The BEST Episodes of Duckman
Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!
Last Updated: Sep 18, 2021
Network: USA Network
Duckman isn't your average suave, sophisticated private eye. In fact, he's rude, ignorant, slovenly, and hasn't had a date in years. With the help of his infinitely more capable sidekick, Cornfed, Duckman manages to solve enough cases to cover his alimony payments and cable TV bills.
#1 - Where No Duckman Has Gone Before
Season 4 - Episode 27 - Aired Aug 23, 1997
In a send-up of the Paramount franchise, Eric Tiberius Duckman, captain of the starship Enterprise matches wits against the evil Khan Chicken.
#2 - Color of Naught
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired Jan 27, 1996
Duckman again foils King Chicken's plot for revenge. This time King Chicken has produced a product that makes everything beautiful, everything except Duckman. The only problem being is that this product is actually a virus that de-evolves everything. Duckman must again battle King Chicken and save the world.
#3 - American Dicks
Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired May 28, 1994
The Duckman detective agency, the only agency not affected by the nationwide detective strike, becomes the focus of TV show American Dicks who are looking to solve their 100th case. Eventually, Duckman gets a case; the mission is to find the mayor.
#4 - Aged Heat 2: Women in Heat
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired Jan 18, 1997
Duckman is imprisoned for killing Fluffy and Uranus, again. However, he is accidentally sent to a women's prison. A dream of his comes true! In fact Duckman fits in quite well and becomes the star attraction in the warden's side business, a dance ring. Everything's going great until Suzy comes along.
#5 - Exile in Guyville
Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired May 25, 1996
A young child is related the tale of how Duckman and Bernice led a nationwide division of sexes, all this because of his ad for lingerie. Duckman and the men move to the west coast. Bernice and the woman move to the east coast. The children have a different idea.
#6 - Love! Anger! Kvetching! (a.k.a. Ain't Gonna Be No Mo No Mo')
Season 4 - Episode 13 - Aired Apr 12, 1997
Duckman plans a big poker for the evening. Unfortunately before the game his obnoxious Uncle Mo arrives and claims he is dying. To avoid the curse that befell his cousin, Duckman tries to wait on him hand and foot. Just how much of his Uncle can he take?
#7 - Short, Plush and Deadly
Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired Jul 12, 1997
The family goes on a dream holiday camping trip. At the park, they run into Fluffy and Uranus who are also on holiday. However, Duckman quickly puts them to work and gets himself banished from the campground. He takes Fluffy, Uranus and Cornfed with him off into the woods, but bees sting the accompanying trio. Cornfed's head swells and an allergic reaction causes Fluffy and Uranus to grow to gigantic proportions and become homicidal. Hearing Duckman's screams, Beverly and a reluctant Bernice go to the rescue leaving entertainer Jim Bailey keeps the boys and Grandma-ma entertained.
#8 - Sperms of Endearment
Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired Feb 10, 1996
Bernice, Duckmans sister-in-law, decides she wants to have a child of her own. After trying the dating scene she decides to give artificial insemination a go. Due to a mis-communication and over abundance of, er, 'product', the service gives her Duckmans 'donation'. Hilarity ensues as Duckman and Bernice are incompatible in every [in] conceivable way.
#9 - My Feral Lady
Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired Jun 21, 1997
Duckman purchases a mail-order bride, from Tetzloff; however, she's really a jungle savage. With Cornfed's help, they attempt to civilize her a'la My Fair Lady. He asks for her hand in marriage on a ""Surprise Proposals"" episode of Leeza and things go awry when the flashbulbs go off.
#10 - It's the Thing of the Principal
Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired May 7, 1994
Bernice is worried about Ajax, who's not been eating and has been sent to the principal every day this week. Duckman and Cornfed go undercover in the school to find out what's up with Ajax. It turns out that Ajax is in love with the vice principal and she's in love with him. They take off together with plans to get married, south of the border. Duckman and Bernice pose as a couple and go after them.
#11 - About Face
Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired Jun 4, 1994
Duckman calls 911 in an emergency and falls in love with the voice on the other end of the line. When they meet, her looks leave a whole lot to be desired. Then she gets a complete makeover that changes her life.
#12 - Kidney, Popsicle, and Nuts
Season 4 - Episode 18 - Aired May 24, 1997
Duckman needs a new kidney. To get one requires a donation from a blood relative. He searches for his father, who he thought was cryogenically frozen. Instead he discovers that the man he thought was his father, wasn't. Using the power of the Microsoft Network (Blatant Plug!), the twins and Cornfed find where dad is currently living. Duckman and Cornfed travel there, only to find that his is a paranoid schizophrenic who's formed his own country.
#13 - A Room With a Bellevue
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired Feb 17, 1996
Duckman gets placed in a mental institution after pleading temporary insanity to a charge of public ranting. He likes the strict regimentation of the institution (compared to the anarchy and choas of outside the institution) so much that he decides to have himself permanently commited. Cornfed comes to rescue Duckman from the institution, but is to late as he has already been given shock treatment. Luckily Cornfed has a book on brain surgery and gets Duckman back to 'normal'. [note: the original version of this episode has a small section where Duckman is being dragged through a room where some residents are being given a test, and Dr. Stein asks them about seeing Duckman and a question of time. For some strange reason this scene is usually cut.]
#14 - Apocalypse Not
Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired Feb 24, 1996
After the city gets attacked by one of Duckmans over-inflated dolls, the city decides to have an emergency drill where all the residents go underground till the drill passes. Duckman fails to know about the drill and has a city-wide 'party' (involving mass destrution) while all the residents are gone. Eventually the residents return to chase Duckman out of town.
#15 - Cellar Beware
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired May 21, 1994
Bernice decides they're going to act together as a family. For their first activity together, she invites the neighbors over for the monthly meeting of the block association. When a home security expert shows up, his pitch gets Duckman to buy the most elaborate security system, the ""Interlopen Fuhrer 2000,"" which of course doesn't do the job and then Duckman fixes it...
#16 - T.V. or Not to Be
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Mar 12, 1994
Duckman is watching a TV program, but the family takes over the set when Mother Mirabelle's Home Miracle Network program starts airing. The family demands that Duckman help find Mother Mirabelle's stolen painting that helps create miracles. Duckman reluctantly agrees, but he is skeptical until he experiences his own miracle.
#17 - Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial
Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired Apr 3, 1995
Duckman, in search of his free clock radio, takes the family out to the desert. They wind up in a small town where ""King"" Chicken is the sheriff and Duckman is put on trial for being a heretic.
#18 - In the Nam of the Father
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired Apr 24, 1995
The son Cornfed never knew he had arrives at the office and Cornfed travels back to Vietnam to find the mother and the truth. Duckman takes his family along on the trip for a much needed vacation and must also deal with the flashbacks he is experiencing.
#19 - Vuuck, as in Duck
Season 4 - Episode 16 - Aired May 3, 1997
Duckman inherits a minor league baseball team as the dying wish of the owner who is trying to keep the team from hands of a banker. To boost attendance he stages a series of stunts, that humiliate and scare the players into quitting. He ""hires"" nine super-models to take their place and they are an instant success. Cornfed teaches them the fundamentals of baseball and they become a great team. The banker institutes a scheme to prevent the supermodels from winning the big game and Cornfed discovers his other scheme on the Internet in the newsgroup alt.villians.greedy-schemes.
#20 - Hamlet 2: This Time It's Personal
Season 4 - Episode 25 - Aired Aug 2, 1997
Cornfed undergoes analysis and relates this tale about Duckman seeing the ghost of his uncle who says that Duckman's father was murdered by King Chicken. Duckman hangs with Bernice and King Chicken while pretending to be crazy. Cornfed realizes that Duckman is living out the plot of ""Hamlet,"" that will eventually lead to Duckman's death.
#21 - Das Sub (a.k.a. Class Warfare)
Season 4 - Episode 26 - Aired Aug 16, 1997
Convicted of fraud, Duckman is sentenced to 5,000 hours of community service. He is sent to a dangerous inner-city high school, located a half a block from his house, where he becomes a substitute teacher and it turns out that his is the most ""Dangerous Mind.""
#22 - Clip Job
Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired May 8, 1995
Duckman is kidnapped by an irate viewer who doesn't like the lack of morals portrayed on his television show.
#23 - The Once and Future Duck
Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired Apr 13, 1996
Ajax opens a rift in the time/space continuum with his clock radio. Duckman discovers from a future version of himself that his future hinges on Charles and Mambo's tuba recital. Unfortunately Duckman tries to use these visits from his future selves to make a his decisions and suddenly discover every little decision he makes has a big impact on his future.
#24 - Gripes of Wrath
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Mar 19, 1994
A comment Duckman makes at the unveiling of a new supercomputer, named Loretta, makes the world a better place to live in, for a while anyway.
#25 - The Germ Turns
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired Apr 17, 1995
The family goes to a new age fair and at one of the booths, Duckman meets his mother who's been reincarnated as a ""highly infectious germ"". He learns that if he parents his children correctly he won't come back as germ, so he showers his kids with too much affection.