The WORST episodes of The Hotel Inspector

#1 - Who'd A Thought It, Kent

Season 8 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/7/2011

In Kent, self-styled showman Joe has been popping champagne corks in the family-owned, eight-bedroom 'champagne and oyster bar with rooms' for the past 23 years. After leaving his London casino job to manage the business, Joe’s aim has been to bring a taste of the four-star city luxury to the quiet Kent countryside. But his ‘unique’ tastes in décor haven’t been to everyone’s liking. Cowhide bedspreads, four-man hot tubs and erotic artwork are just some of the delights facing potential guests at check-in. The poor occupancy rates and dwindling profits tell their own story. Alex has her hands full, trying to convince Joe to embrace some changes to make his hotel a little more 'female friendly'. But when she is asked to spend the night in the ‘Champagne and Shoes’ room with mirrored ceilings and a dance pole, it is clear that Joe’s naked ambition may have gone one step too far…

#2 - Number Nine

Season 4 - Episode 5 - Aired 8/7/2008

Alex heads to Torquay, which was once home to Britain’s most notorious fictional hotel. The 12-room guesthouse Number Nine is no Fawlty Towers, but it is certainly faulty – losing both guests and money. Owner Rachel Roffe admits she is out of her depth. “A week after I moved here, I remember sitting in the garden, and I just burst into tears and thought, ‘Oh my God, what have I done?’” she recalls.

#3 - Nandos/Forget-Me-Not Guest House, Stratford

Season 1 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/29/2005

#4 - Butley Priory, Suffolk

Season 3 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/11/2007

Tonight, Ruth visits a bed and breakfast establishment housed in a beautiful medieval priory. The owner is reluctant to share her home with guests, but needs to boost her income to avoid losing the property altogether. Can Ruth persuade her to focus the business on weddings and fashion shoots? Butley Priory is a six-bedroom B&B in a converted 14th-century priory, just a stone’s throw from Ruth’s own hotel in Suffolk. The owner is musician and former model Frances Cavendish, who opened her home to paying guests to make ends meets after her divorce eight years ago. Unfortunately, the rooms often stand empty and Frances is on the brink of selling up. “If we don’t get more guests through the door I’m going to have to call it a day,” she tells Ruth.

#5 - Weyanoke, Eastbourne

Season 3 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/18/2007

Renowned hotelier, restaurateur and author Ruth Watson continues her mission to reverse Britain’s reputation for poorly run hotels, guesthouses and B&Bs. In tonight’s instalment, Ruth tackles the oddly named Weyanoke – a large hotel on the Eastbourne coast currently suffering from something of an identity crisis. Three years ago, after a stint running a small B&B, Mark and Heidi Cowderoy bought the Weyanoke – a beautiful, 33-bedroom Victorian hotel situated on the Eastbourne seafront. In the past, the hotel has catered mainly for coach parties of pensioners paying as little as £20 for a room, but this business is quickly dying out. Heidi and Mark decided to refurbish the hotel to take it upmarket, but their spending has meant that they have failed to make any profit since the beginning of their venture. Since buying the hotel, the couple have spent in excess of £1 million on what Mark calls a “Victorian money pit”. Now deep in debt, Mark and Heidi are in dire need of Ruth’s help before their business collapses.

#6 - Beech House Hotel, Reading

Season 3 - Episode 2 - Aired 9/13/2007

Ruth attempts to change the fortunes of a hotel in Reading, whose owner is resistant to the idea of altering his prices. Beech House is a 15-bedroom hotel in Reading, owned by businessman Michael Bissell. Michael converted the hotel from a care home four years ago and invested around half a million pounds in the facilities, but so far he has failed to attract guests in Reading’s competitive market. The hotel has lost huge amounts of money and Michael has even had to cash in his pension to keep it afloat. “Because of the losses that I’ve made, it’s been me paying the guests to stay here,” he says. Months away from bankruptcy, he has called in Ruth Watson to help avert disaster.

#7 - Safari Hotel, Bournemouth

Season 3 - Episode 3 - Aired 9/27/2007

Ruth meets Vincent and Lidy Van Nuyk, the Dutch owners of the 14-bedroom Safari hotel in Bournemouth. Drowning in debt and unable to carry out vital renovations on the hotel, Vincent and Lidy desperately need help if they are to turn their fortunes around. Vincent and Lidy took on the Safari after 13 years spent running a successful restaurant in Ireland took their toll on Vincent’s health. However, their hopes of a quiet life are unfulfilled: the hotel has failed to turn a profit and they have been driven to the brink of bankruptcy. The lack of money is reflected in the shabbiness of the hotel, which is in dire need of renovation. “We feel defeated,” sighs Lidy. “We want to improve, but we have no cash for it.” To save money, Lidy and Vincent do all the work themselves –including cleaning the 14 bedrooms and doing all the cooking –and are forced to live in one room. Overwhelmed, they have no idea how to pull themselves out of this hole and need someone to show them how to improve things.

#8 - St Alfeges B&B, Greenwich

Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 10/27/2007

In tonight’s instalment, Ruth visits the heart of Greenwich, South-East London, to meet actor hotelier Robert Gray and assess his three-bedroom B&B. Actor Robert Gray turned his home into St Alfeges B&B five years ago to maintain the cashflow between acting jobs. A former antiques dealer, he has filled his house with unusual art and objects and decorated with flair and personality – but he is the first to admit that the ‘shabby-chic’ look is starting to look just “shabby”. “I think we need a facelift,” he confesses.

#9 - Haven Hotel, Great Yarmouth

Season 3 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/15/2007

Ruth comes to the aid of a pair of novice hoteliers in Great Yarmouth, who desperately need a crash course in the hotel business if their guesthouse is to stay open. To see how a hotel should be run, they visit a five-star hotel in their town, before Ruth takes them to her own establishment in Orford.

#10 - Woodlands Lodge Hotel, New Forest

Season 3 - Episode 8 - Aired 11/22/2007

Ruth heads to the Woodlands Lodge, a 16-bedroom country hotel set deep in the heart of the New Forest. The Woodlands' restaurant has recently lost its coveted AA rosette and a new hotel in the area looks set to ruin the business. Can Ruth help transform the hotel's faded decor and put owners David and Jenny Norbury back on track?

#11 - Key West Guest House, Newquay (Revisit)

Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 12/13/2007

Ruth finds out if Brian and Gill Scott, owners of the Key West hotel in Newquay, took her advice when she visited them a year previously.

#12 - Tasburgh House Hotel, Bath (Revisit)

Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/27/2007

Ruth returns to the Tasburgh House hotel near Bath to see if owner Sue Keeling - a retired air hostess - has managed to turn her fortunes around. Will the business be flying high, or has it been grounded?

#13 - Saxonia Guest House

Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 7/6/2006

#14 - Langtry Manor Hotel

Season 2 - Episode 2 - Aired 7/13/2006

#15 - Key West Hotel

Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 7/20/2006

#16 - Sparkles Hotel

Season 2 - Episode 4 - Aired 7/27/2006

#17 - Blossoms Guest House

Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 8/3/2006

#18 - Worlington Hall Hotel, Suffolk

Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/13/2005

#19 - Tasburgh House Hotel

Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 8/10/2006

#20 - Hanmer Arms Revisited

Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 8/17/2006

#21 - Worlington Hall Hotel Revisited

Season 2 - Episode 8 - Aired 8/24/2006

#22 - Merlin Court Hotel, Devon

Season 7 - Episode 5 - Aired 5/16/2011

Alex visits the seaside town of Ilfracombe in Devon. The Shears family has asked for help with the themed Merlin Court Hotel, as rising debts and plummeting occupancy rates threaten to endanger the establishment's future. Dad Mike bought the 14-bedroom hotel 13 years ago, hoping to provide guests with a legendary holiday experience evoking Arthurian legend and the Knights of the Round Table. His wife Helen and daughter Carina play a supporting role in the running of the hotel. Mike hopes that Alex can bring some much-needed magic to the hostelry, but she first has to get the Shears to learn how to work together and fight for their own survival. Can she make the Merlin Court the stuff of legend?

#23 - Warwick Hall

Season 16 - Episode 7 - Aired 7/29/2021

Alex Polizzi returns to one of her grandest hotels, Warwick Hall in Cumbria, to find out how it's surviving since her last visit when it was suffering from incredibly low occupancy.

#24 - The New Lyngarth, Blackpool

Season 8 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/14/2011

Alex Polizzi visits a Blackpool hotelier who has grand plans for his seaside establishment, but a lack of star rating and a string of bad reviews have led to dwindling bookings. Having bought the derelict 15-bedroom property in 2009, the owner spent £250,000 trying to turn it into an upmarket destination more in keeping with a private members' club.

#25 - Brendan Chase, Lake District

Season 7 - Episode 4 - Aired 5/9/2011

The Hotel Inspector is called to the Brendan Chase in the Lake District by sixty-three-year-old former chartered accountant David Maloney. Alex Polizzi is shocked to find a dated B&B with an hotelier to match. Can Alex drag David screaming and kicking into the 21st century? David has run the eleven-bedroom Brendan Chase single-handedly for the past seven years. He keeps a strict, and expansive, set of rules, which are not always popular with guests, especially those with young families. David has also eschewed 21st century technology, with the internet and the credit card largely ignored. David prefers the rather more oldfashioned code of dos and don'ts. Unsurprisingly, the B&B makes puny profits, leaving the outdoors enthusiast chained to the business, unable to afford help with his myriad chores. Alex must find a way to break down David's defences, and try to raise occupancy rates and profits to allow him to start enjoying life once more. Alex struggles to break through David's armour – and when he accuses her of creating a tea stain on his carpet, things get even worse...