The WORST episodes of L.A. Law
Every episode of L.A. Law ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of L.A. Law!
On this critically acclaimed drama about a top Los Angeles law firm, some of the best battles take place outside of the courtroom. In the bedroom, in the courtroom, or at McKenzie, Brackman, Chaney & Kuzak's staff meetings, the firm's ambitious, competitive attorneys confront conflict between their own desires, their obligations as attorneys, and their principles as human beings.
#1 - Lie Down and Deliver
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 12/7/1989
Kelsey defends a malpractice suit filed by a patient whose baby died during delivery; a divorcée sues Becker over his video; Brackman puts the crunch on a cereal company over a botched contest; Sifuentes is miffed about the firm's new partner Rosalind Shays.
#2 - The Unbearable Lightness of Boring
Season 3 - Episode 15 - Aired 4/6/1989
Kelsey and Markowitz are devastated when Harris changes her mind about the adoption; Melman decides to file for divorce; Rollins hires an attractive new summer intern; the lure of a potential high six figure income leads Perkins move the focus of her practice to representing drug dealers; Kuzak and Van Owen argue about their relationship; the partners quickly regret it when their criticism of Brackman's managerial style prompts him to resign as managing partner, and are greatly relieved when he agrees to their entreaties to return to the job.
#3 - His Suit Is Hirsute
Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired 4/27/1989
Although Sifuentes wages a valiant battle in court on their behalf, Kelsey and Markowitz are ordered to return their daughter to Harris; when the federal prosecutor can't beat Perkins in court over in the Weiland case, he retaliates by having her arrested on bogus charges; Kuzak is forced to put on the gorilla suit again to win a case in civil court against an opponent whose trial strategy is to sing and dance his way to a lighter judgment against his client; Rollins offers his legal expertise when Moses files for divorce; Van Owen decides to take a break from her relationship with Kuzak.
#4 - America the Beautiful
Season 3 - Episode 17 - Aired 5/4/1989
Van Owen prosecutes a homeowner who killed a homeless man going through his garbage; against Kuzak's advice, Perkins decides to testify before the grand jury, where she hands Flaherty yet another stunning defeat; Meyer hires a high powered attorney who successfully argues a motion that prevents Becker from representing Melman if the divorce goes to trial; Stulwicz plays a pivotal role in winning new business for the firm and gains a new friend in the process; McKenzie asks Perkins to return to the firm.
#5 - Urine Trouble Now
Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired 5/11/1989
Sifuentes represents a brewery owner who's being forced out of business by vicious rumors spread by a racist competitor; hip hop meets doo wop when singing groups battle it out in court over trade name and performing rights; after duking it out in heated depositions, Becker and Ganz work out a settlement in Meyer vs. Melman; Moses puts the brakes on Rollins, both professionally and personally; Perkins skillfully renegotiates her return to the firm; a heartbroken Meyer finally accepts that his marriage is over.
#6 - Consumed Innocent
Season 3 - Episode 19 - Aired 5/18/1989
A cocky talk show host who's sure he won't be convicted and is eager to use the publicity surrounding a trial to boost his ratings refuses Van Owen's plea offer of one year's probation for soliciting his audience members to commit an assault on a guest that proved fatal, and is stunned when he is found guilty and realizes that Van Owen's recommendation will send him to prison; Melman flirts with the idea of retirement after she receives her divorce settlement and Markowitz creates her financial plan; Gottlieb begs the assistance of a flu-stricken Sifuentes in containing the threats of multiple lawsuits after a pot-belled pig is eaten by a snake on the set of the already over-budget rock video she's shooting, and the snake also dies after one of her crew members tries to save the pig; worried that the relationship that's developing between Stulwicz and his daughter is moving too fast, Hackett unsuccessfully attempts to end it; Kelsey finds out that she's pregnant.
#7 - The Unsterile Cuckoo
Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 11/2/1989
Sifuentes reluctantly represents a wholesale furrier suing an animal rights group whose disruptions at his fashion shows caused him a million dollar loss; Hackett becomes concerned about the possibility of becoming a grandfather when he learns that his daughter and Stulwicz are having sex, and it takes McKenzie's powers of persuasion and a promise to talk to Stulwicz about contraception to convince Hackett not to have his daughter sterilized; Markowitz is torn between his dreams of glory as the star third baseman at the McKenzie Brackman annual softball game and his promise to attend Lamaze class with Kelsey; Kuzak buys a motorcycle.
#8 - Captain Hurt
Season 4 - Episode 2 - Aired 11/9/1989
Kuzak's defense of a black college professor accused of murdering his young white research assistant blows up when the prosecutor sandbags his case by delaying DNA discovery, thus exposing his client's lies and destroying Kuzak's defense strategy; Van Owen counters an insanity defense based on uncontrollable sexual obsession when she prosecutes a claims adjuster for insurance fraud he asserts was the result of his inability to counter the demands of his dominatrix; Becker's desire to win at all costs and gain a large fee in the process garners his client a large settlement, but wrecks havoc on his relationship with his client; fulfilling his promise to Hackett, McKenzie assigns Sifuentes the responsibility of teaching Stulwicz about contraception.
#9 - When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
Season 4 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/16/1989
Kuzak weighs the testimony of sympathetic witnesses to clear his client; Becker tries to clear the air with an unhappy divorce client; a sympathetic Rollins takes the case of an elderly woman being steamrolled by an insurance company.
#10 - The Mouse That Soared
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/23/1989
Sifuentes duels again with Hamilton Schuyler in a case challenging ""dwarf tossing""; a witness comes forward with testimony Kuzak hopes will clear his client; Kelsey agrees to help a friend sue pro-lifers harassing women at health clinics.
Watch Now:Apple TV#11 - One Rat, One Ranger
Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 11/30/1989
Van Owen is at a loss for words when confronted by a terrified mother after failing to win a conviction against the woman's ex-husband for molesting their young daughter; Becker, Kelsey, and the associates are all wary when the partners decide that the way to stem their declining revenues is to bring in Rosalind Shays, a "rainmaker", as a new partner; Markowitz represents a dating service sued by a hard-to-satisfy customer, who's more than happy to make the acquaintance of Dave Meyer after the trial is over; Brackman's latest scheme to save money on his health food kick has the staff smelling a rat.
#12 - Leave It to Geezer
Season 3 - Episode 14 - Aired 3/30/1989
Kuzak is furious when McKenzie benches him as a result of his recent losing streak and assigns an important trial to Sifuentes; after their retirement home freezes their accounts, four octogenarians rob a bank to gain access to their funds, and insist on their day in court, even though Van Owen offers them a very favorable plea bargain; in his first murder trial, Rollins utilizes his intuition and some good advice from Kuzak in representing a battered woman who admits to murdering the abusive husband who threatened to kill her; in the wake of his anxiety attack, McKenzie decides that the age difference between him and Kepler is too great, and ends the relationship; after he helps Becker arrive at a settlement between a studio and an actress who wants to be released from her contract, Kuzak succumbs to the thespian's charms following a late night celebratory dinner.
#13 - The Good Human Bar
Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 1/4/1990
Rollins's friend asks for his help in petitioning the court to allow her to end her life and be cryogenically preserved until a cure for her incurable brain tumor is found; Kuzak meets an attractive dancer; Becker decides to leave the firm and form a partnership with Ganz; Allison is sexually assaulted by a member of her film crew; Roxanne gets a little help from her friends when she experiences a little stage fright during her singing lesson recital.
#14 - Noah's Bark
Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 1/11/1990
After Becker slinks off with his files and resigns his partnership by telegram, McKenzie gets a restraining order to prevent him from siphoning off the firm's clients; Allison's rapist is bound over for trial after a painful pre-trial hearing; Rollins represents a man with Tourette's Syndrome who's suing his employer for wrongful termination after he's fired because of his disability; Kuzak and Dugan make a dinner date; Brackman gets braces.
#15 - The Pay's Lousy, But the Tips Are Great
Season 4 - Episode 10 - Aired 1/18/1990
Sifuentes's representation of a woman in a sexual harassment case against the federal judge for whom she clerked stirs up some emotional issues about Allison's rape which, despite their best efforts, the couple can't seem to resolve; Markowitz represents an elderly mohel being sued for malpractice; Becker is greeted coldly upon his return to the firm, and must face a hurt and angry Stulwicz; Rosalind subtly pits McKenzie and Brackman against each other as she secretly undermines them to poach their major clients.
#16 - True Brit
Season 4 - Episode 11 - Aired 1/25/1990
Kuzak suspects a barrister is exaggerating his ignorance of American courtroom procedure to influence the jury; Becker yearns for more fanfare from his co-workers; a friend's confession to Diana tests the limits of lawyer-client privilege; Rosalind invades Kelsey's space.
#17 - On Your Honor
Season 4 - Episode 12 - Aired 2/8/1990
Sifuentes and McKenzie butt heads over a suit involving an Iranian airplane; Roxanne leads a secretaries' revolt when Brackman issues a lunch-hour edict; and Van Owen is offered a seat on the bench.
#19 - Ex-Wives and Videotapes
Season 4 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/22/1990
Kuzak pleads Williams's case before the State Court of Appeals; Rosalind is outraged when the partners decline to take on a potentially lucrative client because the company promotes apartheid; Becker represents a man so embittered by his wife's divorcing him that he intends to ruin her career as a prominent newswoman by distributing a private, x-rated video he made of their intimate moments.
#20 - Justice Swerved
Season 4 - Episode 17 - Aired 3/29/1990
A couple is accused of murdering their baby; a sobriety test halts Markowitz and Kelsey's lunch-time tryst; thoughts of Sheila wreak havoc with Brackman's sex life.
#21 - Watts a Matter?
Season 4 - Episode 18 - Aired 4/5/1990
A family whose home was destroyed in a drug raid charge the police with excessive force; Van Owen ponders her sentencing of an 8-year-old cop killer; Sifuentes and Rosalind clash over a test case involving a liquor company's negligence; Marilyn unleashes Brackman's passion
#22 - Bang... Zoom... Zap
Season 4 - Episode 19 - Aired 4/26/1990
Roxanne's dealings with her dad are reminiscent of The Honeymooners; Markowitz's first trial involves a man tortured in Argentina; Rosalind sells out a client.
#23 - Romancing the Drone
Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/17/1988
Markowitz gets discouraging news when he visits a fertility specialist; Melman has difficulty adapting to married life and her husband's demands on her attention until she gets some wise advice from Becker; Kuzak takes a pro-bono case from the overloaded public defenders office and ends up defending an accused rapist with a prior rape conviction and a propensity for violence; Becker is frustrated and angry when his client withdraws her complaint and thwarts his hopes of making case law, and Ryan fails to give him the comfort and support he's seeking; Perkins leaves the firm to become a solo practitioner.
#24 - Beauty and Obese
Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired 2/11/1988
Kuzak represents an attorney suing the law firm that fired her for being overweight; Markowitz gets caught up in the middle of greedy heirs, their attorneys, Kelsey, and Brackman when his client unexpectedly leaves him her multi-million dollar estate hours before her death; Van Owen is outraged and horrified when she learns that her new law firm is owned by a mobster, and is further traumatized when the man is gunned down in a mob hit as he sits across from her in a restaurant; when Rollins's new-found celebrity in the local media as a young hot-shot attorney goes to his head, the irritated partners devise a practical joke to knock him down a few pegs, and Rollins returns the favor.
#25 - Petticoat Injunction
Season 2 - Episode 14 - Aired 2/18/1988
Still traumatized by the mob hit, Van Owen resigns from the firm and decides to take some time off before job hunting; Kuzak shocks Becker into dropping a client who's illegally using court proceedings to boost the ratings for her TV show; the charges against Alden are dismissed when Kelsey and Markowitz can't agree on the stand about the details of their mugging, but they manage to use his greed to get Kelsey's ring back and Alden rearrested on perjury charges; Perkins and Becker give Stulwicz some guidance on dating.