The WORST episodes of Toast of London
Every episode of Toast of London ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Toast of London!
Steven Toast, an eccentric middle aged actor with a chequered past, spends more time dealing with his problems off stage than performing on it.
#1 - Submission
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/10/2013
Toast's new girlfriend, the aristocratic Portia de Coogan, thinks it's about time Toast met her father, Lord Fotheringham. To make the best impression, it's vital Toast works on his non-existent sense of humour. Professionally, some voiceover work for the Royal Navy leads to a terrifying visit to the launch of their latest submarine - The Penetrator.
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#2 - Afternoon Tea
Season 1 - Episode 2 - Aired 10/27/2013
Toast's excitement at winning a part in a new play is tempered by two facts. One, his nemesis Ray Purchase is also in it. Two, there's a rumour his director, Acker Herron, has a history of murdering difficult actors. Romantically, Toast has to choose between his old RADA contemporary, the fun-loving and beautiful Greta Cargo and a prostitute...
#4 - Vanity Project
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 11/3/2013
Toast is caught in the middle of an acrimonious and expensive divorce so he needs to find a lot of cash, fast. Given two potential solutions; a starring role in a new feature film being made by a rich Arab billionaire or a laxative ad, he plumps for the former, despite the protestations of his agent, Jane Plough. But given the content of the movie, has Toast made the right decision?
#6 - Addictive Personality
Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 10/20/2013
Things are looking up for Steven. His agent Jane Plough gives him some exciting news: he's won a 'Best Actor' award from trendy Bra'z' Magazine. Toast is also getting more than a bit of attention from the ladies; celebrity journalist Susan Random and the beautiful, but slightly unhinged, Jemima Gina. Meanwhile Toast's flatmate Ed Howzer-Black has invited his old friend Kikini Bamalaam, the daughter of the Nigerian ambassador, to stay. Kikini is recovering from her latest botched cosmetic surgery and now closely resembles a very famous showbiz personality.
#8 - The End
Season 1 - Episode 5 - Aired 11/17/2013
Toast is fed up with his current jobs. With the help of a new agent, Brooke Hooberman, he tries his hand at a new career; an author of erotic literature. He also finds himself a glamorous new lady friend, Kate Khan, who would be perfect if she didn't have her deaf, dumb and blind aunt constantly in tow.
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#13 - Bonus Ball
Season 1 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/24/2013
After losing £20,000 to Andrew Lloyd Webber in a celebrity poker game, Toast finds himself being hunted by musical superstar and part-time theatre-land enforcer, Michael Ball. Needing cash quick, a desperate Toast agrees to dub some gay art house porn. When his nemesis, Ray Purchase, catches him in bed with his wife again, Toast is caught up in a life or death showdown with both Purchase and Ball on the stage of his appalling play... Meanwhile his agent, Jane Plough, thinks he may have won the role of James Bond, if he survives.
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#14 - Match Fit
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 11/3/2014
Toast is intrigued to find that Ed is entering a Celebrities and Prostitutes Blow Football Tournament. It's an annual event organized by Ed's showbiz charity, The River Rats. Ed suggests that Toast enter too. Toast accepts the invitation, and as he is 'fiercely competitive in everything', soon becomes obsessed with winning the tournament.
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#16 - Man of Sex
Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 12/16/2015
Toast and Ed are tasked with collecting legendary actor, and drinker, Ormond Sacker from rehab. After a number of failed attempts things begin to look up when Sacker is cast alongside Toast in West End play Man of Sex. Toast, meanwhile, is dating Varrity Map, a doctor of drumming, and despite his ex-wife Ellen bringing out an autobiography, he is determined not to be affected by her no-doubt slanderous comments about him. But when Varrity's rhythm starts to grow irritating and Sacker succumbs to the booze after the opening night, Toast has to deal not only with his nemesis Ray Purchase but Ray's 'even worse' twin brother.
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#17 - Bob a Job
Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 12/9/2015
Persuaded by Jane at the promise of a potential role as the British Attaché in Kevin Spacey's House of Cards, Toast takes part in a Royal Variety Performance hosted by Bob Monkhouse. While Toast is trying to cope with Monkhouse's constant jokes and the strain of working with Ray Purchase yet again, Scramble Studio's Danny Bear is getting ready for a life-changing operation. When it's time to go under the knife, however, it seems Ed's recommended 'surgeon' may cut a few corners to save a bob or two. And although Toast's legendary Sand Dance performance might go well, he still doesn't have a clue what Monkhouse is on about.
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#18 - Global Warming
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 12/23/2015
You know what they say, 'an actor cannot truly call himself an actor until he's performed at the Globe'. That, and never work with animals. London is having the hottest weather since weather began, Ed's Australian nephew has come to say, and the latest fad of 'Blue Spruce' furniture is spreading like wild fire. When Toast begs Jane to get him in at the Globe Theatre, he's less than impressed with the director, Daz Klondyke, who's rumoured to be the hottest thing in UK theatre. However when he's cast in Klondyke's all-dog version of Twelfth Night, it's not long before Toast gets his fingers burnt as he tries to become a real actor.
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