The WORST episodes of RiffTrax
Every episode of RiffTrax ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of RiffTrax!
RiffTrax is comedy narration to your favorite movies & TV shows, plus some wonderfully terrible films. Written and performed by the stars of the award-winning TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000, RiffTrax brings the unique humor of "Satellite of Love" MST3K partners Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett to Hollywood's hit movies. Season 1: Official RiffTrax Season 2: RiffTrax Presents Season 3: Shorts Season 4: iRiffs Season 5: Total Riff Off Season 6: RiffTrax Live!
#1 - No Retreat, No Surrender
Season 1 - Episode 211 - Aired 10/16/2015
An organized crime syndicate is attempting to muscle out all the karate dojos in the country with the aid of deadly Russian black belt, and it’s up to the new kid in town and his breakdancing sidekick to defeat them, if the local bully doesn’t stop him first! Here is a test: at which point in the above sentence did you realize the film was a product of the 80s? A. After “Karate Dojos” B. After “Deadly Russian” C. After “Breakdancing sidekick” D. I actually thought it was a Sofia Coppola film from the late 2000s If you answered A, B, or C, then congratulations! Your senses have been honed to detect the fine subtleties of 80s cheese and you are going to enjoy the hell out of No Retreat, No Surrender. “Borrowing” the jingoism of Rocky IV and pretty much everything else from The Karate Kid, it adds the baffling twist of having our hero learn karate from the ghost of Bruce Lee. It is the second most unrealistic thing in the movie after having Jean Claude Van Damme portray a Russian. Co-starring other 80s staples such as the fat guy who is always eating (otherwise viewers might not have noticed that he is fat) and training montages that out-parody every training montage parody you’ve ever seen, No Retreat, No Surrenderwill get you so pumped up you’ll be tempted to forgive Van Damme for Street Fighter. All that’s missing is a ponytailed, toxic waste dumping millionaire to deem it: “Perfect…”
#2 - Flight to Mars
Season 2 - Episode 32 - Aired 3/18/2016
September 29, 2015 – NASA scientists announce the discovery of water on Mars, entirely failing to acknowledge the far more significant discoveries made by a team of dedicated scientists (and Cameron Mitchell) made on their flight there in 1951. Water? Check. Grapes on walls? Check. No pants for ladies? Oh, hell yeah. David Bowie's query has finally been answered – there is life on Mars! OK, technically his query was answered decades before he recorded that song, but life on Mars there is, be-robed, pants-less life, and it's the job of these intrepid travelers to explain “What is kiss, Earthman?” Flight to Mars represents everything you could possibly want in a sci-fi movie, provided you don't ask for eye-popping CGI effects you'll remember in your dreams, or anything not featuring the guy from Supersonic Man.
#3 - Wizards of the Lost Kingdom
Season 1 - Episode 218 - Aired 3/11/2016
From the deepest, darkest, most sorcerously stained corner of the video store, in the “mid-80s fantasy movies trying to trick you into thinking they were kind of like Star Wars” section, it’s Wizards of the Lost Kingdom! Yes, it’s hard to believe now, but in the 80s people were still pretty obsessed with Star Wars. Oh, how the world has changed since then! And Wizards of the Lost Kingdom brings the knock-off heat. A roguish but charming scoundrel who can’t help but do the right thing: Check! A giant hairy monster mess of a best friend who makes digestive sounds to communicate: Check! A whiny unlikable kid prodigy who’s the son of a more famous magic type: Check, with extra unlikeability! A thrilling plot full of amazing special effects and edge-of-your-seat action: uh… did we mention the furry digestive sounds guy? Wizards of the Lost Kingdom is like 6 different movies in one, in the sense that it was seemingly cobbled together from at least 6 different movies into one not-at-all cohesive whole! And it stars Bo Svenson, who you may recognize from small parts in some Tarantino movies, the kind of small parts in Tarantino movies actors get because they were once in obscure movies like Wizards of the Lost Kingdom. The film business is confusing! Finders keepers losers weepers, sorry Wizards but it’s our Kingdom now! Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the tour of an ancient Spencer’s Gifts store that is Wizards of the Lost Kingdom!
#4 - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2
Season 1 - Episode 216 - Aired 3/8/2016
At long last, the conclusion to the endless, seriously endless, so-unbelievably-endless-they-took-two-whole-movies-to-end-it endless Harry Potter saga is here, fully riffed and available in delicious RiffTrax flavored jellybean form! Until this movie came out, a lot of people thought Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 was the end of the series, the “Part 1” thing being a cute ironic affectation like Leonard Part 6 or when you call a fat guy “Tiny.” But no, Harry Potter is back, and it’s time to watch his whimsical friends who we’ve goofed along with for seven full movies drop dead rapid-fire like background players in a Vietnam movie. Part 1 was all about finding and destroying horcruxes, but Part 2 really ramps it up, following the kids as they… continue finding and destroying horcruxes. Like the film version of your nephew forcing you to watch him rack up Xbox achievements and trophies, but with more crying! We couldn’t be prouder or happier to bring the saga to its conclusion. Much like Dobby the House Elf, we is free! And also like Dobby, we is dead. Very, very dead. Join Mike, Kevin and Bill for one last hilarious broomstick ride into the ultimate Quidditch bloodbath, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2!
#5 - The Litter Monster
Season 3 - Episode 263 - Aired 1/29/2016
One of the best things about litter used to be its versatility. You could just throw it anywhere! Plus, it encouraged improvisation: If you put your mind to it, anything could be litter! Food scraps, old batteries, syringes, grandpa. Just toss it at the feet of an emotional roadside Indian and be on your way! But then the hippies had to come along, and everyone got all “groovy” this and “let’s not let the rest of the country end up like New Jersey” that. They started by indoctrinating our children with shorts like The Litter Monster, and the next thing we know our children are spouting propaganda like “Let’s paint garbage cans and put them in the park!” and “Dad, can you help us remove the rusty car parts someone dumped on the baseball diamond?” and “What happened to all those rusty car parts you had in the garage that mom’s been hassling you about getting rid of?” The short culminates with the construction of the titular Litter Monster, a hulking abomination that begs passersby to shove their litter into its gaping mouth. It’s like a robotic homeless Cookie Monster with severely lowered dietary standards, and to be honest, we really wish there was one on every street corner in our home town. Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and thousands of pounds of delicious litter for The Litter Monster!
#6 - Icebreaker
Season 1 - Episode 215 - Aired 1/22/2016
It’s obvious what the makers of Icebreaker were going for: Die Hard on Skis. Unfortunately, they weren’t even able to make A Good Day to Die Hard* on Skis. We think they should have gone with making Speed 2: Cruise Control, aka Die Hard on a Boat on Skis. We heard the boat was available. Terrorists have taken over a Vermont ski slope! Why? Who knows! Their motives are extremely unclear. Perhaps they were frustrated by the state’s lack of east to west interstates. Or maybe they were angered by Vermonters' inexplicable preference of Heady Topper over the superior Focal Banger.*** The point is, Sean Astin is the only man who can stop them. Why? We actually know the answer to this one: because that’s how the Die Hard on a ____ format works, dammit! Standing in Sean’s way is B-movie god Bruce Campbell, who evidently really wanted an all expenses paid ski vacation. And when we say “Standing in Sean’s way” we mean it quite figuratively. We are not entirely convinced these two ever actually were on set at the same time. The two trade quips at a bunny slope level that culminates in the most thrilling series of snowboard stunts we’ve seen ever since we tried to play a downloaded ROM of 1080 on a stuttery N64 emulator. Written and directed by David Giancola (Time Chasers) and featuring a memorable performance by Asahi T-shirt Guy from Radical Jack, Icebreaker is one film that will make you say Yippee Ki Yay, Mr. Gamgee!**** *It’s technically the fifth** Die Hard movie. **We know, we prefer to pretend it doesn’t exist either. Besides, how can there be a fifth Die Hard movie when we’re also pretending the fourth one doesn’t exist?) ***Please forgive us, one of our writers moved to Vermont four months ago and these are the only two facts about his new home he has learned in that time. ****I refuse to apologize. What are you going to do, come find me?? I’m in Vermont!!
#7 - Marriage is a Partnership
Season 3 - Episode 260 - Aired 1/8/2016
(1951) Bridget and Mary Jo learn a thing or two about marriage in this short’s frank depiction of bridge games and frosting cakes.
#8 - I Believe in Santa Claus
Season 1 - Episode 214 - Aired 12/22/2015
Ah, Christmas. The stockings are hung. The fire is roaring. Mom and dad have been abducted by an African warlord and their son forces a friend to board a plane to Finland to find them only to be kidnapped by an ogre who forces them into slavery. Chestnuts roasting. You know how it goes! I Believe in Santa Claus starts with our hero, Simon, being locked in a closet by a cruel janitor. Perhaps he was trying to eat pudding without eating his meat, we’re not sure. Anyways, Simon is a bit of a whiner these days because both his parents have been kidnapped while on an aid mission to Africa. Where in Africa you might ask? “Just Africa!” the movie says, and yes, it’s going to be that kind of film. Anyway, you’re probably way ahead of us, but yes, Santa Claus goes on a covert mission to rescue the hostages with the aid of a fairy princess and a couple of automatic weapon toting child soldiers. Kris Kringle nearly gets devoured by an alligator, Simon nearly gets devoured by the ogre, and there’s probably a scene on the cutting room floor where Blitzen nearly gets devoured by Comet and Cupid. Because yet again, it’s that kind of film. Add in some of the most maddening Christmas earworms this side of “Dogs Barking Jingle Bells”, and you’ve got yourself a brand new RiffTrax Christmas classic that’s destined to join the ranks of Stinky the Skunk, Droppo, Accordion Wolf, The Small Tree of No Account, Lupita, the husky kid from Magic Christmas Tree, Rudolph’s foxy mama, Norman Spear Jr, and the Ice Cream Bunny himself. Stop all your crying business and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the madness that is I Believe in Santa Claus.
#9 - Have a Mary Jo Christmas and a Bridget New Year
Season 3 - Episode 259 - Aired 12/11/2015
It’s very special RiffTrax special, featuring yourses trulies (Mary Jo and Bridget), and some very special guest stars! So gather ‘round your technology device, pour yourself a hot toddy, gather the kiddos and granddad and Nana too, and make this special a special part of your happy holidays.
#10 - A Day of Thanksgiving
Season 3 - Episode 258 - Aired 11/25/2015
(1951) When an Hour of Thanksgiving is not enough, but a Week of Thanksgiving is simply too much, may we suggest A Day of Thanksgiving? Gather ‘round the Thanksgiving table for a 1950s feast from Young America Films. Fans of Young America Films know that, despite being heavily anti-Commie, they somehow feel like the grayest, bleakest Soviet shorts ever made. So, perfect for the holidays! Wash down that weird cranberry salad nobody actually likes with a tall glass of fear, shame, and forced conformity! The short focuses on a family that, despite living in a large, well-furnished house, cannot afford a turkey for Thanksgiving. Did turkeys cost more than houses in the 50s? The only reasonable conclusion is: yes. The family patriarch makes everyone list all the things they’re thankful for, to take their minds off his failure as a provider. And it’s a sweet list: family, shelter, security… and freedom from shadowy “political gangsters dragging people off to jail.” That’s right, political gangsters. Man, if I had a dime for every Thanksgiving that got ruined by some of those political gangsters showing up and making a muck of things. They don’t even bring wine!
#11 - Dining Together
Season 3 - Episode 257 - Aired 11/25/2015
It’s being called “Literally the most anticipated sequel that is coming out in the last two months of 2015.” Fans have bought their tickets months in advance, recreated the trailers in Lego, and scanned the original material for clues about what the plot to this one might contain. We of course refer to Dining Together, sequel to the somewhat obscure 2009 RiffTrax short Playing Together. What did you think we were talking about? All your favorite characters are back: Duncan, Stickman*, and soul-crushing 50s greyness and blandness. It’s Thanksgiving day, and guests that make Peppermint Patty look generous and gracious are starting to arrive. Fortunately, there’s still time for the kids to learn valuable lessons about politeness such as “Keep the profanity to a minimum when Tony Romo ruins your three team tease in the first game of the day” and “Don’t comment that it looks like a badger could carve the turkey better than father.”
#12 - Drawback Productions: Meltdown
Season 4 - Episode 834 - Aired 11/25/2015
Dru and Megan provide commentary to this beyond so-bad-it’s-good, well into the so-bad-it’s-life-altering range masterpiece from 2012. Chris Martin (not the one from Coldplay) stars as federal agent John Thomas who goes undercover in the suburban mafia only to blow his cover immediately. For the rest of the movie, he just runs around shooting people. Robert Z’dar and Joe Estevez co-star.
#13 - The Wizard
Season 1 - Episode 213 - Aired 11/20/2015
“I love the Power Glove… it’s so bad.” This iconic movie quote is often misattributed to Lawrence of Arabia, but in fact it’s from our newest VOD, The Wizard! Before there was a terrible movie about the Super Mario Bros., there was a terrible movie about PLAYING Super Mario Bros. Fred Savage’s little brother is a savant video game player, and the two of them run off to California so he can compete in Video Armageddon, that big famous video game contest like they had in the 80s, remember those? Sure, we all remember those, and they definitely happened all the time. They’re joined by a plucky little girl who’s just putting up with all this until she can grow up to sing in the indie rock band Rilo Kiley (no, really!). The kids are pursued by a child bounty hunter, again, something that might sound fake but is definitely just as real as Video Armageddon. To add to the playful Nintendo fun, the child bounty hunter looks like, well, a sexual predator. And at one point he is even accused of inappropriate touching. No, really! All this happens in The Wizard! The little kid Nintendo movie! And we haven’t even scraped the surface of the unnecessarily complex and bleak family drama at the center of this movie that is, primarily, a commercial for Nintendo and Nintendo-based products. There’s almost too much to love here. Dust off your NES Advantage, blow in the cartridge even though we all know that doesn’t do anything, and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for a walk down “not how you remember it from childhood” memory lane with The Wizard!
#14 - Total Riff Off: Brazilian Bigfoot
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/13/2015
Richard Terry is back, and the soup is thicker and browner than ever! Shrugging off the embarrassments of the Demon Bat turning out to be a Regular Bat and the fearsome Naga river monster turning out to be just some ripples on the water caused by his cameraman taking a leak, Richard unbuttons half his shirt buttons, flips his camera to night vision mode, and heads to Brazil! This time he’s in search of the Mapinguari, aka the Brazilian Bigfoot, aka, Probably A Slightly Larger Than Average Coyote or Something. It’s been terrorizing villagers. They will not leave their huts for fear it might thrust a camera in their face and demand they sign a release form—Oh wait, that’s just Richard. The Mapinguari on the other hand is constantly pretending he’s in danger and making perfectly normal situations seem fraught with peril—Sorry, sorry, that’s Richard again too. Along the road to eventual disappointment and inevitable humiliation, Richard will scoot along a log, drug an anteater, and get drenched by a waterfall. It may be his most successful monster hunt yet. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for another baffling snipe hunt with our favorite intrepid explorer in Total Riff Off Episode 6: Brazilian Bigfoot!
#15 - The Night Dracula Saved the World
Season 1 - Episode 212 - Aired 10/29/2015
When you review the list of reasons that the Star Wars Holiday Special was such a colossal failure, very rarely does “Not enough Judd Hirsch” come up. “Contains no Judd Hirsch” was actually one of the few things critics cited as a positive for the SWHS. In fact, rumor has it that George Lucas got the entire special green-lit solely by pitching an hour of television that Judd Hirsch would not appear in. So while The Night that Dracula Saved the World does not have Harvey Korman, or crappy animation, or an elderly wookie pleasuring itself, it does have Judd Hirsch. Please do not go into this special expecting not to see Judd Hirsch. You have been given fair warning. Judd Hirsch plays Dracula, who is facing a major dilemma: he’s played by Judd Hirsch. Also, The Witch is refusing to fly over the moon, something that is totally a thing that everyone associates with Halloween. If she doesn’t fly over the moon, Halloween will be cancelled (it was already on thin ice after a Halloween special starring Judd Hirsch aired.) Fortunately for Dracula, he’s got a lineup of monsters to help him, none of whom are played by Judd Hirsch. If you’re on a box of seasonally available General Mills marshmallow cereal, you’re in this special: Frankenstein's monster, The Wolfman, The Mummy, even MST3K's own Brain Guy makes an inexplicable appearance. Together they must stop The Witch from doing the unthinkable and ruining Halloween, (though everyone probably would have blamed it on Judd Hirsch anyway.) Thrill and chill at how low the standards were for winning an Emmy in the 70s! (Seriously. It won one.) The Night that Dracula Saved the World is probably the second worst holiday special of all time, but then again, see it and decide for yourself. At least the Star Wars Holiday Special had those funny old commercials. Happy Halloween!
#16 - The Snob
Season 3 - Episode 254 - Aired 10/20/2015
The Snob is a horror/science fiction film about an alien amoeba that emerges from a meteorite which has crashed from outer space in the small town of Downington, Pennsylvania. The amorphous globule consumes the locals, growing ever larger. Nope, hang on, I'm thinking of the The Blob. In The Snob, Sarah is a high school student who wreaks horror and despair in her small town by studying too much. She is regarded as high-falutin' and snooty because she reads. Worry not - all Sarah needs to reign in the depravity is friends!
#17 - Samurai Cop
Season 1 - Episode 219 - Aired 3/25/2016
The Samurai Cop is here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and he’s already infringed on enough movies and cliches so he’s just going to stop with that introduction right there. Yes, the cop they call Samurai has travelled to Los Angeles from a faraway land they call San Diego. Because it would just make no sense to have the movie take place in San Diego, or to have the cop be from LA to start with. Or, y’know, Japan. Why do they need the Samurai Cop in town? Because frankly, the chief was telling everybody how absurd his haircut was, and nobody would believe him, so he said “Look, I’ll have him come to town and you can see this damn thing for yourselves.” It is a work of art. If it seems like there’s a serious threat at any point in time, it’s going to leap off his head and start kicking ass on its own. Samurai Cop is assigned a partner, whose main job appears to be mugging to the camera as the Samurai Cop punches people. Together, they’ve got to bust a gang whose stated goal is putting someone’s head on their piano. These villains are lead by Robert Z’dar, who will hopefully reinforce any piano he plans to put his own prodigious cranium on top of. Decapitations, explosions, poorly subbed in stunt doubles, mangled dialogue, prominent lion heads, and unfortunate banana hammocks abound in this extremely eighties-y nineties movie. Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and Alfonso Rafael Federico Sebastian for Samurai Cop!
#18 - Oh, Boy! Babies!
Season 3 - Episode 253 - Aired 10/9/2015
Oh, Boy! Babies! brings you face to face with feathered hair, over tweezed eyebrows and corduroy blazers as it seeks to answer the question: Are boys capable of babysitting? Weep with Bridget and Mary Jo as this simple question divides families, ruins friendships and ultimately cracks the very foundation of a prestigious east coast prep school. Rejoice with them as they celebrate the courageous teachers who dared to make a difference by implementing an afterschool program. Laugh with them as babies pee on people. Oh, Boy! Babies! will shatter all your sexist ideas about babysitting!
#19 - RiffTrax Live: Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny
Season 6 - Episode 19 - Aired 12/3/2015
“What a story!” This was the original studio tagline for Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. You will have to ignore, of course, that Santa & the Ice Cream Bunny barely contains a story, let alone a coherent thought. But you’ll be willing to let this pass, since it does contain pigs, gorilla suits, paper mache birds, soiled Santa costumes, pervy moles and, of course, an Ice Cream Bunny. What is an Ice Cream Bunny? We’re not quite sure, and the movie doesn’t really bother to explain. Evidently he has a fire truck with an air raid siren, and lives at a place called Pirates World. We also know that we are strongly in favor of ceding all power to it and letting it enact whatever foul agenda it desires, just as long as it lets us take a ride through Pirates World in that sweet, sweet fire truck. It’s one of the strangest and most baffling pieces of outsider art that Mike, Kevin and Bill have ever riffed. Please join us in experiencing: Santa & the Ice Cream Bunny.
#20 - RiffTrax Live: Miami Connection
Season 6 - Episode 18 - Aired 10/1/2015
The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song "Against the Ninja," Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world's smelliest underbelly. It'll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the "stupid cocaine"... and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!! If you put everything about the 80s in a blender, then somehow ran the resulting smoothie through a translator that only speaks languages from another dimension, what you’d wind up with still wouldn't be half as hilarious, weird, and oddly charming as Miami Connection. Featuring a group of motorcycle-riding ninjas as they take on the band Dragon Sound, this one is impossible to explain but also impossible to forget.
#21 - The Prom It's a Pleasure
Season 3 - Episode 252 - Aired 9/28/2015
The Prom: It’s a Pleasure is a Jam Handy production whose very title is lies, all lies! Complete with emotional baggage for Bridget and Mary Jo, this short features the real live actual 1961 America’s Junior Miss and future Newhart star, Mary Frann. Why, did you know prom is the most important social function? And viewers, play along at home, won't you? See if you can spot the product placement!
#22 - Death Promise
Season 1 - Episode 210 - Aired 9/25/2015
It is with glee in our hearts and clumsy 70s karate vengeance on our minds that we present to you the amazing, undefinable Death Promise. So goofy, so full of confused non-actors wandering through their dialogue like kids lost at the mall, and with so much more gentle sincerity than you’d expect in a movie about systematic revenge against a group of evil slumlords. It’s Guy From Harlem meets Kill Bill meets an after-school special about friendship - in other words, we really like it. A boardroom full of comically-dressed, openly-evil New York City rich guys are hassling their slum tenants for reasons that don’t quite get around to becoming clear. Fortunately, their harassment methods don’t go much beyond “empty a box of rats into a building that’s already filled with rats.” But when they kill an old drunk boxer, the old drunk boxer’s son makes a vow, a pledge… oh, what to call it… an oath to demise? A commitment to casualties? Well, however you want to phrase it, he and his surprisingly agreeable friend Speedy work their way through the list of baddies who wronged them. All in pursuit of the main baddie, a shadowy figure who - and we’re not making this up - sits so that you can’t see his face, only his evil hand stroking the evil cat in his lap. Again, this movie is taking itself seriously. Again, we really like it. Settle in for some upbeat revenge with Mike, Kevin, and Bill. We don’t just promise you’ll have a good time: we Death Promise.
#23 - Cindy Goes to a Party
Season 3 - Episode 251 - Aired 9/15/2015
"One is apt to think of Etiquette as being of importance to none but brides or diplomats or persons lately elected to political office. As a matter of fact there is not a single thing we do or say, or choose, or use, or even think, that does not follow (or break) one of the exactions of taste, or tact or ethics, or good manners, or etiquette." -Emily Post Never were these important words taken more seriously than on the birthday party circuit of 1950’s Cedar Rapids Iowa. And NO ONE understood the life giving freedom of these words more than Cindy’s fairy Godmother/ sprite/ demon. Follow Cindy as she faces the humiliation of not being invited to the party with steely resolve. Rejoice with her as she discovers “There had been some mix up” and she really was invited! But most of all Please call for help! Because Cindy’s Godmother/ sprite/demon has an etiquette vendetta against her that only right behavior and total cultural submission can vanquish. Bridget and Mary Jo are your Riffers for Cindy Goes To A Party. A must see for those thinking birthday parties are supposed to be fun.
#24 - Manos: The Hands of Fate
Season 1 - Episode 209 - Aired 9/11/2015
Many years ago the people of El Paso, Texas gave their money to a local fertilizer salesman and said, “Go make us the best horror movie you can make.” The result, "Manos" The Hand of Fate, is an object lesson in why you should never give your money to an El Paso fertilizer salesman. Manos has it all: teens making out, luggage fetching scenes, The Master, Torgo... Did The African Queen have a Torgo? We think not! Did Casablanca have teens making out? It did not! Did The Master have a The Master in it? Okay, perhaps you’ve got us there. Manos is still one of the strangest examples of what one person with no particular talent can accomplish when given a camera, what technically counts as a cast, and a soundtrack that will drive you mad and/or serve as a pretty sweet ringtone. Originally regarded as one of the defining episodes of Mystery Science Theater before becoming one of the most popular RiffTrax Live events of all time, this studio VOD version of "Manos" The Hands of Fate is perfect for anyone who lives in terror of jib shots, live audiences, or Norman.
#25 - Rollergator
Season 1 - Episode 208 - Aired 8/21/2015
If you scooped a pile of goo out of a backed-up gutter, submerged a pair of electrodes into it, fed it a slurry of protein rich nutrients while sending jolts of ever-increasing voltages of electricity through until it demonstrated the most basic signs of what could technically be considered life, then immediately handed the pile of goo a video camera, it is impossible that it would make a worse movie than Rollergator. Why is it so bad? Let’s start with the ultra cliched plot: The talking, purple, almost twelve year old alligator is on the run from the skateboard ninja who is employed by the evil carnival owner. We know, we’ve heard it a million times. But here’s where Rollergator differs from all the other talking animals the 90s gave us. Get this: he’s totally in your face. We’re talking x-treme with a capital X, ‘tude with a capital ‘. Does he rap? Please. You may as well ask if Poochie ever hitchhiked to the fireworks factory. Standing in the way of Rollergator’s goal of endorsing every Blue Razzberry flavored product that 1996 had to offer is Joe Estevez. Joe is the villain, because he merely wants to put Rollergator in a cage, whereas the rest of humanity wants him destroyed in the quickest way possible. Joe thinks people will pay a pretty penny to see Rollergator quip at them. What he doesn’t realize is that nobody will be able to hear Rollergator’s quips because SOME HORRIBLE MUSICIAN IS PLAYING THE SAME AWFUL ACOUSTIC GUITAR RIFF OVER 98% OF THE MOVIE!!! Shot on video without any fancy pants “microphones” or “lights” or “permits to record here”, Rollergator is truly something to behold. We’re not saying this is the worst movie we’ve ever done here at RiffTrax, but that’s only because we aren’t being asked to do so under penalty of perjury. Please join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Rollergator.