The WORST episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?
Every episode of Car 54, Where Are You? ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?!
Car 54, Where Are You? features the misadventures of two of New York's finest in the mythical 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Gunther Toody, a short, stocky and dim-witted henpecked husband, is partnered with Francis Muldoon, a tall, lanky and smart bachelor.
#1 - Joan Crawford Didn't Say No
Season 2 - Episode 26 - Aired 3/17/1963
With her charming ways, Mrs. Bronson practices a marriage brokerage fraudulently promising her clients marriage with movie stars.
#2 - Christmas at the 53rd
Season 1 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/24/1961
The 53rd Precinct puts on a special Christmas program for friends and family, featuring mostly songs depicting life at the 53rd Precinct rather than Christmas Carols.
#3 - The Curse of the Snitkins
Season 2 - Episode 30 - Aired 4/14/1963
After Muldoon and Toody meet shy officer Snitkin, they convince him to join their precinct, not realizing that Snitkins is a jinx where ever he's gone.
#4 - That's Show Business
Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/4/1962
The 53rd precinct invests money into a big-time play, not realizing that it's actually a play about a corrupt police department.
#5 - The Presidential Itch
Season 2 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/20/1963
Toody and Muldoon run against each other for president of the Brotherhood Club.
#6 - What Happened to Thursday?
Season 1 - Episode 22 - Aired 2/18/1962
Every Thursday the Schnausers have a fight, so the next Thursday, Toody and Muldoon decide to convince Leo that it's really Friday, rather than Thursday. In the process, they confuse almost everyone on the police force to wonder what day it really is.
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#7 - Je t'adore Muldoon
Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/30/1962
When the guys try to build up Muldoon's confidence enough to invite Capt. Block's niece to the Mardi Gras, Muldoon becomes an egomaniac for a day.
#9 - Paint Job
Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/1961
The precinct tries to uncover a group of car thieves who specialize in repainting their loot and reselling.
#10 - Stop Thief
Season 2 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/16/1962
After overhearing Capt. Block rehearsing a play, Toody and Muldoon get the mistaken impression that the Captain is a kleptomaniac.
#11 - Here Comes Charlie
Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired 2/24/1963
The precinct works hard to both rehabilitate and employ alcoholic Charlie.
#12 - Catch Me on the Paar Show
Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/26/1961
After Toody and Muldoon give Hugh Downs a ticket for speeding, Toody takes the opportunity to introduce Hugh to Officer Fleischer, a comedian, hoping that his buddy will be discovered for his talent.
#13 - Puncher and Judy
Season 2 - Episode 29 - Aired 4/7/1963
Judy thinks that her boyfriend Antoinne (a hair dresser), ought to quit boxing during his spare time so she asks Toody and Muldoon to intervene. They get Sugar Ray Robinson to disguise himself as an old man, to aid them in getting Antoinne to retire from the ring, but as it turns out, since Antoinne uses boxing as an emotional outlet he becomes anything but nice, insulting his clients at the beauty parlor. Toody and Muldoon admit to Antoinne their deceit in the matter, and Antoinne returns to the ring and his former pleasant self.
#14 - The Loves of Sylvia Schnauser
Season 2 - Episode 28 - Aired 3/31/1963
The precinct uses Sylvia Schnauser as a decoy to rid the town of ""Discovery Publishers"" which is run by a couple of con artists. As part of her cover, Sylvia insinuates that she is writing a book on the secrets of precinct life, and she ends up getting the whole crew in an uproad, afraid of exposure.
#15 - Put It in the Bank
Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/10/1961
As department treasurer, Toody has the bright idea of investing the department's kitty in the stock market, but regrets that decision shortly thereafter.
#16 - Hail to the Chief
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/16/1962
First episode of the new season. The President is coming to New York to speak at the U.N. and two top-drawer officers are needed to drive him from the airport. The talent hunt produces those two intrepids: Toody and Muldoon.Before Toody and Muldoon are allowed to drive the President, they must be checked out by the Secret Service. The President is Muldoon's hero, so he is extremely nervous about the assignment, but says that he will be all right as long as the President is not mentioned by name. In the car, the Secret Service agent wonders why Muldoon doesn't want to talk about the President; gets suspicious; and with all the talk, Muldoon gets carsick. The agent's superiors don't believe him. Muldoon gets tranquilizers from a doctor but they only cause him to fall asleep at the wheel. Then he gets anti-depressants which cause him to burst out laughing at the wrong times. The program ends with the President seen arriving in New York City (via newsfilm) and with Toody and Muldoon watchi
#17 - Toody and Muldoon Crack Down
Season 1 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/21/1962
After the chief inspector finds Toody and Muldoon's sector what he deems less than desirable, he insists that Capt. Block see to it that things change within 24 hours or ELSE.
#18 - Benny the Bookie's Last Chance
Season 2 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/13/1963
Toody and Muldoon help set up ex-con Benny in a candy store business, but he doesn't waste time getting involved in the shadier side of life which gets him into hot water once again.
#19 - The White Elephant
Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/6/1963
A group of crooks move to town right next door to the bank with full intention of robbing it; however, every attempt to break the adjacent wall down is interrupted by Toody and Muldoon who are just trying to help them make a go of their restaurant business. In the end, the restaurant goes so well that the owner and his pals decide that being an upstanding citizen isn't that bad after all.
#20 - Toody's Paradise
Season 1 - Episode 19 - Aired 1/28/1962
Toody goes undercover with a female police officer and a boy to catch a purse snatcher, and when Lucille gets wind of this new assignment, she thinks that her husband has another life elsewhere.
#21 - Get Well, Officer Schnauser
Season 1 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/17/1961
With bank robber ""No Face"" on the loose, Muldoon and Toody are on the look-out. Through a series of unbelievable events, Muldoon robs the neighborhood bank without realizing it, eventually bestowing the loot onto Schnauser who's recuperating in the hospital.
#22 - Who's for Swordfish?
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/17/1961
Toody and Muldoon go through much trouble to go fishing for swordfish on a fellow officer's brother-in-law's cruiser.
#23 - The Sacrifice
Season 1 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/7/1962
With Toody's TV out of commission and with the urging of his wife, he reads a book entitled ""The Sacrifice"" which inspires him to encourage Muldoon to better himself. However, this backfires, causing Muldoon to doubt his present job capabilities.
#24 - The Taming of Lucille
Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/3/1961
With Rose's example of an ultra submissive wife, Gunther is frustrated with his wife's strong personality, but once Lucille becomes docile as a result of watching Shakespeare, he decides that he's not so sure he likes having a doormat for a spouse.
#25 - Thirty Days Notice
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/19/1961
Disgusted by the conditions of their apartment, Toody gives his landlord Mr. Corfu 30 days notice. Mr. Corfu is absolutely thrilled with this decision and promptly seeks to find another family to move in. Meanwhile Toody and Lucille have trouble finding suitable housing as a replacement, so Toody makes plans to sublet an apartment of Al Cooper who is very possibly going to be spending 3-5 years in prison anyway. In the end, Mr. Cooper gets vindicated, the family that takes over the Toody apartment moves out because of the awful living conditions, the Toodys move back in, and everything is back to normal.