The BEST episodes of 'Allo 'Allo! season 5
Every episode of 'Allo 'Allo! season 5, ranked from best to worst by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The best episodes of 'Allo 'Allo! season 5!
In this spoof of World War II, René Artois runs a café in German-occupied France. He always seems to have his hands full: He's having affairs with most of his waitresses, he's keeping his wife happy, he's trying to please the German soldiers who frequent his café, and he's running a major underground operation for the Resistance.
#1 - Going Like a Bomb
Season 5 - Episode 17 - Aired 12/24/1988
René escapes from the hospital and makes his way back to the café. Herr Flick sends von Smallhausen undercover to the hospital mortuary to look for the Gestapo money. Meanwhile Helga has discovered that the money is forged. It's stuffed down Captain Bertorelli's trousers so that he can take it back to the café. Michelle reveals a new plan for the British airmen to escape in giant landmines, which will be dropped over England.
#2 - All in Disgeese
Season 5 - Episode 26 - Aired 2/25/1989
British Intelligence sends experts, disguised as policemen, to examine the Enigma machine. General von Klinkerhoffen announces that René will be shot if the machine isn't handed back to the Germans. Herr Flick arrests Edith, Yvette, and Mimi and uses a truth serum on them. This makes Mimi act rather strangely.
#3 - Who's for the Vatican?
Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 11/19/1988
Luckily for René, the German Generals end up in Berlin rather than England. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber tell René that he must recover the paintings from the Communist Resistance headquarters. René disguises himself as a Franciscan vicar and sets off with Mimi in the pram, disguised as a baby. Meanwhile, Helga is also heading for the headquarters disguised as a nurse, pushing Herr Flick, disguised as a baby, in another pram. The Italians storm the headquarters and are captured by the Communist Resistance. René manages to recover the paintings but is caught by Denise Laroque and her Communist Resistance.
#4 - René - under an Assumed Nose
Season 5 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/5/1988
The long distance duck is recovered. It was only stunned when Captain Bertorelli shot it. The photograph René took of the invasion map was useless. He decides to leave the Resistance. Michelle tries to dissuade him by telling him she's madly in love with him. Lieutenant Gruber is ordered to arrest René for the attempted poisoning of the Generals. Rene disguises himself as the French General in an attempt to escape the threatened firing squad. Monsieur LeClerc makes him a false nose using plastic explosive by mistake. The nose is accidentally ignited. René throws it out of the window and it blows up Herr Flick.
#5 - The Exploding Bedpan
Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 12/17/1988
Monsieur Alphonse is being interrogated by the Gestapo about the forged money. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber are afraid that they'll be implicated in the theft of the money, so they plan to have Monsieur Alphonse poisoned before he talks. He has a heart attack and is sent to the hospital. René pretends to have food poisoning so that he can get into the hospital as part of a plan to rescue Monsieur Alphonse.
#6 - Watch the Birdie
Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 10/29/1988
It's the day of the Generals' conference. The long distance duck is let loose and Captain Bertorelli shoots it. A French General stops off at the Café on his way to the château and is paralysed by Mimi. Officer Crabtree takes his place. At the conference, the Generals eat some 'mints' which are actually 'foam at the mouth' pills. In the ensuing confusion, René manages to photograph a map of the planned invasion.
#7 - Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/3/1988
Herr Flick is still held in the dungeons, and if he cracks he can divulge that the painting of the Fallen Madonna have been copied. That´s why he must be rescued by Helga, von Smallhausen, and René - dressed as Himmler. The Colonel and the Lieutenant are ordered by the General to let Herr Flick die in a rescue attempt by the Resistance, but seeing the danger of getting caught in a crossfire, they dress up as Gestapo officers to rescue Herr Flick, only to find René chained up instead.
#8 - Flight to Geneva
Season 5 - Episode 21 - Aired 1/21/1989
The latest escape plan for the British airmen involves them sitting astride a midget submarine wearing diving helmets. René plans to elope with Yvette and the paintings. Before he can leave, Helga arrives and forces him to go with her to the château. Colonel von Strohm insists on taking the paintings from René. Herr Flick discovers that General von Klinkerhoffen has sold the paintings for a fortune in gold bars. The gold is stored in the safe at the police station. René steals it. He leaves notes for Edith and Yvette with Monsieur LeClerc, who mixes them up.
#9 - An Enigma Variation
Season 5 - Episode 23 - Aired 2/4/1989
General von Klinkerhoffen has recovered most of his gold from Gruber's tank. René still has four bars, which he melts down and makes into a new weight for the cuckoo clock in the café. Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber offer Rene a deal - they won't look for the missing gold if René recovers their statue from the General's chateau. The Excelsior Quartet, a group of musicians hired to play at the chateau, are detained so that René and company can take their place. They manage to recover the contents of the statue.
#10 - A Duck for Launch
Season 5 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/10/1988
Herr Flick's uncle, Heinrich Himmler, orders him to recover the forged money which René and company stole from the bank. Herr Flick and von Smallhausen disguise themselves as fishmongers to see if anyone is trying to spend forged money. Michelle has spent some of the money on a trip to the hairdressers and Monsieur Alphonse has been given it in his change. Monsieur Alphonse is arrested when he spends some of the forged banknotes. The long distance duck is sent off on its journey to England.
#11 - Down the Drain
Season 5 - Episode 25 - Aired 2/18/1989
The Enigma machine is to be smuggled to England in the midget submarine. René is told to put the machine into a wine barrel and drop it into the sewer. At a certain time, everyone in Nouvion will flush their toilet and the resulting surge of water will send the wine barrel along the sewer to the submarine. The British lay on an air raid as a diversion, but they manage to bomb the pumping station by mistake, so there's no water to flush the toilets with. It's discovered that Monsieur LeClerc has put the wrong box in the wine barrel. The Enigma machine is still hidden in the café.
#12 - Land Mines for London
Season 5 - Episode 20 - Aired 1/14/1989
Herr Flick and von Smallhausen are hiding inside the landmines. The Germans recover the mines and take them back to the airbase. Later they're loaded into a plane and dropped over England, with Herr Flick and von Smallhausen still inside.
#13 - The Arrival of the Homing Duck
Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 10/22/1988
Alternative name: "The Coming of the Long Distance Duck" René, having been dumped out of the Communist truck, reports to the girls that Denise has vowed to kill them all, so Edith starts hiding in various disguises. Helga reports to von Strohm that the paintings are in the Communist HQ, so they make plans to attack the Communists and recover the art, using Bertorelli and his just-arrived Italian troops. Von Klinkerhoffen comes to report that the German Generals will be arriving for a conference to plan the British invasion, and René is told by Michelle that he will end up doing the catering for the conference and that he must photograph the plans and send them by duck.
#14 - A Marriage of Inconvenience
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/8/1988
René's wedding to Denise is due shortly and he is not too happy about it. Edith has hatched a plan, which requires Michelle and her girls to kidnap Denise. Then, Edith can take her place at the altar and marry René. Edith arranges a romantic dinner for her and René at the café. The next morning, Michelle informs Edith that she has kidnapped Denise and put her in a mine shaft. René is getting ready as Gruber arrives to question him. René assures Gruber and von Strohm that the paintings are safe.
#15 - Puddings Can Go Off
Season 5 - Episode 19 - Aired 1/7/1989
The explosive from the landmines is delivered to the Café René, disguised as 500 Christmas puddings. The airmen are busy practicing unscrewing the covers of the landmines from inside, so they'll be able to escape and use their parachutes before the landmines hit the ground. Herr Flick and von Smallhausen disguise themselves as monks and hide in a church bell tower so that they can keep the café under observation.
#16 - Money to Burn
Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 12/31/1988
Herr Flick plans to have Monsieur LeClerc executed unless the Gestapo money is returned. Unfortunately, the money was hidden in the oven at the café until Fanny decided to do some cooking. René tries to get London to send some more forged money, but there's a cockup and the money from the British plane ends up falling all over Nouvion.
#17 - The Reluctant Millionaires
Season 5 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/3/1988
It's revealed that the money which René and his staff stole from the bank is forged and belongs to the Gestapo. Mimi and the Germans have managed to escape. Denise and Louise of the Communist Resistance are on the run. They end up hiding in the Café René.
#18 - The Camera in the Potato
Season 5 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/10/1988
Starting off in women's underwear in the dungeons of the General's castle, René is rescued by Lieutenant Gruber, and comes back just in time to be briefed by Michelle from the Resistance about the camera which will be used to photograph the safe in the château. That night, Helga and the General are supposed to dine at Café René, but Helga is ordered away by Herr Flick, and the General has to endure Edith's "seduction" before he can get away. René can get into the château, but he doesn't know that the safe is in Lieutenant Gruber's room.
#19 - Wedding Bloss
Season 5 - Episode 24 - Aired 2/11/1989
Edith announces that she'll marry Monsieur Alphonse unless René agrees to remarry her. Afraid of losing the café, René reluctantly agrees. Monsieur Alphonse, as Deputy Mayor, will have to perform the ceremony. René returns the paintings to Colonel von Strohm and Lieutenant Gruber. The wedding ceremony is held, but Monsieur Alphonse has problems officiating. Captain Bertorelli brings along a surprise to the ceremony - Christmas puddings.
#20 - Train of Events
Season 5 - Episode 22 - Aired 1/28/1989
The Résistance blows up the train using some of the exploding Christmas puddings. Everyone makes their way back to Nouvion. René still has General von Klinkerhoffen's gold. The General doesn't know it's missing because Officer Crabtree has gummed up the lock on the safe. Lieutenant Gruber is ordered to collect the safe in his 'little tank' and take it to the General's château. The General has also taken the statue containing the real paintings from the Colonel von Strohm's office. René tries to blow open the safe using one of the exploding Christmas Puddings. He manages to blow up Gruber's 'little tank', along with Captain Bertorelli.
#21 - Dinner with the General
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 9/17/1988
The show opens during the air raid which ended the last episode - René is running back to the café, and von Klinkerhoffen, von Strohm and Bertorelli are all hiding under their desks. Herr Flick continues interrogating Helga about the plot to blow up Hitler. Herr Flick and von Smallhausen disguise themselves as musicians to discover whether von Klinkerhoffen is truly planning to blow up Hitler. Michelle devises a plan for René and LeClerc to break into Gruber's room during a smoke bomb diversion disguised as firemen and blow the safe. But Edith and Yvette pick the wrong chimney down which to throw the smoke bomb, instead hitting von Klinkerhoffen's chimney.
#22 - The Confusion of the Generals
Season 5 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/12/1988
The Germans now suspect the French General of trying to poison the German Generals, so René is reprieved. Herr Flick is in traction after being blown up when René's false nose exploded. General von Klinkerhoffen plans to continue the Generals' Conference with local peasants disguised as German Generals at the château and the real Generals disguised as peasants in the Café René. He thinks that the Resistance will blow up the peasants, thinking that they're the real Generals. Michelle arrives at the café to say that a group of British airmen, disguised as onion sellers, will arrive shortly. The German Generals also arrive dressed as onion sellers. There's an air raid and, in the confusion, the wrong group of onion sellers is sent off to England.
#23 - No Hiding Place
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 10/15/1988
Alternative name: "Post-Matrimonial Depression" Denise Laroque escapes from the mineshaft and leads her Communist Resistance fighters in an attack on the Café René. The staff pretend that René is dead so that he can go into hiding disguised as his own father. Colonel von Strohm orders Helga to find René and protect him, since he's the only person who knows where the original paintings are hidden. The Communist Resistance recapture René. Denise decides that he wasn't responsible for the wedding fiasco. She announces her intention to kill Edith, Yvette and Mimi instead.
#24 - Ribbing the Bonk
Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired 11/26/1988
René, Mimi, Monsieur LeClerc, Lieutenant Gruber, Colonel von Strohm and the Italian soldiers are being held prisoner by the Communist Resistance. René and LeClerc are released so that they can go and collect a million franc ransom for the release of the Germans and Italians. General von Klinkerhoffen won't pay the ransom, so René and company decide to rob the local bank. They end up trapped in the strongroom and have to blow their way out.
#25 - Otherwise Engaged
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/1/1988
Alternative name: "Enter Denise" Denise, the head of the Communist Resistance, who was René's sweetheart in his childhood in Nancy, is now determined to marry René. Meanwhile, Edith and the servant girls have to explain to the Lieutenant why his little tank has crashed into the public toilet, and end up getting Gruber's compassion. René has a difficult time telling Edith that he will marry Denise, since Monsieur Alphonse has asked for Edith's hand, and Yvette has it in her heart to tell Edith that René will marry her instead.