The WORST episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?
Every episode of Car 54, Where Are You? ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?!
Car 54, Where Are You? features the misadventures of two of New York's finest in the mythical 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Gunther Toody, a short, stocky and dim-witted henpecked husband, is partnered with Francis Muldoon, a tall, lanky and smart bachelor.
#1 - The Curse of the Snitkins
Season 2 - Episode 30 - Aired 4/14/1963
After Muldoon and Toody meet shy officer Snitkin, they convince him to join their precinct, not realizing that Snitkins is a jinx where ever he's gone.
#2 - Je t'adore Muldoon
Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/30/1962
When the guys try to build up Muldoon's confidence enough to invite Capt. Block's niece to the Mardi Gras, Muldoon becomes an egomaniac for a day.
#3 - That's Show Business
Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/4/1962
The 53rd precinct invests money into a big-time play, not realizing that it's actually a play about a corrupt police department.
#4 - The Presidential Itch
Season 2 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/20/1963
Toody and Muldoon run against each other for president of the Brotherhood Club.
#5 - Joan Crawford Didn't Say No
Season 2 - Episode 26 - Aired 3/17/1963
With her charming ways, Mrs. Bronson practices a marriage brokerage fraudulently promising her clients marriage with movie stars.
#7 - Catch Me on the Paar Show
Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/26/1961
After Toody and Muldoon give Hugh Downs a ticket for speeding, Toody takes the opportunity to introduce Hugh to Officer Fleischer, a comedian, hoping that his buddy will be discovered for his talent.
#8 - Here Comes Charlie
Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired 2/24/1963
The precinct works hard to both rehabilitate and employ alcoholic Charlie.
#9 - Stop Thief
Season 2 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/16/1962
After overhearing Capt. Block rehearsing a play, Toody and Muldoon get the mistaken impression that the Captain is a kleptomaniac.
#10 - Christmas at the 53rd
Season 1 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/24/1961
The 53rd Precinct puts on a special Christmas program for friends and family, featuring mostly songs depicting life at the 53rd Precinct rather than Christmas Carols.
#11 - Paint Job
Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/1961
The precinct tries to uncover a group of car thieves who specialize in repainting their loot and reselling.
#12 - The Biggest Day of the Year
Season 2 - Episode 22 - Aired 2/17/1963
After Toody casually mentions that today is an important day, rumors fly sending the precinct into a panic because no one can remember what occasion they've supposedly forgotten.
#13 - Puncher and Judy
Season 2 - Episode 29 - Aired 4/7/1963
Judy thinks that her boyfriend Antoinne (a hair dresser), ought to quit boxing during his spare time so she asks Toody and Muldoon to intervene. They get Sugar Ray Robinson to disguise himself as an old man, to aid them in getting Antoinne to retire from the ring, but as it turns out, since Antoinne uses boxing as an emotional outlet he becomes anything but nice, insulting his clients at the beauty parlor. Toody and Muldoon admit to Antoinne their deceit in the matter, and Antoinne returns to the ring and his former pleasant self.
#14 - The Loves of Sylvia Schnauser
Season 2 - Episode 28 - Aired 3/31/1963
The precinct uses Sylvia Schnauser as a decoy to rid the town of ""Discovery Publishers"" which is run by a couple of con artists. As part of her cover, Sylvia insinuates that she is writing a book on the secrets of precinct life, and she ends up getting the whole crew in an uproad, afraid of exposure.
#15 - What Happened to Thursday?
Season 1 - Episode 22 - Aired 2/18/1962
Every Thursday the Schnausers have a fight, so the next Thursday, Toody and Muldoon decide to convince Leo that it's really Friday, rather than Thursday. In the process, they confuse almost everyone on the police force to wonder what day it really is.
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#16 - Benny the Bookie's Last Chance
Season 2 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/13/1963
Toody and Muldoon help set up ex-con Benny in a candy store business, but he doesn't waste time getting involved in the shadier side of life which gets him into hot water once again.
#17 - The White Elephant
Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/6/1963
A group of crooks move to town right next door to the bank with full intention of robbing it; however, every attempt to break the adjacent wall down is interrupted by Toody and Muldoon who are just trying to help them make a go of their restaurant business. In the end, the restaurant goes so well that the owner and his pals decide that being an upstanding citizen isn't that bad after all.
#18 - Hail to the Chief
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/16/1962
First episode of the new season. The President is coming to New York to speak at the U.N. and two top-drawer officers are needed to drive him from the airport. The talent hunt produces those two intrepids: Toody and Muldoon.Before Toody and Muldoon are allowed to drive the President, they must be checked out by the Secret Service. The President is Muldoon's hero, so he is extremely nervous about the assignment, but says that he will be all right as long as the President is not mentioned by name. In the car, the Secret Service agent wonders why Muldoon doesn't want to talk about the President; gets suspicious; and with all the talk, Muldoon gets carsick. The agent's superiors don't believe him. Muldoon gets tranquilizers from a doctor but they only cause him to fall asleep at the wheel. Then he gets anti-depressants which cause him to burst out laughing at the wrong times. The program ends with the President seen arriving in New York City (via newsfilm) and with Toody and Muldoon watchi
#19 - Home Sweet Sing Sing
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/1/1961
Toody and his wife taken in an ex-con, hoping to rehabilitate him.
#20 - Thirty Days Notice
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/19/1961
Disgusted by the conditions of their apartment, Toody gives his landlord Mr. Corfu 30 days notice. Mr. Corfu is absolutely thrilled with this decision and promptly seeks to find another family to move in. Meanwhile Toody and Lucille have trouble finding suitable housing as a replacement, so Toody makes plans to sublet an apartment of Al Cooper who is very possibly going to be spending 3-5 years in prison anyway. In the end, Mr. Cooper gets vindicated, the family that takes over the Toody apartment moves out because of the awful living conditions, the Toodys move back in, and everything is back to normal.
#21 - See You at the Bar Mitzvah
Season 2 - Episode 24 - Aired 3/3/1963
As a boys' coach, both Muldoon and Toody promise Joel that he will have guests at his Bar Mitzvah. The problem is that Joel's dad is a notoriously cruel landlord, and getting folks to come is not as easy as they'd thought.
#22 - I Hate Captain Block
Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/18/1962
While bird sitting for Capt. Block's parrot, Toody inadvertently teaches it to say ""I hate Capt. Block.""
#23 - Remember St. Petersburg
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/28/1962
Under the mistaken impression that Leo is a count from Russia, a group of crooked spiritualist try to manipulate to benefit financially from the situation.
#24 - Quiet! We're Thinking
Season 1 - Episode 29 - Aired 4/8/1962
Unknowingly, Toody's 11 year old nephew Marvin's casual remarks help Toody and Muldoon solve tough cases, but by the time they realize what's happening, they're not the only ones that want to have Marvin around.
#25 - The Courtship of Sylvia Schnauser
Season 1 - Episode 27 - Aired 3/25/1962
After attending a large wedding, Sylvia becomes upset that she had been married by a justice of the peace, insisting upon rectifying that situation at all costs.
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