Following a prank that went wrong, Sergeant Thomson takes a brief break from his day off to punish Gary and the boys by putting them on kitchen duty for the Captain's important dinner. Chef works hard to keep them under control while also trying to create a dinner good enough to impress Colonel Fanshaw, the Captain's father. But when an inebriated Thomson returns to wreak havoc in the kitchen, it's left to Gary to ensure that the dinner is a success and the Captain isn't embarrassed in front of 'Colonel Daddy'.
Gary delights Captain Fanshaw by 'saving his life' on a competitive skills exercise. With the enemy being led by his father, Colonel Fanshaw, the Captain is so grateful that while the others are fending off the Colonel's increasingly audacious attacks, he offers Gary a new job that sounds too good to be true - and turns out to be exactly that.
Gary and his team apprehend some strange protestors at a climate control conference.
Gary spends his birthday on guard duty. Charlie starts a rumour about himself.
A problem arises for the fictional town's housing association when a resident complains about a strange presence in his house, a gullible customer at a car-boot sale pays too much for a denim jacket, and a couple who met on a TV dating show seem unable to forget the experience. Meanwhile, two old women's argument over bingo numbers becomes violent, and ice-cream sellers Paul and Walter's efforts to sell their product on the beach in winter ends in tragedy.
Gary takes part in a debate about the Iraq War in University of St Andrews against an anti-war student, organised by the OC's annoying brother.
Gary agrees to help his father by buying a cooker for him and collecting it in the tank whilst on exercise. Despite the show's name, this is the first appearance of the tank (actually an AS-90) which Gary commands.
The fictional Scottish town's toy manufacturer tries to fathom why its latest idea has failed to sell, and the crime-fighting Doberman Man tracks down a boy who teased him at school. Meanwhile, paranoia sweeps the local pub and pole dancing club, and an overpriced pizza causes two friends to have a breakdown.
While transporting a tank back to the barracks, the boys defy orders by stopping off at a service station for a bit of breakfast. Charlie is so worried that Sergeant Thomson will be angry that the boys decide to add to his anxiety by hiding the tank from him. This sparks off a chain of events that sees Gary having to call in all sorts of favours in order to stay one step ahead of Thomson, something that becomes increasingly difficult when Julie gets involved.
The army are looking for soldiers to be part of their new advertising campaign. Sensing a shot at fame and stardom, Gary would rather do it himself but as they're looking for teams he signs Adam, Jacko and Charlie up for the audition as well. Jacko and Adam take dramatic tension a bit literally as they come to blows during their rehearsals, so Gary has to act as peacemaker if he is to stand any chance of landing the audition and becoming the new face of the 'armeh'.Watch Now:Amazon
Cammy, an old adversary of Gary's, is posted to the barracks and old rivalries are soon restored in the form of a brawl. Sergeant Thomson punishes them both but a series of tit for tat exchanges follow. Things quickly get out of hand when army property is defaced and Gary is the one blamed. With the boys unable to provide an alibi and Thomson refusing to believe that Cammy is to blame, Gary finds himself in serious danger of being kicked out of the army forever.
Under threat of barracks closures, Sergeant Thomson is more irritable than usual as he prepares everyone for the visit of MP, Steven Maxwell. The frantic preparations see Thomson injured so Gary steps up to show the MP around. Under strict instructions from Thomson to stick rigidly to the 'boring' agenda, Gary has a better idea and he and Mickey defy the Sergeant to appeal to the MP's appetite for action, but they underestimate just how insatiable it is.
A posting to Germany hasn't quite lived up to the excitement levels of Afghanistan and Iraq and Gary is desperate to get home. But when Charlie announces that he's just got engaged, the final week gets a lot more interesting. Charlie's bride-to-be makes quite an impression, and while Mickey thinks she seems fun, Jacko is less generous with his feedback. Gary's initial misgivings are replaced with his excitement at being asked to be best man, and he starts making preparations for his special day.
Hallowe'en is a big deal on the barracks and the boys are determined to successfully defend their dooking for apples trophy. Gary goes with Julie to see a fortune teller, who gives Gary a spooky and terrifying prediction. All seems fine back at the barracks as Jacko and Charlie train Mickey up for his dooking debut, but Gary starts to panic as the prediction starts to come true. It takes the lure of a massive trophy to get Gary to the Hallowe'en party, but once there he comes face to face with the terrifying conclusion to the prediction.
Sitcom. General Randy Badger arrives from America on official duty. He enlists Gary and the boys, and instigates his own mission - to drink beer, see strippers and find his Scottish ancestors, the McBadgers. Hoo ya.
Doberman Man comes face-to-face with his arch-enemy, Peter and Scott try to avoid seeing the faces of rival fans celebrating at a televised football match, and James Bond meets a female contact in the fictional town. Meanwhile, a vending machine fights back after being kicked, and Carlos Zumba explains why his dance is so popular with women.
Gary swaps the tank for a Green Goddess as the army covers a firefighters' strike. The boys prepare for their first fire, but when it finally comes, it's their people skills that face the ultimate test.
It's been 15 years since Gary's mum passed away and his dad Martin thinks that it's finally time to scatter her ashes. Gary, Martin, Julie and Gary's aunt Margaret all set out to his mum's favourite beauty spot, but find that it's changed a lot since they used to go there. Gary needs to come up with a back-up plan but he's distracted by a series of mysterious phone calls that not only annoy his aunt and Julie, but also manages to offend his dad on the worst day possible.
Episode one includes an impassioned battle with a voice-activated lift, the amazing career trajectory of a single-issue MP and an incredible chain of events set in motion by the tossing of a two-litre bottle of ginger. Elsewhere, all is not what it seems on the streets of Burnistoun. Is that noise really caused by divine intervention? Ronnie Stokes tries on the wrong pair of shoes and ends up in hospital. And can psychic Sammy Strange successfully predict everything that will happen during an interview on Radio Burnistoun?
Gary, Jacko, Charlie and Adam have completed their latest tour of duty in Afghanistan and arrive at the aircraft hangar ready to be taken home, only to be told their flight has already left. Faced with waiting another 12 hours in a hot, cramped hangar, Gary decides to try and bribe his way onto an earlier flight using a pretty uninspiring collection of belongings from the boys. He's been turned down by the RAF as well as most of the squaddies in the hangar until finally he meets Cammy, a squaddie with an impeccable sales pitch and an offer Gary mistakenly thinks is too good to be true.
Cpl Gary McLintoch and his tank crew return from Iraq to tackle their toughest mission yet - a recruitment stall in the local shopping centre. And when the worst recruit ever is signed up, the boys try desperately to pull off the great escape.
The annual fitness test proves too much for Gary. Physical trainer, Corporal Fox, doesn't hold back in telling him how bad a shape he's in so, humiliated and determined to save face with the boys, Gary challenges Fox to a race, with a demotion on the cards if he loses. With the help of Jacko, Charlie and new recruit Mickey, Gary finally faces up to an uncomfortable home truth and makes a confession to his dad and Julie, but will it be in time to help him win the race and keep his job?
Wannabe girl band member Kelly McGlade takes her story to the Burnistoun Herald but ends up hitting more than just headlines.
This week, local entrepreneur Alex Ciderson demonstrates his new invention, a pie scarer. Paul and Walter, the squabbling siblings in the ice cream van, celebrate their dead mother's birthday with rival birthday cakes, and pub singer Ronnie Dreech delivers a literally explosive set. Meanwhile a young man's chat-up routines are continually foiled as he swallows a succession of insects, cheeky 12-year-old boys Marky and Rosso set out to embarrass a family friend, and McGregor and Toshan- Burnistoun's quality police - have a new take on tackling the problem of teenage delinquency. The horrific consequences of consuming a ready meal that's 400 years past its use-by dateare exposed, home time travel kits prove a hit for fun-loving couples, and a young millionaire's encounter with his former schoolteacher proves a revelation.
Sketches include: singing sensation Wee Frank, "What's THIS I See?" extreme theatre experience, the Burnistoun Butcher at The Burnistoun Herald, Scott and Peter's Chinese takeaway, "Town Street" the true-to-life soap opera.
Sketches include: nae rolls!, the trials of a man desperate to avoid a charity worker, Kelly and the Sloppy Seconds play a pub gig, prolific sperm donor, Walter takes over the ice-cream van, pints, The Burnistoun Herald's problematic new motto, Glasgow scout wars, Scott and Peter's big night in.
Paul and Walter have trouble dealing with a customer's order in their ice cream van, Peter and Scott try unusual exercise machines at the gym, and Jolly Boy John stars in another video filmed in his bedroom. Meanwhile, new characters Marky and Rosso create mayhem in the cinema, and police officers McGregor and Toshan unwittingly leave incriminating marks at a crime scene.
The local cake shop suffers a decline in sales when a rogue cake decorator is let loose, two punters are unimpressed with the clientele in their local café and the job centre has a new line in compulsory niceness. All is not well in Burnistoun's leafy suburbs when a resident struggles to put out the correct colour of wheelie bin, while for another hapless householder the task of signing for a parcel has unexpected complications. TV historian Robert Clach tells us about Burnistoun's famous and very violent clan chief and the unveiling of a statue to Burnistoun's Greatest Man unexpectedly looks to the future, not the past. Also, two characters from the previous series make welcome returns - Burnistoun's failed entrepreneur Alex Ciderson presents a new action game for kids, while local furniture retailer James Jumpstyle demonstrates a disastrous line in home deliveries.
An innocent family sing-song takes a devilish turn, a funeral director solves the problem of choosing between burial and cremation, and an ambitious employee panics when the boss tells a joke that fails to amuse. Meanwhile, police officers McGregor and Toshan have a pepper spray battle.
Sketches include: Scott and Peter meet and greet, Alex Ciderson Warehouse, sniper, Jolly Boy John, hard hitting Scottish drama "The Drugs", Biscuity Boyle's sex lessons, helpline/sexline?, emergency Burnistoun Council meeting, a man's terrible dilemma on a bus, Kelly McGlade photoshoot, World's best quotes.
High couture stylishly strolls into town when a world famous fashion designer, Larl Kagerfeld, holds a fashion parade in Burnistoun - making imaginative use of some unlikely local accessories.
In episode one, we pop into a trendy coffee shop that has an original way of serving a cappuccino, the proprietor of a business specialising in wooden pallets gives us his idea of a sophisticated sales pitch in a specially made TV ad, and a high street boutique delivers questionable sartorial advice to a confused punter. One of Burnistoun's youngest inhabitants escapes punishment for being late for school thanks to an inventive note from his dad, while a lecturer from Burnistoun University instructs us in the proper snide looks for different occasions. And while one Burnistoun punter walks round the world, another doesn't even make it across town because of his argumentative satnav. Returning characters include 'quality polis' McGregor and Toshan who misuse a breathalyser, Jolly Boy John with another YouTube-style clip from his bedroom, and pals Peter and Scott fighting over Twitter.