The BEST episodes written by Dick Chevillat
#1 - The Day of Decision
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 22
Lisa agreed to try out Green Acres for six months. Today's the day she decides whether to stay in Hooterville or return to New York. Everyone anxiously awaits her decision. In the meantime, Oliver flashes back to their first days on the farm, his physical mishaps around the house, and Haney's lousy products.
#2 - What Happened in Scranton?
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 14
Lisa is shocked that Hooterville doesn't have a beauty salon. She calls her mother-in-law who ships out her hair dresser, Claude. (She blackmails him with one word: "Scranton".) Setting up shop on the Cannonball, he gives the Hooterville women new hairdos. Now, they're too "beautiful" for farm work.
#3 - What's in a Name?
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 21
Ralph Monroe finds herself smitten with Hank Kimball, but discovers that he won't date a woman with a man's name. She asks Oliver to file court papers to have her name changed to something more feminine. While in court, Oliver learns that his license to practice law is not recognized by the state. This sends Oliver back to the books to study for the state's bar exam.
#4 - Lisa Bakes a Cake
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 18
Oliver's upset that Lisa listed him the new phone directory as an attorney. He fears he'll be flooded with calls wanting his legal advice. Instead, lawyer Douglas becomes cranky when his phone doesn't ring. Meanwhile, Lisa tackles a formidable task in the kitchen: baking a cake. When Oliver finally gets a potential client, the unlucky man encounters Ralph's plank, Lisa's 20-pound pound cake and Haney's truck.
#5 - Give Me Land, Lots of Land
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 16
Lisa is against buying neighboring property owned by the Watsons until she see their farmhouse. Thinking the house is part of the deal, Lisa sells the Watsons' furniture to Mr. Haney and has their things brought over. All of this happens while Oliver is in New York arranging the financing.
#6 - I Didn't Raise My Husband to Be a Fireman
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 17
Oliver is allowed to join the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department if he'll play an instrument in their marching band. As Chief Joe Carson explains, they have more parades than fires. Patriotic speeches follow as Oliver takes his new duties very seriously.
#7 - My Husband, the Rooster Renter
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 5
Mr. Haney rents Bertram the rooster to Oliver for fifty cents a day. Unfortunately, he's a "pecker", not a "crower", so he also gets a chicken named Alice. Oliver then sets about getting a phone installed in the kitchen (though the line won't be connected for three months), the plumbing and roof fixed, and electricity via a rickety power generator. Mr. Douglas also meets his county farm agent, the absent-minded Hank Kimball, who takes some soil samples for analyzing.
#8 - Lisa Has a Calf
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 12
Fearful that Mr. Haney will lay claim to Eleanor's calf, the Douglases decide to keep the cow's pregnancy a secret. The Hooterville gossips get part of the story right, except they think it's Lisa who's expecting.
#9 - Lisa's First Day on the Farm
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 2
Lisa gets her first look at their dilipidated--and empty--farmhouse and is horrified. Oily Mr. Haney, who previously owned the dump, took everything with him, including the bathroom fixtures, and tries to resell them to Oliver. Eb, one of Haney's workers, is hired on as their farm hand. Lisa goes out to meet the locals, most of whom have entered a pool wagering on how long the Douglases will stay. Lisa is ready to immediately return to New York, but after a chat with Kate Bradley, she decides to give farm life a try.
#10 - How to Enlarge a Bedroom
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 15
After Lisa delivers an ultimatum, Oliver hires incompetent carpenters Alf and Ralph Monroe to enlarge the tiny bedroom. The Monroes have just begun moving the walls when the building inspector, the father of Eb's girlfriend, "disapproves" the project and condemns the whole house. Oliver is left with an open air bedroom without a roof.
#11 - Parity Begins at Home
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 11
Oliver wants to plant wheat on all 160 of his acres, but the local agricultural committee says he can only do eight. Incensed, Oliver takes his complaints all the way to Washington. Surprisingly, Haney sides with Oliver and prepares to fight the National Guard in "The Siege of Green Acres".
#12 - The Decorator
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 3
Oliver wants to start farming but Lisa demands he have their house redecorated first. Sam Drucker recommends a decorator from Pixley. Kate Bradley tries to tutor Lisa in the kitchen since she doesn't know the first thing about cooking. Kate starts by showing her how to make something easy: hotscakes. Adding to the chaos is Oliver's mother, who arrives to rescue Lisa from her nightmarish country life.
#13 - Don't Call Us, We'll Call You
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 10
With their phone still not connected, Oliver asks Mr. Kimball to put some pressure on his mother, who owns the telephone company. Kimball says he and his mother aren't speaking, but Oliver convinces him to make up with her. His mom is so grateful, she promptly has a phone installed--on top of a pole outside their bedroom.
#14 - The Best Laid Plans
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 4
While Oliver makes plans to get the farm in working order, Lisa travels to New York to pack up their furniture. The Hooterville locals begin gossiping, assuming Lisa left him for good. While she's in the city, Oliver's mother connects her with an architect who designs an extravagant country club.
#15 - My Mother the Countess
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 22
On learning that Lisa's mother is coming for a visit, the Hooterville residents go overboard in wanting to welcome the countess. Despite Oliver's protests that she's not royalty, they forge ahead anyway with plans for a parade and marching band.
#16 - A Star Named Arnold is Born (1)
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 29
Arnold's performance as a British police dog in the Hooterville theater production of Who Killed Jock Robin? turns him into an overnight star. Lisa is so impressed that she arranges for an old friend to give Arnold a Hollywood screen test. The Douglases are soon bound for Tinseltown, escorting the hammy actor west for his big showbiz break.
#17 - Furniture, Furniture, Who's Got the Furniture?
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 6
Oliver's mother sends the Douglases their furniture from New York, while she also rides down to visit them. While Oliver and Lisa wait for the furniture to arrive, Eunice is stuck with Uncle Joe on his handcar, getting to Hooterville. Things go bad to worse when Eunice finds herself the target of Newt Kiley's bull, and the Douglases' furniture is delivered to Mr. Haney's instead.
#18 - You Can't Plug in a 2 with a 6
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 9
It's planting time in Hooterville and Oliver is shocked that the locals make their crop choices based on aches and pains. Back on the farm, Oliver assigns every electrical device a number from one to seven in an effort to keep their creaky generator from blowing. All gadgets up to a total of seven can be plugged in at the same time, but Lisa can't quite grasp the concept.
#19 - Love Comes to Arnold Ziffel
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 3
Fred Ziffel objects to Arnold's love affair with Haney's "basket" hound Cynthia. Realizing that their relationship can never work, Arnold breaks things off. When Cynthia performs miserably at the county field trials, Haney wants to sue over his heartbroken hound.
#20 - The Ballad of Molly Turgis
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 26
Oliver wants to write a folk song about local legend Molly Turgis, a woman so ugly she was run out of Hooterville. Facts are hard to come by, though, because the mere mention of her name causes bad to happen. Lisa feels sorry for Molly and offers to give her a make-over.
#21 - A Hunting We Won't Go
Green Acres - Season 4 - Episode 21
After a friendly doe wanders onto the farm, Lisa starts a drive to ban deer hunting. When the governor arrives in Hooterville for the start of hunting season, Lisa presents him with her petition. He threatens Oliver and Lisa with jail time because her petition promises everyone who signed it a one-hundred dollar payment.
#22 - Lisa the Helpmate
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 8
Oliver has collected soil samples from his farm for the university to analyze. When the samples are accidentally spilled, Oliver's mother siezes the opportunity to get her son off the farm; she mixed the dirt with products from her cosmetics bag.
#23 - A Prize in Each and Every Package
Green Acres - Season 4 - Episode 16
Criminals rob a jewelry store in Chicago and stash their haul in a grain bin. The expensive gems end up packed in boxes of Crickly Wickly cereal shipped to Hooterville. Lisa knows real jewels when she sees them, but Oliver's sure they're fake. After taking them to be appraised, the sheriff arrests Oliver for the jewelry store heist.
#24 - The Coming-Out Party
Green Acres - Season 6 - Episode 2
Lori, the little girl who missed the train back to the city, is staying with the Douglases. Lisa's plan to introduce her to the local children by having a party gets out of hand; the festivities grow to include an elephant and Haney giving biplane rides. While Oliver fights to downsize her event, he searches for a replacement part for his ancient Hoyt-Clagwell tractor so he can begin planting.
#25 - The Marital Vacation
Green Acres - Season 4 - Episode 15
Even though taking separate vacations was Lisa's idea, she misses Oliver before she even gets to the airport. Her constant phone calls and the goofy locals who think he tossed her out of the house irritate Oliver to no end. He gives up and hops a plane tojoin her; the layover in Cuba was an added surprise.
#26 - The Confrontation
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 20
In just his first day as the School Board President, Oliver has started a grammar school protest. The kids are upset that their mascot, Arnold, has been thrown out for popping his teacher with a pea shooter. Fred asks Oliver to represent his "son" on grounds that he was discriminated against, but all Oliver can do is talk to the school's determined principal.
#27 - The Birthday Gift
Green Acres - Season 4 - Episode 13
Oliver plans to get Lisa a horse for her birthday. Mr Haney delivers one, and it's not your average nag. Its name is Mr. Fred, a talking horse who's also a has-been TV star. Meanwhile, the locals decide that Lisa has a drinking habit and attempt an intervention.
#28 - Send a Boy to College
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 28
Eb's talent for curing sick animals leads the Douglases to send him to veterinarian school. Unfortunately, his college career is short-lived due to one small oversite.
#29 - Sprained Ankle, Country Style
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 19
While fixing the TV antenna, Oliver falls through the roof and sprains his ankle. A parade of Hooterville residents shows up to give their regards while he's off his feet, but instead of sharing the food they've made for him, they crowd him off his own bed to watch Frankenstein Meets Mary Poppins on television.
#30 - The Youth Center
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 8
Alarmed by the dropping population of Hooterville, Oliver calls a town meeting to find a way to keep the young people from moving away. Lisa urges him not to become involved because his "goo dooding" always backfires, but he forges ahead anyway. Soon, he's involuntarily volunteered his barn to be the valley's new youth center.
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#31 - Ralph's Nuptials
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 11
Ralph finally squeezes a proposal out of a medicated Hank Kimball, sending a delighted Lisa into wedding planning mode. Even though the Haney-produced ceremony goes off without a hitch, the honeymoon with an absent-minded Hank does not.
#32 - The Picnic
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 22
Oliver wants to have a simple, romantic Sunday picnic with Lisa. His afternoon for two turns into an irritating crowd when everyone invites themselves and tags along. Joining the couple are Eb, his girlfriend Linda and her accordion, her parents, Sam Drucker, his date and her sousaphone, Hank Kimball, Linda's Grandpa and some old lady he hit on at the gas station. That night, Oliver and Lisa take refuge in the barn when the crowd shows up at their house.
#33 - A Tale of a Tail
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 4
Oliver takes Arnold the Pig to Chicago to receive his inheritance of $20,000,000. Arnold is a direct descendant of Herman, a pig who could predict the weather with his tail. However, Oliver soon finds it difficult watching after a pig in a hotel.
#34 - Four of Spades
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 7
Lisa the fortune-teller predicts that a mysterious stranger will soon enter Oliver's life. That stranger is Tadpole Talbot, Eb's country music singing cousin. Tadpole hires Eb to go on the road and plug his music, but it's not nearly as glamourous as Eb imagined.
#35 - The Wedding Anniversary
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 13
While Oliver tries to recall how long he's been married to Lisa, she flashes back to last year's anniversary which ended with them in jail. The trouble began when a panicked Oliver found corn bores in his terrace garden. His mother, refusing to keep party guests waiting at the Waldorf while Oliver plays farmer, started tossing his "crop" off the balcony. Pots crashing onto the street below did not please the NYC cops.
#36 - Wings Over Hooterville
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 1
Lisa tells the story of how she and Oliver met. During WWII, Oliver's plane was shot down and he was stranded in a tree. Lisa rescues Oliver, but doesn't trust him because he "spends more time talking than smooching". After Lisa's story, the farmers of Hooterville discover their crops are being destroyed by some unknown insect. Mr. Kimball identifies it as the "Bing Bug". The farmers appoint Oliver to dust all the crops, but not being in the cockpit for years causes trouble for Oliver in Mr. Haney's cheap plane.
#37 - Never Look a Gift Tractor in the Mouth
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 27
Lisa wants to surprise Oliver with a new tractor for his birthday. To keep it out of sight, she has it delivered to the Ziffels' farm. The old couple mistakes it as a gift from Mrs. Douglas, leading Doris to think that Fred and Lisa are having a torrid affair.
#38 - Neighborliness
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 7
Oliver is frustrated because, among other problems, his new plow won't arrive in time for planting season. Uncle Joe has a solution that, naturally, benefits him as well. He charges farmers one dollar each to enter a plowing contest, promising them free lunch and big prizes. This is all news to Oliver as the neighbors on their tractors start descending on his farm.
#39 - Double Drick
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 25
Tired of repairing the rickety generator that Haney sold him, Oliver checks on the status of his electricity. Learning that his application was never mailed, Oliver decides to deal with the power company in person. He finds that nothing in Hooterville is done simply--or correctly; he ends up with a meter that runs even when it's disconnected and another pole by the bedroom window.
#40 - Apple-Picking Time
Green Acres - Season 6 - Episode 8
Oliver has his first good apple crop, but the valley has no pickers. He suggests the farmers take turns picking each others' crops, but by the time they get to him, they're worn out. Compounding his problems, Lisa's driving lessons include an unplanned wreck with a sheriff's car.
#41 - Law Partners
Green Acres - Season 4 - Episode 17
Recent law school graduate Brian Williams pitches Oliver on joining him in a new practice. After another of his patriotic speeches, this time about law, Oliver is ready to hang out his shingle. Meanwhile, Lisa is excited about becoming their secretary and Eb is ready to run the farm.
#42 - The Road
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 6
Oliver is angry over Hooterville's dirt road, especially after learning that the money to pave it had been appropriated thirty years earlier. Never content to leave well enough alone, he travels to the state capitol demanding that something be done. He makes little headway until Lisa mentions the name of powerful hot dog vendor Big Joe Haney.
#43 - Oliver's Schoolgirl Crush
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 10
The principal of Hooterville asks Oliver to address one of his classes about job opportunities. While talking to the class, a high school girl falls for Oliver. This makes Lisa jealous.
#44 - The Beeping Rock
Green Acres - Season 5 - Episode 23
A wild story told by an 11-year-old about his recent trip to the moon enthralls Eb and Lisa. Oliver believes none of it, especially when the kid sells Lisa a "moon rock" for $14. But once the rock starts beeping under the moonlight (and when Arnold snorts at it), he suspects they're the victims of a practical joke. Oliver ships it off to NASA for their scientists to examine.
#45 - The Hole in the Porch
Green Acres - Season 6 - Episode 23
While fixing a leaky sink pipe, Oliver is reminded that he needs to fix other things around the place, like the loose floorboard on the front porch. After checking it out, he determines it is dry rotted and needs to be replaced. He places a sturdier board on top of it, so no one will get hurt until he can repair it. Mr. Kimball arrives and removes the sturdy board, citing it as a tripping danger. He immediately walks on the dry rotted board and falls into a hole up to his knee. With his injury, he needs to recuperate at the Douglases. Lisa bandages his foot and Hank's admirer Ralph arrives to play nurse for her "Hankie-poo". The annoying patient makes matters worse by blowing his kazoo when he needs Oliver or Lisa. Mr. Haney tries to get Mr. Douglas to sign an out of court settlement in Mr. Kimball's (now his client) favor for $50,000; refusing Mr. Douglas throws Mr. Haney out. Since the patient has taken over Oliver's bed, the Douglases have to sleep in the barn.
#46 - Culture
Green Acres - Season 1 - Episode 31
The "Every Other Wednesday Afternoon Discussion Club" decides to bring culture to the valley by starting the Hooterville Symphony Orchestra. Oliver calls the women "nuts" for considering such a ridiculous idea. Undeterred, Lisa calls her conductor friend Sir Geffory, aka "Poopsie", to come and conduct the orchestra. What he encounters is the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department Marching Band playing the only song they know.
#47 - Getting Even With Haney
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 26
Tired of Doris' nagging about having to beat their laundry on a rock in the creek, Fred buys a Grabwell washing machine from Mr. Haney. The boat motor in a barrel goes berzerk, spraying water and clothes everywhere before chasing the Ziffels out their front door. Oliver is more than happy to take their case and stick it to Haney in the courtroom.
#48 - The Rutabaga Story
Green Acres - Season 3 - Episode 27
It's planting season in Hooterville, but Oliver doesn't know what to plant...the other farmers aren't in the mood for planting this year because they lost so much money from their crops last year. After many thoughts...Oliver discovers that the land in Hooterville is perfect to plant rutabagas. With that, Lisa gets everyone into the spirit of the new "Rutabaga Bowl". She even is sent up in a hot air balloon, to send out rutabagas across the country that says "Eat Hooterville Rutabagas."
#49 - The Spot Remover
Green Acres - Season 6 - Episode 19
Lisa's Uncle Boris sends her a jar of his incredibly effective cleaning fluid. It removes stains from suit coats and rugs, not to mention green from toupees. Seeing dollar signs, Haney sneaks a sample and has it analyzed; the secret formula ends up being a magical recipe for cabbage soup.
#50 - Lisa's Vegetable Garden
Green Acres - Season 2 - Episode 24
According to Oliver, every farm wife should be growing her own vegetables so Lisa starts her own garden. Armed with useless pamphlets from Mr. Kimball and a flask of perfume, Lisa begins work. It's hardly a money-saving proposition after she buys a tractor, farm supplies, and hires Alf and Ralph as her housekeepers.