The BEST Episodes of Duckman

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Sep 18, 2021

Network: USA Network

Duckman isn't your average suave, sophisticated private eye. In fact, he's rude, ignorant, slovenly, and hasn't had a date in years. With the help of his infinitely more capable sidekick, Cornfed, Duckman manages to solve enough cases to cover his alimony payments and cable TV bills.

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Where No Duckman Has Gone Before

#1 - Where No Duckman Has Gone Before

Season 4 - Episode 27 - Aired Aug 23, 1997

In a send-up of the Paramount franchise, Eric Tiberius Duckman, captain of the starship Enterprise matches wits against the evil Khan Chicken.

star 9.47
36 votes
Directors: Steve Loter
Writers: Gene Laufenberg
Color of Naught

#2 - Color of Naught

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired Jan 27, 1996

Duckman again foils King Chicken's plot for revenge. This time King Chicken has produced a product that makes everything beautiful, everything except Duckman. The only problem being is that this product is actually a virus that de-evolves everything. Duckman must again battle King Chicken and save the world.

star 8.60
43 votes
Directors: John Eng
Writers: Michael Markowitz
American Dicks

#3 - American Dicks

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired May 28, 1994

The Duckman detective agency, the only agency not affected by the nationwide detective strike, becomes the focus of TV show American Dicks who are looking to solve their 100th case. Eventually, Duckman gets a case; the mission is to find the mayor.

star 8.17
18 votes
Directors: John Eng
Writers: Jeffrey Astrof, Mike Sikowitz
Aged Heat 2: Women in Heat

#4 - Aged Heat 2: Women in Heat

Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired Jan 18, 1997

Duckman is imprisoned for killing Fluffy and Uranus, again. However, he is accidentally sent to a women's prison. A dream of his comes true! In fact Duckman fits in quite well and becomes the star attraction in the warden's side business, a dance ring. Everything's going great until Suzy comes along.

star 8.11
35 votes
Directors: Peter Avanzino
Writers: Ed Scharlach, Eva Almos
Exile in Guyville

#5 - Exile in Guyville

Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired May 25, 1996

A young child is related the tale of how Duckman and Bernice led a nationwide division of sexes, all this because of his ad for lingerie. Duckman and the men move to the west coast. Bernice and the woman move to the east coast. The children have a different idea.

star 7.90
10 votes
Directors: Jeff McGrath
Writers: Ellen L. Fogle
Love! Anger! Kvetching! (a.k.a. Ain't Gonna Be No Mo No Mo')

#6 - Love! Anger! Kvetching! (a.k.a. Ain't Gonna Be No Mo No Mo')

Season 4 - Episode 13 - Aired Apr 12, 1997

Duckman plans a big poker for the evening. Unfortunately before the game his obnoxious Uncle Mo arrives and claims he is dying. To avoid the curse that befell his cousin, Duckman tries to wait on him hand and foot. Just how much of his Uncle can he take?

star 7.86
7 votes
Directors: Anthony Bell
Writers: Michael Markowitz
Short, Plush and Deadly

#7 - Short, Plush and Deadly

Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired Jul 12, 1997

The family goes on a dream holiday camping trip. At the park, they run into Fluffy and Uranus who are also on holiday. However, Duckman quickly puts them to work and gets himself banished from the campground. He takes Fluffy, Uranus and Cornfed with him off into the woods, but bees sting the accompanying trio. Cornfed's head swells and an allergic reaction causes Fluffy and Uranus to grow to gigantic proportions and become homicidal. Hearing Duckman's screams, Beverly and a reluctant Bernice go to the rescue leaving entertainer Jim Bailey keeps the boys and Grandma-ma entertained.

star 7.78
9 votes
Writers: Lisa Moricoli Latham
Sperms of Endearment

#8 - Sperms of Endearment

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired Feb 10, 1996

Bernice, Duckmans sister-in-law, decides she wants to have a child of her own. After trying the dating scene she decides to give artificial insemination a go. Due to a mis-communication and over abundance of, er, 'product', the service gives her Duckmans 'donation'. Hilarity ensues as Duckman and Bernice are incompatible in every [in] conceivable way.

star 7.77
13 votes
Directors: Jeff McGrath
Writers: Bill Canterbury, Gene Laufenberg
My Feral Lady

#9 - My Feral Lady

Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired Jun 21, 1997

Duckman purchases a mail-order bride, from Tetzloff; however, she's really a jungle savage. With Cornfed's help, they attempt to civilize her a'la My Fair Lady. He asks for her hand in marriage on a ""Surprise Proposals"" episode of Leeza and things go awry when the flashbulbs go off.

star 7.70
10 votes
Writers: Dan Gerson
It's the Thing of the Principal

#10 - It's the Thing of the Principal

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired May 7, 1994

Bernice is worried about Ajax, who's not been eating and has been sent to the principal every day this week. Duckman and Cornfed go undercover in the school to find out what's up with Ajax. It turns out that Ajax is in love with the vice principal and she's in love with him. They take off together with plans to get married, south of the border. Duckman and Bernice pose as a couple and go after them.

star 7.70
20 votes
Writers: Ron Lux
About Face

#11 - About Face

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Jun 4, 1994

Duckman calls 911 in an emergency and falls in love with the voice on the other end of the line. When they meet, her looks leave a whole lot to be desired. Then she gets a complete makeover that changes her life.

star 7.67
15 votes
Directors: Raymie Muzquiz
Writers: Bill Fuller, Jim Pond
Kidney, Popsicle, and Nuts

#12 - Kidney, Popsicle, and Nuts

Season 4 - Episode 18 - Aired May 24, 1997

Duckman needs a new kidney. To get one requires a donation from a blood relative. He searches for his father, who he thought was cryogenically frozen. Instead he discovers that the man he thought was his father, wasn't. Using the power of the Microsoft Network (Blatant Plug!), the twins and Cornfed find where dad is currently living. Duckman and Cornfed travel there, only to find that his is a paranoid schizophrenic who's formed his own country.

star 7.67
9 votes
Directors: Stig Bergquist
Writers: David Silverman, Stephen Sustarsic
A Room With a Bellevue

#13 - A Room With a Bellevue

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired Feb 17, 1996

Duckman gets placed in a mental institution after pleading temporary insanity to a charge of public ranting. He likes the strict regimentation of the institution (compared to the anarchy and choas of outside the institution) so much that he decides to have himself permanently commited. Cornfed comes to rescue Duckman from the institution, but is to late as he has already been given shock treatment. Luckily Cornfed has a book on brain surgery and gets Duckman back to 'normal'. [note: the original version of this episode has a small section where Duckman is being dragged through a room where some residents are being given a test, and Dr. Stein asks them about seeing Duckman and a question of time. For some strange reason this scene is usually cut.]

star 7.67
12 votes
Directors: Peter Avanzino
Writers: Jeffrey Ventimilia, Joshua Sternin
Apocalypse Not

#14 - Apocalypse Not

Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired Feb 24, 1996

After the city gets attacked by one of Duckmans over-inflated dolls, the city decides to have an emergency drill where all the residents go underground till the drill passes. Duckman fails to know about the drill and has a city-wide 'party' (involving mass destrution) while all the residents are gone. Eventually the residents return to chase Duckman out of town.

star 7.64
11 votes
Directors: Raymie Muzquiz
Writers: Bill Canterbury, David Misch, Gene Laufenberg, Michael Markowitz
Cellar Beware

#15 - Cellar Beware

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired May 21, 1994

Bernice decides they're going to act together as a family. For their first activity together, she invites the neighbors over for the monthly meeting of the block association. When a home security expert shows up, his pitch gets Duckman to buy the most elaborate security system, the ""Interlopen Fuhrer 2000,"" which of course doesn't do the job and then Duckman fixes it...

star 7.61
23 votes
Directors: Norton Virgien
Writers: Ladd Graham
T.V. or Not to Be

#16 - T.V. or Not to Be

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Mar 12, 1994

Duckman is watching a TV program, but the family takes over the set when Mother Mirabelle's Home Miracle Network program starts airing. The family demands that Duckman help find Mother Mirabelle's stolen painting that helps create miracles. Duckman reluctantly agrees, but he is skeptical until he experiences his own miracle.

star 7.57
42 votes
Directors: Raymie Muzquiz
Writers: Bernie Keating
Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial

#17 - Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired Apr 3, 1995

Duckman, in search of his free clock radio, takes the family out to the desert. They wind up in a small town where ""King"" Chicken is the sheriff and Duckman is put on trial for being a heretic.

star 7.57
21 votes
Directors: Jeff McGrath
Writers: Michael Markowitz
In the Nam of the Father

#18 - In the Nam of the Father

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Apr 24, 1995

The son Cornfed never knew he had arrives at the office and Cornfed travels back to Vietnam to find the mother and the truth. Duckman takes his family along on the trip for a much needed vacation and must also deal with the flashbacks he is experiencing.

star 7.56
16 votes
Directors: Norton Virgien
Writers: Jeffrey Astrof, Mike Sikowitz
Vuuck, as in Duck

#19 - Vuuck, as in Duck

Season 4 - Episode 16 - Aired May 3, 1997

Duckman inherits a minor league baseball team as the dying wish of the owner who is trying to keep the team from hands of a banker. To boost attendance he stages a series of stunts, that humiliate and scare the players into quitting. He ""hires"" nine super-models to take their place and they are an instant success. Cornfed teaches them the fundamentals of baseball and they become a great team. The banker institutes a scheme to prevent the supermodels from winning the big game and Cornfed discovers his other scheme on the Internet in the newsgroup alt.villians.greedy-schemes.

star 7.50
8 votes
Directors: Jeff McGrath
Writers: Brett Baer, David Finkel
Hamlet 2: This Time It's Personal

#20 - Hamlet 2: This Time It's Personal

Season 4 - Episode 25 - Aired Aug 2, 1997

Cornfed undergoes analysis and relates this tale about Duckman seeing the ghost of his uncle who says that Duckman's father was murdered by King Chicken. Duckman hangs with Bernice and King Chicken while pretending to be crazy. Cornfed realizes that Duckman is living out the plot of ""Hamlet,"" that will eventually lead to Duckman's death.

star 7.50
8 votes
Directors: Anthony Bell
Writers: David Misch
Das Sub (a.k.a. Class Warfare)

#21 - Das Sub (a.k.a. Class Warfare)

Season 4 - Episode 26 - Aired Aug 16, 1997

Convicted of fraud, Duckman is sentenced to 5,000 hours of community service. He is sent to a dangerous inner-city high school, located a half a block from his house, where he becomes a substitute teacher and it turns out that his is the most ""Dangerous Mind.""

star 7.50
10 votes
Directors: Peter Avanzino
Writers: Gene Grillo, Michael Markowitz
Clip Job

#22 - Clip Job

Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired May 8, 1995

Duckman is kidnapped by an irate viewer who doesn't like the lack of morals portrayed on his television show.

star 7.50
16 votes
Directors: Jeff McGrath
Writers: David Misch
The Once and Future Duck

#23 - The Once and Future Duck

Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired Apr 13, 1996

Ajax opens a rift in the time/space continuum with his clock radio. Duckman discovers from a future version of himself that his future hinges on Charles and Mambo's tuba recital. Unfortunately Duckman tries to use these visits from his future selves to make a his decisions and suddenly discover every little decision he makes has a big impact on his future.

star 7.50
12 votes
Directors: Peter Avanzino
Writers: Dean Batali, Rob Des Hotel
Gripes of Wrath

#24 - Gripes of Wrath

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Mar 19, 1994

A comment Duckman makes at the unveiling of a new supercomputer, named Loretta, makes the world a better place to live in, for a while anyway.

star 7.48
33 votes
Directors: Norton Virgien
Writers: Michael Markowitz
The Germ Turns

#25 - The Germ Turns

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired Apr 17, 1995

The family goes to a new age fair and at one of the booths, Duckman meets his mother who's been reincarnated as a ""highly infectious germ"". He learns that if he parents his children correctly he won't come back as germ, so he showers his kids with too much affection.

star 7.47
15 votes
Directors: Bob Hathcock
Writers: Bill Fuller, Jim Pond