The BEST Episodes of Big Train

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Jun 7, 2020

Network: BBC Two

Big Train was a surreal British television comedy sketch show created by Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, writers of the successful sitcom Father Ted. Following in the tradition of Monty Python, the comedy of Big Train is based on the subversion of ordinary situations by the surreal or macabre. Its stars included Kevin Eldon, Mark Heap, and Simon Pegg in both series one and two, with Julia Davis, and Amelia Bullmore in the first series, and Rebecca Front, Tracy-Ann Oberman and Catherine Tate in the second series.

Episode 5

#1 - Episode 5

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired Feb 4, 2002

Budding writer Adolf Hitler takes his first book to the publisher.

star 8.82
61 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 2

#2 - Episode 2

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired Jan 14, 2002

A tale of love involving a potato and the first television screening of a classic.

star 8.76
67 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 4

#3 - Episode 4

Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired Nov 30, 1998

The difficulties of being a police sketch artist are uncovered and there is an alternative interpretation of the famous film 'Matter of Life'. Adolf Hitler is in an unusually jovial frame of mind and the World Stare-Out Championships continue with Nanak versus Duran.

star 8.47
102 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Arthur Mathews, Graham Linehan
Episode 3

#4 - Episode 3

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired Jan 21, 2002

Dracula and the Werewolf discuss co-worker the Mummy and Beefeaters riot on the streets.

star 8.37
67 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 4

#5 - Episode 4

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired Jan 28, 2002

A babysitter gets more than she bargained for when she looks after Dame Margot Fontaine.

star 8.33
65 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 6

#6 - Episode 6

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired Feb 11, 2002

The merits of programmes are discussed by a panel of late-night pundits.

star 8.33
62 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 1

#7 - Episode 1

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired Jan 7, 2002

Flamenco dancers are used to defuse car bombs and a tortoise speaks fluent French.

star 7.97
99 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 6

#8 - Episode 6

Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired Dec 14, 1998

The World Stare-Out Championships reach a thrilling climax as Kampagnola takes on Spatsky. Florence Nightingale is shown in a whole new light, a group of office workers react to the appointment of their new boss and Chairman Mao is found in another unusual setting.

star 7.69
97 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Arthur Mathews, Graham Linehan
Episode 2

#9 - Episode 2

Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired Nov 16, 1998

Unwilling policeman; something's spooked the jockeys; My Name is Paul, I'm 52-and-a-half-years-old; (costume) cat and mouse fight; The Monk and the statued nipple; wanking in the office; jockeys in the will being preyed-upon by The Artist Formerly Known as Prince; "I've turned into a ventriloquist's dummy"; Stare-Out Stare-Break; Small Train, Big Hand, Size-Perception Issues; horse suicide; dating agency - going for the opposite to normal type of date; postman-hitman; hypnotists; Stare-Out Richard Gere; uh-huh-huh, hu-huh, uh-uh-uh-huh-huh.

star 7.58
132 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Adam Buxton, Amelia Bullmore, Arthur Mathews, Graham Linehan, Joe Cornish, Julia Davis, Kevin Eldon, Mark Heap, Peter Baynham, Simon Pegg
Episode 3

#10 - Episode 3

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired Nov 23, 1998

Missing Persons Appeal on a fairground ride; Dr. Jekyll and Very Tart; 43rd World Stare-Out Championships; Misters; Ming the Domesticated; Nuns in Captivity; fake psychiatrist; Professor BBQ Pictures; Ming the Unwell; permanent squirrel costume; The Monks and The Johnny; Shakespeare Lookalikes; fake magician; teaching son to ride his bike with varying successes; the hymnast.

star 7.52
132 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Amelia Bullmore, Arthur Mathews, Graham Linehan, Julia Davis, Kevin Eldon, Mark Heap, Simon Pegg
Episode 5

#11 - Episode 5

Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired Dec 7, 1998

A visit from Darryl Hall and John Oates to a deprived council estate causes as much anger as optimism. A daredevil embarks on some crazy antics and Chairman Mao is in 'Top of the Pops' mode. The World Stare-Out Championships features Wallace versus Popstopolous.

star 7.40
101 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Arthur Mathews, Graham Linehan
Episode 1

#12 - Episode 1

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired Nov 9, 1998

Woman asks for directions in France in English; the boss who continually escapes his employees chasing-up of owed bonuses; the Inquisition; the 43rd stare-out world championships, disturbed by a streaker; Jesus vs. Satan (office bullying); radio dj using child slave labour for puns; The Bee Gees gunfight with Chaka Khan; surgeon taking a call at an inappropriate moment; childlike adults dressed for the hunt but wanting to be firemen.

star 7.27
198 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Amelia Bullmore, Andy Riley, Arthur Mathews, David Scott (II), Graham Linehan, Julia Davis, Kevin Cecil, Kevin Eldon, Mark Heap, Peter Baynham, Simon Pegg