The WORST episodes of Green Acres
Every episode of Green Acres ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Green Acres!
A New York attorney and his wife try to live as genteel farmers in the bizarre community of Hooterville.
#1 - The Ex-Secretary
Season 6 - Episode 26 - Aired 4/27/1971
Oliver is looking through his old Christmas Cards to find the return address of an ex-secretary of his who had moved to California. He wants to contract her because when his watch broke before, his secretary at the time found a repair shop that was able to fix it. The secretary, Carol now works for a Realtor who she ends up saving from being coned out of $10,000 from a con man that her former boss, Mr. Douglas had tried to indite back in New York. By episode end, Carol remembers the name of the watch repair shop on Madison Avenue.
#2 - Son of Drobny
Season 6 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/12/1971
Hooterville throws a celebration for the son of a war hero who Lisa claims delivered secret messages during WWII. Oliver tries to tell them that Drobny is just a "dumb duck" sent to them by Lisa's father, but they think he's just being a sorehead.
#3 - Horse? What Horse?
Season 1 - Episode 29 - Aired 5/11/1966
Lisa belives that Oliver's beginning to crack under the pressure of running the farm. After Oliver claims to have seen a spotted horse and a zebra, she calls Doc Watson to give him a checkup. Lisa's attempt to slip Oliver a sedative backfires, resulting in her taking a very long nap.
#4 - Retreat From Washington
Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 2/19/1969
With the Douglases in Washington, the "Haney Farm Mindin' Service" leases out their house (for $4 a day) to a couple with six children. Meanwhile in D.C., Lisa and Eb go to the White House to have unannounced lunch with the president, Kimball causes chaos for the Secretary of Agriculture, and Arnold causes problems in a laundromat. Oliver calls an early end to their trip, forcing Haney to quickly dispose of his new tenants.
#5 - Trapped
Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/17/1970
Oliver and Lisa find a basement in their house. While exploring it, they find themselfs trapped. They send a sos up the kitchen sink drain for help.
#6 - The Ex-Con
Season 5 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/31/1970
Oliver gives another of his speeches, this one to the County Bar Association, encouraging the hiring of ex-convicts. This leads to his hiring of Willie Dunhill, a man who's spent so many years in prison, he can't adjust to life on the outside; he keeps calling Oliver "warden".
#7 - Four of Spades
Season 5 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/8/1969
Lisa the fortune-teller predicts that a mysterious stranger will soon enter Oliver's life. That stranger is Tadpole Talbot, Eb's country music singing cousin. Tadpole hires Eb to go on the road and plug his music, but it's not nearly as glamourous as Eb imagined.
#8 - Everywhere a Chick Chick
Season 4 - Episode 14 - Aired 1/8/1969
Oliver has the bad idea of getting into the chicken raising business. Haney wants to sell him a ridiculous egg laying contraption, the Monroe brothers build a disastrous chicken coop, and Lisa wants to raise the chicks as human children. The serious trouble begins when the 1000 baby chicks arrive. The brooder stops working and the babies have to stay warm. Lisa's motherly instincts save the day.
#9 - Lisa the Psychologist
Season 6 - Episode 24 - Aired 3/9/1971
Lisa & Oliver decide to take a college course together in Pixley. Oliver chooses a farming course meeting on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays and Lisa decides on a Psychology course, simply because it meets on Tuesdays & Thursdays. After a few lessons, the zany members of Hooterville become enthralled with "Doctor Lisa", who helps solve Eb's, Mr. Kimball's and Arnold's problems with logical reasoning. Mr. Haney tries to sell Oliver a pyschiatrist's couch once used by Dr.Sigmund Frood. An exasperated Oliver has to make an appointment with "the doctor" when he intrudes on Mr. Drucker's psychiatric visit. Lisa gives up her practice to be Oliver's wife again.
#10 - Lisa's Mudder Comes for a Visit
Season 5 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/27/1969
Lisa's 'mudder' (mother) pays a surprise visit to the Hooterville farm and promptly takes over as a three-week house guest.
#11 - The City Kids
Season 6 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/15/1970
Four children from the city spend a week on the farm the Douglases. While Oliver teaches them to plant seeds and milk a cow, Lisa falls in love with the little girl of the group, Lori. The two bond over a batch of banana jelly.
#12 - The Special Delivery Letter
Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/22/1969
Oliver tries to pick up a special delivery letter that arrived for him at the Hooterville post office. He and Lisa end up traveling all over the valley because Drucker mistakenly gave it to Hank Kimball, who gave it to Fred Ziffel, who gave it to Arnold. Arnold dropped it in the mail, sending the Douglases to the Pixley post office where two sets of identical twins are working at the windows.
#13 - Eb Uses His Ingenuity
Season 4 - Episode 23 - Aired 3/12/1969
All of Hooterville is excited about the upcoming big dance. Eb, however, is obsessed with raising $20 to buy his girlfriend a birthday present. Oliver tells him to be ingenious, so he begins leasing out the Douglases' wardrobe, telling people they're strapped for cash. Eb's big brainstorm: sit for ten babies while their parents go to the dance.
#14 - Oliver and the Cornstalk
Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/20/1969
With minimal help from Eb, a stressed Oliver begins planting his corn crop. Lisa tries to be a useful farm wife by making dreadful lemonade which Oliver pours out onto the ground. The next morning at that spot, he finds a giant cornstalk that reaches into the clouds. At the top of the stalk there's a Jolly Green Giant who bellows "Ho, Ho, Ho" and drops down creamed corn, both in the can and by the bucketful.
#15 - Handy Lessons
Season 4 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/6/1968
Wanting to be a bigger help to Oliver, Lisa decides to learn carpentry. She buys overalls and begins to study the craft from the inept Monroe brothers. Lisa's talents result in destruction in Monroes' workshop and earns Oliver a punch in the nose.
#16 - Home is Where You Run Away From
Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/10/1968
Eb finds a runaway boy in the barn. When Oliver askes for his name, the boy tells everything but. Claiming such names as "Paul Frankcann", "Carlos Hot Pepers", "Pretty Boy Floyd", and "Al Hamilton" he tries to hide from police when Oliver reports him. The boy then runs away to the Ziffel's claiming to be "Oliver Wendall Douglas Jr." when the Douglases come to pick him up, he disappears and reappears at Drucker's claiming to be "Fred Ziffel Jr.", when Oliver drives over to Drucker's, the boy hitches a ride with Hank Kimball claiming to be "Sam Drucker Jr.". On their way to the airport, they're pulled over when the officer identifies the little boy as Gilbert Henshaw, who in return, claims to be "Hank Kimball Jr." The next day, Gilbert is home, but Eb discovers four more run away boys in the barn,
#17 - A Hunting We Won't Go
Season 4 - Episode 21 - Aired 2/26/1969
After a friendly doe wanders onto the farm, Lisa starts a drive to ban deer hunting. When the governor arrives in Hooterville for the start of hunting season, Lisa presents him with her petition. He threatens Oliver and Lisa with jail time because her petition promises everyone who signed it a one-hundred dollar payment.
#18 - A Prize in Each and Every Package
Season 4 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/22/1969
Criminals rob a jewelry store in Chicago and stash their haul in a grain bin. The expensive gems end up packed in boxes of Crickly Wickly cereal shipped to Hooterville. Lisa knows real jewels when she sees them, but Oliver's sure they're just costume. After taking them to be appraised, the sheriff arrests Oliver for the jewelry store heist.
#19 - Law Partners
Season 4 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/29/1969
Recent law school graduate Brian Williams pitches Oliver on joining him in a new practice. After another of his patriotic speeches, this time about law, Oliver is ready to hang out his shingle. Meanwhile, Lisa is excited about becoming their secretary and Eb is ready to run the farm.
#20 - Economy Flight to Washington
Season 4 - Episode 19 - Aired 2/12/1969
The Hooterville Young People's Agricultural Society, comprised of Eb, Hank and Arnold, flies to Washington, D. C. for the national convention. When the stewardess tries to throw the pig off the DC-3, the Douglases come on board to smooth over the problem. With Arnold hiding in "the occupied", the plane takes off with the whole Hooterville crowd aboard.
#21 - Oh, Promise Me
Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 3/5/1969
A check of their their marriage license revals that Oliver and Lisa aren't husband and wife. They'd been mistakenly given a license to practice dentistry. Refusing to stay in the house with a bachelor dentist, "Dr. Gronyitz" moves in with the Monroe brothers until they can re-tie the knot. Their church wedding goes fairly smoothly considering Hank Kimball is the best man and Ralph Monroe is the maid of honor.
#22 - Oliver's Schoolgirl Crush
Season 5 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/29/1969
The principal of Hootervile asks Oliver to address on of his classes, about job opportunities. While talking to the class a high school girl falls for Oliver. This makes Lisa jealous.
#23 - Oliver Goes Broke
Season 6 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/20/1970
After saying good-bye to Lori at the airport, a distraught Lisa seeks a job to fill her days. When Haney spots her applying at the County Welfare office, he assumes she's there for the free soup. Soon, Hooterville's convinced "dumb dumb" Oliver has lost his money and sent his wife out to find a job.
#24 - The Carpenter's Ball
Season 6 - Episode 22 - Aired 2/23/1971
Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid going. Planning to get the two together at the event, Lisa asks Hank to be her date to the party. In no time, Hooterville is convinced that the Douglases' marriage is on the rocks and that Lisa and Hank are running off to Acapulco.
#25 - Where There's a Will
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/11/1969
Fred Ziffel finds out that Arnold may in line for a inheritance. Arnold has the ability to predict the weather with his tail, supposedely making him a direct discendant of Herman, a spokespig who could also do the same. All of Hooterville, including Lisa tries to get Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago to receive the pig's $20,000,000 inheritance.