The WORST episodes of The Goodies
Every episode of The Goodies ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of The Goodies!
Put simply, The Goodies was a live-action version of a typical Warner Bros cartoon, replete with speeded-up footage, film trickery and violent slapstick. The characters bore the same names as the players and were caricature exaggerations of their real selves, hence Tim was the respectable establishment figure, an effete man who grew into a manic royalist; Graeme was the scatty, back-room boffin, the inventor of all manner of weird devices; and Bill was an aggressive, earthy, hairy individual who eventually tended towards environmentalism, socialism and feminism. Each week the three climbed aboard and promptly fell off their customised bicycle for three (the 'Trandem') before remounting to pedal off to their task.
#1 - The End AKA Encased in Concrete
Season 5 - Episode 13 - Aired 5/5/1975
The Goodies are trapped inside a 350-foot block of concrete, with ""turps for burps"", changing religion, cannibalism and I-spy all on the agenda while being stuck at close quarters for so long.
#2 - Alternative Roots AKA The Goodies Find Their Roots
Season 7 - Episode 1 - Aired 11/1/1977
A historical look back at the ancestors of the Goodies; Celtic Kilty (Graeme), County Cutie (Tim) and Kinda Kinky (Bill) and how they were captured by the evil television slave traders.
#3 - The Goodies Almost Live
Season 6 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/2/1976
A concert featuring many of The Goodies' best known songs, including Cactus In My Y-Fronts, Funky Gibbon, Black Pudding Bertha, Bounce, Last Chance Dance and Wild Thing.
#4 - 2001 and a Bit
Season 6 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/26/1976
The futuristic sons of the Goodies have become bored with the extremely violent forms of modern entertainment and seek to revive something truly civilised from their fathers' era – cricket.
#5 - It Might As Well be String
Season 6 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/19/1976
A series of too-honest ads sees revenue for the Goodies' advertising agency plummet, until Tim discovers the joys of string, and Bill and Graeme set about ripping him off.
#6 - Black and White Beauty
Season 6 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/12/1976
Graeme has established a rest home for clapped-out old animals and is sent a pantomime horse, which Tim trains before it is callously stolen by Bill to enter in the Grand National.
#7 - Daylight Robbery on the Orient Express
Season 6 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/5/1976
Goodies Holidays is creating an exciting mystery tour aboard the Orient Express for the Detectives Club, but things go astray when the train is hijacked and taken to the Le Boring Contest.
#8 - Hype Pressure AKA The Rock and Roll Revival
Season 6 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/28/1976
Tim's nasty tv talent show is a flop after Bill and Graeme's folk singing is a hit with the judges, so Tim sets about creating the rock ‘n roll revival and becomes a loony tv director.
#9 - Lips, or Almighty Cod
Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/21/1976
An extension to the Eskimos fishing limits soon has Britain codless, so the Goodies smuggle a cod back from Greenland and grow it to a huge size, but still have to ward off the Eskimos.
#10 - Goodies Rule - OK?
Season 5 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/21/1975
The unwanted Goodies finally hit the big time after years of failure, only for the government to topple and all forms of fun to be banned, requiring a civil uprising and a puppet government
#11 - Dodonuts
Season 7 - Episode 2 - Aired 11/8/1977
Disgusted by Tim and Graeme's love of hunting, Bill vows to protect the last dodo from extinction, even though it has all sorts of horrible behavioural problems for him to contend with.
#12 - South Africa AKA South African Adventure AKA Apartheight
Season 5 - Episode 11 - Aired 4/21/1975
The Goodies are forced to emigrate to South Africa where the absence of black people forces a new form of segregation called apart-height, mainly affecting short people like jockeys and Bill.
#13 - Cunning Stunts AKA Fleet Street Goodies
Season 5 - Episode 10 - Aired 4/14/1975
Bill is fired from the Goodies' newspaper for being a hopeless reporter and after he is rejected by the love of his life, he decides to end it all by entering the Eurovision Raving Loony Contest.
#14 - Rome Antics
Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 4/7/1975
In 55AD the early Goodies venture to Rome to provide entertainment for the fruit-fancying Emperor, but are eventually confronted by Attila the Hun and the invading Barbarians.
#15 - Lighthouse Keeping Loonies AKA The Lighthouse Men
Season 5 - Episode 8 - Aired 3/31/1975
The Goodies answer an advert for ""a little light housekeeping"" and find themselves stuck for five years in charge of an ""overgrown lamppost.""
#16 - Scatty Safari AKA The Existance of Rolf Harris
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 3/17/1975
The main attraction at The Goodies Star Safari Park, Tony Blackburn, is hearing the call of the wild and pining for his freedom. The trio realise that they can no longer keep such a magnificent beast in captivity, and release him. But who should they get to replace him?
#17 - Frankenfido
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 3/10/1975
Graeme's dog breeding venture gets out of hand and Tim's only chance to win at Crufts is to dress Bill in a dog costume, which forces Graeme to custom-make a shaggy monster of his own.
#18 - Wacky Wales
Season 5 - Episode 4 - Aired 3/3/1975
An invitation to an eisteddfod in Wales has the Goodies in all sorts of trouble with the Reverend after they dare to break many of the puritanical local laws and actually try to entertain people.
#19 - Chubbie Chumps AKA Radio 2 AKA The Beauty Contest
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 2/24/1975
Tim has become rather flabby while the others have been away fishing, but trims himself down thanks to a brainwashing radio DJ and enters the Miss Housewife Of The Year Contest.
#20 - Animals AKA Animal Liberation
Season 8 - Episode 5 - Aired 2/11/1980
Tim becomes an animal rights activist. So Bill becomes a vegetable rights activist, and a Watership Down parody ensues.
#21 - Animals are People Too AKA Animals AKA Pets
Season 9 - Episode 7 - Aired 2/13/1982
Graeme's pet shop has a special new line - people dressed up as animals, but they also suffer from being dumped so Tim sets up a protection society, while Graeme cruelly puts the strays to work.
#22 - Holiday AKA The Holidays
Season 9 - Episode 6 - Aired 2/6/1982
A supposedly relaxing holiday in the seaside village of Dunsquabblin turns very stressful when the Goodies are trapped inside for 17 days due to heavy rain and snow.
#23 - Change of Life
Season 9 - Episode 5 - Aired 1/30/1982
The Goodies are preparing to close their business due to old age until the threat of the robot taking over forces them to undertake the Standard Test to see if they are still capable of being Goodies.
#24 - Big Foot AKA In Search of Bigfoot AKA In Search Of ... Arthur C. Clarke
Season 9 - Episode 4 - Aired 1/23/1982
The Goodies set off to the Canadian Rockies in search of the mythical Arthur C Clarke, but find all sorts of other weird creatures including the legendary Bigfoot.
#25 - Football Crazy
Season 9 - Episode 3 - Aired 1/16/1982
Bill the soccer hooligan is in fine form as Tim becomes Chief of Police in a bid to stamp out such boorish conduct, with football then becoming so boring that its fans flock to the ballet instead.