The BEST Episodes of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Sep 5, 2020
The whacky adventures of Ned Bigby and his best pals Moze and Cookie at James K. Polk Middle School, as "every-kid" Ned shatters the fourth wall to share tips and tricks on navigating middle school or junior high hurdles. Ned's not super cool, and he has no superpowers. He is, however, witty, well-groomed, upbeat and self-aware. Moreover, with more than a little help from his two best friends, he's equipped to conquer middle school minefields. From crushing bullies to crushes, from off- the-wall, mean and cool teachers to pop quizzes, elections and detentions, Ned knows that nothing, including the seventh grade, is as bad as it seems, and friendship matters most.
#1 - Guide to: Money & Parties
Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired Apr 7, 2007
Money: The trio need to raise money for a music festival; Ned borrows money from Missy that he must work off to pay her back; Moze gets her money from hard work; Cookie tries to get money from entertainment. Parties: Ned goes to Seth's party with Missy and tries to ditch her when Suzie unexpectedly shows up; Moze tries to kiss Ned to determine if she'll see sparks; Cookie is not invited, so he sneaks in as the girl named Simone.
#2 - Guide to: Health & Jealousy
Season 3 - Episode 19 - Aired Apr 28, 2007
Health: Ned suffers from an embarrassing itch; Moze tries to clean up the resuscitation dummy, but she throws it out the window and buries it, and Cookie thinks that it was Faymen; Cookie also is suffering from mood swings. Jealousy: Ned and Moze pretend to date to free Ned from Missy's jealous rage; Seth, Faymen and Loomer fight over Moze; Cookie attempts to make Lisa Zemo jealous by pretending to go out with another girl, but instead, it makes Evelyn Kwong jealous.
#3 - Guide to: Dismissal & The School Play
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired Oct 22, 2006
Dismissal: Ned, Moze and Cookie must make it to the bus on time; Suzie moves into Ned's locker, which messes with his dismissal routine; Moze and all the other girls are forced to wait to use the bathroom; Cookie accidentally kisses Evelyn Kwong and must avoid her. School Plays: The school puts on a production of Romeo and Juliet; Ned is determined to stop Spencer, who is playing Romeo, from kissing Suzie, who is playing Juliet; Moze, the stage manager, is determined to stop Ned and keep the play on track; Cookie helps Ned so that he can get the role of Romeo.
#4 - Guide to: Popularity & Stress
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired Oct 15, 2006
Popularity: Someone has made a list of the most popular kids at school. Ned tries to talk to Susie, even though he is not in the top ten. Cookie hunts down the list's maker to convince him to make Cookie popular. Lastly, Moze finds out she's one of Polk's top ten most popular kids, but still wants to hang out with her old friends. Stress: Ned is stressed because he thinks Suzie has a new boyfriend and wants to break up with him. Cookie is stressed because his arch rival, Evelyn beat him on a test, and Moze is stressed about becoming her English teacher when she grows up.
#5 - Guide to: Fundraising & Competition
Season 3 - Episode 15 - Aired Mar 10, 2007
Fundraising: Ned and Cookie must raise money in different ways after they eat all of the chocolate they were supposed to sell for school fundraising; Moze cannot seem to sell her last chocolate bar. Competition: Ned teams up with Missy to battle Loomer in a Social Studies competition; Moze must find a new rival now that Suzie has moved away; Cookie fakes his way to become Lisa's salsa dance partner for a dance competition.
#6 - Guide to: Getting Organized & Extra Credit
Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired Feb 24, 2007
Getting Organized: Ned's locker is a mess, and his brain is too! With the help of Mr. Sweeney, he needs to get organized. Moze and Cookie's favorite snack has been replaced by Powdered Mini Donuts in the vending machine, and they need to work together to get their favorite snack back. Extra Credit: Ned needs to get at least a B- or his mom will get really mad at him. Unfortunately, his average is a C+ in all classes. When asking his teachers how to bump his grade up, they all say the same thing: Extra Credit. Now he needs to complete four Extra Credit Assignments in just a few days. Meanwhile,Moze wants her mark bumped up to an A+, so she designs a very large Volcano and Cookie gets a Credit card that is to be used for emergencies, but he uses it for general purposes.
#7 - Guide to: The Library & Volunteering
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired Jan 27, 2007
Volunteering: Ned volunteers at a nursing home and shows an old lady around Polk; Moze volunteers to clean up the school back entrance with the help of Loomer, Crony and Buzz; Cookie competes with Evelyn Kwong in the school store. The Library: Ned and Cookie must solve the mystery of their missing library books; Moze "befriends" a girl in order to get a book she needs for a book report.
#8 - Guide to: Boys & Girls
Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired Feb 10, 2007
Boys: Ned goes through a phase when Suzie moves away. The guys try and get him back to normal, so he can continue his guide. Meanwhile, Moze starts a class to help girls with understanding guys. Girls: Ned has a hard time writing more tips when he realizes he has no tips about girls. So he asks Moze to take over for some tips. Cookie dresses up as a girl to find out what Liza Zemo likes in a guy.
#9 - Guide to: Your Body & Procrastination
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired Nov 12, 2005
Your Body: Moze freaks when she feels she is too tall. After crushing somebody's project, she really wants to become short. Ned tries to become strong after Coach agreed to Loomer that they'd have a weight lifting competition. Cookie tries to become overprotective so Loomer won't hurt him. Procrastination: Moze bets Ned that he won't finish his project on time and the loser has to stand in front of the school as a clown. Cookie creates a machine that will stop his procrastination problems. Moze also needs to learn to clog dance.
#10 - Guide to: Bathrooms & Project Partners
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Sep 19, 2004
Bathrooms: Cookie tries to hold using the bathroom but gets stuck in the girls' room. Moze puts Ned's name on a bathroom stall, and someone puts kissy lips next to it. Project Partners: Moze must choose a partner for Social Studies. Ned and Cookie's baby is kidnapped.
#11 - Guide to: First Day & Lockers
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired Sep 12, 2004
First Day: It's the first day of school, and Ned and Cookie discover Moze has taken Cooking instead of Art to separate herself from the guys for once. Lockers: When Ned's new locker neighbor gives him a bad rep, he searches for a new locker. Moze tries to use her locker to make new friends that are girls, but ends up competing with Suzie Crabgrass.
#12 - Guide to: Tests & When You Like Someone Who Is Going Out with Someone Else
Season 3 - Episode 20 - Aired Jun 2, 2007
Tests: Ned studies for three tests on the same day with the help of the school's geeks and becomes a geek himself in the process; Moze takes a test to see if Ned or Faymen is right for her and Faymen gets all perfect scores and Ned as a geek gets all zeroes; Cookie gives Evelyn Kwong a "test" to prove that they are incompatible and she decides to date Seth instead. When You Like Someone Who Is Going Out with Someone Else: Ned tries to confess to Moze that he likes her; Moze must decide between Ned and Faymen, while Faymen has a decide whether or not to go back to Brazil; Cookie eliminates all of Lisa Zemo's other admirers so that he can spend time with her; in a surprise ending reveal, Suzie has moved back to Polk.
#13 - Guide to: Field Trips, Permission Slips, Signs & Weasels (2)
Season 3 - Episode 22 - Aired Jun 8, 2007
The school goes on a field trip to a museum, including Ned, Moze and Cookie, even after they have been banned from the field trip by Vice-Principal Crubbs for trying to forge a permission slip for Cookie. Ned tries to spend time with Suzie while avoiding Crubbs; Moze tries to see the wild boy, and Loomer tries to spend time with her. Cookie becomes "the Steel Eagle" to impress Lisa Zemo. Eventually, all three are chased by Crubbs, museum security guards, and samurai actors. Ned then becomes the museum's titular Wild Boy and must choose between Suzie and Moze. He chooses Moze, they kiss, and become boyfriend and girlfriend, while Suzie decides to date Loomer again. Cookie learns of a plan to steal the museum's Wild Boy painting, so the trio gain the attention of the security guards and catch the thieves. Cookie wins a date with Lisa. Meanwhile, back at the school, Gordy tries to catch the weasel with the help of the other teachers, whose items have been destroyed by the weasel. They eventually demolish the entire school to catch the weasel, only to find out that it has given birth; feeling sympathetic, Gordy and the teachers decide to spare the weasel.
#14 - Guide to: Making New Friends & Positives and Negatives
Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired Mar 24, 2007
Making New Friends: Ned tries to be friends with Faymen, Moze wants a friend to go shopping with and Cookie befriends the Weasel. Positives and Negatives: Ned tries to cheer up the most negative kid in school, Moze finds out Faymen's kisses lack spark and Cookie tries to zap Loomer with static electricity
#15 - Guide to: Emergency Drills & Late Bus
Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired Feb 19, 2005
Emergency Drills:Every time Ned wants to ask Suzie to Chandra Taylor's party an emergency drill distracts him. Eventually, Ned gets to ask Suzie and she accepts. The only problem is Ned can't go to the party because he, Cookie, and Moze are trapped in Gordy's extra supply locker. Late Bus: When bus number 9 breaks down, all the kids are stuck waiting for another bus. Loomer makes a deal with Ned that he won't bully him for an entire year if Ned helps him get Moze's attention. Meanwhile, Cookie is leading a "Cookie's Late Bus After School Tour" in which he shows kids what teachers do after hours. We see Coach Dirga crying over a soap opera, and the worst possible thing ever, a teacher rap group taught by Lil' Romeo. Also, Moze makes friends with another Jennifer, but finds out it's her last day. And what we have seen, this may lead to a friendship between Moze and Suzie Crabgrass.
#16 - Guide to: Revenge & School Records
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired Jan 15, 2007
Revenge: When Ned gets revenge on Loomer, Martin notices and gives him names like "The Revenger." All the kids start to ask him to get revenge for them. A girl named Stacey wants revenge on Moze and the Wolf volleyball team. School Records: Ned wants to beat the hallway speed record, he runs into Crubbs. Crubbs marks Ned's permanent record. Cookie loses his perfect attendance award. Moze tries to beat the school record for the most school records in sport.
#17 - Guide to: Cell Phones & Woodshop
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired Feb 17, 2007
Cell Phones: Suzie and Ned try to keep their long-distance relationship, by talking in between classes. Moze gets a new phone she has no clue how to use. Cookie wears a jacket covered in 33 cellphones in attempt to win a Mustang Convertible from a local radio station. Woodshop: Ned and Cookie blow up the art room, and have to switch to woodshop. Moze is entering a woodshop competition. Ned keeps overhearing Moze and thinks she is talking about her feelings for him. Cookie is on the run from a killer saw named "Christine".
#18 - Guide to: School Websites & Valentine's Day
Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired Feb 11, 2006
School Websites: Ned, Moze and Cookie make changes to the school Web site, but problems arise; The Weasel takes control of the live webcam, which broadcasts embarrassing footage of Mr. Sweeney, who threatens to give the students detention for life; Moze is determined to take down a "Volleybabes" pop-up ad; Seth changes the website's password, but doesn't remember what it is, so they cannot shut down the website. Valentine’s Day: Ned sends Suzie a rose. Cookie sends himself multiple rose to try to be the hottest kid in school, and Moze becomes the hottest girl in school.
#19 - Guide to: Pep Rallies & Lunch
Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired Oct 8, 2005
Pep Rallies: Ned becomes school mascot Wolfie, so he can miss class. Moze struggles to give a peppy speech and Cookie tries to spice it up with his own Super Cookie halftime stunt! Together they realize the true meaning of pep rallies isn't about cheerleaders and jocks, but it can be about getting you in spirit with normal people. Lunch: Ned tries to stop "One Bite" who's taking is lunch and eating it in "one bite." After devising a plan with hot sauce, Ned is sure "One Bite" won't steal his lunch anymore. Moze wonders why Suzie doesn't want to sit with her at lunch. Moze tries everything she can possibly think of, yet none of it works. Cookie panics after lunch lady predicts doom.
#20 - Guide to: Crushes & Dances
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Oct 10, 2004
Crushes: Ned has a crush on Suzie and Cookie has developed a "perfect match" computer program. Coconut Head follows Moze and she thinks that Coconut head wants to ask her to the dance. Dances: Ned wants to dance with Suzie. But with her getting together and breaking up, will he be able to dance with her? Moze has dance tips of her own while Cookie waits for supermodel Martika after forcing to get her to be his perfect match.
#21 - Guide to: Asking Someone Out & Recycling
Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired Mar 4, 2006
Asking Someone Out: Ned tries to find out if Suzie will go on a date with him; Moze attempts to ask Seth out; Cookie helps Dr. Xavier ask Gordy out. Recycling: Ned, Cookie, and Moze compete to win a mountain bike in a recycling contest. Everything they collect is stolen, but Cookies idea of glueing bottles together ends up in him having it bought by an art collecter. Ned loses the guide in the recycling madness, and Moze sneaks into the teacher's lounge to collect recycling.
#22 - Guide to: Notes & Best Friends
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired Jan 9, 2005
Notes: Bitsy has Ned pass a note and Sweeney catches him, now he must pay. He has to write an essay along with everyone else so they plot revenge. Cookie finds joy in forging notes, but danger comes when he leads the teachers to the forgers "domain". Best Friends: Moze continues her search for a new best friend with a quiz and whoever matches up closely is meant for her. But Moze ends up joining the Huge Crew. The Killer Bees recruit Cookie which puts Ned and Cookie's friendship to the test. Ned tries to find a new best friend in place of Cookie.
#23 - Guide to: April Fools Day & Excuses
Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired Mar 25, 2006
April Fools Day: Vice Principal Crubbs pranks everyone on April Fools Day, so Ned, Cookie and Gordy devise a plan to prank him back; Moze attempts to break up with Seth, but he thinks it is an April Fools joke; the new superintendent also comes to visit. Excuses: A dog eats Ned's homework, but Sweeney doesn't believe him until the dog eats Sweeney's work, so the two team up to catch the dog; when Moze blows off a date with Seth, she makes up an excuse that her grandmother is in the hospital, but Seth wants to meet Moze's grandmother; Vanessa tells the same excuse to Cookie, but he does not believe it until he sends Vanessa's grandmother falling down the stairs.
#24 - Guide to: Reading & Principals
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired Oct 1, 2006
Reading: Ned tries ways to avoid his reading assignments, and Moze starts a girls-only book club that Cookie desperately wants to be in it. Principals: Principal Pal is retiring. It’s up to Ned, Moze and Cookie to find a new replacement, or VP Crubbs will get the job.
#25 - Guide to: The Bus & Bad Hair Days
Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired Nov 26, 2006
The Bus: Ned needs to get to school as quickly as possible to get a love note he left for Suzie that could ruin their relationship. Moze tries to get the new kid to sit with her, but Martin is making it difficult for her. Meanwhile, Cookie misses the bus and needs to find a way to get to school or his perfect no tardy record will be no more. Bad Hair Days: Ned needs to sneak over to the high school to get a free haircut so he will have enough money to take Suzie out on a date. Moze tries many different hair styles to try and get the new kid to like her. Finally, Cookie attempts to get Lisa to notice his very, very tiny mustache.