The BEST Episodes of Big Train

Every episode ever - ranked by fan votes!

Last Updated: Oct 27, 2019

Network: BBC Two

Big Train was a surreal British television comedy sketch show created by Arthur Mathews and Graham Linehan, writers of the successful sitcom Father Ted. Following in the tradition of Monty Python, the comedy of Big Train is based on the subversion of ordinary situations by the surreal or macabre. Its stars included Kevin Eldon, Mark Heap, and Simon Pegg in both series one and two, with Julia Davis, and Amelia Bullmore in the first series, and Rebecca Front, Tracy-Ann Oberman and Catherine Tate in the second series.

Episode 2

#1 - Episode 2

Season 2 - Episode 2

A tale of love involving a potato and the first television screening of a classic.

star 8.07
15 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 5

#2 - Episode 5

Season 2 - Episode 5

Budding writer Adolf Hitler takes his first book to the publisher.

star 8.00
9 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 3

#3 - Episode 3

Season 2 - Episode 3

Dracula and the Werewolf discuss co-worker the Mummy and Beefeaters riot on the streets.

star 7.94
16 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 2

#4 - Episode 2

Season 1 - Episode 2

Unwilling policeman; something's spooked the jockeys; My Name is Paul, I'm 52-and-a-half-years-old; (costume) cat and mouse fight; The Monk and the statued nipple; wanking in the office; jockeys in the will being preyed-upon by The Artist Formerly Known as Prince; "I've turned into a ventriloquist's dummy"; Stare-Out Stare-Break; Small Train, Big Hand, Size-Perception Issues; horse suicide; dating agency - going for the opposite to normal type of date; postman-hitman; hypnotists; Stare-Out Richard Gere; uh-huh-huh, hu-huh, uh-uh-uh-huh-huh.

star 7.88
26 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Amelia Bullmore, Mark Heap, Kevin Eldon, Simon Pegg, Julia Davis, Graham Linehan, Joe Cornish, Adam Buxton, Peter Baynham, Arthur Mathews
Episode 1

#5 - Episode 1

Season 2 - Episode 1

Flamenco dancers are used to defuse car bombs and a tortoise speaks fluent French.

star 7.86
22 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 4

#6 - Episode 4

Season 2 - Episode 4

A babysitter gets more than she bargained for when she looks after Dame Margot Fontaine.

star 7.77
13 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 4

#7 - Episode 4

Season 1 - Episode 4

The difficulties of being a police sketch artist are uncovered and there is an alternative interpretation of the famous film 'Matter of Life'. Adolf Hitler is in an unusually jovial frame of mind and the World Stare-Out Championships continue with Nanak versus Duran.

star 7.77
21 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews
Episode 5

#8 - Episode 5

Season 1 - Episode 5

A visit from Darryl Hall and John Oates to a deprived council estate causes as much anger as optimism. A daredevil embarks on some crazy antics and Chairman Mao is in 'Top of the Pops' mode. The World Stare-Out Championships features Wallace versus Popstopolous.

star 7.72
22 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews
Episode 6

#9 - Episode 6

Season 1 - Episode 6

The World Stare-Out Championships reach a thrilling climax as Kampagnola takes on Spatsky. Florence Nightingale is shown in a whole new light, a group of office workers react to the appointment of their new boss and Chairman Mao is found in another unusual setting.

star 7.62
18 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews
Episode 6

#10 - Episode 6

Season 2 - Episode 6

The merits of programmes are discussed by a panel of late-night pundits.

star 7.60
10 votes
Writers: Arthur Mathews
Episode 3

#11 - Episode 3

Season 1 - Episode 3

Missing Persons Appeal on a fairground ride; Dr. Jekyll and Very Tart; 43rd World Stare-Out Championships; Misters; Ming the Domesticated; Nuns in Captivity; fake psychiatrist; Professor BBQ Pictures; Ming the Unwell; permanent squirrel costume; The Monks and The Johnny; Shakespeare Lookalikes; fake magician; teaching son to ride his bike with varying successes; the hymnast.

star 7.58
26 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Graham Linehan, Arthur Mathews, Kevin Eldon, Julia Davis, Mark Heap, Amelia Bullmore, Simon Pegg
Episode 1

#12 - Episode 1

Season 1 - Episode 1

Woman asks for directions in France in English; the boss who continually escapes his employees chasing-up of owed bonuses; the Inquisition; the 43rd stare-out world championships, disturbed by a streaker; Jesus vs. Satan (office bullying); radio dj using child slave labour for puns; The Bee Gees gunfight with Chaka Khan; surgeon taking a call at an inappropriate moment; childlike adults dressed for the hunt but wanting to be firemen.

star 7.53
40 votes
Directors: Graham Linehan
Writers: Julia Davis, Mark Heap, Kevin Eldon, David Scott (II), Kevin Cecil, Andy Riley, Peter Baynham, Arthur Mathews, Graham Linehan, Simon Pegg, Amelia Bullmore