Green Acres

The WORST episodes of Green Acres

Every episode of Green Acres ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Green Acres!

A New York attorney and his wife try to live as genteel farmers in the bizarre community of Hooterville.

Last Updated: 8/27/2022Network: CBS
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The Ex-Secretary
star
5.80
5 votes

#1 - The Ex-Secretary

Season 6 - Episode 26 - Aired 4/27/1971

Oliver is looking through his old Christmas Cards to find the return address of an ex-secretary of his who had moved to California. He wants to contract her because when his watch broke before, his secretary at the time found a repair shop that was able to fix it. The secretary, Carol now works for a Realtor who she ends up saving from being coned out of $10,000 from a con man that her former boss, Mr. Douglas had tried to indite back in New York. By episode end, Carol remembers the name of the watch repair shop on Madison Avenue.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Trapped
star
5.89
9 votes

#2 - Trapped

Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/17/1970

Oliver and Lisa find a basement in their house. While exploring it, they find themselfs trapped. They send a sos up the kitchen sink drain for help.

Horse? What Horse?
star
6.00
46 votes

#3 - Horse? What Horse?

Season 1 - Episode 29 - Aired 5/11/1966

Lisa belives that Oliver's beginning to crack under the pressure of running the farm. After Oliver claims to have seen a spotted horse and a zebra, she calls Doc Watson to give him a checkup. Lisa's attempt to slip Oliver a sedative backfires, resulting in her taking a very long nap.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Son of Drobny
star
6.00
7 votes

#4 - Son of Drobny

Season 6 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/12/1971

Hooterville throws a celebration for the son of a war hero who Lisa claims delivered secret messages during WWII. Oliver tries to tell them that Drobny is just a "dumb duck" sent to them by Lisa's father, but they think he's just being a sorehead.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Retreat From Washington
star
6.33
6 votes

#5 - Retreat From Washington

Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 2/19/1969

With the Douglases in Washington, the "Haney Farm Mindin' Service" leases out their house (for $4 a day) to a couple with six children. Meanwhile in D.C., Lisa and Eb go to the White House to have unannounced lunch with the president, Kimball causes chaos for the Secretary of Agriculture, and Arnold causes problems in a laundromat. Oliver calls an early end to their trip, forcing Haney to quickly dispose of his new tenants.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Lisa the Psychologist
star
6.60
5 votes

#6 - Lisa the Psychologist

Season 6 - Episode 24 - Aired 3/9/1971

Lisa & Oliver decide to take a college course together in Pixley. Oliver chooses a farming course meeting on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays and Lisa decides on a Psychology course, simply because it meets on Tuesdays & Thursdays. After a few lessons, the zany members of Hooterville become enthralled with "Doctor Lisa", who helps solve Eb's, Mr. Kimball's and Arnold's problems with logical reasoning. Mr. Haney tries to sell Oliver a pyschiatrist's couch once used by Dr.Sigmund Frood. An exasperated Oliver has to make an appointment with "the doctor" when he intrudes on Mr. Drucker's psychiatric visit. Lisa gives up her practice to be Oliver's wife again.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
The Ex-Con
star
6.63
8 votes

#7 - The Ex-Con

Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/31/1970

Oliver gives another of his speeches, this one to the County Bar Association, encouraging the hiring of ex-convicts. This leads to his hiring of Willie Dunhill, a man who's spent so many years in prison, he can't adjust to life on the outside; he keeps calling Oliver "warden".

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Everywhere a Chick Chick
star
6.67
9 votes

#8 - Everywhere a Chick Chick

Season 4 - Episode 14 - Aired 1/8/1969

Oliver has the bad idea of getting into the chicken raising business. Haney wants to sell him a ridiculous egg laying contraption, the Monroe brothers build a disastrous chicken coop, and Lisa wants to raise the chicks as human children. The serious trouble begins when the 1000 baby chicks arrive. The brooder stops working and the babies have to stay warm. Lisa's motherly instincts save the day.

Four of Spades
star
6.67
6 votes

#9 - Four of Spades

Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/8/1969

Lisa the fortune-teller predicts that a mysterious stranger will soon enter Oliver's life. That stranger is Tadpole Talbot, Eb's country music singing cousin. Tadpole hires Eb to go on the road and plug his music, but it's not nearly as glamourous as Eb imagined.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
The City Kids
star
6.80
5 votes

#10 - The City Kids

Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/15/1970

Four children from the city spend a week on the farm the Douglases. While Oliver teaches them to plant seeds and milk a cow, Lisa falls in love with the little girl of the group, Lori. The two bond over a batch of banana jelly.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Lisa's Mudder Comes for a Visit
star
6.83
12 votes

#11 - Lisa's Mudder Comes for a Visit

Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/27/1969

Lisa's 'mudder' (mother) pays a surprise visit to the Hooterville farm and promptly takes over as a three-week house guest.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
The Special Delivery Letter
star
6.83
6 votes

#12 - The Special Delivery Letter

Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/22/1969

Oliver tries to pick up a special delivery letter that arrived for him at the Hooterville post office. He and Lisa end up traveling all over the valley because Drucker mistakenly gave it to Hank Kimball, who gave it to Fred Ziffel, who gave it to Arnold. Arnold dropped it in the mail, sending the Douglases to the Pixley post office where two sets of identical twins are working at the windows.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Oliver and the Cornstalk
star
6.86
7 votes

#13 - Oliver and the Cornstalk

Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/20/1969

With minimal help from Eb, a stressed Oliver begins planting his corn crop. Lisa tries to be a useful farm wife by making dreadful lemonade which Oliver pours out onto the ground. The next morning at that spot, he finds a giant cornstalk that reaches into the clouds. At the top of the stalk there's a Jolly Green Giant who bellows "Ho, Ho, Ho" and drops down creamed corn, both in the can and by the bucketful.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Where There's a Will
star
6.86
37 votes

#14 - Where There's a Will

Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/11/1969

Fred Ziffel finds out that Arnold may in line for a inheritance. Arnold has the ability to predict the weather with his tail, supposedely making him a direct discendant of Herman, a spokespig who could also do the same. All of Hooterville, including Lisa tries to get Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago to receive the pig's $20,000,000 inheritance.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Home is Where You Run Away From
star
6.92
13 votes

#15 - Home is Where You Run Away From

Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/10/1968

Eb finds a runaway boy in the barn. When Oliver askes for his name, the boy tells everything but. Claiming such names as "Paul Frankcann", "Carlos Hot Pepers", "Pretty Boy Floyd", and "Al Hamilton" he tries to hide from police when Oliver reports him. The boy then runs away to the Ziffel's claiming to be "Oliver Wendall Douglas Jr." when the Douglases come to pick him up, he disappears and reappears at Drucker's claiming to be "Fred Ziffel Jr.", when Oliver drives over to Drucker's, the boy hitches a ride with Hank Kimball claiming to be "Sam Drucker Jr.". On their way to the airport, they're pulled over when the officer identifies the little boy as Gilbert Henshaw, who in return, claims to be "Hank Kimball Jr." The next day, Gilbert is home, but Eb discovers four more run away boys in the barn,

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Das Lumpin
star
7.00
9 votes

#16 - Das Lumpin

Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/8/1967

Lisa tells another version of how she and Oliver met during World War II. As a member of the Hungarian underground, she saved him from Nazis by hiding him in a barn and earned him a Purple Heart by poking him in the rump with a pitchfork. They saw each other again after the war when Lisa was a professional cello player.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Economy Flight to Washington
star
7.00
8 votes

#17 - Economy Flight to Washington

Season 4 - Episode 19 - Aired 2/12/1969

The Hooterville Young People's Agricultural Society, comprised of Eb, Hank and Arnold, flies to Washington, D. C. for the national convention. When the stewardess tries to throw the pig off the DC-3, the Douglases come on board to smooth over the problem. With Arnold hiding in "the occupied", the plane takes off with the whole Hooterville crowd aboard.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
A Hunting We Won't Go
star
7.00
6 votes

#18 - A Hunting We Won't Go

Season 4 - Episode 21 - Aired 2/26/1969

After a friendly doe wanders onto the farm, Lisa starts a drive to ban deer hunting. When the governor arrives in Hooterville for the start of hunting season, Lisa presents him with her petition. He threatens Oliver and Lisa with jail time because her petition promises everyone who signed it a one-hundred dollar payment.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Oh, Promise Me
star
7.00
7 votes

#19 - Oh, Promise Me

Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 3/5/1969

A check of their their marriage license revals that Oliver and Lisa aren't husband and wife. They'd been mistakenly given a license to practice dentistry. Refusing to stay in the house with a bachelor dentist, "Dr. Gronyitz" moves in with the Monroe brothers until they can re-tie the knot. Their church wedding goes fairly smoothly considering Hank Kimball is the best man and Ralph Monroe is the maid of honor.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Oliver's Schoolgirl Crush
star
7.00
7 votes

#20 - Oliver's Schoolgirl Crush

Season 5 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/29/1969

The principal of Hootervile asks Oliver to address on of his classes, about job opportunities. While talking to the class a high school girl falls for Oliver. This makes Lisa jealous.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
Oliver Goes Broke
star
7.00
4 votes

#21 - Oliver Goes Broke

Season 6 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/20/1970

After saying good-bye to Lori at the airport, a distraught Lisa seeks a job to fill her days. When Haney spots her applying at the County Welfare office, he assumes she's there for the free soup. Soon, Hooterville's convinced "dumb dumb" Oliver has lost his money and sent his wife out to find a job.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
You and Your Big Shrunken Head
star
7.05
37 votes

#22 - You and Your Big Shrunken Head

Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/25/1969

When the Douglases, Eb, and Arnold return from Chicago, Arnold becomes a gift-bearing pig. He gives Mr. Kimball a wristwatch, Lisa an expensive braclet, and Oliver a shrunken head. Arnold soon finds himself the target of every seller from Hooterville, Pixley, and Crabwell Corners, who want their hands on Arnold's inheritance.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
The Man For the Job
star
7.06
18 votes

#23 - The Man For the Job

Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/6/1967

The state committee to nominate a new senator considers Oliver as their candidate. Upon hearing about his credentials (he can read and write), they send representatives to Hooterville to meet the man and learn what his neighbors think of him.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
The Wedding Deal
star
7.13
8 votes

#24 - The Wedding Deal

Season 6 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/19/1971

With just two weeks until their wedding, Eb and Darlene still don't have a location for the ceremony. Mr. Haney's first suggestion, to have it for free at a car wash, doesn't wash. His second scheme, which comes complete with a household of furniture, gets Eb's signature on the dotted line. Darlene's father, however, refuses to let her get married on television in a furniture emporium's front window.

Directors: Richard L. Bare
The Carpenter's Ball
star
7.13
8 votes

#25 - The Carpenter's Ball

Season 6 - Episode 22 - Aired 2/23/1971

Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid going. Planning to get the two together at the event, Lisa asks Hank to be her date to the party. In no time, Hooterville is convinced that the Douglases' marriage is on the rocks and that Lisa and Hank are running off to Acapulco.

Directors: Richard L. Bare

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