The WORST episodes of RiffTrax
Every episode of RiffTrax ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of RiffTrax!
RiffTrax is comedy narration to your favorite movies & TV shows, plus some wonderfully terrible films. Written and performed by the stars of the award-winning TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000, RiffTrax brings the unique humor of "Satellite of Love" MST3K partners Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett to Hollywood's hit movies. Season 1: Official RiffTrax Season 2: RiffTrax Presents Season 3: Shorts Season 4: iRiffs Season 5: Total Riff Off Season 6: RiffTrax Live!
#1 - Game of Thrones: Season 1 Episode 1
Season 1 - Episode 224 - Aired 6/2/2016
Long before winter was coming, winter was… well, still coming. We’re taking it all the way back to the first episode of Game of Thrones! To a simpler time before [spoiler alert] killed [spoiler alert] and [spoiler alert] betrayed [spoiler alert] and [spoiler alert] severed [spoiler alert]'s [spoiler alert]. A time of direwolves, imps, and gratuitous nudity that would be screen-capped throughout the realm. The challenge begins: If we riff every episode before George RR finishes the next book, he has to buy us all our own Unsullied! Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the premiere episode of Game of Thrones!
#2 - RiffTrax Live: Carnival of Souls
Season 6 - Episode 22 - Aired 10/27/2016
Rifftrax Live: Carnival of Souls! Mike, Bill, and Kevin riffed this spooky midnight-movie cult classic live in Nashville, and now it's available for you to download or stream in Anywhere-Ville! When young Mary survives a horrible car crash, she tries to start her life over with a new church organist job in a small Utah town, as one does. But along the way she’s haunted by a gaunt pale figure in a nice suit who leads her to an abandoned old pavilion on the shores of the Great Salt Lake. Soon Mary doesn’t know if she’s awake or dreaming, alive or dead, which makes her really dull at parties. Fans of Rifftrax Live: Night of the Living Dead will love this one. Weird, creepy and very silly, our live riff of Carnival of Souls is not to be missed! The show also includes live riffs of TWO hilarious shorts. The Dirt Witch, probably one of the top films ever made about witch cleanliness. And the unforgettable Masks of Grass, a disturbing trash-crafting follow-up to the Rifftrax classic, At Your Fingertips: Grasses!
#3 - The Walking Dead: Season 1 Episode 1
Season 1 - Episode 230 - Aired 10/21/2016
You asked for it, now it’s here: the relentless, all-devouring horde that is our riff of The Walking Dead! This is a riff of the very first episode. It’s a good time for fans of the show to revisit, as the new season is just about to start, and 3 or 4 more prequels and spinoff series are presumably being prepared. And for non-fans, it’s a good time to watch for the first time and wonder why all those fans are such fans! Unlike other zombie stuff you’ve seen, the zombies in The Walking Dead… hmm. Uh… well, they walk. They’re dead. There’s some kind of virus, probably. Oh, someone wakes from a coma to discover the world has changed, that’s new, right? No? That’s also not new? Hm. Well there is a lengthy discussion of why women don’t turn off light switches at the beginning of the episode, that part’s probably new, at least! Pick up a 2X4 with a nail in it, boil that copy of the Zombie Survival Guide you never actually read for stew, and shut yourself inside with Mike, Kevin, and Bill as we all try to survive The Walking Dead!
#4 - Astro-Zombies
Season 1 - Episode 229 - Aired 10/11/2016
Dead bodies are disappearing and being reanimated as horrible undead ghouls! Who could be responsible? The undercover Air Force investigator? The burlesque dancer? The local mad scientist who has sworn revenge on a society that has forsaken him and even has his own personal Igor? Uh, probably the last one. Why was this even a question? Reuniting Tom “The Kid” Pace with his Girl in Gold Boots director Ted V. Mikels, Astro-Zombies are neither zombies nor the dog from The Jetsons. The film also stars John Carradine, who aged approximately 92 years in the 28 years between The Grapes of Wrath and this movie. Astro-Zombies is the type of schlockfest that will have you gasping “Wait, how long has this lab scene been going on? They just showed the assistant turning that dial. Wait, now they’re showing it again??”
#5 - Nobody Tells Me What to Do!
Season 3 - Episode 275 - Aired 9/30/2016
Nobody Tells Me What To Do! is a film about peer pressure felt and applied, surrendered to, and defeated. A tale of triumph not to be missed. The story focuses on Zach, a quitter who quits everything but whose charm and charisma holds sway over an entire sophomore class and Gary, the hard working everyman who wears his baseball uniform to school. Set on a typical 1980’s day at a typical 1980’s mall, Zach and his gang apply peer pressure to Gary to enlist him in an evening of larceny. Meanwhile, his beautiful girlfriend Carrie bullies the popular girls (and Donna) into shoplifting at Cleo’s boutique. Sounds like a typical morality film you watch when there's a substitute teacher, right? Exactly!
#6 - Flash That Smile
Season 3 - Episode 274 - Aired 9/15/2016
The American Dental Association advises all Americans to Flash That Smile. They are confident that by doing so you will reach your goals, touch the sky and be a star! Be advised that it is VERY helpful to be a super foxy blonde with a rockin bod. If that is not available try at the very least to be a fly B-Boy with fresh moves. Floss your way to fun as Bridget and Mary Jo pull on their neon spandex and take you on a 15 minute oral hygiene adventure. Go ahead, Flash That Smile! Show the world world that despite constant nagging from your mother you never once wore your retainer.
#7 - Road House: Three-Riffer Edition
Season 1 - Episode 228 - Aired 9/9/2016
This is it – the best movie ever made about a world-famous bouncer and his epic struggle with the evil owner of the local J.C. Penney. Patrick Swayze is at his most shirtless as Dalton, a bouncer who is as comfortable quoting Zen aphorisms as he is kicking drunken men in the head. The incomparable Sam Elliot is hilarious as Swayze's grizzled but lovable mentor, growling out lines like "I'll sleep when I'm dead," and running his weathered hand through his long, gray, greasy hair. And Kevin Tighe (of Lost) as the owner of the titular roadhouse delivers one of the strangest performances ever committed to film. 100% new riffs with all three riffers
#8 - RiffTrax Live: Mothra
Season 6 - Episode 21 - Aired 8/18/2016
The guys who make movies funny, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, bring their comedy chops back to the big screen when they take on one of most beloved (and bizarre!) of the Japanese monster classics, 1961's Mothra. Mothra tells the story of a group of explorers who travel to a remote island, kidnap two tiny women, thereby inciting the wrath of a giant larvae which then swims the ocean, cocoons itself in downtown Tokyo, emerges as the titular Mothra and destroys everything in its path.
#9 - Ruby
Season 1 - Episode 227 - Aired 8/19/2016
Southern desperation, B-movie drive-in theaters, and the vengeance of the angry dead all come together in Ruby, honestly one of the weirdest things we’ve found in a long career of finding weird things. Ruby is a failed performer hanging on to her glory days, Baby Jane style (hey, whatever happened to her?). She also happened to help some gangsters kill the love of her life in a swamp 16 years ago this very night, but we’re sure that won’t come back to haunt her or anything. Now she and her pal, Stuart Whitman (of Night of the Lepus fame!), run a seedy theater and are sort of just generally professionally seedy, all the time. Everything’s great - well, as great as it can be running a drive-in next to a Florida swamp - until people start dying in spooky, albeit comical ways. Ruby is played by Piper Laurie, aka Carrie’s mom in Carrie, and she brings that same low-key subtle energy to this—we’re kidding, she shrieks and chews all the scenery and it’s great. The movie’s like somebody wrung out a filthy sponge all over a Tennessee Williams play, then added a heavy splash of The Exorcist. Oh, and there’s some Norman Bates stuff going on too! Ruby’s got it all, baby! Don’t miss it.
#10 - Girls are Better than Ever
Season 3 - Episode 272 - Aired 7/29/2016
We here at The American Dairy Association have teamed up with the President's Council On Physical Fitness AND The Lifetime Sports Foundation to form a girl empowerment complex that will change the world! Collectively we wholeheartedly agree that Girls Are Better Than Ever! But we do have a few recommendations: Some girls need to eat more cheese and play tennis, others should eat less of everything and ride a bike. Some girls would do best to not exist at all or at the very least go bowling. Across the board they all need to stop sitting on the sidelines and try their very hardest to be a pleasure to look at. Other than that Girls Are Better Than Ever!
#11 - Attack From Space
Season 1 - Episode 226 - Aired 7/22/2016
“Oh look, honey, we got something from Space!” “That’s nice, open it, what is it?” “Ugh, looks like it’s another stupid Attack.” “You know, I’ve just about had it with Space.” Attack from Space! Several Japanese sci-fi movies from the 50s, conveniently and nonsensically edited and repackaged into one American TV movie in the 60s. The system works! The aliens of the Emerald Planet, who are basically piles of shoeboxes wrapped in tin foil sitting at a table in space, are worried about their enemies the Sapphireans attacking Earth and taking over the whole dang universe. That’s right, Emeralds vs. Sapphires, there really aren’t enough gemstone based feuds in modern sci-fi. So naturally the Emerald guys summon Starman, a pudgy man in a tight, no-detail-spared unitard with a goofy antenna and a couple of guns. Not laser guns, just regular normal guns, for shooting people. Science fiction! Will Starman defeat the Sapphireans and save the universe? Can he destroy their Death Star? Do they really have a thing called the Death Star? Yes, they really do! Strap on your head-antenna and buckle your space diaper, it’s time to join Mike, Kevin and Bill for an Attack from Space!
#12 - Duties of a Secretary
Season 3 - Episode 271 - Aired 7/15/2016
Welcome to a black and white nightmare of typing, filing, dictation, and interpersonal skills. This short film graphically depicts the harrowing journey of Miss Hayes, fresh out of secretarial school and in her first job working for a real estate broker. Miss Hayes thought she was prepared… then the unimaginable happens. (Bring a barf bag.)
#13 - RiffTrax Live: MST3K Reunion Show
Season 6 - Episode 20 - Aired 6/28/2016
The RiffTrax trio of Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett are joined on stage by their MST3K colleagues at the State Theatre in Minneapolis to bring it back to their roots in an MST3K cast reunion the likes of which have never been seen before! Joining the guys are their old cohorts Frank Conniff (TV's Frank), Trace Beaulieu (Crow, Dr. Forrestor), Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester), Bridget Nelson (Nuveena, Mr. B), as well as Mystery Science Theater 3000 creator Joel Hodgson, AND the host of the revived MST, Jonah Ray, for a hilarious night of riffing for RiffTrax's 20th Live event. Taking turns in various permutations to riff on a slew of old-timey shorts, the show culminates in a Super Riff-A-Palooza finale with all nine riffers on stage!
#14 - The Magic Shelf
Season 3 - Episode 270 - Aired 7/6/2016
Were it not for the heroic labors of Dr. John T. Dorrance, the world might never have known this short film extolling the various applications of soup. Dorrance, a chemist with the Campbell Soup Company, (anybody else think it’s weird that a soup company had a chemist? No? Just me? Okay) invented condensed soup in 1897 and the broth world has never been the same. So pull up a bowl of soup, settle in, and prepare to be surprised, delighted, and - spoiler alert - shocked. (“Magic” loosely interpreted by filmmakers.)
#15 - The Last Shark
Season 1 - Episode 225 - Aired 6/17/2016
Mamma mia! Some Italian filmmakers decided to rip off Jaws! The Last Shark doesn’t have the acting talent or music score budget of the original, but it does have a substantially higher percentage of actors with mustaches! The town’s annual windsurfing regatta is threatened by the presence of a killer shark, and rather than do the sensible thing, cancel it and refund both the tickets they’ve sold, the town presses onward. The result: extremely hilarious shark attack special effects! Tell Mrs. Kintner to stop mourning and get her slappin' hand ready, it’s The Last Shark!
#16 - Gravity
Season 2 - Episode 34 - Aired 6/9/2016
Don't Let Go! But the thing is - Commander Matt Kowalski (George Clooney), helming his last mission before retirement, does let go! And much much too early as far as Bridget and Mary Jo are concerned. It sorta seems like he wanted to die. Anyway, the point is he leaves Dr. Ryan Stone (Sandra Bullock) on her own with nothing but the keys to a Chinese space ship. And guess what? It’s a stick shift! Kooky chaos ensues! Join Bridget and Mary Jo as they riff their very first Hollywood blockbuster!
#17 - Daredevil: Season 1 Episode 1
Season 1 - Episode 231 - Aired 10/28/2016
Matt Murdock was blinded in a tragic accident so now he’s really good at kicking guys. Evidently the blindness isn’t really much of an issue, because he lives in Hell’s Kitchen, a neighborhood where 95% of the buildings permanently have their lights dimmed to a cinematically noirish level. Murdock will never be able to see another sunset, the faces of his loved ones, or the terrible Ben Affleck version of Daredevil, so things are looking up. He has no choice but to become The Man Without Fear in order to take out The Kingpin, a villain so sinister he does not actually appear in this episode. Instead you get Foggy. Maybe you should blind yourself too. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill as they Marvel at Daredevil! Additional contributors: Conor Lastowka - Senior Writer Sean Thomason - Senior Writer
#18 - Hillbillys in a Haunted House
Season 1 - Episode 223 - Aired 5/20/2016
When three hillbillies on their way to Nashville take a detour and end up in a haunted house, most critics stop reading after that sentence and immediately assign the movie whatever grade is several grades lower than the lowest grade they’ve ever given out. Shamelessly cashing in on the Hillbillly Craze of ‘67, Hillbillys in a Haunted House finally gave country music fans what they had long been demanding: a movie where John Carradine interacts with a sweaty guy in a gorilla suit and is interrupted by the occasional hootenanny. It’s sort of like a country fried Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band with the Bee Gees replaced by the cast of Scooby Doo, but not that dignified. Warning: Contains extreme closeups of Lon Chaney Jr, the name “Ferlin Husky,” and misspelled words in the movie's own title.
#19 - Arachnia
Season 1 - Episode 222 - Aired 5/13/2016
Yes, Arachnia, for people who want a goofy spider movie but find the word Arachnophobia a couple syllables too long. As is required in Edgewood films, it all begins with a light plane crash. (TIP: if you ever find yourself living in the Edgewood film universe, stick to big planes, the little ones will only get you in trouble.) This particular crash brings this particular crew of non-actors to a little remote cabin in a little remote place that claims to be somewhere near Arizona but sure looks a lot like Vermont. (Another tip: if you find yourself living in the Edgewood film universe, no matter where you think you are, you are actually in Vermont.) The macho pilot, sleazy horndog scientist, stoner idiot grad student, smart assistant and some impossibly stupid undergrad eye candy meet up with a grizzly old coot in this convention of not-quite-right stock characters. They’ll wage war against the massive spider monsters who threaten their lives and the very limits of what qualifies as “stop-motion animation.”
#20 - RiffTrax Live: Time Chasers
Season 6 - Episode 19 - Aired 5/5/2016
Time Chasers, the story of a man named Nick who turns his airplane into a time machine with the aid of his beloved Commodore 64. With it he woos the woman of his dreams, despite the fact that he doesn’t own a car and his wardrobe consists only of a pair of jeans and a threadbare t-shirt from Castleton State College. The two run afoul of GenCorp, an evil mega-corporation run out of the mezzanine lobby of a small local library in Rutland, Vermont. Its ruthless CEO, J.K. (you can tell he’s evil because his hair is gelled back) will stop at nothing to steal Nick’s priceless secret.
#21 - Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens
Season 1 - Episode 221 - Aired 4/29/2016
Many Hollywood insiders were baffled when Star Wars, a mildly popular franchise that has never rendered multiple generations of otherwise right-thinking people incapable of critical thought, announced a seventh movie. Over the past two decades, very little had been written on the internet about Star Wars, and almost nobody had expressed their enthusiasm about excruciatingly minor details of the franchise, so it seemed risky to make a brand new movie. There was a strong chance it might be a massive failure and only make something like six billion dollars on its opening weekend. Any naysayers were of course proven wrong, likely buried beneath a pile of t-shirts which, get this: mashed up aspects of Star Wars and other pop culture franchises. (They thought of everything folks!) The Force Awakens was a massive hit. Experts estimate that the value of BB-8 merchandise thrown away thus far is more than the Fantastic Four movie made last summer. Those same experts went on to point out that maybe we shouldn’t be buying so much Star Wars crap when the average household income worldwide is well under ten thousand dollars, but we inserted our earplugs that look like Lor San Tekka so they couldn’t harsh our buzz. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the movie event to end all movie events: grainy home video footage of Bib Fortuna’s retirement party. Er, I mean, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Additional contributors: Conor Lastowka - Senior Writer Sean Thomason - Senior Writer Contributing Writers: Molly Hodgdon, Jason Miller, Mike Schuster, and Joseph Scrimshaw
#22 - On Guard - Bunco!
Season 3 - Episode 268 - Aired 6/7/2016
On Guard - Bunco! provides a hard-hitting and, if you take good notes, potentially lucrative look into the world of con-men! Scams covered include “The Encyclopedia Flim Flamica“ “The Widow’s Bankroll Do-see-do” and the always crowd-pleasing “Paint a Guy’s Roof then Threaten to Beat Him Up.” For good measure there’s a grand finale involving needless racism! If you’re anything like us, you’ll find it impossible to watch the whole thing and not go out and pull a few buncos of your own! In fact, here, have Kevin’s bank account number just to get you started!
#23 - Cat-Women of the Moon
Season 2 - Episode 33 - Aired 4/15/2016
It’s Bridget and Mary Jo’s first feature film! Riffing-wise, that is. A routine trip to the moon runs amok when the astronauts encounter a race of women with feline tendencies, such as teleportation and wearing leotards. They are the last survivors of an ancient civilization, and they only have a couple of boxes of breathable air left. Desperate to migrate to Earth, the Cat-Women have been telepathically controlling Helen, the ship’s navigator (and girl) to aid them. Then the crew -- ooops - sorry, no spoilers! Starring Marie “The Queen of the Bs” Windsor, and urban legend subject and Laugh-In guest Sonny Tufts, Variety magazine wrote about the film, “...the cast ably portray their respective roles." So take THAT!
#24 - The Value of Teamwork
Season 3 - Episode 267 - Aired 4/22/2016
The Value of Teamwork! No, it’s not the fourth Powerpoint slide in a seminar your HR manager required you to attend after your meltdown in the conference room last week, it’s our latest short! And it’s a sweet classic tale, all about a boy and his dog. Except the boy is an irritable loner who doesn’t play well with others, and the dog talks to him and tells him what to do. Nothing ominous or terrifying about that, right? Fortunately this particular dog is less into commanding murders and more into team-building exercises, being a nice kid, that kind of stuff. A weirdly sullen boy and his cute and powerful dog, teaming up team-style! Join the team-iest team of all, Mike, Bill, and Kevin for the The Value of Teamwork! Teams!!!
#25 - Quiptracks: Ghost Rider
Season 4 - Episode 836 - Aired 6/2/2012
We've all heard Satan's pitch at least once in our lives. The offer's always a little different, but the price (you would find if you didn't slam the door in his face) is always the same: your soul. Sometimes it's a dependable new set of encyclopedias. Sometimes it's a "free" gift card. "Would you like to supersize your order for just a soul more?" According to a recent survey of 20,000 residents of Hell, these deals have accounted for less than .2 percent of Hell's incoming tenants. You might actually want to consider taking the deal, however, when you hear about a common side effect: Becoming a badass flaming skeleton with the power to kill demons effortlessly. Johnny Blaze discovers this 20-some years after wasting his deal trying to save his klutzy father from cancer—who immediately kills himself in a freak, 'Leap of Death' accident. Unfortunately, Johnny's super cool affliction manifests itself after he becomes Nicholas Cage, so instead of becoming the chick-magnet you would expect, he's stuck pining after his old flame, Roxie (played by porn actress Eva Mendez...wait, what? She's not in porn? She's been in other, real, shown-in-theaters movies? That can't be right...) Anyway. The devil overreacts when his son, Blackheart, comes out of the closet, and Mephisopheles hires Johnny to kick his candy ass. This is not something I'd normally condone reveling in, but Blackheart is also pure evil and trying to destroy the world or something, so it's okay to enjoy seeing his powdered face get punched from here to drama club. Features: Tristan, Tracy, and Cody