The WORST episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?

Every episode of Car 54, Where Are You? ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Car 54, Where Are You?!

Car 54, Where Are You? features the misadventures of two of New York's finest in the mythical 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Gunther Toody, a short, stocky and dim-witted henpecked husband, is partnered with Francis Muldoon, a tall, lanky and smart bachelor.

Last Updated: 6/18/2025Network: NBCStatus: Ended
Joan Crawford Didn't Say No
star
5.67
6 votes

#1 - Joan Crawford Didn't Say No

Season 2 - Episode 26 - Aired 3/17/1963

With her charming ways, Mrs. Bronson practices a marriage brokerage fraudulently promising her clients marriage with movie stars.

Directors: Stanley Prager
Writer: Gary Belkin
The Curse of the Snitkins
star
6.00
6 votes

#2 - The Curse of the Snitkins

Season 2 - Episode 30 - Aired 4/14/1963

After Muldoon and Toody meet shy officer Snitkin, they convince him to join their precinct, not realizing that Snitkins is a jinx where ever he's gone.

Directors: Stanley Prager
That's Show Business
star
6.00
6 votes

#3 - That's Show Business

Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/4/1962

The 53rd precinct invests money into a big-time play, not realizing that it's actually a play about a corrupt police department.

Directors: Nat Hiken
Writer: Gary Belkin
Christmas at the 53rd
star
6.11
9 votes

#4 - Christmas at the 53rd

Season 1 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/24/1961

The 53rd Precinct puts on a special Christmas program for friends and family, featuring mostly songs depicting life at the 53rd Precinct rather than Christmas Carols.

Directors: Al De Caprio
The Presidential Itch
star
6.20
5 votes

#5 - The Presidential Itch

Season 2 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/20/1963

Toody and Muldoon run against each other for president of the Brotherhood Club.

Directors: Stanley Prager
What Happened to Thursday?
star
6.44
9 votes

#6 - What Happened to Thursday?

Season 1 - Episode 22 - Aired 2/18/1962

Every Thursday the Schnausers have a fight, so the next Thursday, Toody and Muldoon decide to convince Leo that it's really Friday, rather than Thursday. In the process, they confuse almost everyone on the police force to wonder what day it really is.

Je t'adore Muldoon
star
6.50
8 votes

#7 - Je t'adore Muldoon

Season 2 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/30/1962

When the guys try to build up Muldoon's confidence enough to invite Capt. Block's niece to the Mardi Gras, Muldoon becomes an egomaniac for a day.

Directors: Stanley Prager
Writer: Ben Joelson
Love Finds Muldoon
star
6.53
15 votes

#8 - Love Finds Muldoon

Season 1 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/5/1961

After running into an old school chum who never married, Lucille tries to match her up with Muldoon.

Directors: Nat Hiken
Writer: Nat Hiken
Paint Job
star
6.56
16 votes

#9 - Paint Job

Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/29/1961

The precinct tries to uncover a group of car thieves who specialize in repainting their loot and reselling.

Directors: Nat Hiken
Stop Thief
star
6.60
5 votes

#10 - Stop Thief

Season 2 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/16/1962

After overhearing Capt. Block rehearsing a play, Toody and Muldoon get the mistaken impression that the Captain is a kleptomaniac.

Writer: Tony Webster
Here Comes Charlie
star
6.63
8 votes

#11 - Here Comes Charlie

Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired 2/24/1963

The precinct works hard to both rehabilitate and employ alcoholic Charlie.

Directors: Stanley Prager
Puncher and Judy
star
6.67
6 votes

#12 - Puncher and Judy

Season 2 - Episode 29 - Aired 4/7/1963

Judy thinks that her boyfriend Antoinne (a hair dresser), ought to quit boxing during his spare time so she asks Toody and Muldoon to intervene. They get Sugar Ray Robinson to disguise himself as an old man, to aid them in getting Antoinne to retire from the ring, but as it turns out, since Antoinne uses boxing as an emotional outlet he becomes anything but nice, insulting his clients at the beauty parlor. Toody and Muldoon admit to Antoinne their deceit in the matter, and Antoinne returns to the ring and his former pleasant self.

Directors: Stanley Prager
Writer: Nat Hiken
The Loves of Sylvia Schnauser
star
6.67
6 votes

#13 - The Loves of Sylvia Schnauser

Season 2 - Episode 28 - Aired 3/31/1963

The precinct uses Sylvia Schnauser as a decoy to rid the town of ""Discovery Publishers"" which is run by a couple of con artists. As part of her cover, Sylvia insinuates that she is writing a book on the secrets of precinct life, and she ends up getting the whole crew in an uproad, afraid of exposure.

Directors: Stanley Prager
Catch Me on the Paar Show
star
6.67
9 votes

#14 - Catch Me on the Paar Show

Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/26/1961

After Toody and Muldoon give Hugh Downs a ticket for speeding, Toody takes the opportunity to introduce Hugh to Officer Fleischer, a comedian, hoping that his buddy will be discovered for his talent.

Directors: Nat Hiken
Put It in the Bank
star
6.78
9 votes

#15 - Put It in the Bank

Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/10/1961

As department treasurer, Toody has the bright idea of investing the department's kitty in the stock market, but regrets that decision shortly thereafter.

Directors: Al De Caprio
Benny the Bookie's Last Chance
star
6.86
7 votes

#16 - Benny the Bookie's Last Chance

Season 2 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/13/1963

Toody and Muldoon help set up ex-con Benny in a candy store business, but he doesn't waste time getting involved in the shadier side of life which gets him into hot water once again.

Directors: Stanley Prager
The White Elephant
star
6.86
7 votes

#17 - The White Elephant

Season 2 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/6/1963

A group of crooks move to town right next door to the bank with full intention of robbing it; however, every attempt to break the adjacent wall down is interrupted by Toody and Muldoon who are just trying to help them make a go of their restaurant business. In the end, the restaurant goes so well that the owner and his pals decide that being an upstanding citizen isn't that bad after all.

Directors: Stanley Prager
Toody's Paradise
star
6.89
9 votes

#18 - Toody's Paradise

Season 1 - Episode 19 - Aired 1/28/1962

Toody goes undercover with a female police officer and a boy to catch a purse snatcher, and when Lucille gets wind of this new assignment, she thinks that her husband has another life elsewhere.

Directors: Al De Caprio
Thirty Days Notice
star
6.90
10 votes

#19 - Thirty Days Notice

Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/19/1961

Disgusted by the conditions of their apartment, Toody gives his landlord Mr. Corfu 30 days notice. Mr. Corfu is absolutely thrilled with this decision and promptly seeks to find another family to move in. Meanwhile Toody and Lucille have trouble finding suitable housing as a replacement, so Toody makes plans to sublet an apartment of Al Cooper who is very possibly going to be spending 3-5 years in prison anyway. In the end, Mr. Cooper gets vindicated, the family that takes over the Toody apartment moves out because of the awful living conditions, the Toodys move back in, and everything is back to normal.

Directors: Nat Hiken
Gypsy Curse
star
6.91
11 votes

#20 - Gypsy Curse

Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/12/1961

When Toody goes undercover to expose a thieving gypsy, she puts a curse of hives and martial troubles on him in return. Toody then begins to experience these supposed problems, and eventually he, Lucille, and Muldoon seek to counteract the hex to bring life back to normal for all involved.

Directors: Nat Hiken
Toody and Muldoon Crack Down
star
6.92
13 votes

#21 - Toody and Muldoon Crack Down

Season 1 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/21/1962

After the chief inspector finds Toody and Muldoon's sector what he deems less than desirable, he insists that Capt. Block see to it that things change within 24 hours or ELSE.

Who's for Swordfish?
star
6.93
70 votes

#22 - Who's for Swordfish?

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/17/1961

Toody and Muldoon go through much trouble to go fishing for swordfish on a fellow officer's brother-in-law's cruiser.

Directors: Al De Caprio
Lucille is 40
star
7.00
4 votes

#23 - Lucille is 40

Season 2 - Episode 27 - Aired 3/24/1963

To cheer Lucille because of her 40th birthday, Toody decides that a new wig would be just the thing; however, in the process of getting just the right wig for his wife, Sylvia stirs things up causing Lucille to think that her hubby is being unfaithful.

See You at the Bar Mitzvah
star
7.00
9 votes

#24 - See You at the Bar Mitzvah

Season 2 - Episode 24 - Aired 3/3/1963

As a boys' coach, both Muldoon and Toody promise Joel that he will have guests at his Bar Mitzvah. The problem is that Joel's dad is a notoriously cruel landlord, and getting folks to come is not as easy as they'd thought.

Directors: Stanley Prager
Writer: Max Wilk
I Hate Captain Block
star
7.00
5 votes

#25 - I Hate Captain Block

Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/18/1962

While bird sitting for Capt. Block's parrot, Toody inadvertently teaches it to say ""I hate Capt. Block.""