The WORST episodes of RiffTrax
Every episode of RiffTrax ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of RiffTrax!
RiffTrax is comedy narration to your favorite movies & TV shows, plus some wonderfully terrible films. Written and performed by the stars of the award-winning TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000, RiffTrax brings the unique humor of "Satellite of Love" MST3K partners Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett to Hollywood's hit movies. Season 1: Official RiffTrax Season 2: RiffTrax Presents Season 3: Shorts Season 4: iRiffs Season 5: Total Riff Off Season 6: RiffTrax Live!
#1 - Manos: The Hands of Fate
Season 1 - Episode 209 - Aired 9/11/2015
Many years ago the people of El Paso, Texas gave their money to a local fertilizer salesman and said, “Go make us the best horror movie you can make.” The result, "Manos" The Hand of Fate, is an object lesson in why you should never give your money to an El Paso fertilizer salesman. Manos has it all: teens making out, luggage fetching scenes, The Master, Torgo... Did The African Queen have a Torgo? We think not! Did Casablanca have teens making out? It did not! Did The Master have a The Master in it? Okay, perhaps you’ve got us there. Manos is still one of the strangest examples of what one person with no particular talent can accomplish when given a camera, what technically counts as a cast, and a soundtrack that will drive you mad and/or serve as a pretty sweet ringtone. Originally regarded as one of the defining episodes of Mystery Science Theater before becoming one of the most popular RiffTrax Live events of all time, this studio VOD version of "Manos" The Hands of Fate is perfect for anyone who lives in terror of jib shots, live audiences, or Norman.
#2 - A Day of Thanksgiving
Season 3 - Episode 258 - Aired 11/25/2015
(1951) When an Hour of Thanksgiving is not enough, but a Week of Thanksgiving is simply too much, may we suggest A Day of Thanksgiving? Gather ‘round the Thanksgiving table for a 1950s feast from Young America Films. Fans of Young America Films know that, despite being heavily anti-Commie, they somehow feel like the grayest, bleakest Soviet shorts ever made. So, perfect for the holidays! Wash down that weird cranberry salad nobody actually likes with a tall glass of fear, shame, and forced conformity! The short focuses on a family that, despite living in a large, well-furnished house, cannot afford a turkey for Thanksgiving. Did turkeys cost more than houses in the 50s? The only reasonable conclusion is: yes. The family patriarch makes everyone list all the things they’re thankful for, to take their minds off his failure as a provider. And it’s a sweet list: family, shelter, security… and freedom from shadowy “political gangsters dragging people off to jail.” That’s right, political gangsters. Man, if I had a dime for every Thanksgiving that got ruined by some of those political gangsters showing up and making a muck of things. They don’t even bring wine!
#3 - Dining Together
Season 3 - Episode 257 - Aired 11/25/2015
It’s being called “Literally the most anticipated sequel that is coming out in the last two months of 2015.” Fans have bought their tickets months in advance, recreated the trailers in Lego, and scanned the original material for clues about what the plot to this one might contain. We of course refer to Dining Together, sequel to the somewhat obscure 2009 RiffTrax short Playing Together. What did you think we were talking about? All your favorite characters are back: Duncan, Stickman*, and soul-crushing 50s greyness and blandness. It’s Thanksgiving day, and guests that make Peppermint Patty look generous and gracious are starting to arrive. Fortunately, there’s still time for the kids to learn valuable lessons about politeness such as “Keep the profanity to a minimum when Tony Romo ruins your three team tease in the first game of the day” and “Don’t comment that it looks like a badger could carve the turkey better than father.”
#4 - Drawback Productions: Meltdown
Season 4 - Episode 834 - Aired 11/25/2015
Dru and Megan provide commentary to this beyond so-bad-it’s-good, well into the so-bad-it’s-life-altering range masterpiece from 2012. Chris Martin (not the one from Coldplay) stars as federal agent John Thomas who goes undercover in the suburban mafia only to blow his cover immediately. For the rest of the movie, he just runs around shooting people. Robert Z’dar and Joe Estevez co-star.
#5 - The Wizard
Season 1 - Episode 213 - Aired 11/20/2015
“I love the Power Glove… it’s so bad.” This iconic movie quote is often misattributed to Lawrence of Arabia, but in fact it’s from our newest VOD, The Wizard! Before there was a terrible movie about the Super Mario Bros., there was a terrible movie about PLAYING Super Mario Bros. Fred Savage’s little brother is a savant video game player, and the two of them run off to California so he can compete in Video Armageddon, that big famous video game contest like they had in the 80s, remember those? Sure, we all remember those, and they definitely happened all the time. They’re joined by a plucky little girl who’s just putting up with all this until she can grow up to sing in the indie rock band Rilo Kiley (no, really!). The kids are pursued by a child bounty hunter, again, something that might sound fake but is definitely just as real as Video Armageddon. To add to the playful Nintendo fun, the child bounty hunter looks like, well, a sexual predator. And at one point he is even accused of inappropriate touching. No, really! All this happens in The Wizard! The little kid Nintendo movie! And we haven’t even scraped the surface of the unnecessarily complex and bleak family drama at the center of this movie that is, primarily, a commercial for Nintendo and Nintendo-based products. There’s almost too much to love here. Dust off your NES Advantage, blow in the cartridge even though we all know that doesn’t do anything, and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for a walk down “not how you remember it from childhood” memory lane with The Wizard!
#6 - Total Riff Off: Brazilian Bigfoot
Season 5 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/13/2015
Richard Terry is back, and the soup is thicker and browner than ever! Shrugging off the embarrassments of the Demon Bat turning out to be a Regular Bat and the fearsome Naga river monster turning out to be just some ripples on the water caused by his cameraman taking a leak, Richard unbuttons half his shirt buttons, flips his camera to night vision mode, and heads to Brazil! This time he’s in search of the Mapinguari, aka the Brazilian Bigfoot, aka, Probably A Slightly Larger Than Average Coyote or Something. It’s been terrorizing villagers. They will not leave their huts for fear it might thrust a camera in their face and demand they sign a release form—Oh wait, that’s just Richard. The Mapinguari on the other hand is constantly pretending he’s in danger and making perfectly normal situations seem fraught with peril—Sorry, sorry, that’s Richard again too. Along the road to eventual disappointment and inevitable humiliation, Richard will scoot along a log, drug an anteater, and get drenched by a waterfall. It may be his most successful monster hunt yet. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for another baffling snipe hunt with our favorite intrepid explorer in Total Riff Off Episode 6: Brazilian Bigfoot!
#7 - The Night Dracula Saved the World
Season 1 - Episode 212 - Aired 10/29/2015
When you review the list of reasons that the Star Wars Holiday Special was such a colossal failure, very rarely does “Not enough Judd Hirsch” come up. “Contains no Judd Hirsch” was actually one of the few things critics cited as a positive for the SWHS. In fact, rumor has it that George Lucas got the entire special green-lit solely by pitching an hour of television that Judd Hirsch would not appear in. So while The Night that Dracula Saved the World does not have Harvey Korman, or crappy animation, or an elderly wookie pleasuring itself, it does have Judd Hirsch. Please do not go into this special expecting not to see Judd Hirsch. You have been given fair warning. Judd Hirsch plays Dracula, who is facing a major dilemma: he’s played by Judd Hirsch. Also, The Witch is refusing to fly over the moon, something that is totally a thing that everyone associates with Halloween. If she doesn’t fly over the moon, Halloween will be cancelled (it was already on thin ice after a Halloween special starring Judd Hirsch aired.) Fortunately for Dracula, he’s got a lineup of monsters to help him, none of whom are played by Judd Hirsch. If you’re on a box of seasonally available General Mills marshmallow cereal, you’re in this special: Frankenstein's monster, The Wolfman, The Mummy, even MST3K's own Brain Guy makes an inexplicable appearance. Together they must stop The Witch from doing the unthinkable and ruining Halloween, (though everyone probably would have blamed it on Judd Hirsch anyway.) Thrill and chill at how low the standards were for winning an Emmy in the 70s! (Seriously. It won one.) The Night that Dracula Saved the World is probably the second worst holiday special of all time, but then again, see it and decide for yourself. At least the Star Wars Holiday Special had those funny old commercials. Happy Halloween!
#8 - The Snob
Season 3 - Episode 254 - Aired 10/20/2015
The Snob is a horror/science fiction film about an alien amoeba that emerges from a meteorite which has crashed from outer space in the small town of Downington, Pennsylvania. The amorphous globule consumes the locals, growing ever larger. Nope, hang on, I'm thinking of the The Blob. In The Snob, Sarah is a high school student who wreaks horror and despair in her small town by studying too much. She is regarded as high-falutin' and snooty because she reads. Worry not - all Sarah needs to reign in the depravity is friends!
#9 - No Retreat, No Surrender
Season 1 - Episode 211 - Aired 10/16/2015
An organized crime syndicate is attempting to muscle out all the karate dojos in the country with the aid of deadly Russian black belt, and it’s up to the new kid in town and his breakdancing sidekick to defeat them, if the local bully doesn’t stop him first! Here is a test: at which point in the above sentence did you realize the film was a product of the 80s? A. After “Karate Dojos” B. After “Deadly Russian” C. After “Breakdancing sidekick” D. I actually thought it was a Sofia Coppola film from the late 2000s If you answered A, B, or C, then congratulations! Your senses have been honed to detect the fine subtleties of 80s cheese and you are going to enjoy the hell out of No Retreat, No Surrender. “Borrowing” the jingoism of Rocky IV and pretty much everything else from The Karate Kid, it adds the baffling twist of having our hero learn karate from the ghost of Bruce Lee. It is the second most unrealistic thing in the movie after having Jean Claude Van Damme portray a Russian. Co-starring other 80s staples such as the fat guy who is always eating (otherwise viewers might not have noticed that he is fat) and training montages that out-parody every training montage parody you’ve ever seen, No Retreat, No Surrenderwill get you so pumped up you’ll be tempted to forgive Van Damme for Street Fighter. All that’s missing is a ponytailed, toxic waste dumping millionaire to deem it: “Perfect…”
#10 - Oh, Boy! Babies!
Season 3 - Episode 253 - Aired 10/9/2015
Oh, Boy! Babies! brings you face to face with feathered hair, over tweezed eyebrows and corduroy blazers as it seeks to answer the question: Are boys capable of babysitting? Weep with Bridget and Mary Jo as this simple question divides families, ruins friendships and ultimately cracks the very foundation of a prestigious east coast prep school. Rejoice with them as they celebrate the courageous teachers who dared to make a difference by implementing an afterschool program. Laugh with them as babies pee on people. Oh, Boy! Babies! will shatter all your sexist ideas about babysitting!
#11 - RiffTrax Live: Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny
Season 6 - Episode 18 - Aired 12/3/2015
“What a story!” This was the original studio tagline for Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. You will have to ignore, of course, that Santa & the Ice Cream Bunny barely contains a story, let alone a coherent thought. But you’ll be willing to let this pass, since it does contain pigs, gorilla suits, paper mache birds, soiled Santa costumes, pervy moles and, of course, an Ice Cream Bunny. What is an Ice Cream Bunny? We’re not quite sure, and the movie doesn’t really bother to explain. Evidently he has a fire truck with an air raid siren, and lives at a place called Pirates World. We also know that we are strongly in favor of ceding all power to it and letting it enact whatever foul agenda it desires, just as long as it lets us take a ride through Pirates World in that sweet, sweet fire truck. It’s one of the strangest and most baffling pieces of outsider art that Mike, Kevin and Bill have ever riffed. Please join us in experiencing: Santa & the Ice Cream Bunny.
#12 - RiffTrax Live: Miami Connection
Season 6 - Episode 17 - Aired 10/1/2015
The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song "Against the Ninja," Mark (taekwondo master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world's smelliest underbelly. It'll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sound can't stop until they've completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the "stupid cocaine"... and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!! If you put everything about the 80s in a blender, then somehow ran the resulting smoothie through a translator that only speaks languages from another dimension, what you’d wind up with still wouldn't be half as hilarious, weird, and oddly charming as Miami Connection. Featuring a group of motorcycle-riding ninjas as they take on the band Dragon Sound, this one is impossible to explain but also impossible to forget.
#13 - The Prom It's a Pleasure
Season 3 - Episode 252 - Aired 9/28/2015
The Prom: It’s a Pleasure is a Jam Handy production whose very title is lies, all lies! Complete with emotional baggage for Bridget and Mary Jo, this short features the real live actual 1961 America’s Junior Miss and future Newhart star, Mary Frann. Why, did you know prom is the most important social function? And viewers, play along at home, won't you? See if you can spot the product placement!
#14 - Death Promise
Season 1 - Episode 210 - Aired 9/25/2015
It is with glee in our hearts and clumsy 70s karate vengeance on our minds that we present to you the amazing, undefinable Death Promise. So goofy, so full of confused non-actors wandering through their dialogue like kids lost at the mall, and with so much more gentle sincerity than you’d expect in a movie about systematic revenge against a group of evil slumlords. It’s Guy From Harlem meets Kill Bill meets an after-school special about friendship - in other words, we really like it. A boardroom full of comically-dressed, openly-evil New York City rich guys are hassling their slum tenants for reasons that don’t quite get around to becoming clear. Fortunately, their harassment methods don’t go much beyond “empty a box of rats into a building that’s already filled with rats.” But when they kill an old drunk boxer, the old drunk boxer’s son makes a vow, a pledge… oh, what to call it… an oath to demise? A commitment to casualties? Well, however you want to phrase it, he and his surprisingly agreeable friend Speedy work their way through the list of baddies who wronged them. All in pursuit of the main baddie, a shadowy figure who - and we’re not making this up - sits so that you can’t see his face, only his evil hand stroking the evil cat in his lap. Again, this movie is taking itself seriously. Again, we really like it. Settle in for some upbeat revenge with Mike, Kevin, and Bill. We don’t just promise you’ll have a good time: we Death Promise.
#15 - Cindy Goes to a Party
Season 3 - Episode 251 - Aired 9/15/2015
"One is apt to think of Etiquette as being of importance to none but brides or diplomats or persons lately elected to political office. As a matter of fact there is not a single thing we do or say, or choose, or use, or even think, that does not follow (or break) one of the exactions of taste, or tact or ethics, or good manners, or etiquette." -Emily Post Never were these important words taken more seriously than on the birthday party circuit of 1950’s Cedar Rapids Iowa. And NO ONE understood the life giving freedom of these words more than Cindy’s fairy Godmother/ sprite/ demon. Follow Cindy as she faces the humiliation of not being invited to the party with steely resolve. Rejoice with her as she discovers “There had been some mix up” and she really was invited! But most of all Please call for help! Because Cindy’s Godmother/ sprite/demon has an etiquette vendetta against her that only right behavior and total cultural submission can vanquish. Bridget and Mary Jo are your Riffers for Cindy Goes To A Party. A must see for those thinking birthday parties are supposed to be fun.
#16 - Have a Mary Jo Christmas and a Bridget New Year
Season 3 - Episode 259 - Aired 12/11/2015
It’s very special RiffTrax special, featuring yourses trulies (Mary Jo and Bridget), and some very special guest stars! So gather ‘round your technology device, pour yourself a hot toddy, gather the kiddos and granddad and Nana too, and make this special a special part of your happy holidays.
#17 - Rollergator
Season 1 - Episode 208 - Aired 8/21/2015
If you scooped a pile of goo out of a backed-up gutter, submerged a pair of electrodes into it, fed it a slurry of protein rich nutrients while sending jolts of ever-increasing voltages of electricity through until it demonstrated the most basic signs of what could technically be considered life, then immediately handed the pile of goo a video camera, it is impossible that it would make a worse movie than Rollergator. Why is it so bad? Let’s start with the ultra cliched plot: The talking, purple, almost twelve year old alligator is on the run from the skateboard ninja who is employed by the evil carnival owner. We know, we’ve heard it a million times. But here’s where Rollergator differs from all the other talking animals the 90s gave us. Get this: he’s totally in your face. We’re talking x-treme with a capital X, ‘tude with a capital ‘. Does he rap? Please. You may as well ask if Poochie ever hitchhiked to the fireworks factory. Standing in the way of Rollergator’s goal of endorsing every Blue Razzberry flavored product that 1996 had to offer is Joe Estevez. Joe is the villain, because he merely wants to put Rollergator in a cage, whereas the rest of humanity wants him destroyed in the quickest way possible. Joe thinks people will pay a pretty penny to see Rollergator quip at them. What he doesn’t realize is that nobody will be able to hear Rollergator’s quips because SOME HORRIBLE MUSICIAN IS PLAYING THE SAME AWFUL ACOUSTIC GUITAR RIFF OVER 98% OF THE MOVIE!!! Shot on video without any fancy pants “microphones” or “lights” or “permits to record here”, Rollergator is truly something to behold. We’re not saying this is the worst movie we’ve ever done here at RiffTrax, but that’s only because we aren’t being asked to do so under penalty of perjury. Please join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Rollergator.
#18 - The One Man Band: Legion
Season 4 - Episode 833 - Aired 10/31/2011
A movie where God is the bad guy. In most circumstances, this would lead to cries of sacrilege; in the case of Legion, all it led to was cries for money back. So utterly brainless, pointless, and idiotic, you'd be too busy wondering how this got greenlit in the first place to be offended. Thankfully, for those willing to sit through this, the One Man Band steps up and gives the movie the riffing it has long since deserved...and it only came out in 2010, for Pete's sake. God (who lives comfortably on his base on the moon, according to every establishing shot) has decided humanity has been rude to each other for quite long enough, and has decided to wipe out humanity the way the devil has for years: by having his angels possess them and run around tearing apart anyone they see (a plan that seems utterly foolproof when weighed against earthquakes, floods, meteor showers, and possessing the holders of the world's nuclear launch codes, doesn't it). Paul Bettany is Michael the archangel (and thoroughly British), who has willingly rebelled against this plan because he still believes in humanity. And how does it show it? By holing up in the dirtiest desert diner he can find and protect the unborn child of Charlie the Waitress. Can they hold out against the hordes long enough for the child to be born? Will Dennis Quaid take his paycheck and go home? Why is Charlie's boyfriend named Jeep? Can Doug Jones' career survive his 30-second appearance as a creepy ice cream salesman? Will somebody even more British than Paul Bettany show up and cause trouble? And really, the boyfriend's name is Jeep?
#19 - The Magic Sword
Season 1 - Episode 207 - Aired 8/14/2015
Meet George. He’s twenty, unemployed, lives at home, and spends his free time using a magic pool to spy on nude women while they are taking baths. If the movie were taking place in present times, George probably would have already called you something horrible in a comment section today. But somehow he is the hero of our story. Standing in George’s way is the evil wizard Lodac, who intends to feed the Princess to his pet dragon. After confirming that she will not be nude when she is fed to the dragon, George decides to rescue her. Fortunately, he has an ace up his sleeve: the birthday presents that his mommy gave him. At this point we should acknowledge that George is not exactly Liam Neeson in Taken. These presents include some magic armor, a magic horse, and yes, a magic sword. The armor filed a grievance against the producers when the movie title was announced, while the horse merely continued filling his dung sack. Along the way, Jack, er, Arthur, er, Jon Snow, er, GEORGE is helped by a band of merry knights, all of whom seem to be participating in a “who can do the worst accent” contest. (SPOILER: The Irish guy wins.) They also encounter an ogre, a hag, elves, and pretty much everything else that you can find on the “List of Fantasy Clichés” Wikipedia page. Spells will be cast! Heroes will be born! Bones will be seized! Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and a horse that may or may not be magical, we don’t know since the title doesn’t address it, for The Magic Sword!
#20 - Naturally a Girl
Season 3 - Episode 250 - Aired 8/7/2015
The sole plot keyword on IMDb about Naturally A Girl is “menstruation.” But Bridget and Mary Jo have plenty to add to this short health education film that tastefully and progressively explains the beauty of being a woman -- even boys are interviewed for their take on the matter. Hey, no matter who you are or how you identify, you’ll get lots of tips for having your period or someone else’s period!
#21 - Megaforce
Season 1 - Episode 206 - Aired 7/31/2015
1982. The decade of the action hero was underway. Within years, catchphrase-mumbling sentient biceps like Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and Guttenburg would come to dominate the cinemas. Audiences hungered for mayhem, bloodshed, and for a very brief period of time, Billy Zabka. What they got instead was Megaforce. Named “Movie of the Year” by critics from a diverse array of publications including “Upsetting Jumpsuit Enthusiast,” “Dweeby Dirtbike Review,” and “Our Memories are Severely Clouded by Nostalgia Monthly,” Megaforce made film history by giving lead character Barry Bostwick both a funny headband and a funny hairstyle. They would prove to be the film’s most enduring legacy. Some viewers may criticize its paper-thin plot, tedious action sequences of no consequence, and overall cheap feel despite having a shockingly high budget for the era. To this we respond: funny headband and funny hairstyle. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill (who do not) for the oft-requested RiffTrax of Megaforce!
#22 - Toast and Rice: Silent Night, Bloody Night
Season 4 - Episode 831 - Aired 7/25/2015
John Caradine and refuges from Andy Warhol's factor put out a horror movie that's about as scary as the first four hours of "Sleep."
#23 - Consuming Women
Season 3 - Episode 249 - Aired 7/23/2015
Today’s Woman. She buys stuff. She buys stuff in a groovy way. If more merchants knew this simple fact then they would understand that they should sell things to woman. This short film teaches them that YES, women are in fact consumers and can, by law, be sold things they want to buy.
#24 - The Relaxed Wife
Season 3 - Episode 248 - Aired 7/23/2015
Bridget and Mary Jo do their very best to go limp all over by flip flopping their hands and drinking coffee. Sit back and relax as they Riff this important message from the fine folks at Pfizer’s.
#25 - Stone Cold
Season 1 - Episode 204 - Aired 7/9/2015
Stone Cold tells the story of John Cold, a renegade cop played by failed NFL player Brian Bosworth, whose most notable football accomplishment was having a bad haircut. We’re just kidding of course. The character’s name is John Stone. Otherwise that first sentence would be ridiculous. When the FBI wants to bust a notorious biker gang by sending in an undercover agent, there’s only one choice: John Stone, who is sure to blend in since he walks around with what looks to be a piece of roadkill that got run over by a bleach truck glued to his head. Inside the gang he meets bikers with names like Ice, Gut, Chains, AWOL, Beetle, Sarge, General Halftrack, and Miss Buxley. At first everything is going great, but then it turns out that the murderous, drug-dealing nazis are actually kind of a bunch of dicks. So Stone is forced to take them out the only way he knows out: by maximizing civilian casualties and property damage. Despite Boz not being an actor, or even able to tackle Bo Jackson, Stone Cold turned out spectacular. Like, “launching an unmanned motorcycle into a helicopter to bring it down on the courthouse steps” spectacular. Stone Cold is like if you wadded up all the Fast & Furious movies into one gelatinous ball, replaced all the crap about "family" with maniacs who shoot beer cans off each others heads with machine guns, and then fired it out of a shark you’d somehow transformed into a bazooka. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for a RiffTrax that’s so 80s, they legally couldn’t put it out until the 90s!