The BEST episodes directed by David Croft

The Night of the Thugs
star
8.83
12 votes

#1 - The Night of the Thugs

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 2 - Episode 8

The concert party take refuge from a rainstorm in a ruined temple and fall victim to a fanatical native sect.

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The Last Roll Call
star
8.78
9 votes

#2 - The Last Roll Call

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 8 - Episode 7

The men reach England and prepare for demobilisation.

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Forbidden Fruits
star
8.77
13 votes

#3 - Forbidden Fruits

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 2 - Episode 6

When the army runs out of "that stuff they put in our tea" the men cannot stop thinking about women. Colonel Reynolds tries to see Mrs Waddilove-Evans when her husband is not home.

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Cabaret Time
star
8.75
12 votes

#4 - Cabaret Time

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 2 - Episode 4

A performance in the Kama Sutra Club gets the concert party and the Battery Sergeant Major into trouble.

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Never the Twain Shall Meet
star
8.75
8 votes

#5 - Never the Twain Shall Meet

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 8 - Episode 5

Now that the war is over, the natives return to their village. They want the men from the Concert Party to move out so that they can return to their homes. Sergeant Major Williams insists on dealing with them in a less than diplomatic fashion.

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The Curse of the Sadhu
star
8.73
15 votes

#6 - The Curse of the Sadhu

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 2 - Episode 5

Sergeant Williams tempts the wrath of the gods by ejecting a revered holy man from the parade ground.

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The Last Warrior
star
8.67
9 votes

#7 - The Last Warrior

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 8 - Episode 4

Whilst playing the RMS Lollipop, The Concert Party hear that Japan has surrendred on the USS Missouri and the Second World War is over. One single Japanese soldier has not heard the news that Japan has surrendered. Can the men from the Concert Party convince him to lay down his weapons?

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The Long Road Home
star
8.67
9 votes

#8 - The Long Road Home

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 8 - Episode 6

It's time for the men from the Concert Party to start the return journey to Britain. Everyone is supposed to have injections before setting off. The vaccine runs out before Lofty gets his jabs, so he has to stay behind when the others begin their journey. A new batch of vaccine turns up after the others have left, so Lofty is given his injections and, accompanied by the Char Wallah, he sets off to try to catch up with the main evacuation party.

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Aquastars
star
8.63
8 votes

#9 - Aquastars

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 8 - Episode 3

A show on the river does not go the way it was planned.

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Star Commandos
star
8.63
8 votes

#10 - Star Commandos

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 7 - Episode 6

The Concert Party travels to the front.

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Has Anyone Seen My Cobra?
star
8.60
10 votes

#11 - Has Anyone Seen My Cobra?

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 2 - Episode 7

A snake-charmer's cobra goes missing and is found in the Sergeant Major's quarters.

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Puddings from Heaven
star
8.57
7 votes

#12 - Puddings from Heaven

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 5 - Episode 4

When the men discover a way to get food dropped illegally, they get into trouble. The food (puddings) were meant for some senior officers.

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Come to the Ball
star
8.55
18 votes

#13 - Come to the Ball

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 4 - Episode 3

Lord Meldrum decides to inspect the servants' quarters and Mabel has found a purse containing five pounds. Then the staff are invited to the luxurious ball where the employers have to wait upon their servants...

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Lead Kindly Light
star
8.50
8 votes

#14 - Lead Kindly Light

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 6 - Episode 5

To ensure the very existence of the Concert Party the artists have to impress the area commander.

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Bridge Over the River Hipong
star
8.50
8 votes

#15 - Bridge Over the River Hipong

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 5 - Episode 2

While they are still having trouble adapting to the jungle, the members of the concert party get the task of building a bridge.

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The Great Broadcast
star
8.50
8 votes

#16 - The Great Broadcast

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 7 - Episode 4

The men get a chance to perform on Forces Radio.

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Ticket to Blighty
star
8.50
10 votes

#17 - Ticket to Blighty

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 4 - Episode 4

Bombardier Beaumont tries different ways to get sent home.

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Front Line Entertainers
star
8.50
10 votes

#18 - Front Line Entertainers

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 5 - Episode 1

When the men get sent up the jungle, they find that some Australian soldiers have not vacated their camp, as was ordered.

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Class of 1945
star
8.50
6 votes

#19 - Class of 1945

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 7 - Episode 5

In an effort to free themselves from the Sergeant Major, the men suggest that he apply for a commission.

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Dog in the Manger
star
8.50
8 votes

#20 - Dog in the Manger

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 7 - Episode 3

Captain Ashwood falls victim to unwanted attention from a female officer.

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We Are Not Amused
star
8.44
9 votes

#21 - We Are Not Amused

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 4 - Episode 7

A pageant, written by Captain Ashwood, might offend the Indian assistant to the District Officer.

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Caught Short
star
8.44
9 votes

#22 - Caught Short

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 6 - Episode 7

With money missing from the petty cash, it falls on Captain Ashwood to solve the crime.

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Holidays at Home
star
8.44
9 votes

#23 - Holidays at Home

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 6 - Episode 6

Colonel Reynolds and Captain Ashwood are away, leaving the Sergeant Major to put the concert party on a torturous thirsty jungle-survival course, and he puts them on a charge when writing a complaining note. Later, Lofty dreams about the HMS Bounty in Amsterdam and Hague in Holland.

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The Superstar
star
8.43
7 votes

#24 - The Superstar

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 5 - Episode 5

The Concert Party members are made to feel redundant when a talented new arrival steals the limelight.

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The Pay-Off
star
8.38
8 votes

#25 - The Pay-Off

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 5 - Episode 3

The men of the Royal Artillery Concert Party put on a show for Burmese bandits.

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The Great Payroll Snatch
star
8.38
8 votes

#26 - The Great Payroll Snatch

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 6 - Episode 3

When the men from the concert party are guarding the Army payroll, a local bandit leader tries to lure the Sergeant Major away from the camp.

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Monsoon Madness
star
8.33
12 votes

#27 - Monsoon Madness

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 4 - Episode 1

When the Sergeant-Major makes the Concert party perform fatigues to be ready for the arrival of the monsoon, Lofty goes mad and vows to kill the Sergeant-Major.

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The Guinea Pigs
star
8.33
9 votes

#28 - The Guinea Pigs

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 7 - Episode 2

The Concert Party are roped into testing a new anti-malaria drug.

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Gloria's Finest Hour
star
8.33
9 votes

#29 - Gloria's Finest Hour

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 8 - Episode 1

A head injury changes Beaumont's personality, turning him into a fighting machine.

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Flight to Jawani
star
8.33
9 votes

#30 - Flight to Jawani

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 4 - Episode 6

Men from a remote RAF base get too excited when the concert party puts on a show.

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Mrs. Lipton's Nasty Turn
star
8.32
21 votes

#31 - Mrs. Lipton's Nasty Turn

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 3 - Episode 3

Having discovered Alf's deception and broken his Lordship's crockery in a fit of anger, Mrs. Lipton is left wondering if she still has a job. On a visit to the Sunshine Pantry, Ivy discovers the truth about Miss Potter's cherry cake...

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Stranger in the Night
star
8.32
21 votes

#32 - Stranger in the Night

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 2 - Episode 6

James is embarrassed when his father arrives at the house on the run from the police. The servants decide to hide him until they can arrange for him to flee the country...

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Gretna Green or Bust
star
8.30
22 votes

#33 - Gretna Green or Bust

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 3 - Episode 5

Miss Poppy and Dickie Metcalfe decide to marry and elope to Gretna Green, the rest of the household set off in hot persuit in an attempt to stop them...

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The Wounds of War
star
8.25
23 votes

#34 - The Wounds of War

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 2 - Episode 5

To protect his master, Alf tells Sir Ralph that Lord Meldrum was wounded in the Artillery. Ivy is over the moon when James agrees to take her to the pictures. Mrs. Lipton is convinced that Alf's divorce is being held up by his wife...

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The Inspector Calls
star
8.25
12 votes

#35 - The Inspector Calls

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 1 - Episode 8

The Sergeant Major wants the men from the Concert Party to do guard duty and drill. The Colonel points out that they all have different uniforms, so they wouldn't look right on guard. The Sergeant Major plans to get the gang to dress up in similar uniforms by persuading them to include a 'military' number in the show. Solly manages to get hold of some uniforms and begins to rehearse 'The Road To Mandalay'. The General pays a visit to inspect the camp. He complains about the fact that the men in the camp all seem to be wearing different uniforms. Then he sees the Sergeant Major drilling the Concert Party, all dressed in similar uniforms, and insists on inspecting them.

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The Truth Revealed
star
8.24
16 votes

#36 - The Truth Revealed

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 4 - Episode 4

Sir Ralph sacks Selfridge, his butler, who in turn tells him of his wife's long-standing affair with George Meldrum. Sir Ralph sets out for revenge and the staff have to ensure that a mysterious ""accident"" doesn't befall their master...

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Love and Money
star
8.23
29 votes

#37 - Love and Money

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 1 - Episode 3

Lord Meldrum thinks that Lavender has gone too far and wants her declared mentally unstable, whilst Teddy is determined to pay Ivy a visit in her room no matter how dangerous the route. A party, thrown for Miss Cissy's birthday, brings a few surprises...

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A Fate Worse Than Death
star
8.22
9 votes

#38 - A Fate Worse Than Death

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 4 - Episode 3

The members of the concert party try to find the kidnapped Mrs Waddilove-Evans.

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Twenty-One Today
star
8.20
10 votes

#39 - Twenty-One Today

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 4 - Episode 8

Gunner Parkins turns twenty-one. Sergeant Major Williams wants to give him a present.

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Well, There You Are Then...!
star
8.19
20 votes

#40 - Well, There You Are Then...!

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 4 - Episode 6

Things look bleak for the Meldrums with most of their money lost on the stock market crash and the effects of the Bangokhan beetle. Cissy and Lavender try to save the situation, but the servants have little choice but to look elsewhere for their futures...

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Trouble at Mill
star
8.18
27 votes

#41 - Trouble at Mill

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 2 - Episode 2

The Prime Minister is coming to dinner but Alf's thoughts are consumed by Lady Lavender. At the factory, Teddy's flirtations with the factory girls causes a mass walk out...

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The Gestapo for the High Jump
star
8.15
144 votes

#42 - The Gestapo for the High Jump

'Allo 'Allo! - Season 6 - Episode 2

Lieutenant Gruber warns René about a Getsapo plan to pose as British airmen. Meanwhile, General von Klinkerhoffen has decided to adopt a similar plan and orders some of Captain Bertorelli's men to be dropped from a plane dressed as British airmen. The Italians are dropped by parachute. They wander off and get lost. René and the women from the cafe disguise themselves as characters from horror films so that Herr Flick can't recognise them when he and von Smallhausen are brought to the "secret Resistance headquarters".

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The Night of Reckoning
star
8.13
22 votes

#43 - The Night of Reckoning

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 3 - Episode 6

Twelvetrees gets an offer to be butler for Sir Ralph and Lady Agatha. Mabel is on the verge of being evicted from her home. Meanwhile, Alf comes up with a drastic solution to Teddy's problem...

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The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law
star
8.13
277 votes

#44 - The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law

'Allo 'Allo! - Season 4 - Episode 6

The Germans arrest René, and the Colonel demands an explanation for the knockwursts with explosives in them. After a small lie, René is sent home with around a dozen knockwursts to hang in his kitchen. The British have sent a spy camera with which the Resistance should be able to photograph the plans for the German invasion of Great Britain, but the camera landed in the vineyard of Monsieur Alphonse, and since the Germans commandeered the vineyard, the Resistance cannot go and look for the camera. This problem is solved when the General orders every peasant in Nouvion to work on the vineyard, which also leaves room for some assassination attempts on the General's life.

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The Eternal Quadrangle
star
8.13
8 votes

#45 - The Eternal Quadrangle

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 5 - Episode 6

Gunner Parkins has fallen in love with a pretty Burmese girl from the local village – the same girl that Captain Ashwood and Sergeant Major Williams have been visiting. Then, Gunner Sugden has something to say...

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Fall of the House of Meldrum
star
8.11
17 votes

#46 - Fall of the House of Meldrum

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 4 - Episode 5

Meldrum is convinced that Sir Ralph has put a curse on him. In addition, the rubber plantation in Malaya has been ravaged by the Bangokhan beetle. The family face financial ruin!...

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The Dhobi Wallahs
star
8.10
10 votes

#47 - The Dhobi Wallahs

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 6 - Episode 4

Trapped behind enemy lines, the members of the concert party have to disguise themselves as dhobi wallahs.

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Please Help the Orphans
star
8.09
21 votes

#48 - Please Help the Orphans

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 3 - Episode 1

Alf is being pestered by Mrs. Lipton to finalise his divorce so he gets an old friend to agree to pose as Mrs. Stokes. Meanwhile, he has a brainwave to make some money by fooling Mrs. Lipton into baking some cakes, which she thinks are destined for the local orphanage...

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Kidnapped in the Khyber
star
8.08
13 votes

#49 - Kidnapped in the Khyber

It Ain't Half Hot Mum - Season 4 - Episode 2

When it becomes difficult for Colonel Reynolds to hide his affair with Mrs Waddilove-Evans, he decides it's best to accompany the concert party to a show on the North-West Frontier.

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Fair Shares
star
8.06
30 votes

#50 - Fair Shares

You Rang, M'Lord? - Season 1 - Episode 4

Lady Lavender has now promised her shares to Stokes, and he sees this as a chance to set himself up for life. Meanwhile, Ivy is in trouble for telling Sir Ralph about his wife's indiscretions with Lord Meldrum...

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