The BEST episodes of Burnistoun season 3

Every episode of Burnistoun season 3, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of Burnistoun season 3!

Welcome to Sunny Burnistoun! Robert Florence and Iain Connell write and perform a sketch show set in a strangely familiar Scottish town. Burnistoun has its own newspaper, its own radio station and even its own ice-cream van. Drop in and find out how to get a tattoo altered, what makes a good front-page headline, and why football songs are not a sexy choice for singers in girl groups.

Last Updated: 4/25/2024Network: BBC TwoStatus: Ended
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Episode 6
star
8.17
6 votes

#1 - Episode 6

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 9/17/2012

In the fictional town of Burnistoun, the legend of King Arthur springs to life when a Burnistoun man pulls the magic sword Excalibur out of the pavement. Meanwhile two punters enjoying a lock-in at the pub find their enjoyment eerily curtailed by the arrival of the pub's ghost, the Wee Baldy Man.

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Episode 4
star
7.78
9 votes

#2 - Episode 4

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 9/3/2012

A local priest is revealed to have a direct line to God, but simply uses it to have daft banter with the Almighty. A novel interactive mobile phone app gets tested on the streets of Burnistoun with unintended consequences for its proprietor, while eating a pizza proves problematic for a Burnistoun man out on a date.

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Episode 2
star
7.17
6 votes

#3 - Episode 2

Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 8/20/2012

The local cake shop suffers a decline in sales when a rogue cake decorator is let loose, two punters are unimpressed with the clientele in their local café and the job centre has a new line in compulsory niceness. All is not well in Burnistoun's leafy suburbs when a resident struggles to put out the correct colour of wheelie bin, while for another hapless householder the task of signing for a parcel has unexpected complications. TV historian Robert Clach tells us about Burnistoun's famous and very violent clan chief and the unveiling of a statue to Burnistoun's Greatest Man unexpectedly looks to the future, not the past. Also, two characters from the previous series make welcome returns - Burnistoun's failed entrepreneur Alex Ciderson presents a new action game for kids, while local furniture retailer James Jumpstyle demonstrates a disastrous line in home deliveries.

Directors: Iain Davidson
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Episode 3
star
7.00
5 votes

#4 - Episode 3

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 8/27/2012

Misguided entrepreneur Alex Ciderson invents a new way of packaging beer, 'quality polis' McGregor and Toshan gatecrash a party, while pals Peter and Scott find they have a different approach to shaving a certain part of their anatomy. The Kilty Club's Herry McLoudery massacres another Scots song, and in another of his home videos, Jolly Boy John displays some unusual ways with pakora.

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Episode 5
star
6.80
5 votes

#5 - Episode 5

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 9/10/2012

The 'quality polis' team of McGregor and Toshan attend a football match and cause the very riot they were there to prevent. Pals Peter and Scott have a disagreement over what is, and is not, acceptable footwear for the pub, and Jolly Boy John has fun with some pet turtles in his latest home video.

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Episode 1
star
6.43
7 votes

#6 - Episode 1

Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 8/13/2012

In episode one, we pop into a trendy coffee shop that has an original way of serving a cappuccino, the proprietor of a business specialising in wooden pallets gives us his idea of a sophisticated sales pitch in a specially made TV ad, and a high street boutique delivers questionable sartorial advice to a confused punter. One of Burnistoun's youngest inhabitants escapes punishment for being late for school thanks to an inventive note from his dad, while a lecturer from Burnistoun University instructs us in the proper snide looks for different occasions. And while one Burnistoun punter walks round the world, another doesn't even make it across town because of his argumentative satnav. Returning characters include 'quality polis' McGregor and Toshan who misuse a breathalyser, Jolly Boy John with another YouTube-style clip from his bedroom, and pals Peter and Scott fighting over Twitter.

Directors: Iain Davidson
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