his students with their elocution. In turn they all speak into the recorder & then Jeremy plays it back for them to listen to. Anna arrives late & soon bursts into tears. It seems her visa is expiring & she will be sent back to Germany. Max & Giovanni invite Jeremy to the pub after class, get him drunk & next day tell him that he proposed to Anna so she can stay in England. Jeremy tells Anna he can't marry her & she tells him not to worry,because she is from West Germany & is therefore part of the common market & can stay. However her friend Eva from East Germany who's visa is expiring needs to marry an Englishman so she can stay. Eva comes into the class room & starts to chase Jeremy around the room.! a BIG thank you to LB who made this synopsis possible.

#20 - A Fate Worse Than Death

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/13/1978

Danielle needs help with her homework, she asks Max to help her when Giovanni walks into the room with the answers to the homework which he will sell to them for only 10p each.! Ali arrives late from his new job as a travelling salesman & proceeds to sell his wares (ties,socks,scarves,gloves etc.)in the classroom. Jeremy tells him to sell his merchandise in his own time. Ranjeet arrives late also with an explanation, He's getting married to Surinder whom he was betrothed to when he was 12 years old. Only problem is Surinder has changed since then & Ranjeet would rather die than marry her.! Surinder arrives & wants to see Ranjeet, Ranjeet hides & asks Jeremy to tell her he's not there. At tea break time the students sneak Ranjeet to the cafeteria, soon Surinder goes there too & thinks she sees her betrothed hiding behind the curtain. Ranjeet has left his shoes & climbed out the window. He climbs back in through Miss Courtney's window & bumps into Surinder in the Hall. Jeremy tells S

#21 - Time and Tide

Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/1/1986

#22 - Easy Come Easy Go

Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/18/1986

#23 - Never say Die

Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/4/1986

#24 - All Present if not Correct

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 10/7/1978

Jeremy starts the new term wondering how many different students he'll have this time. He enters the classroom & meets Zoltan from Hungary who speaks very little English. Then he meets Ingrid from Sweden. One by one his students from last term arrive and Jeremy is very dissapointed, He feels he's failed by not teaching them anything. He also says there'll be twice as much homework this term. At tea break time, Zoltan wants Jeremy to help him write a love letter to his girlfriend. Jeremy does so & Zoltan is thanking him when Miss Courtney walks in to tell Jeremy she's not happy with his results from last term. She tells him she'll be watching him. Sid is in the cafeteria reading the paper.He tells Jeremy about the premium bonds winning number (1FF23232) Jeremy tells him that's his number, Jeremy has won 50,000 pounds.! Jeremy writes a nasty letter to Miss Courtney & wants Ali to deliver it. He mixes it up with the love letter he wrote for Zoltan & gives Zoltan the nasty one. J

#25 - No Flowers by Request

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/10/1979

Juan is having stomach pains before class & his classmates tell him he should see a Doctor. While answering a question he doubles over in pain & Jeremy sends for Mrs Foster the school nurse. Mrs Foster suspects it is his appendix and they rush him to Hospital. Later Juan comes back and he is allright, when they ask him what happened to Jeremy he tells them Jeremy fell and is in the Hospital with a broken leg. Miss Courtney takes over the class & during a tea break Juan rings the hospital to see how Jeremy is doing. The Nurse confuses John Brown with Jeremy Brown & tells Juan that Mr Brown passed away not long ago. Next morning Sid & Miss Courtney are wearing black arm bands and are standing in the hall when Jeremy comes up in the elevator in a wheelchair. They are startled when they see him & say we thought you were dead. The class are attending Mr Brown's funeral when Sid and Jeremy (still in a wheelchair)arrive. The students are happy to see him & Sid lets go of the ch