The BEST episodes written by Nat Hiken
#1 - Bilko and the Beast
The Phil Silvers Show - Season 1 - Episode 28
When a new drill sergeant known as "The Beast" takes over at Fort Baxter Bilko and the platoon come up with a scheme to get rid of him
#2 - Miss America
The Phil Silvers Show - Season 1 - Episode 24
When Bilko asks for pictures of the platoons girlfriends Pvt Honnagar shows them a photo of a beautiful girl taken years ago. they think it is his girl but they have a surprise in store
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#3 - Boom, Boom, Boom
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 17
Jan Murray, playing himself, is asked to judge a barbershop quartet contest among city employees. The Whipoorwills from the 53rd Precinct practice their introduction "boom, boom, boom" everywhere they go”and everywhere they go, Jan Murray goes, until he is practically out of his mind from hearing "boom, boom, boom."
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#4 - The Big Scandal
The Phil Silvers Show - Season 2 - Episode 32
Bilko tries to hypnotize Ritzik, but it's Doberman who falls under the influence and he tells the Colonel's wife that he loves her
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#5 - A Man is Not an Ox
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 2 - Episode 3
When Toody and Muldoon become ill at the same time, their doctor becomes intrigued because they have become similar in many respects, much as a pair of oxen after being yoked together over time.
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#6 - Toody and Muldoon Meet the Russians
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 2 - Episode 19
Muldoon and Toody are assigned to help guard a visiting Russian official who is under the impression that the police force is a prime example of true American life.
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#7 - New Recruits
The Phil Silvers Show - Season 1 - Episode 1
During a poker game the other sergeants cheat and clean Bilko out of his bankroll so he has to look around for some more money. Just when it looks like he will miss out a new squad of rookies arrive for basic training. With a new source of cash the platoon think he can get back into the game but Bilko's conscience will not let him.
#8 - Muldoon's Star
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 6
With Theresa Tangere's popularily out of control, the Muldoon's keep her temporarily at their home, out of the public eye. Meanwhile, shy Francis is enamored with the blonde bombshell.
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#9 - Something Nice for Sol
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 2
The 53rd Precinct decides to buy a surprise gift for Sgt. Abrams for 25 years of service. First they decide to buy an identification bracelet, then a dressing gown (robe), and finally a specially made pair of orthopedic shoes. Problems arise because these shoes cannot be made without Mr. Webster measuring Sol's feet to produce them.
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#10 - Change Your Partners
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 4
Since Toody and Muldoon have been successful partners for nine years, the captain is asked to find out how this could possibly be. Both Toody and Muldoon are questioned so much that they begin to wonder themselves and arguing ensues.
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#11 - I Won't Go
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 5
Mrs. Bronson manages to evade eviction from her apartment by charming everyone who tries to give her notice.
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#12 - Today I Am a Man
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 24
Sick of his goody-two-shoes reputation, Muldoon is determined to change what people think of him and become a man about town.
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#13 - The Auction
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 28
Leo is in charge of deciding on a gift for the captain's 25th wedding anniversary, and insists upon getting a cheese knife. But when Toody and Muldoon have to deliver paperwork to the captain at his home, they find that their boss collects antiques. He shows them an outlandish chair, and tells them how he wishes that he had the other half of this one and only pair. Shortly thereafter, Toody finds a chair just like it at an auction house which he plans on getting for the Captain at all costs.
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#14 - Bilko's Merry Widow
The Phil Silvers Show - Season 3 - Episode 1
Bilko borrows the Platoon Welfare Fund to bet on a horse that loses. When he reads about a $500 bonus to anyone who can stage a professional musical in Roseville Bilko decides to take on the challenge.
#15 - How High is Up?
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 20
When Muldoon discovers that he's grown an inch, one inch above company rules, he goes into a panic.
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#16 - Gypsy Curse
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 9
When Toody goes undercover to expose a thieving gypsy, she puts a curse of hives and martial troubles on him in return. Toody then begins to experience these supposed problems, and eventually he, Lucille, and Muldoon seek to counteract the hex to bring life back to normal for all involved.
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#17 - Thirty Days Notice
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 10
Disgusted by the conditions of their apartment, Toody gives his landlord Mr. Corfu 30 days notice. Mr. Corfu is absolutely thrilled with this decision and promptly seeks to find another family to move in. Meanwhile Toody and Lucille have trouble finding suitable housing as a replacement, so Toody makes plans to sublet an apartment of Al Cooper who is very possibly going to be spending 3-5 years in prison anyway. In the end, Mr. Cooper gets vindicated, the family that takes over the Toody apartment moves out because of the awful living conditions, the Toodys move back in, and everything is back to normal.
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#18 - The Taming of Lucille
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 12
With Rose's example of an ultra submissive wife, Gunther is frustrated with his wife's strong personality, but once Lucille becomes docile as a result of watching Shakespeare, he decides that he's not so sure he likes having a doormat for a spouse.
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#19 - The Sacrifice
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 16
With Toody's TV out of commission and with the urging of his wife, he reads a book entitled ""The Sacrifice"" which inspires him to encourage Muldoon to better himself. However, this backfires, causing Muldoon to doubt his present job capabilities.
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#20 - Who's for Swordfish?
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 1
Toody and Muldoon go through much trouble to go fishing for swordfish on a fellow officer's brother-in-law's cruiser.
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#21 - Get Well, Officer Schnauser
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 14
With bank robber ""No Face"" on the loose, Muldoon and Toody are on the look-out. Through a series of unbelievable events, Muldoon robs the neighborhood bank without realizing it, eventually bestowing the loot onto Schnauser who's recuperating in the hospital.
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#22 - Toody's Paradise
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 19
Toody goes undercover with a female police officer and a boy to catch a purse snatcher, and when Lucille gets wind of this new assignment, she thinks that her husband has another life elsewhere.
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#23 - Home Sweet Sing Sing
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 3
Toody and his wife taken in an ex-con, hoping to rehabilitate him.
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#24 - The White Elephant
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 2 - Episode 16
A group of crooks move to town right next door to the bank with full intention of robbing it; however, every attempt to break the adjacent wall down is interrupted by Toody and Muldoon who are just trying to help them make a go of their restaurant business. In the end, the restaurant goes so well that the owner and his pals decide that being an upstanding citizen isn't that bad after all.
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#25 - Toody and Muldoon Crack Down
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 18
After the chief inspector finds Toody and Muldoon's sector what he deems less than desirable, he insists that Capt. Block see to it that things change within 24 hours or ELSE.
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#26 - Put It in the Bank
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 13
As department treasurer, Toody has the bright idea of investing the department's kitty in the stock market, but regrets that decision shortly thereafter.
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#27 - The Loves of Sylvia Schnauser
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 2 - Episode 28
The precinct uses Sylvia Schnauser as a decoy to rid the town of ""Discovery Publishers"" which is run by a couple of con artists. As part of her cover, Sylvia insinuates that she is writing a book on the secrets of precinct life, and she ends up getting the whole crew in an uproad, afraid of exposure.
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#28 - Puncher and Judy
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 2 - Episode 29
Judy thinks that her boyfriend Antoinne (a hair dresser), ought to quit boxing during his spare time so she asks Toody and Muldoon to intervene. They get Sugar Ray Robinson to disguise himself as an old man, to aid them in getting Antoinne to retire from the ring, but as it turns out, since Antoinne uses boxing as an emotional outlet he becomes anything but nice, insulting his clients at the beauty parlor. Toody and Muldoon admit to Antoinne their deceit in the matter, and Antoinne returns to the ring and his former pleasant self.
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#29 - Here Comes Charlie
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 2 - Episode 23
The precinct works hard to both rehabilitate and employ alcoholic Charlie.
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#30 - Catch Me on the Paar Show
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 11
After Toody and Muldoon give Hugh Downs a ticket for speeding, Toody takes the opportunity to introduce Hugh to Officer Fleischer, a comedian, hoping that his buddy will be discovered for his talent.
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#31 - Paint Job
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 7
The precinct tries to uncover a group of car thieves who specialize in repainting their loot and reselling.
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#32 - Love Finds Muldoon
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 8
After running into an old school chum who never married, Lucille tries to match her up with Muldoon.
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#33 - The Curse of the Snitkins
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 2 - Episode 30
After Muldoon and Toody meet shy officer Snitkin, they convince him to join their precinct, not realizing that Snitkins is a jinx where ever he's gone.
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#34 - Christmas at the 53rd
Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1 - Episode 15
The 53rd Precinct puts on a special Christmas program for friends and family, featuring mostly songs depicting life at the 53rd Precinct rather than Christmas Carols.
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