The WORST episodes of Monty Python's Flying Circus
Every episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus ever, ranked from worst to best by thousands of votes from fans of the show. The worst episodes of Monty Python's Flying Circus!
And now for something completely different: Monty Python's Flying Circus was simply the most influential comedy program television has ever seen. Five Englishmen, all working under the constraints of conventional TV shows such as The Frost Report (for which the five Englishmen wrote), gathered together with an expatriate American in the spring of 1969 to break the rules. The result, first airing on BBC-1 on October 5, 1969, has influenced countless future men and women in the media and comedy since.
#1 - Hamlet
Season 4 - Episode 4 - Aired 11/21/1974
Hamlet by William Shakespeare, Act One; Hamlet pulls up in car; Hamlet on couch being interviewed by several different psychiatrists `You've got this great looking bird, her legs are up on the mantle piece...'; Dr. Bruce Genuine comments; computer psychiatrist interviews Hamlet; computer is launched and blown up; Nationwide looks at comfortable chairs, policemen accosts Nationwide reporter & others and talks about helmets, couple making love on the street; couple in bed with her father; credits; group of people in bed watching Hamlet; animation- paratroopers; a decapitated boxer's locker room; hospital workers listen to fight on radio; Mrs. Gorilla & Mrs. Non-Gorilla talk about piston engines; Mrs. Non-Smoker feeds the birds large quantities of food and talks to Mrs. Smoker about piston engines; Act Two- A Room in Polonius's House; live from Epsom, The Queen Victoria's Handicap; Several Queen Victoria's talk about soccer; animation- boy flying with balloons; Act Five- A Ham in the Cast
#2 - Spam
Season 2 - Episode 12 - Aired 12/15/1970
The Black Eagle, announcer; credits; Hungarian at the tobacconists `Do you want? Do you want? To come back to my place bouncy! bouncy!', `My nipples explode with delight!'; Alexander Yalk prosecuted for obscene Hungarian phrasebook; justices in sensational press; animation- 2001 soccer ball; World Forum: Karl Marx, Che-Guevara, Lenin and Mao Tse Tung answer questions on English football; animation- and now for a bit of fun; 1914 Ypres movie set crowded; figures from paintings go out on strike; sketch about Ypres resumes `Dip, dip, dip. My little ship. Sailed on the O-Cean, You are it!'; mental hospital for overacting; animation- Hamlet ward, bombs to flowers; flower arranging by D.P. Gumby; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam and spam `I don't like SPAM!', song- Spam, historian, more spam; credits.
#3 - How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body
Season 2 - Episode 9 - Aired 11/24/1970
Ladies in bikinis, announcer in bikini, Hermit in bikini; credits; How to Recognize Different Parts of the Body; University of Wallamaloo staff meeting for the Philosophy department `Rule 1: No Poofters!'; body parts; interviewer with Norman St. John Polevaulter a man who contradicts people; body parts; Mr. Luxury-Yacht (Throatwarbler-Mangrove) seeks a nose job and camping holiday; and now a precision display of bad temper; close order swanning about `Oooh, get her. Whoops! I got your number duckie, you couldn't afford me dear 2,3. I'll scratch your eyes out! Don't come the Brigadier bit with us dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy, 2,3. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 Whoops, don't look now girls the major just minced in with the jolly colour sergeant. 2,3! Oooh.'; animation- ballet, generals, old lady trips bus, The Killer Cars, mutant cat and hand; Verrifast Plaine Co. Ltd. offers no frills flight to America; re-enactment of the first heart transplant by the Battley Townswomen's G
#4 - Live from the Grill-o-Mat
Season 2 - Episode 5 - Aired 10/27/1970
BBC1, announcer live from a Painton snack bar; credits; announcer- the hors d'oeuvre; Blackmail!; the Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things turns into a German prison camp; animation- the escape; announcer- the dish; Population Explosion- new talk show; animation- more of the escapees; Prawn Salad Ltd. `Hello Officer, there seems to have been an accident'; escapees meet bishop still practicing from show #5; announcer- the dessert; Seven Brides for Seven Brothers a school play; animation- Teddy and Neddy hunting piggy banks; butchershop sketch `Oh, thank you says the great queen like a la-te-da poofter!'; announcer- the coffee; Ken Clean-Air Systems the great white hope of British boxing `nobody knows why'; waitress reads announcers note, announcer on bus; credits.
#5 - Royal Episode 13
Season 2 - Episode 13 - Aired 12/22/1970
Announcer reveals that the Queen will be watching this show; Royal credits; Royal Episode 13: 1st spoof, coal miners argue over historical dates; newsreader; The Toad Elevating Moment features a man who says things in a roundabout way, a man who speaks the ends of words, a man who says the beginning of words and a man who says ends of words; animation- dragon with bad breath, Crelm toothpaste, concrete truss; how to feed goldfish by an irresponsible man; tape recorder in a bush, a waiter and Herbert Mendel: a man who collects birdwatcher's eggs, butterfly catchers and races pigeon fanciers; animation- Spiny Norman, bomber and Madonna; insurance sketch; Queen tunes in and out; doctors discourage lying around hospital by patients; exploding `Blue Danube Waltz'; dorm at a girl's public school; high school girls re-enact invasion of Normandy, housewives in a submarine; animation- the firing of Mrs. Nesbitt; letter of protest; sailors in a lifeboat discuss who's for dinner; letter of protes
#6 - Whicker's World
Season 3 - Episode 1 - Aired 10/19/1972
Njorl's Saga: Iceland 1126, organist, announcer, Hermit, credits with plumbing; man apologizes to court and police; animation- Spider escapes into himself, police follow; Njorl's Saga Part II; BBC drama office; restart of Njorl's Saga, finds North Malden; an apology; BBC programmer in pleads in court, defendant charged with being in Njorl's Saga escapes into self; animation- Spider still being chased; stock market analyzed; Mrs. Premise and Mrs. Conclusion argue over putting budgies down and call on Jean-Paul Sartre; North Malden intrudes again; BBC drama office again; Njorl's Saga starts again, but it is the housewives still looking for and finding Jean-Paul; Whicker's World; Whickered credits roll.
#7 - A Book at Bedtime
Season 3 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/11/1973
Quarrel over starting show with credits; credits; A Book at Bedtime featuring a poor reader whom gets help reading aloud; kamikaze Scotsmen, kamikaze advice center; more kamikaze Scotsmen; `No Time to Lose; advice center, animation- No Time Toulouse, the Story of the Wild and Lawless Days of the Post Impressionists; more kamikaze Scotsmen; back to the readers; animation- 2001 caveman; Frontiers in Medicine: Part 2 The Gathering Storm, The role of penguins in nature; animation- penguins in power; kamikaze Scotsmen in Russia, the Russian unexploded Scotsmen disposal squad in action; Spot the Looney!; two documentary hosts compete for air time; the poor readers finish the story; credits; BBC1 announcement; BBC1 previews Dad's Pooves and other new comedy shows.
#8 - The Naked Ant
Season 1 - Episode 12 - Aired 1/4/1970
Hermit pinballs off trees; credits; episode 17-26: The Naked Ant; signal man & bear; men falling past window; letter of protest; animation- people falling; Spectrum- `What is Going On?'; the North Minehead By-Election with Adolf Hilter, man on the street about Mr. Hilter; Spectrum again `What do I mean, by what do I mean?'; `I Wish to Report a Burglary!'; The 127th Annual Upper Class Twit of the Year competition `He doesn't have any sort of sensory apparatus what-so-ever. My God this is exciting!'; letter of compliment; animation- soldier falls apart; Ken Shabby proposes `After five years they give me a brush', The Story So Far...; A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Wood Party- minister falls through Earth's crust `I should think the longest length of BBC rope', commentary on minister's fall; Anything else? `No', Spectrum again `What do we mean by no', sixteen ton weight; Hermit; credits.
#9 - 'Face the Press'
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Aired 9/15/1970
Credits with flowers and man with chicken body; Face the Press- Minister in a pink tulle dress; The New Gas Cooker Sketch; animation- flying monarch; dirty old man and billboard `I like a bit of pram please'; Ministry of Silly Walks; Ethel the Frog looks at the rise and fall of Doug and Dinsdale Piranha; announcer, hermit; credits with Spiny Norman.
#10 - How to Recognise Different Types of Trees from Quite a Long Way Away
Season 1 - Episode 3 - Aired 10/19/1969
The Larch, Court Scene with Cardinal Richelieu – written by Cleese and Chapman, The Larch – Part 2, Bicycle Repair Man – written by Palin and Jones, Children's Stories, Restaurant Sketch, Seduced Milkmen, Stolen Newsreader, The Horse Chestnut, Children's Interview, Candid Photography
#11 - Déjà Vu
Season 2 - Episode 3 - Aired 9/29/1970
Woman undresses by window, announcer by window; exploding animals; Hermit; credits; A bishop practicing for show #8, `This way please!' to the flying lesson sketch `Oh, Oh, Oh! No more butter scones for me Mater, I'm off to play the grand piano! Pardon me while I fly my aeroplane!'; BALPA spokesman protests; airplane hijacking sketch `don't anybody move, except of course for certain involuntary movements'; bus hijacking sketch; The poetry of Ewen MacTeagle `Can You Lend Me Fifty Pounds to Mend the Shed'; exploding animals, scotsman protests McTeagle sketch, gynecologist on his lunch hour; animation- little girl and men, hands and a lasso; psychiatric milkmen; complaints; psychiatric dairies, This way please; It's the Mind- the strange phenomenon of deja-vu; credits.
#12 - E. Henry Thripshaw's Disease
Season 3 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/21/1972
Tudor job agency, dirty book shop, the Life of Sir Phillip Sidney who personally captures 6,000 copies of Tits and Bums, animation-Gay Boys in Bondage; Reverend Arthur Belling from St. Looney Up the Cream Bun and Jam makes some converts; credits; animation- animals in shooting gallery; the Free Repetition of Doubtful Words Sketch; animation- horse with envelope; Is There? discusses life after death; Dr. E. Henry Thripshaw discovers a new disease and turns it into a media spectacular; silly noises; a vicar discusses his sherry supply problem with a salesman; credits; BBC-1 announcement.
#13 - Scott of the Antarctic
Season 2 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/1/1970
`Le Fromage Grand'- lady and a revolutionary in garbage dump `I see you have a cabbage', film reviewer, another dump; the filming of Scott of the Antarctic `Gleet! Gleet!' which becomes Scott of the Sahara `I gotta fight the lion!', `See Scott's death struggle with a huge African lion!' and a 40 foot tall electric penguin with tentacles; announcer; credits; animation- stepping on people, Conrad's dancing teeth, a letter; man tries to license his pet fish Eric; Derby Council 15 comes out for second half with Lord Mayors and their ladies and the Gynecologists Association versus the Long John Silver Impersonators; credits.
#14 - The Golden Age of Ballooning
Season 4 - Episode 1 - Aired 10/31/1974
The Golden Age of Ballooning: Ep. 1 The Beginnings, The Montgolfier brothers pioneer hot air flight, try to wash, Mr. Bartlett comes to visit; animation- brothers washing; Ep. 2 The Montgolfier Brothers in Love, Louis the ??teenth comes to visit and steal the balloon plans; Ep. 3 The Great Day for France, court of George the Third; end credits; Norwegian party political broadcast; Ep. 6 Count Ferdinand Von Zeppelin shows his balloon to dignitaries `It's not a balloon! It's a Zeppelin!'; the drawing and sitting rooms of a small German house; Golden Age of Colonic Irrigation; The Mill on the Floss: Part 1 Ballooning.
#15 - The Nude Organist
Season 3 - Episode 9 - Aired 12/14/1972
East Scottish Airways faces a bomb threat; organist talks about the place of the nude man; announcer talks about laughter; credits; `and now for ten seconds of sex'; announcer talks about returning MPFC; new housing built entirely by characters from 19th Century literature; characters from Milton's Paradise Lost build an eighteen level bypass; flats built by Hypnosis featuring the Amazing Mystico and Janet `Yes Janet, a quiet shy girl...'; outburst of capital punishment; morgue attendants listen to Radio 4 and are toured by a judge `Iah, Iah, Iah I'm a good little doggie'; finals of the Olympic Men's Hide and Seek in the record times of 11 years, 2 months, 26 days, 9 hours, 3 minutes and 27 seconds; smarmy announcer, chicken knight; the Cheap laughs visit their neighbors, sixteen ton weight; Probe looks at bullfighting; animation- push of a button, two growing trees; live feed from the planet Algon where a simple pair of split crotched panties are virtually priceless; extortionist reads
#16 - Owl-Stretching Time
Season 1 - Episode 4 - Aired 10/26/1969
Song: "Jerusalem (And did those feet)", Art Gallery, Art Critic, It's a Dog's Life in the Modern Army, Undressing in Public – written by Palin and Jones, Self-Defence Against Fresh Fruit – written by Cleese and Chapman, first appearance of the 16-Ton Weight, Secret Service Dentists
#17 - The War Against Pornography
Season 3 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/23/1972
Housewives solve the labor problem and clean up the arts; credits; Mr. Gumby goes to have a lobotomy; animation- Good Evening; George and Gladys watch a program on mollusks `Yes, the mollusk is a randy little bastard!'; animation- baby sucking on pacifier; BBC news report mutates into different forms; politicians- an apology; reporter covering Naval expedition becomes Long John Silver, animation- Today's R.N., coverage continues of Naval expedition to Lake Pahoe located at 22A Runcorn St.; Mr. Badger answers questions about Magna Carta in mime; credits.
#18 - Intermission
Season 1 - Episode 13 - Aired 1/11/1970
Undertakers carry Hermit on; a short intermission; credits; a medium-sized intermission; animation- ""intermission"" eaten; 'Please excuse my wife'; a whopping great intermission; animation- Pearls for Swine presents... cinema ads- ALBATROSS! Gannet on a stick!; more ads; policeman and man on corner (""Do you want to come back to my place""); Me Doctor?, chicken knight; Gumbies; Historical Impersonations- Cardinal Richelieu as Petula Clark and Marcel Marceau mimes a man being struck on the head by a sixteen-ton weight; schoolboys 'I want to have Raquel Welch dropped on top of me. She's got a big bottom!' and insurance agents; cops and robbers; Probearound looks at Magic and the police force; A.T. Hun turns himself in 'Curses! Curses!'; letters of protest, animated letter falls apart; Psychiatrist Larch sees a man about strange voices the man is hearing, man goes to see Larch's friend who specializes in these sort of things and gets an expensive operation, man found to have squatters in his
#19 - Untitled
Season 1 - Episode 10 - Aired 12/21/1969
Hermit on meathook; credits; BBC sends letter to plumber asking him to be in a sketch, robber in lingerie shop waits for plumber; David Unction introduces `It's a Tree' with Arthur Tree, a piece of laminated plastic and a block of wood; animation- Chippendale does impersonations, announcer introduces => the vocational guidance counselor sketch- accountant wants to be lion tamer; David Unction and a viking; Ron Obvious tries to jump the English channel, eat a cathedral, tunnel to Java, split a railway car with his nose and run to Mercury; pet conversion sketch; comments on sketch predictability; gorilla wants to be a librarian; letters; lover visits lady in the night and encounters a crowd; animation- comments on last sketch predictability by animals; Hermit; credits.
#20 - The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra Goes to the Bathroom
Season 1 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/28/1969
Hermit hit by auto; Episode Two's: Royal Philharmonic goes to bathroom; letter of objection; Mary Bignell's wonderful jump; letters of objection; Royal Philharmonic flushes; animation- objections; Prof. Canning presents the Black Death, interrupted by undertakers racing hearses & having picnic lunches, Canning leaves in disgust; Inspectors Tiger, Lookout, There's-a-man-behind-you, and Fire investigate a murder; undertakers interrupt show for a burial; a late letter of objection; an existential football interview `Well Brian, I hit the ball first time, and there it was in the back of the net. I'm opening a boutique'; back to the murder investigation; undertakers having it rough; animation- undertakers & two nude ladies; Interesting People: a man in a matchbox, `Ali Bayan stark raving mad', `Men of Harlech' on bicycle bells, a man who can give a cat influenza, an invisible man, interesting sports, a man who's into shouting, a man whose cat jumps across a studio into a bucket of water- `B
#21 - How Not to Be Seen
Season 2 - Episode 11 - Aired 12/8/1970
Conquistador Instant Coffee becomes Conquistador Instant Leprosy `S. Frog, sir', needle stuck on recording of announcer; credits; Ramsey MacDonald in ladies underwear `My it's hot in here'; job interview at swap center; animation- Miss Johnson destroyed by Chinese Communist conspiracy, Crelm toothpaste and U.S. defense only protection, Shrill gas mileage test; Neville Shunt's `It All Happened on the 8:13 From Gillingham', Shunt, Gavin Milnarrrr reviews the play; announcer & interviewer obsessed with teeth, shows clips from Martin Curry's film Julius Incisor; man on the street `I've been in the city...'; Crackpot Religions Ltd. to Cartoon Religions Ltd. [ see below ]; H.M Government Public Service Film No. 42 Para 6 How Not to Be Seen; interview with a man trying not to seen, Jackie Charleton and the Toenails sing `Yummy Yummy' while trying not to be seen; credits; for those who just missed Monty Python here it is again.
#22 - It's a Living
Season 2 - Episode 6 - Aired 11/3/1970
It's a Living explains it's rules; BBC1 tells time on both networks; animation- This Way Please!; credits; announcers appears to tell us why he is unable to appear; presentation of school prizes by thieving impostors; Mr. L.F. Dibley defends his films (IF, 2001, Midnight Cowboy , Finnian's Rainbow and Rear Window) on a TV talk show; Foreign secretary speaks on canoeing and Arabs throw him into lake, Arabs throw others into lake; dinner party interrupted by Book of the Month club dung, Dead Indian with new gas cooker and the M4 motorway; animation- other prizes; Timmy Williams Coffee Time; Raymond Luxury-Yacht (Throatwarbler-Mangrove) goes on a talk show; animation- pnuematic lady welcomes sexual athletes; marriage registrar misunderstands mans request; animation- Prince with a spot of `CANCER' not the audio dubbed `Gangreen' (see episode 24), `Yes, black as the ace of spades!'; Election Night Special- Sensible, Slightly Silly, Silly and Very Silly parties, candidates include Jethro Q.
#23 - The Attila the Hun Show
Season 2 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/11/1970
The Attila the Hun Show!; song: With a Little Love by the Hunlets; credits; Attila the Nun, doctor examines lady to `The Stripper'; Secretary of State for the Commonwealth delivers an address on Agrarian policies while stripping; political groupies; Ratcatcher sketch; scientist researches new strain of sheep; animation- killer sheep on the lamb; news for parrots; adaptation of Tale of Two Cities for parrots; Today in Parliament; news for Wombats; animation - Attila the Bun; the Art of Idioting - `I may be an idiot, but I'm no fool'; Cricketing from Lords; animation- cricket match played by furniture, Epsom Downs furniture racing; Mrs. Scum wins a blow on the head; credits.
#24 - Oh, You're No Fun Anymore
Season 1 - Episode 7 - Aired 11/30/1969
Camel Spotting, You're No Fun Anymore, The Audit, Science Fiction Sketch, Man Turns into Scotsman, Police station, Blancmanges Playing Tennis
#25 - The Ant, an Introduction
Season 1 - Episode 9 - Aired 12/14/1969
Hermit dodging landmines; credits; Part 2: The Llama, Live from Golder's Green- a Flamenco troupe explains the Llama `Llamas son mas grandes que las ranas'; and now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose; mountaineering sketch, two men skilled in climbing apply to an expedition to the twin peaks of Mt. Kilimanjaro; and now: Monty Python; a man with a tape recorder up his brother's nose, and now in stereo; animation- saint selling encyclopedias; barber fights urge to kill, reveals he always wanted to be a lumberjack, song- Lumberjack Song; letters of protest; housewife protests about too much sex on television `I mean, I keep falling off', Prof. Gumby gives an opinion on television's influence; announcer grovels during introduction of star, `Ken Buddha, a smile, two bangs and a religion', animation- Brian Islam and Brucie; life in the country guns, guns, guns; knight with chicken not needed this week; and now: Victor and Iris's night alone together wit