The WORST episodes of Green Acres
Every episode of Green Acres ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Green Acres!
A New York attorney and his wife try to live as genteel farmers in the bizarre community of Hooterville.
#1 - The Ex-Secretary
Season 6 - Episode 26 - Aired 4/27/1971
Oliver is looking through his old Christmas Cards to find the return address of an ex-secretary of his who has moved to California. He wants to contact her because when his watch broke before, his secretary found a repair shop that was able to fix it. The secretary, Carol, now works for a realtor who she ends up saving from being conned out of $10,000 from a con man that her former boss, Mr. Douglas had tried to indict back in New York. By episode's end, Carol successfully remembers the name of the watch repair shop on Madison Avenue.
#2 - Horse? What Horse?
Season 1 - Episode 29 - Aired 5/11/1966
Lisa belives that Oliver's beginning to crack under the pressure of running the farm. After Oliver claims to have seen a spotted horse and a zebra, she calls Doc Watson to give him a checkup. Lisa's attempt to slip Oliver a sedative backfires, resulting in her taking a very long nap.
#3 - Son of Drobny
Season 6 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/12/1971
Hooterville throws a celebration for the son of a war hero whom Lisa claims delivered secret messages during WWII. Oliver tries to tell them that Drobny is just a "dumb duck" sent to them by Lisa's father, but they think he's just being a sorehead.
#4 - Trapped
Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/17/1970
Oliver and Lisa find a basement in their house. While exploring it, they find themselfs trapped. They send a sos up the kitchen sink drain for help.
#5 - Retreat From Washington
Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 2/19/1969
With the Douglases in Washington, the "Haney Farm Mindin' Service" leases out their house (for $4 a day) to a couple with six children. Meanwhile in D.C., Lisa and Eb go to the White House to have unannounced lunch with the president, Kimball causes chaos for the Secretary of Agriculture, and Arnold causes problems in a laundromat. Oliver calls an early end to their trip, forcing Haney to quickly dispose of his new tenants.
#6 - The Ex-Con
Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/31/1970
Oliver gives another of his speeches, this one to the County Bar Association, encouraging the hiring of ex-convicts. This leads to his hiring of Willie Dunhill, a man who's spent so many years in prison that he can't adjust to life on the outside; he keeps calling Oliver "warden".
#7 - Everywhere a Chick Chick
Season 4 - Episode 14 - Aired 1/8/1969
Oliver has the bad idea of getting into the chicken raising business. Haney wants to sell him a ridiculous egg laying contraption, the Monroe brothers build a disastrous chicken coop, and Lisa wants to raise the chicks as human children. The serious trouble begins when the 1000 baby chicks arrive. The brooder stops working and the babies have to stay warm. Lisa's motherly instincts save the day.
#8 - Lisa's Mudder Comes for a Visit
Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/27/1969
Lisa's 'mudder' (mother) pays a surprise visit to the Hooterville farm and promptly takes over as a three-week house guest.
#9 - Eb Uses His Ingenuity
Season 4 - Episode 23 - Aired 3/12/1969
All of Hooterville is excited about the upcoming big dance. Eb, however, is obsessed with raising $20 to buy his girlfriend a birthday present. Oliver tells him to be ingenious, so he begins leasing out the Douglases' wardrobe, telling people they're strapped for cash. Eb's big brainstorm: sit for ten babies while their parents go to the dance.
#10 - Four of Spades
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/8/1969
Lisa the fortune-teller predicts that a mysterious stranger will soon enter Oliver's life. That stranger is Tadpole Talbot, Eb's country music singing cousin. Tadpole hires Eb to go on the road and plug his music, but it's not nearly as glamourous as Eb imagined.
#11 - Lisa the Psychologist
Season 6 - Episode 24 - Aired 3/9/1971
Lisa & Oliver decide to take a college course together in Pixley. Oliver chooses a farming course that meets on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays, and Lisa decides on a Psychology course simply because it meets on Tuesdays & Thursdays. After a few lessons, the zany residents of Hooterville become enthralled with "Doctor Lisa", who helps solve Eb's, Mr. Kimball's and Arnold's problems with logical reasoning. Mr. Haney tries to sell Oliver a psychiatrist's couch once used by Dr. Sigmund Frood. An exasperated Oliver has to make an appointment with "the doctor" when he intrudes on Mr. Drucker's psychiatric visit. Lisa gives up her practice to be Oliver's wife again.
#12 - Home is Where You Run Away From
Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/10/1968
Eb finds a runaway boy in the barn. When Oliver askes for his name, the boy tells everything but. Claiming such names as "Paul Frankcann", "Carlos Hot Pepers", "Pretty Boy Floyd", and "Al Hamilton" he tries to hide from police when Oliver reports him. The boy then runs away to the Ziffel's claiming to be "Oliver Wendall Douglas Jr." when the Douglases come to pick him up, he disappears and reappears at Drucker's claiming to be "Fred Ziffel Jr.", when Oliver drives over to Drucker's, the boy hitches a ride with Hank Kimball claiming to be "Sam Drucker Jr.". On their way to the airport, they're pulled over when the officer identifies the little boy as Gilbert Henshaw, who in return, claims to be "Hank Kimball Jr." The next day, Gilbert is home, but Eb discovers four more run away boys in the barn,
#13 - The Beverly Hillbillies
Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired 3/1/1967
When the cast takes ill, the Douglases take to the stage in a charity production of The Beverly Hillbillies. After Eb "punches up" a script from the series, Hank Kimball plays Jed Clampett, Oliver appears as Jethro and Lisa portrays Granny with a combination Hungarian/Southern accent.
#14 - Where There's a Will
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/11/1969
Fred Ziffel finds out that Arnold may be in line for an inheritance. Arnold has the ability to predict the weather with his tail, supposedly making him a direct descendant of Herman, a spokespig who could also do the same. All of Hooterville, including Lisa, tries to get Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago to receive the pig's $20,000,000 inheritance.
#15 - You and Your Big Shrunken Head
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/25/1969
When the Douglases, Eb, and Arnold return from Chicago, Arnold becomes a gift-bearing pig. He gives Mr. Kimball a wristwatch, Lisa an expensive bracelet, and Oliver a shrunken head. Arnold soon finds himself the target of every seller from Hooterville, Pixley, and Crabwell Corners, who want to get their hands on Arnold's inheritance.
#16 - Hawaiian Honeymoon
Season 6 - Episode 25 - Aired 3/16/1971
Lisa cons Oliver into taking a 'fifth' honeymoon together, this time in Hawaii. When they check into the honeymoon suite, they are unaware that the hotel manager's daughter has given her friends the suite for their honeymoon also. Since the suite has two bedrooms, it's just a case of both couples avoiding each other while on their honeymoon(s), for a while anyway.
#17 - A Home Isn't Built in a Day
Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/30/1966
Tired of living in a dump, Lisa demands some serious home improvements. Oliver fires the Monroe brothers and hires an architect to draw up plans. Renovations come to a screeching halt thanks to the Monroes' picket line and famous Hootervillian Rutherford B. Skrug.
#18 - The Special Delivery Letter
Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/22/1969
Oliver tries to pick up a special delivery letter that arrived for him at the Hooterville post office. He and Lisa end up traveling all over the valley because Drucker mistakenly gave it to Hank Kimball, who gave it to Fred Ziffel, who gave it to Arnold. Arnold dropped it in the mail, sending the Douglases to the Pixley post office where two sets of identical twins are working at the windows.
#19 - Flight to Nowhere
Season 3 - Episode 21 - Aired 2/7/1968
The farmers of Hooterville are offered a good deal on a government chartered trip to Europe as part of an agriculture exchange program. Everyone except Oliver misunderstands the cost of the trip. Of course, the wives want to go on the trip, too.
#20 - Handy Lessons
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/6/1968
Wanting to be a bigger help to Oliver, Lisa decides to learn carpentry. She buys overalls and begins to study the craft from the inept Monroe brothers. Lisa's talents result in destruction in Monroes' workshop and earns Oliver a punch in the nose.
#21 - The City Kids
Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/15/1970
Four children from the city spend a week on the farm with the Douglases. While Oliver teaches them to plant seeds and milk a cow, Lisa falls in love with the little girl of the group, Lori. The two bond over a batch of banana jelly.
#22 - Haney's New Image
Season 3 - Episode 13 - Aired 11/29/1967
Oliver gets the usual runaround from Haney when he complains about the ancient tractor he'd bought. But suddenly, it's a new, honest Haney who offers to buy back the tractor and the "dump" of a farm he sold Oliver. Coincidently, he's just learned that the Douglas farm is in the path of a proposed new highway. Oliver's soon onto his scheme and decides to make the charlatan squirm.
#23 - The Good Old Days
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/2/1966
Lisa is homesick for the Park Avenue penthouse. So Oliver tells her the story of Gus and Etta, a farmer and his Hungarian wife who are broken and poor, but make the best of their new-found farm life. Unfortunately, the story ends with their farm being destroyed by a freak flood, and Lisa then longs for Park Avenue even more.
#24 - Das Lumpin
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/8/1967
Lisa tells another version of how she and Oliver met during World War II. As a member of the Hungarian underground, she saved him from Nazis by hiding him in a barn and earned him a Purple Heart by poking him in the rump with a pitchfork. They saw each other again after the war when Lisa was a professional cello player.
#25 - A Kind Word For the President
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/11/1967
Irritated by complaints and about how much money he's losing, Oliver raises the rates at the Hooterville Phone Company. His top priority, however, is getting the Monroe brothers to connect his own phone inside the house. Meanwhile, Lisa discovers the magic of cooking dehydrated food.