The WORST episodes of Duckman
Every episode of Duckman ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Duckman!
Duckman isn't your average suave, sophisticated private eye. In fact, he's rude, ignorant, slovenly, and hasn't had a date in years. With the help of his infinitely more capable sidekick, Cornfed, Duckman manages to solve enough cases to cover his alimony payments and cable TV bills.
#1 - Crime, Punishment, War, Peace, and the Idiot
Season 4 - Episode 17 - Aired 5/10/1997
Beverly asks Bernice if she knows anything about Grandma-ma's past. The coma-bound Grandma-ma recalls her past in a series of flashbacks that involves a tortured romance with two characters who look and sound a lot like Cornfed (Petrov) and Duckman (Trigorin) with Russian accents.
#2 - The One With Lisa Kudrow in a Small Role (a.k.a. Planet of the Dopes)
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 4/20/1996
Ajax is abducted by redneck aliens and taken to a planet where Duckman is praised as a deity and Ajax revered as ""The son of Dod.""
#3 - Forbidden Fruit
Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 1/13/1996
Duckman is slapped with a sexual harassment charge by the French nanny that Bernice has hired to tutor the boys. It seems the nanny isn't who she appears to be. In search of solitude Duckman moves in with Fluffy and Uranus; even they reach their breaking point with him.
#4 - Inherit the Judgement: The Dope's Trial
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 4/3/1995
Duckman, in search of his free clock radio, takes the family out to the desert. They wind up in a small town where King Chicken is the sheriff and Duckman is put on trial for being a heretic.
#5 - Research and Destroy
Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired 5/1/1995
Ajax's natural talent for poetry makes him popular. Duckman gets him signed to a contract for a job creating greeting cards, but Ajax isn't happy with his new occupation.
#6 - Noir Gang
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 1/6/1996
Feeling ""creatively obligated by a film-noir parody,"" Cornfed calls their new client ""a dame,"" whose name is Tamara La Boinque. Later he confesses to a priest about betraying his partner, when they both fall in love with their client.
#7 - The Girls of Route Canal
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 3/9/1996
Charles and Mambo are in love and look to Duckman for advice. He tells them a Bridges of Madison County-esque story of how he and their mother met and fell in love.
#8 - The Mallardian Candidate
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 3/16/1996
Former comedian Iggy Catalpa hires Duckman to investigate a conspiracy where the only evidence is a sock missing from his laundry. The conspirators capture Duckman and brainwash him into killing the only one who can stop them, Cornfed.
#9 - Pig Amok
Season 3 - Episode 11 - Aired 4/6/1996
(Willabald Feivel) Cornfed finds out from his father via a documentary co-written with Ken Burns, that he has a genetic disease that gives him a choice, either lose his virginity, or die in 24 hours. Duckman tries to help him out, but Bernice saves the day and Cornfed pledges his undying love. He becomes dejected when she rejects him and tries to commit suicide.
#10 - The Road to Dendron
Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired 5/11/1996
A parody of the Hope/Crosby Road pictures is done in this episode as Duckman and Cornfed act as chaperones for Ajax's class trip to the Sudan. Ajax is kidnapped. Duckman and Cornfed must rescue Ajax from a Sultan, his Fakir and a beautiful princess.
#11 - Ebony, Baby
Season 4 - Episode 15 - Aired 4/26/1997
Cornfed leaves for a much-needed vacation. While he is away, Duckman becomes mesmerized by a black model/private eye who quickly gets him involved in a world of murder, power, lust and every black exploitation cliche that exists with a side of a Spelling/Goldberg production.
#12 - Kidney, Popsicle, and Nuts
Season 4 - Episode 18 - Aired 5/24/1997
Duckman needs a new kidney. To get one requires a donation from a blood relative. He searches for his father, who he thought was cryogenically frozen. Instead he discovers that the man he thought was his father, wasn't. Using the power of the Microsoft Network (Blatant Plug!), the twins and Cornfed find where dad is currently living. Duckman and Cornfed travel there, only to find that his is a paranoid schizophrenic who's formed his own country.
#13 - Short, Plush and Deadly
Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 7/12/1997
The family goes on a dream holiday camping trip. At the park, they run into Fluffy and Uranus who are also on holiday. However, Duckman quickly puts them to work and gets himself banished from the campground. He takes Fluffy, Uranus and Cornfed with him off into the woods, but bees sting the accompanying trio. Cornfed's head swells and an allergic reaction causes Fluffy and Uranus to grow to gigantic proportions and become homicidal. Hearing Duckman's screams, Beverly and a reluctant Bernice go to the rescue leaving entertainer Jim Bailey keeps the boys and Grandma-ma entertained.
#14 - How to Suck in Business Without Really Trying
Season 4 - Episode 23 - Aired 7/19/1997
Duckman sells his identity to the Variecom corporation for $1000, which he immediately spends. Unable to use his own name or image, he is left penniless. He even tries to become a Duckman impersonator, until he is ""downsized."" Then he conceives a plan to get his self-respect and identity back. Meanwhile, Cornfed leaves to rejoin the 80's band A Flock of Seagulls.
#15 - Das Sub (a.k.a. Class Warfare)
Season 4 - Episode 26 - Aired 8/16/1997
Convicted of fraud, Duckman is sentenced to 5,000 hours of community service. He is sent to a dangerous inner-city high school, located a half a block from his house, where he becomes a substitute teacher and it turns out that his is the most ""Dangerous Mind.""
#16 - My Feral Lady
Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 6/21/1997
Duckman purchases a mail-order bride, from Tetzloff; however, she's really a jungle savage. With Cornfed's help, they attempt to civilize her a'la My Fair Lady. He asks for her hand in marriage on a ""Surprise Proposals"" episode of Leeza and things go awry when the flashbulbs go off.
#17 - T.V. or Not to Be
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/12/1994
Duckman is watching a TV program, but the family takes over the set when Mother Mirabelle's Home Miracle Network program starts airing. The family demands that Duckman help find Mother Mirabelle's stolen painting that helps create miracles. Duckman reluctantly agrees, but he is skeptical until he experiences his own miracle.
#18 - Not So Easy Riders
Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 4/30/1994
Duckman receives a letter from the IRS. The IRS agent is tough and Duckman is given 24 hours to pay $29,587.42 in back taxes. After asking his family for help and being rejected and lectured, Duckman tries anything. When he can't raise the funds, he and Cornfed go on the run and then on the road. Bernice falls for the IRS agent who's staying at the house waiting for Duckman to call.
#19 - Joking the Chicken
Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 6/11/1994
A group of comedians hire Duckman to stop a pathetic mild mannered politically correct chicken whose ""clean"" stand up routine becomes a comedy sensation. The chicken's routines are funny to everyone except Duckman, who soon discovers the source of his popularity.
#20 - Married Alive
Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/18/1995
Bernice returns home with news that she is getting married to a self-made billionaire who plans to take her and the kids away with him to Europe, leaving Duckman alone.
#21 - Days of Whining and Neurosis
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 3/25/1995
Duckman & Cornfed go undercover into an exclusive celebrity-filled health spa to investigate one of the support groups.
#22 - America the Beautiful
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 4/10/1995
As the disclaimer says at the beginning this episode is full ""of heavy handed and over-obvious allegory,"" when for some children, Duckman and Cornfed search for what has become of a beautiful model named America.
#23 - The Germ Turns
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/17/1995
The family goes to a new age fair and at one of the booths, Duckman meets his mother who's been reincarnated as a ""highly infectious germ"". He learns that if he parents his children correctly he won't come back as germ, so he showers his kids with too much affection.
#24 - In the Nam of the Father
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 4/24/1995
The son Cornfed never knew he had arrives at the office and Cornfed travels back to Vietnam to find the mother and the truth. Duckman takes his family along on the trip for a much needed vacation and must also deal with the flashbacks he is experiencing.
#25 - Clip Job
Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired 5/8/1995
Duckman is kidnapped by an irate viewer who doesn't like the lack of morals portrayed on his television show.