The WORST episodes of The Phil Silvers Show

#1 - Bilko's Honeymoon

Season 3 - Episode 28 - Aired 4/9/1958

When Paparelli wins a competition for a holiday to Florida, he is overjoyed, until he learns that it is for newlyweds, then Bilko has an idea.

#2 - Bilko's Insurance Company

Season 3 - Episode 34 - Aired 5/30/1958

A car accident near the camp gives Bilko the idea of starting an insurance company.

#3 - Hillbilly Whiz

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/1/1957

When the platoon lose again in a baseball game Bilko is desperate to find new players. Then a recruit from the south Hank Lumpkin turns up and Bilko can hardly believe his luck, as Lumpkin is a baseball star in the making. Bilko then contrives to have a New York Yankee's scout to 'accidentally' find Lumpkin so he can traded, but as a Southerner Lumpkin doesn't want to play for the Yankee's

#4 - His Highness Doberman

Season 2 - Episode 36 - Aired 6/11/1957

Doberman is dating the daughter of a Roseville millionaire, but when her parents find out that he is just another soldier they refuse permission for them to marry.

#5 - Papa Bilko

Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/5/1957

During the war Bilko befriends a French family. Years later, the daughter of the family calls to see ‘ Papa Bilko ‘ as she calls him. Meanwhile the platoon's lady killer Pearly trying to find dates for the platoon falls for her.

#6 - Bilko and the Crosbys

Season 4 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/12/1958

Bilko dreams of what life would be like if he and not Bing were the father of the Crosby Sons.

#7 - Bilko's Valentine

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/8/1957

When Bilko forgets valentines day, Joan Hogan leaves the army, When Bilko realises what he has done, he follows her and tries to get her to reenlist

#8 - Viva Bilko

Season 4 - Episode 19 - Aired 2/11/1959

Bilko and three of the platoon are on holiday in Mexico, when they are robbed of their clothes by Mexican bandits, who use the clothes as a disguise to rob a bank. Later when Bilko gets their clothes back, they are arrested, until he can explain what happened.

#9 - Bilko's Chinese Restaurant

Season 3 - Episode 29 - Aired 4/25/1958

When they learn that one of the new recruit's father started a chain of Chinese restaurants with very little money he decides to get in on the food business.

#10 - Bilko Presents Kay Kendall

Season 3 - Episode 18 - Aired 1/17/1958

Movie star Kay Kendall visits Roseville whilst promoting her film & Bilko gets her to appear in a show he's producing. Bilko's hoping to make a bundle of dough but Miss Kendall soon proves to be more than a match for the wily Sgt.

#11 - Cyrano de Bilko

Season 3 - Episode 21 - Aired 2/11/1958

Bilko helps out one the platoon when he is to shy to ask for a date with a local girl called Natalie. But complications arise when it turns out that there are two girls called Natalie.

#12 - Bilko's Formula Seven

Season 4 - Episode 22 - Aired 3/4/1959

When applejack is accidentally mixed with crankcase oil, Bilko finds that they have discovered a formula for anti wrinkle, which Bilko tries to sell to the cosmetic firms.

#13 - Bilko Presents the McGuire Sisters

Season 4 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/3/1958

#14 - Bilko's Big Woman Hunt

Season 4 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/5/1958

Cpl Henshaw falls in love and ruins Bilko's business,so when the same thing happens to Bilko, when he gets trapped in a lift with a girl, she then disappears and he has to go to the police in order to find her.

#15 - Bilko's Allergy

Season 4 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/19/1958

Bilko develops an allergy to playing cards which prevents him taking part in poker games.

#16 - Bilko's Ape Man

Season 4 - Episode 23 - Aired 3/18/1959

Bilko hopes to launch Pvt Forbes in a film career, by entering him in a Mister Universe contest

#17 - Bilko's Perfect Day

Season 2 - Episode 33 - Aired 5/21/1957

For once everything goes right for Bilko, from hot showers in the morning, to picking all the winners in a horse race, but by the time he realizes it the day is over.

#18 - Bilko and the Flying Saucers

Season 3 - Episode 15 - Aired 12/31/1957

In order to go Washington for a date with a young singer, Bilko has to report to the Colonel that he has seen a U.F.O. and has to go to Washington to be debriefed.

#19 - Bilko Retires from Gambling

Season 3 - Episode 32 - Aired 5/13/1958

Colonel hall hires a professional card player, to beat Bilko at cards. He is so upset at losing that he gives up gambling

#20 - Bilko's Prize Poodle

Season 3 - Episode 35 - Aired 6/3/1958

Doberman gets attached to a poodle, and Bilko sees a chance of winning $10,000 in a dog show.

#21 - Bilko and the Chaplain

Season 4 - Episode 10 - Aired 11/26/1958

The Chaplin and Bilko get back at a crooked real estate agent, who wants to close a boys home and open a parking lot.

#22 - Bilko's Secret Mission

Season 4 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/10/1958

When Ritzik is accidentally given a dose of electricity it makes him magnetic. He doesn't realise it, but it helps him control the ball in a roulette wheel. He thinks he has come up with a foolproof method of winning at roulette.

#23 - Bilko's Grand Hotel

Season 4 - Episode 17 - Aired 1/28/1959

Bilko opens a pizza stand,But it burns down with Paparelli and Zimmerman in charge. So he tries again with a cheap hotel but the same thing happens again.

#24 - Warrant Officer Paparelli

Season 4 - Episode 24 - Aired 3/25/1959

Bilko gets Paparelli promoted, but he turns into a monster, so Bilko has to think of a way to demote him.

#25 - Bilko and the Colonel's Secretary

Season 3 - Episode 16 - Aired 1/1/1958

When the Colonel's secretary gets posted, Bilko make sure that the right WAC is posted in, but this posting takes her away from her fiance, When she learns that Bilko was responsible she makes his and the platoon's life hell, until Bilko gets rid of her and brings in another secretary only to find that he is her boyfriend and the same thing happens all over again.