The BEST episodes written by Guy Jenkin

George and His Daughter
67 votes

#1 - George and His Daughter

Drop The Dead Donkey - Season 3 - Episode 10

Damien gets caught in South Africa when a dictator wants information on dissidents in the UK. Joy and her friend go to see the Chippendales, so Henry and Dave try to show that they can go one better. George hunts for his daughter who is living rough with a bunch of squatters.

2 votes

#2 - SDP

Alas Smith and Jones - Season 1 - Episode 6

The last of six programmes starring Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones, with Andrew Francis, Tony Robinson, Brenda Blethyn, Annabel Leventon, Annette Lynton and Hugh Burden. Alas the last Alas... but beware these scholars of history, literature and contemporary comment may well return to enlighten you. Tonight's dissertation is on the Spanish Civil War. Ole.

The Airport
155 votes

#3 - The Airport

Outnumbered - Season 2 - Episode 4

Pete and Sue find themselves in every parent's ultimate nightmare - trapped in a foreign airport with three bored young children (and an increasingly bewildered Grandad). Six-year-old Karen grills her Dad about al-Qaeda, and security staff grill eight-year-old Ben about the worrying objects in his bag. How many hours will it take them all to run the gauntlet of delays, security checks and endless games of I-Spy? How many times will they lose Grandad? Will they end up in Guantanamo Bay? Will Ben find the Spanish for "Can I play with your machine gun?" and what idiot let the kids drink double espressos?

The Cold Caller (1)
199 votes

#4 - The Cold Caller (1)

Outnumbered - Season 4 - Episode 5

Mum is still convinced Jake has a secret. Ben is determined to enter a school talent competition with an unusual double act. Then a couple of surprise callers make life more difficult than usual for the family.

The Old Fashioned Sunday
130 votes

#5 - The Old Fashioned Sunday

Outnumbered - Season 2 - Episode 3

Sue and Pete ban TV as they attempt to have a traditonal family Sunday playing games like hide-and-seek, Pelmanism and scissors, paper, velociraptor, but matters are complicated when Grandad comes to stay after he suffers an accident involving a tin of baked beans. Later, Pete worries about teaching sex education, Karen plays the recorder, and Ben's headmaster suggests that he should take a few days off school.

The Long Night
124 votes

#6 - The Long Night

Outnumbered - Season 2 - Episode 7

The semi-improvised sitcom continues as a thunderstorm brings night-time chaos to the Brockman family. Ben wants to go out and dodge the lightning, while Karen is writing to the Prime Minister, asking him to fire her teacher. Jake is being manipulated by his girlfriend, the couple next door are hurling abuse at each other, and Mum has received some shocking news. None shall sleep. And morning brings a policeman to their door.

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The Football Match
149 votes

#7 - The Football Match

Outnumbered - Season 2 - Episode 6

Yet more chaos for the Brockman family as six-year-old Karen denounces Satan and Ben gets on the wrong side of a no-nonsense referee. Meanwhile, Dad is asked to 'sex up' an official document and Mum's competition with her impossibly perfect neighbour reaches a sticky conclusion. But most worrying of all, there is Grandad's fate to be decided.

The Exchange Student (2)
172 votes

#8 - The Exchange Student (2)

Outnumbered - Season 4 - Episode 6

As the family tries to get rid of Auntie Angela, another guest arrives to stay. Mum has to decide what to do about Jake's girlfriend. Ben and Karen discuss dreams, the Mafia and trampolining bears.

Episode 6
563 votes

#9 - Episode 6

Life on Mars - Season 2 - Episode 6

As heroin hits the streets of Manchester for the first time, CID and DCI Hunt want culprits for the smuggling, the dealing and ensuing violence, which becomes difficult when Annie is kidnapped by the smugglers. As Sam tries to get to the source of the influx of this deadly drug, he finds himself intractably drawn to a beautiful young woman who was witness to a heroin-related shooting... and who, he later realises, is the mother of his girlfriend in the future. At the same time, Sam's 'visions' reveal that his girlfriend has decided to stop visiting him in hospital, as she can't keep waiting for him to wake up.

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The Gap Year
74 votes

#10 - The Gap Year

Outnumbered - Season 5 - Episode 4

Dad and Ben go on a winter camping trip, where Ben shows off his survival skills. Jake has to decide about a gap year, and Mum has had enough of Australian god-daughter Stacey staying.

The Night Out
181 votes

#11 - The Night Out

Outnumbered - Season 2 - Episode 5

A Croatian babysitter has a night to remember when Mum and Dad manage to escape for a meal together. Meanwhile, Ben gets thrown out of his sister's pretend restaurant, and Jake gets advice from Grandad on why he should not invade Russia. And a big decision is looming about Grandad's future, but who is going to tell him?

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The Labrador
174 votes

#12 - The Labrador

Outnumbered - Season 4 - Episode 3

Karen is on a sleep-over and Ben is away at adventure camp. Mum and Dad are left with a Labrador to look after and a glimpse of what life will be like once the children have left home.

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The Musical
100 votes

#13 - The Musical

Outnumbered - Season 5 - Episode 6

Stacey is back, Ben has a crisis of confidence over his starring role in Spartacus The Musical and Karen still hopes her escaped hamster will be found. Auntie Angela returns.

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Show Eleven
3 votes

#14 - Show Eleven

Not the Nine O'Clock News - Season 2 - Episode 5

Sketches: MGM Skit / Death Of A Princess (Apology To The Saudis) / Prostitute / Thatcher actor / Kosher Chewing Gum / Stamp auction / Train carriage cleaners / Multi-ligual Hotel Sign / News vendors / Remote Control / Gerald The Gorilla / Man In Post Office / Kidnapping / Tarts / Princess Anne And Mark Philips / Domino Theory / Neanderthal man / Instant Pot Meals / Bob Wellings / King Of Rock n Roll / Banging On The Ceiling / Train Drums

The Dead Mouse
138 votes

#15 - The Dead Mouse

Outnumbered - Season 2 - Episode 2

Karen mourns the death of a mouse killed by her parents while also getting into the habit of swearing, Ben uses some devious tactics when he stands for election as class rep and Jake causes Sue to worry when he brings home a girl for tea. Meanwhile, Pete and Sue have to worry about money, chest pains, a friend is using them as a glorified babysitting service and the the superior mother next door.

The Parents Evening
202 votes

#16 - The Parents Evening

Outnumbered - Season 4 - Episode 4

There is a lot to discuss at Ben's parents' evening including muggers, dangerous chemicals and re-enactments of the Great Plague. Mum is still suspicious Jake is hiding something and Karen decides which of the world's great religions to lead.

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The Funeral
206 votes

#17 - The Funeral

Outnumbered - Season 4 - Episode 1

The Brockman family have some tough decisions to make about work, video games and who to take to a family funeral. The vicar probably wishes none of them had ever come.

The Girls' Day Out
153 votes

#18 - The Girls' Day Out

Outnumbered - Season 4 - Episode 2

Mum has enough of the boys' attitude to housework so sets out on a campaign to civilise them. Karen battles with chuggers and buying shoes, while Dad goes to war with a domestic appliance.

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The Wedding
165 votes

#19 - The Wedding

Outnumbered - Season 2 - Episode 1

Cousin Julie is getting married. However, trouble comes when "Executive bridesmaid" Karen asks her troubling questions about her previous boyfriends, and Ben asks the vicar complex theological questions involving the baby Jesus and lasers.

The Chinese Horde
80 votes

#20 - The Chinese Horde

Outnumbered - Season 5 - Episode 5

Mum struggles to maintain a work life balance (mainly because her children keep going missing) while Dad battles with a mobile phone that has a mind of its own. Meanwhile, Jake is attempting to get home without money or transport, Ben encounters a Chinese horde and Karen has a life-changing conversation with her headmistress.

The Dinner Party
167 votes

#21 - The Dinner Party

Outnumbered - Season 1 - Episode 6

Five-year-old Karen decides she's had enough of mum's nagging and announces that she's leaving home to go to Spain, or possibly Greenland. Meanwhile, preparations are in full swing for a dinner party, and dad agrees to let Ben crack some eggs – which is a huge mistake. As the guests arrive, Ben gets his first taste of gin and mum gets some unwelcome news from Angela. The drink soon loosens some tongues, and things are said that can never be taken back. The dinner party becomes a disaster zone, and, this time, the parents can't blame any of it on the kids.

The Mystery Illness
172 votes

#22 - The Mystery Illness

Outnumbered - Season 1 - Episode 5

Ben's on the case again – this time he's got a mystery illness and is far too sick to go to school, or so he says. Auntie Angela's been dumped by her boyfriend, so the family rally round to cheer her up in the best way they know how – sparking off a jolly discussion about Nazis and rat bags. Meanwhile, dad's little problem at school becomes public knowledge and he begins to wonder if he might be out of a job. Mum's job is safe, however, or is it?

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The Hamster
113 votes

#23 - The Hamster

Outnumbered - Season 5 - Episode 1

The Brockman family returns, older but no wiser, to face new challenges. Karen is having trouble adapting to big school, Ben is auditioning for a part in the school musical (even though he has a voice like a walrus), and Jake has made a foolish (and possibly permanent) fashion choice. Meanwhile, Mum and Dad try very hard not to interfere or send disastrously explosive emails.

The City Farm
234 votes

#24 - The City Farm

Outnumbered - Season 1 - Episode 3

Stuck on the A3, mum tries to keep the peace in a car containing a new-age auntie, a bewildered grandfather, three fractious kids and several full bladders. Meanwhile, dad waits outside the headmaster's office, following an ill-judged joke involving obesity and Ramadan. Later at the urban farm, discussions about death, heaven, racism, bird flu and granddad lead to raised tempers, which boil over in the living hell that is a gift shop. As a hectic day draws to an end, mum and dad look fondly at their sleeping kids in the back of the car and have a brief moment of contentment – until they notice that Ben's acquired a new friend.

The Goddaughter
82 votes

#25 - The Goddaughter

Outnumbered - Season 5 - Episode 3

The arrival of Dad's god-daughter from Australia has an unfortunate effect on the Brockman household.

The Special Bowl
189 votes

#26 - The Special Bowl

Outnumbered - Season 1 - Episode 2

The celebration of parental incompetence continues, with the problems piling up for mum and dad. Their little girl is outwitting them in the endless negotiations about what she will eat, and seven-year-old Ben is further developing his extraordinary talent for lying. In addition, dad has strayed into job-threatening controversy at school, while mum starts a turf war with her sister. Samantha Bond joins the cast as Auntie Angela.

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The Quiet Night In
181 votes

#27 - The Quiet Night In

Outnumbered - Season 1 - Episode 4

Ben's fibbing goes to a whole new level as parents at a school football match begin to compliment dad on his friendship with Gordon Brown and his SAS training. Later, a romantic night in for mum and dad doesn't quite go to plan, as Karen has a friend round whose mum is over an hour late picking her up. When she does finally arrive, she insists on pouring her heart out over a very long cup of tea. As their romantic evening recedes into the distance, Jake raises fears about his friend's parents' divorce, and calls from his form teacher bring more alarming news.

The Swimming Competition
110 votes

#28 - The Swimming Competition

Outnumbered - Season 5 - Episode 2

Karen indulges her competitive instincts, Ben delves into the mysteries of human psychology and Jake appoints himself as a parenting expert. Meanwhile, Mum falls victim to a dysfunctional printer and Dad is hounded by a vigilant Daily Mail reader.

2 votes

#29 - Shame

Not the Nine O'Clock News - Season 4 - Episode 6

Sketches: Punk road painter / Two Ninnies/Two Ninnies Song / Marc Almond / Jogger trying to cross the road / Pub Grub / Arab identifying his wife's body / Parkinson meets Ian Botham / Zak the Alien / Pork Scratchings / Budget / Barefoot thug / Time, Gentlemen, Please / Hey Wow / Pizza Moment / The Memory Kinda Lingers

Show Eighteen
2 votes

#30 - Show Eighteen

Not the Nine O'Clock News - Season 3 - Episode 5

Sketches: Ready Brek / Daily Star / Elephant Man / Thieves without stockings to put on their heads but with a pair of tights / Battered Baby / Harty Skit / Sunbed / The Obit / This Is Your Life / Tax Evaders / American Express (Masons) / Open Marriage / Schmidt Old Slag / Cocktail party / Burglar / Cold students / The New Creed / Vicar Breakdown / Lager / All-purpose Advert / Henry Cooper / Chess / Man Alive Skit / Disco which isn't really / Aural sex

The School Run
346 votes

#31 - The School Run

Outnumbered - Season 1 - Episode 1

It is Jake's first day at secondary school. However, Ben makes the family late because he wants to take an electric drill to school and eventually Pete has to pay him £5 to leave the house. Meanwhile, Karen has nits and wants to keep one as a pet.

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