The WORST episodes of Green Acres
Every episode of Green Acres ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Green Acres!
A New York attorney and his wife try to live as genteel farmers in the bizarre community of Hooterville.
#1 - The Ex-Secretary
Season 6 - Episode 26 - Aired 4/27/1971
Oliver is looking through his old Christmas Cards to find the return address of an ex-secretary of his who has moved to California. He wants to contact her because when his watch broke before, his secretary found a repair shop that was able to fix it. The secretary, Carol, now works for a realtor who she ends up saving from being conned out of $10,000 from a con man that her former boss, Mr. Douglas had tried to indict back in New York. By episode's end, Carol successfully remembers the name of the watch repair shop on Madison Avenue.
#2 - Horse? What Horse?
Season 1 - Episode 29 - Aired 5/11/1966
Lisa belives that Oliver's beginning to crack under the pressure of running the farm. After Oliver claims to have seen a spotted horse and a zebra, she calls Doc Watson to give him a checkup. Lisa's attempt to slip Oliver a sedative backfires, resulting in her taking a very long nap.
#3 - Son of Drobny
Season 6 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/12/1971
Hooterville throws a celebration for the son of a war hero whom Lisa claims delivered secret messages during WWII. Oliver tries to tell them that Drobny is just a "dumb duck" sent to them by Lisa's father, but they think he's just being a sorehead.
#4 - Flight to Nowhere
Season 3 - Episode 21 - Aired 2/7/1968
The farmers of Hooterville are offered a good deal on a government chartered trip to Europe as part of an agriculture exchange program. Everyone except Oliver misunderstands the cost of the trip. Of course, the wives want to go on the trip, too.
#5 - Trapped
Season 5 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/17/1970
Oliver and Lisa find a basement in their house. While exploring it, they find themselfs trapped. They send a sos up the kitchen sink drain for help.
#6 - Everywhere a Chick Chick
Season 4 - Episode 14 - Aired 1/8/1969
Oliver has the bad idea of getting into the chicken raising business. Haney wants to sell him a ridiculous egg laying contraption, the Monroe brothers build a disastrous chicken coop, and Lisa wants to raise the chicks as human children. The serious trouble begins when the 1000 baby chicks arrive. The brooder stops working and the babies have to stay warm. Lisa's motherly instincts save the day.
#7 - Lisa the Psychologist
Season 6 - Episode 24 - Aired 3/9/1971
Lisa & Oliver decide to take a college course together in Pixley. Oliver chooses a farming course that meets on Mondays, Wednesdays & Fridays, and Lisa decides on a Psychology course simply because it meets on Tuesdays & Thursdays. After a few lessons, the zany residents of Hooterville become enthralled with "Doctor Lisa", who helps solve Eb's, Mr. Kimball's and Arnold's problems with logical reasoning. Mr. Haney tries to sell Oliver a psychiatrist's couch once used by Dr. Sigmund Frood. An exasperated Oliver has to make an appointment with "the doctor" when he intrudes on Mr. Drucker's psychiatric visit. Lisa gives up her practice to be Oliver's wife again.
#8 - Retreat From Washington
Season 4 - Episode 20 - Aired 2/19/1969
With the Douglases in Washington, the "Haney Farm Mindin' Service" leases out their house (for $4 a day) to a couple with six children. Meanwhile in D.C., Lisa and Eb go to the White House to have unannounced lunch with the president, Kimball causes chaos for the Secretary of Agriculture, and Arnold causes problems in a laundromat. Oliver calls an early end to their trip, forcing Haney to quickly dispose of his new tenants.
#9 - The Beverly Hillbillies
Season 2 - Episode 23 - Aired 3/1/1967
When the cast takes ill, the Douglases take to the stage in a charity production of The Beverly Hillbillies. After Eb "punches up" a script from the series, Hank Kimball plays Jed Clampett, Oliver appears as Jethro and Lisa portrays Granny with a combination Hungarian/Southern accent.
#10 - You and Your Big Shrunken Head
Season 5 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/25/1969
When the Douglases, Eb, and Arnold return from Chicago, Arnold becomes a gift-bearing pig. He gives Mr. Kimball a wristwatch, Lisa an expensive bracelet, and Oliver a shrunken head. Arnold soon finds himself the target of every seller from Hooterville, Pixley, and Crabwell Corners, who want to get their hands on Arnold's inheritance.
#11 - Hawaiian Honeymoon
Season 6 - Episode 25 - Aired 3/16/1971
Lisa cons Oliver into taking a 'fifth' honeymoon together, this time in Hawaii. When they check into the honeymoon suite, they are unaware that the hotel manager's daughter has given her friends the suite for their honeymoon also. Since the suite has two bedrooms, it's just a case of both couples avoiding each other while on their honeymoon(s), for a while anyway.
#12 - Who's Lisa?
Season 2 - Episode 29 - Aired 4/19/1967
While fixing the roof, Oliver accidentally drops a hammer on Lisa's head, giving her amnesia. Initially, he's upset because she doesn't even recognize him. He begins to suspect she's faking so he'll take her to New York for the opening of opera season.
#13 - The Rains Came
Season 1 - Episode 30 - Aired 5/18/1966
A drought in Hooterville has crops wilting in the fields. Oliver is so desperate, he agrees to pay Haney $350 if he can bring some relief. That's when Haney presents dancing Chief Thundercloud. When the rains eventually arrive, Oliver refuses to pay. He says the Chief's dancing is not what did the trick.
#14 - Our Son, the Barber
Season 3 - Episode 24 - Aired 2/28/1968
Eb's latest career choice is that of a barber. He talks Oliver into paying his tuition to MIT, a mail-order barber college. Eb's sent a dummy head and hair to practice on and receives his grades by mailing the trimmed toupees back to the school. Lisa is excited about Eb's education while Oliver is irratated by all the hidden costs he keeps being asked to pay.
#15 - The Special Delivery Letter
Season 5 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/22/1969
Oliver tries to pick up a special delivery letter that arrived for him at the Hooterville post office. He and Lisa end up traveling all over the valley because Drucker mistakenly gave it to Hank Kimball, who gave it to Fred Ziffel, who gave it to Arnold. Arnold dropped it in the mail, sending the Douglases to the Pixley post office where two sets of identical twins are working at the windows.
#16 - A Home Isn't Built in a Day
Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 11/30/1966
Tired of living in a dump, Lisa demands some serious home improvements. Oliver fires the Monroe brothers and hires an architect to draw up plans. Renovations come to a screeching halt thanks to the Monroes' picket line and famous Hootervillian Rutherford B. Skrug.
#17 - Where There's a Will
Season 5 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/11/1969
Fred Ziffel finds out that Arnold may be in line for an inheritance. Arnold has the ability to predict the weather with his tail, supposedly making him a direct descendant of Herman, a spokespig who could also do the same. All of Hooterville, including Lisa, tries to get Oliver to take Arnold to Chicago to receive the pig's $20,000,000 inheritance.
#18 - Das Lumpin
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/8/1967
Lisa tells another version of how she and Oliver met during World War II. As a member of the Hungarian underground, she saved him from Nazis by hiding him in a barn and earned him a Purple Heart by poking him in the rump with a pitchfork. They saw each other again after the war when Lisa was a professional cello player.
#19 - The Liberation Movement
Season 6 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/15/1970
After Lisa hears a women's liberation speaker, she demands that Oliver share the household chores while she runs the farm. While he meets with nothing but red tape while trying to build a tool shed, Lisa gets the permit and completes the building with ease. A skeptical Oliver is in disbelief that his wife is so successful at "men's work".
#20 - The Good Old Days
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/2/1966
Lisa is homesick for the Park Avenue penthouse. So Oliver tells her the story of Gus and Etta, a farmer and his Hungarian wife who are broken and poor, but make the best of their new-found farm life. Unfortunately, the story ends with their farm being destroyed by a freak flood, and Lisa then longs for Park Avenue even more.
#21 - The Computer Age
Season 2 - Episode 21 - Aired 2/15/1967
A desperate Ralph Monroe joins a computer dating service to find a husband. Oliver thinks it's a great idea since computers are always right. Lisa thinks it can't possibly take the place of romance, so she challenges Oliver to test their match-up on the electric brain.
#22 - Oliver and the Cornstalk
Season 5 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/20/1969
With minimal help from Eb, a stressed Oliver begins planting his corn crop. Lisa tries to be a useful farm wife by making dreadful lemonade which Oliver pours out onto the ground. The next morning at that spot, he finds a giant cornstalk that reaches into the clouds. At the top of the stalk there's a Jolly Green Giant who bellows "Ho, Ho, Ho" and drops down creamed corn, both in the can and by the bucketful.
#23 - The Carpenter's Ball
Season 6 - Episode 22 - Aired 2/23/1971
Ralph wants Hank to ask her to the Carpenter's Ball, but he comes up with feeble excuses to avoid going. Planning to get the two together at the event, Lisa asks Hank to be her date to the party. In no time, Hooterville is convinced that the Douglases' marriage is on the rocks and that Lisa and Hank are running off to Acapulco.
#24 - The Engagement Ring
Season 6 - Episode 14 - Aired 12/29/1970
Eb is sent packing when Darlene's dad learns he proposed to his daughter with a watch fob instead of a ring. Lisa gives Eb the $2000 ring Oliver used to get engaged to her and everyone is happy--until the father has the ring appraised.
#25 - The Cow Killer
Season 5 - Episode 19 - Aired 2/7/1970
Haney's latest attempt to cheat Oliver could land him in jail if he doesn't repay his $200 by six o'clock. He uses Oliver's irritation over Colby's renegade cow, the Douglases' cow Eleanor and a misplaced phony bovine to his advantage, selling and reselling all three cattle to make money. Along the way, Lisa and Eb become convinced that Oliver is a cold blooded "cow shooster"