The BEST episodes written by Carl Kleinschmitt

Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc.
star
8.63
63 votes

#1 - Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc.

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 26

In a hurry to go to the theatre, Rob, Buddy and Sally forget to cross out all the insults about Alan they wrote in this week's script.

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Gomer Pyle, POW
star
7.83
17 votes

#2 - Gomer Pyle, POW

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. - Season 2 - Episode 15

On maneuvers, Carter gives Gomer false information---hoping he'll be captured by the enemy camp.

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Sometimes You Hear the Bullet
star
7.68
741 votes

#3 - Sometimes You Hear the Bullet

M*A*S*H - Season 1 - Episode 17

Frank throws his back out whilst spending the evening with Margaret, and ends up in traction. He promptly applies for the Purple Heart, having been 'technically' wounded at a frontline unit. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye's, is writing a book about the war, and pays him a visit. Later, Tommy is brought into the camp, seriously wounded, and Hawkeye can't save him. A 15-year-old kid is in the hospital to have his appendix out. He joined up to be a hero back home, but Hawkeye has him sent home, giving him Frank's purple heart.

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Uhny Uftz
star
7.59
63 votes

#4 - Uhny Uftz

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 3

While working very late, Rob thinks he hears and sees a small flying saucer outside the office window.

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Marry Me, Marry Me
star
7.47
15 votes

#5 - Marry Me, Marry Me

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. - Season 3 - Episode 10

Gomer dates a girl with similar interests, then discovers that she considers them engaged after the first date.

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L.I.P.
star
7.45
706 votes

#6 - L.I.P.

M*A*S*H - Season 2 - Episode 7

Corporal Walker is being sent home, and he wants to marry his Korean girl so she and their baby can return with him. CID sends Lt Willis to investigate, but when he refuses Hawkeye and Trapper frame him. Hawkeye is upset that a nurse he was pursuing does not approve of the marriage between "a gook" and "one of us".

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A Date With Miss Camp Henderson
star
7.40
15 votes

#7 - A Date With Miss Camp Henderson

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. - Season 2 - Episode 27

Carter bets Gomer he can't get a date with Miss Camp Henderson.

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I'm Always Chasing Gomers
star
7.38
13 votes

#8 - I'm Always Chasing Gomers

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. - Season 5 - Episode 23

Carter decides he must get away from Gomer to avoid a nervous breakdown, but continues to be haunted by him.

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The Recruiting Poster
star
7.37
19 votes

#9 - The Recruiting Poster

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. - Season 4 - Episode 2

Gomer learns his face will be on a recruiting poster -- instead of Sgt. Carter's.

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Little Girl Blue
star
7.33
18 votes

#10 - Little Girl Blue

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. - Season 2 - Episode 21

Gomer befriends the little daughter of a visiting colonel.

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The Longest Weekend
star
7.14
7 votes

#11 - The Longest Weekend

Welcome Back, Kotter - Season 1 - Episode 14

When Julie goes away on a ski trip with a friend, stories from the Sweathogs and Mr. Woodman lead Gabe to be worried about the possibility of Julie cheating on him while she is away.

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A Tattoo for Gomer
star
6.93
15 votes

#12 - A Tattoo for Gomer

Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. - Season 5 - Episode 15

Gomer's practical joke backfires when Lou Ann appears to like his fake tattoo.

I Do, I Don't
star
6.77
66 votes

#13 - I Do, I Don't

The Odd Couple - Season 1 - Episode 7

When Felix feels he's responsible for the separation of a young couple on their wedding day, he tries to get the stubborn couple back together.

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Oh, Dale!/The Main Event/A Tasteful Affair
star
6.72
104 votes

#14 - Oh, Dale!/The Main Event/A Tasteful Affair

The Love Boat - Season 1 - Episode 2

A man must pose as a woman to gain passage on the ship so that he can pursue an ex-girlfriend. A bickering married couple gets trapped in the elevator. A detective falls for a married woman whose husband has hired him to trail her.

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The Curse of the Petrie People
star
6.71
62 votes

#15 - The Curse of the Petrie People

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 18

Rob's mother gives Laura a family heirloom - a huge brooch in the shape of the United States.

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Remember the Alimony
star
6.33
62 votes

#16 - Remember the Alimony

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 20

In another flashback episode, Rob and Laura take a romantic trip across the border to Mexico only to find out that the hotel they are staying in is where couples go to get divorced.

Body and Sol
star
6.22
63 votes

#17 - Body and Sol

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 11

Rob tells Buddy and Sally of the time he became the middle weight champion of his Army Camp.

Love Thy Other Neighbor
star
5.08
62 votes

#18 - Love Thy Other Neighbor

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 29

After Laura and Rob spend some time with their new neighbors, Jerry and Millie feel left out.

The Making of a Councilman
star
5.02
62 votes

#19 - The Making of a Councilman

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 17

Rob wonders if he has enough experience to run for city councilman, after meeting his opponent.

Br-rooom, Br-rooom
star
5.00
61 votes

#20 - Br-rooom, Br-rooom

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 4 - Episode 31

Rob's new motorcycle causes him more problems than he bargained for.

I Do Not Choose to Run
star
4.94
61 votes

#21 - I Do Not Choose to Run

The Dick Van Dyke Show - Season 5 - Episode 16

Rob gives a speech at council meeting that impresses the nominating committee for city councilman of New Rochelle.