The BEST episodes written by Arthur Mathews
#1 - Episode 6
The Catherine Tate Show - Season 3 - Episode 6
In the last episode in the series, Lauren gets hitched, Derek gets a massage, Georgie does another fund raiser, this time for dwarfs, Janice and Ray talk about a sandwich with no bread and Nan's sister comes over from Spain and Essex couple Paul and Sam return with more laughs.
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#3 - Are You Right There Father Ted?
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 1
A perfect square of dirt on the window and an ill-conceived and unfortunately-timed impression lead to rumours that Ted is a bit of a racist.
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#4 - Kicking Bishop Brennan Up the Arse
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 6
After losing a bet to Dick Byrne, Ted has to kick Bishop Brennan up the arse, just when the Bishop's about to visit Craggy Island to see an image that miraculously appeared on Ted's skirting board...
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#6 - New Jack City
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 9
Jack is rushed to St. Clabbert's Old Priests Home when his hands become worryingly hairy. And his replacement is even more of a nightmare than the great man himself...
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#7 - Tentacles of Doom
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 3
Three bishops are on their way to Craggy Island to upgrade the Holy Stone of Clonrickert to a Class II relic, and Ted is determined that Dougal and Jack be on their best behaviour. As if...
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#8 - The Plague
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 6
Father Dougal is very excited about his new pet rabbit, Sampras. Meanwhile, rabbit-phobic Bishop Brennan is due to arrive to investigate a case of suspected nude sleepwalking by Father Jack.
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#9 - Speed 3
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 3
When Ted gets Pat Mustard, Craggy Island's randy milkman, sacked, Dougal takes over the round. But Pat plants a bomb on the milk float to get his revenge. Can Ted save Dougal?
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#10 - The Mainland
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 4
A trip to the mainland always leads to trouble, and Ted is deeply nervous at the prospect. But what will go wrong this time?
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#11 - Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest
Father Ted - Season 1 - Episode 6
Sister Mulligan's visit to Craggy Island ends dramatically when Father Jack drinks a bottle of polish and dies. Ted and Dougal's grief's tempered by the fact that he's left them half a million pounds.
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#12 - Going to America
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 8
Ted accepts a job offer in America, with his very own parish in Beverly Hills. But with his ambition about to be realised, Ted's only problem is how to tell the others.
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#13 - Episode 4
Big Train - Season 1 - Episode 4
The difficulties of being a police sketch artist are uncovered and there is an alternative interpretation of the famous film 'Matter of Life'. Adolf Hitler is in an unusually jovial frame of mind and the World Stare-Out Championships continue with Nanak versus Duran.
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#14 - A Song for Europe
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 5
Ted and Dougal decide to enter the 1996 Eurosong Contest. With inspired lyrics, a jaunty tune and the right attitude, they stand a good chance. Don't they?
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#16 - Flight into Terror
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 10
Flying back from a visit to a particularly holy shrine, Ted, Jack and Dougal find themselves in mortal danger when Dougal visits the cockpit and does something really, really stupid.
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#18 - Night of the Nearly Dead
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 7
Singing sensation Eoin McLove, at Number One for 27 weeks with My Lovely Mayo Mammy, secretly visits Mrs Doyle for tea after she wins a poetry competition.
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#19 - Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 8
Easter is fast approaching, so Ted decides to get on with the important business of sacrificing something for Lent... but what should he choose?
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#20 - Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 2
Ted bets the annual heating allowance on Chris the sheep to win the island's annual sheep trials.
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#23 - Escape from Victory
Father Ted - Season 3 - Episode 5
It's the annual All-Priests Over 75s Five-a-Side Football Challenge Match against Rugged Island and Ted realises that Father Dick Byrne will stop at nothing to win.
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#24 - Entertaining Father Stone
Father Ted - Season 1 - Episode 2
Life's always dull on Craggy Island, but it gets even duller when Father Paul Stone visits. Six years he's been coming to holiday with Ted, and the protracted silences have taken their toll...
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#25 - Episode 3
The Catherine Tate Show - Season 1 - Episode 3
Meet the Doncaster Spinners' ageing majorette, the manipulative nan and the enigmatic cop.
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#26 - Hell
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 1
Ted, Dougal and Jack head off on their summer holidays to Father O'Rourke's caravan in Kilkenny. Unfortunately, a run-in with some naked neighbours gets the holy men's holiday off to a sticky start.
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#27 - Episode 6
The Fast Show - Season 2 - Episode 6
BBC introduces Monkfish the chauvinistic cop, Piles Soylent appears on Jazz Club with his band The Jazz Mess, Thats Amazing presenter shows off a magical pen, The Posh Cockneys asks for directions.
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#28 - Think Fast, Father Ted
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 2
There's a leaky roof threatening to collapse on Father Jack, and Ted receives a car from Bishop Brennan for a raffle prize, but as usual, things go horribly wrong.
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#29 - And God Created Woman
Father Ted - Season 1 - Episode 5
Novelist Polly Clarke, author of the steamy 'Bejewelled with Kisses', comes to stay on the island, and Ted thinks she's fallen for him.
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#30 - The Passion of Saint Tibulus
Father Ted - Season 1 - Episode 3
After a night gossiping with Father Hernandez over the longest game of Cluedo in history, Ted and Dougal are bullied into being moral crusaders by Bishop Brennan, with disastrous results.
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#31 - Episode 2
The Fast Show - Season 3 - Episode 2
An actor takes six hours in makeup, Colin Hunt tries to fix the photocopier, Monkfish goes undercover, Johnny Nice Painter has a panic attack, Indecisive Dave talks about the England Squad, Roger Nouveau attends a football match, Competitive Dad watches his sons on stage.
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#32 - Episode 5
The Fast Show - Season 2 - Episode 5
Unlucky Alf finds a girlfriend, Renee and Roy talks about flying, Carl Hooper talks about animal freaks, The Tweed Man buys a pair of trousers.
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#33 - Episode 4
The Fast Show - Season 3 - Episode 4
The Ghoul gives a tip on a football match, The Off-Roaders are living in the wild, Dave Angel The Eco Warrior talks about global warming, Ron Manager talks about baldness, A Rambler asks for directions, Thats Amazing discusses Robots, Arthur Atkinson appears in a seventies sex comedy.
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#34 - Competition Time
Father Ted - Season 1 - Episode 4
It's the All Priests Look-A-Like competition and Ted is determined that this year he will defeat his fellow priests from Rugged Island.
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#36 - Rock-a-Hula Ted
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 7
An aggressive protest singer arrives on the island just as Ted is to judge the Lovely Girls competition. How will Ted deal with this clash of feminism and womanhood?
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#37 - Episode 7
The Fast Show - Season 2 - Episode 7
Professor Denzil Dexter steals a skull from another labratory, Bob Fleming tries out some cough medicine, Indecisive Dave talks about his holidays, Arthur Atkinson swears in front of his audience, Competitive Dad plays Monopoly, Chris the Crafty Cockney looks after a woman's bag.
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#38 - Episode 8
The Fast Show - Season 3 - Episode 8
The Off-Roaders go White Water Rafting, Colin Hunt goes to a restaurant, Ted and Ralph attend Mrs Ted's funeral service, Chanel 9 presents a childrens program, Dave Angel Eco Warrior explores Naturism.
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#39 - Episode 3
The Fast Show - Season 3 - Episode 3
The Squeamish Zoo keeper is feeding the penguins, Chris the Crafty Cockney is talking to a newspaper seller, The Suit You Tailors show a new boy the ropes, The Deaf Stuntman throws himself off a roof, The Off-Roaders go Potholing, Competitive Dad tries weightlifting.
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#40 - Good Luck, Father Ted
Father Ted - Season 1 - Episode 1
Fame beckons for Ted when Terry MacNamee phones up to interview him for 'The Television'. Unfortunately, the filming at the local beauty spot coincides with the arrival of Funland on Craggy Island.
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#41 - Episode 3
The Fast Show - Season 1 - Episode 3
Ron Manager talks about Soccer, The Off-Roaders get stuck, Ralph finds Ted fishing, A Chorus Girl surprises everyone with her singing, Unlucky Alf tries to catch a bus, Tommy Cockles talks about the late comedian Arthur Atkinson, Prof Denzil Dexter builds a time machine, Mime from the Isle of Man by Jack Pott and Tom Bowler.
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#42 - Episode 5
The Fast Show - Season 3 - Episode 5
Chris the Crafty Cockney is feeling depressed, The Deaf Stuntman rides his bike into the docks, Competitive Dad plays Tennis, Chanel 9 has its annual awards, Old Archie talks about religion, A posh man goes to buy a suit from the Suit You Tailors.
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#44 - Episode 6
The Fast Show - Season 3 - Episode 6
Unlucky Alf gets electrocuted, Colin Hunt goes to the pub, Cliff the Crafty Copper books someone who asks for directions, Jazz Club with Witch Doctor Jeremy Queeg, The I'll Get Me Coat man discusses being Middle-Class, Swiss Toni explains his nickname, Competitive Dad talks about his paintings, Old Archie talks about chess, The 13th Duke of Wybourne is alone with his best friend's wife, Arthur Atkinson appears in his first film, Thats Amazing features a mad professor, Ralph has bad news for Ted.
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#45 - Old Grey Whistle Theft
Father Ted - Season 2 - Episode 4
The arrival of a rebellious priest coincides with the theft of the picnic area supervisor's whistle. Is law and order breaking down on Craggy Island?
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#46 - Anger Man
Toast of Tinseltown - Season 1 - Episode 1
After a successful visit to an anger management centre, Toast is a new man and sets about apologising to all the people he's been rude to. However, when he reveals the extent of his wrongdoing to Purchase, the pair come face to face at the Colonial Club.
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#47 - Episode 7
The Fast Show - Season 3 - Episode 7
Patrick Nice talks about his prophecies being fulfilled, The Deaf Stuntman sets himself on fire, Paul makes Swiss Toni a coffee, Billy Bleach talks about mixed races, Chanel 9 presents a cooking program, Old Archie talks about the ballet, Sullivan Rhodes presents the Indie Club, The Suit You Tailors blackmail a customer, Dave Angel The Eco Warrior is sitting at a campsite with his new hippy friends.
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#50 - Episode 4
The Fast Show - Season 2 - Episode 4
Bob Fleming goes badger watching, Billy Bleach works out peoples change, The Alcoholic family sits down for breakfast, Competitive Dad asks for directions.
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