The BEST episodes of Duckman

Every episode of Duckman ever, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Duckman!

Duckman isn't your average suave, sophisticated private eye. In fact, he's rude, ignorant, slovenly, and hasn't had a date in years. With the help of his infinitely more capable sidekick, Cornfed, Duckman manages to solve enough cases to cover his alimony payments and cable TV bills.

Last Updated: 9/11/2023Network: USA NetworkStatus: Ended
Where No Duckman Has Gone Before
38 votes

#1 - Where No Duckman Has Gone Before

Season 4 - Episode 27 - Aired 8/23/1997

In a send-up of the Paramount franchise, Eric Tiberius Duckman, captain of the starship Enterprise matches wits against the evil Khan Chicken.

Directors: Steve Loter
Color of Naught
43 votes

#2 - Color of Naught

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/27/1996

Duckman again foils King Chicken's plot for revenge. This time King Chicken has produced a product that makes everything beautiful, everything except Duckman. The only problem being is that this product is actually a virus that de-evolves everything. Duckman must again battle King Chicken and save the world.

Directors: John Eng
American Dicks
19 votes

#3 - American Dicks

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 5/28/1994

The Duckman detective agency, the only agency not affected by the nationwide detective strike, becomes the focus of TV show American Dicks who are looking to solve their 100th case. Eventually, Duckman gets a case; the mission is to find the mayor.

Directors: John Eng
Aged Heat 2: Women in Heat
36 votes

#4 - Aged Heat 2: Women in Heat

Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/18/1997

Duckman is imprisoned for killing Fluffy and Uranus, again. However, he is accidentally sent to a women's prison. A dream of his comes true! In fact Duckman fits in quite well and becomes the star attraction in the warden's side business, a dance ring. Everything's going great until Suzy comes along.

Directors: Peter Avanzino
Exile in Guyville
11 votes

#5 - Exile in Guyville

Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired 5/25/1996

A young child is related the tale of how Duckman and Bernice led a nationwide division of sexes, all this because of his ad for lingerie. Duckman and the men move to the west coast. Bernice and the woman move to the east coast. The children have a different idea.

Directors: Jeff McGrath
Sperms of Endearment
14 votes

#6 - Sperms of Endearment

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/10/1996

Bernice, Duckmans sister-in-law, decides she wants to have a child of her own. After trying the dating scene she decides to give artificial insemination a go. Due to a mis-communication and over abundance of, er, 'product', the service gives her Duckmans 'donation'. Hilarity ensues as Duckman and Bernice are incompatible in every [in] conceivable way.

Directors: Jeff McGrath
Apocalypse Not
12 votes

#7 - Apocalypse Not

Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 2/24/1996

After the city gets attacked by one of Duckmans over-inflated dolls, the city decides to have an emergency drill where all the residents go underground till the drill passes. Duckman fails to know about the drill and has a city-wide 'party' (involving mass destrution) while all the residents are gone. Eventually the residents return to chase Duckman out of town.

Directors: Raymie Muzquiz
Love! Anger! Kvetching! (a.k.a. Ain't Gonna Be No Mo No Mo')
8 votes

#8 - Love! Anger! Kvetching! (a.k.a. Ain't Gonna Be No Mo No Mo')

Season 4 - Episode 13 - Aired 4/12/1997

Duckman plans a big poker for the evening. Unfortunately before the game his obnoxious Uncle Mo arrives and claims he is dying. To avoid the curse that befell his cousin, Duckman tries to wait on him hand and foot. Just how much of his Uncle can he take?

Directors: Anthony Bell
Kidney, Popsicle, and Nuts
10 votes

#9 - Kidney, Popsicle, and Nuts

Season 4 - Episode 18 - Aired 5/24/1997

Duckman needs a new kidney. To get one requires a donation from a blood relative. He searches for his father, who he thought was cryogenically frozen. Instead he discovers that the man he thought was his father, wasn't. Using the power of the Microsoft Network (Blatant Plug!), the twins and Cornfed find where dad is currently living. Duckman and Cornfed travel there, only to find that his is a paranoid schizophrenic who's formed his own country.

Directors: Stig Bergquist
A Room With a Bellevue
13 votes

#10 - A Room With a Bellevue

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/17/1996

Duckman gets placed in a mental institution after pleading temporary insanity to a charge of public ranting. He likes the strict regimentation of the institution (compared to the anarchy and choas of outside the institution) so much that he decides to have himself permanently commited. Cornfed comes to rescue Duckman from the institution, but is to late as he has already been given shock treatment. Luckily Cornfed has a book on brain surgery and gets Duckman back to 'normal'. [note: the original version of this episode has a small section where Duckman is being dragged through a room where some residents are being given a test, and Dr. Stein asks them about seeing Duckman and a question of time. For some strange reason this scene is usually cut.]

Directors: Peter Avanzino
Cellar Beware
24 votes

#11 - Cellar Beware

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 5/21/1994

Bernice decides they're going to act together as a family. For their first activity together, she invites the neighbors over for the monthly meeting of the block association. When a home security expert shows up, his pitch gets Duckman to buy the most elaborate security system, the ""Interlopen Fuhrer 2000,"" which of course doesn't do the job and then Duckman fixes it...

Directors: Norton Virgien
Writer: Ladd Graham
About Face
17 votes

#12 - About Face

Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 6/4/1994

Duckman calls 911 in an emergency and falls in love with the voice on the other end of the line. When they meet, her looks leave a whole lot to be desired. Then she gets a complete makeover that changes her life.

Directors: Raymie Muzquiz
Short, Plush and Deadly
11 votes

#13 - Short, Plush and Deadly

Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 7/12/1997

The family goes on a dream holiday camping trip. At the park, they run into Fluffy and Uranus who are also on holiday. However, Duckman quickly puts them to work and gets himself banished from the campground. He takes Fluffy, Uranus and Cornfed with him off into the woods, but bees sting the accompanying trio. Cornfed's head swells and an allergic reaction causes Fluffy and Uranus to grow to gigantic proportions and become homicidal. Hearing Duckman's screams, Beverly and a reluctant Bernice go to the rescue leaving entertainer Jim Bailey keeps the boys and Grandma-ma entertained.

The Once and Future Duck
13 votes

#14 - The Once and Future Duck

Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired 4/13/1996

Ajax opens a rift in the time/space continuum with his clock radio. Duckman discovers from a future version of himself that his future hinges on Charles and Mambo's tuba recital. Unfortunately Duckman tries to use these visits from his future selves to make a his decisions and suddenly discover every little decision he makes has a big impact on his future.

Directors: Peter Avanzino
T.V. or Not to Be
43 votes

#15 - T.V. or Not to Be

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 3/12/1994

Duckman is watching a TV program, but the family takes over the set when Mother Mirabelle's Home Miracle Network program starts airing. The family demands that Duckman help find Mother Mirabelle's stolen painting that helps create miracles. Duckman reluctantly agrees, but he is skeptical until he experiences his own miracle.

Directors: Raymie Muzquiz
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It's the Thing of the Principal
22 votes

#16 - It's the Thing of the Principal

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 5/7/1994

Bernice is worried about Ajax, who's not been eating and has been sent to the principal every day this week. Duckman and Cornfed go undercover in the school to find out what's up with Ajax. It turns out that Ajax is in love with the vice principal and she's in love with him. They take off together with plans to get married, south of the border. Duckman and Bernice pose as a couple and go after them.

Writer: Ron Lux
Das Sub (a.k.a. Class Warfare)
12 votes

#17 - Das Sub (a.k.a. Class Warfare)

Season 4 - Episode 26 - Aired 8/16/1997

Convicted of fraud, Duckman is sentenced to 5,000 hours of community service. He is sent to a dangerous inner-city high school, located a half a block from his house, where he becomes a substitute teacher and it turns out that his is the most ""Dangerous Mind.""

Directors: Peter Avanzino
Vuuck, as in Duck
9 votes

#18 - Vuuck, as in Duck

Season 4 - Episode 16 - Aired 5/3/1997

Duckman inherits a minor league baseball team as the dying wish of the owner who is trying to keep the team from hands of a banker. To boost attendance he stages a series of stunts, that humiliate and scare the players into quitting. He ""hires"" nine super-models to take their place and they are an instant success. Cornfed teaches them the fundamentals of baseball and they become a great team. The banker institutes a scheme to prevent the supermodels from winning the big game and Cornfed discovers his other scheme on the Internet in the newsgroup alt.villians.greedy-schemes.

Directors: Jeff McGrath
My Feral Lady
11 votes

#19 - My Feral Lady

Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 6/21/1997

Duckman purchases a mail-order bride, from Tetzloff; however, she's really a jungle savage. With Cornfed's help, they attempt to civilize her a'la My Fair Lady. He asks for her hand in marriage on a ""Surprise Proposals"" episode of Leeza and things go awry when the flashbulbs go off.

Writer: Dan Gerson
Cock Tales for Four
12 votes

#20 - Cock Tales for Four

Season 3 - Episode 20 - Aired 7/6/1996

Duckman and Bernice go to meet the parent's of Ajax's girlfriend. The parents turn out to be ""King"" Chicken and his wife; surprisingly for the moment he and Duckman make up. Bernice and the ""King"" also mend their fence; however, Honey makes a play for Duckman to put things back to normal.

The Germ Turns
16 votes

#21 - The Germ Turns

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 4/17/1995

The family goes to a new age fair and at one of the booths, Duckman meets his mother who's been reincarnated as a ""highly infectious germ"". He learns that if he parents his children correctly he won't come back as germ, so he showers his kids with too much affection.

Directors: Bob Hathcock
How to Suck in Business Without Really Trying
12 votes

#22 - How to Suck in Business Without Really Trying

Season 4 - Episode 23 - Aired 7/19/1997

Duckman sells his identity to the Variecom corporation for $1000, which he immediately spends. Unable to use his own name or image, he is left penniless. He even tries to become a Duckman impersonator, until he is ""downsized."" Then he conceives a plan to get his self-respect and identity back. Meanwhile, Cornfed leaves to rejoin the 80's band A Flock of Seagulls.

Directors: Jaime Diaz
Writer: Ellis Weiner
Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial
21 votes

#23 - Inherit the Judgment: The Dope's Trial

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 4/3/1995

Duckman, in search of his free clock radio, takes the family out to the desert. They wind up in a small town where ""King"" Chicken is the sheriff and Duckman is put on trial for being a heretic.

Directors: Jeff McGrath
In the Nam of the Father
16 votes

#24 - In the Nam of the Father

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 4/24/1995

The son Cornfed never knew he had arrives at the office and Cornfed travels back to Vietnam to find the mother and the truth. Duckman takes his family along on the trip for a much needed vacation and must also deal with the flashbacks he is experiencing.

Directors: Norton Virgien
The Girls of Route Canal
7 votes

#25 - The Girls of Route Canal

Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 3/9/1996

Charles and Mambo are in love and look to Duckman for advice. He tells them a Bridges of Madison County-esque story of how he and their mother met and fell in love.

Writer: Brian Kahn

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