The BEST episodes written by Jennifer Saunders
#1 - Skirmish
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 2 - Episode 4
Rosie takes a turn for the worst after there's some problems at the cheese factory and refuses to leave her house. Whilst the village's annual war re-enactment is at risk of being cancelled due to health and safety risks.
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#2 - New Beginnings (1)
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 3 - Episode 5
Spike and Tash are finally ready to travel the world in their converted mobile library, but a confusion with the gears leads to a call-out for the emergency services, and Sal's house ends up looking like a war zone. Jock agrees to mend the damage, and the thawing of his previously frosty relationship with Sal continues, much to the amusement of Tip and the disgust of Tash.
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#3 - Tea Room
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 1 - Episode 2
When the Women's Guild decide they want a coffee room at the local church, they hold a "bring and buy" sale to pay for the health and safety standards.
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#4 - Dinner Party (1)
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 3 - Episode 3
Caroline is planning a dinner party for husband John and his friends from London.
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#5 - Wedding
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 2 - Episode 6
Tash struggles to organise her immanent wedding to Spike and seeks help from her mother. Sal enlists the Guild to help create a magical Fairy Wedding for them.
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#6 - Match
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 2 - Episode 5
The Guild's rivalry with a neighbouring Guild goes one step further with a sporting duel; netball and bowls. Also, Tash receives an ultimatum.
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#7 - Holy Potato
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 1 - Episode 5
Rosie, Eileen and Queenie help the Vicar prepare for the harvest festival, but all comes to a stand still when Rosie sees a potato with Jesus' face on it.
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#8 - Rambling
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 2 - Episode 3
Sal organises a ramble for the guild and tries to make Spike and Tash get together but Spike gets the wrong idea. After bumping into the reverend who's with a lady friend, the group get stuck under sudden fog and Sal gets confronted about mothering Tash too much.
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#9 - Festival
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 2 - Episode 2
Eileen believes that Sal and Susie are trying to overthrow her as president of the guild when really Sal's just trying to get Susie a pregnancy testing kit without the rest of the village being aware of her plan. And Tash is horrified when Spike buys a ticket to Glastonbury instead of sneaking in with her like normal.
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#10 - Easter (1)
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 3 - Episode 1
Sal discovers an old planning application to convert the barn in the field behind her house and, despite the fact that it is officially too late to object, she enlists the help of the Guild in an effort to stop the development.
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#11 - Website
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 2 - Episode 1
As the first anniversary of Mike's death approaches, Sal tells James how much she misses him. Sal teaches James how to be compassionate with his patients and Tash gets a job in tele sales. Meanwhile, the Guild launch a website and hold a Victorian tea so they can put the some photos on the website. However, Kate and Eileen argue over who will make the website. Delilah flies off her bike and is rushed to hospital.
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#12 - Beating the Bounds
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 1 - Episode 3
When Sal and Tip discover that Eileen is adopted through the website "Genes Reunited", they give Eileen the phone number a blood relative. She is initially angry at the discovery, but this soon fades to happiness when she learns she has a brother.
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#13 - Problem Daughter
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 1 - Episode 4
While Delilah gets her car stuck, Sal and Tash argue over Tash doing a circus skills cours. They later make up and at the surgery Tip cleverly comes up with a plan to get Sal her old job back.
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#14 - Inspection
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 1 - Episode 6
Eileen fears the Guild will be closed when she reads aloud a letter indicating an impending visit from Guild Inspector Lady Anne Crump. Meanwhile Rosie embarks on a celebrity diet and the rest of the Guild help Elijah, an old man who recently lost his wife.
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#15 - Panickin'
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 5 - Episode 3
When Eddy converts her bomb shelter into a panic room, she and Patsy accidentally get locked in and, not knowing the access code, have to wait until the system resets and the door opens.
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#16 - Menopause
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 4 - Episode 6
After Patsy cracks her wrist and finds out she is has osteoporosis, Saffron sets up a menopause meeting for the pair. Edina's businesses are going under and it seems that everyone is undergoing change. Then Saffron starts having day-dreams about the possible future...
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#17 - Exploitin'
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 5 - Episode 7
Saffy grudgingly agrees to let Eddy babysit Jane while she and John go to lunch, but as soon as they're gone, Eddy whisks her off to the zoo where Patsy has arranged for her to be part of a photo shoot with famous photographer, Jean-Paul Gaultier. Saffy's anger at her mother is softened when Eddy confides she and Jane bonded; that is, until Saffy makes a shocking discovery.
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#18 - Nose
French & Saunders - Season 2 - Episode 6
Dawn and Jennifer round off the series with more fantastic sketches and a medley of hilarious silver screen send-ups. Jennifer visits Dr. French for a nose job. Other sketches include a parody of Jane Seymour, the extras meeting June Whitfield, and a string of Hollywood parodies. Musical guest: Lulu performing "The Man Who Sold the World". Additional music: Raw Sex performing "Mambo Italiano"; French and Saunders performing "The Way We Were".
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#19 - Schmoozin'
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 5 - Episode 6
Edina's 'new' boyfriend Pete, who she and Patsy knew growing up, works at Abbey Road Studios and uncovered some "lost tapes" of the Beatles. They throw a party to play them in public for the first time and things don't quite go as planned. Elton John does a cameo.
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#20 - Jealous
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 3 - Episode 4
Eddie gets very depressed that she doesn't win the PR Person of the Year Award and almost works herself to death trying to gain revenge. Saffy's psychology lecturer starts giving her some "extra special tuition" and Eddie comes to her daughter's aid for one of the few times in her life.
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#21 - Death
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 2 - Episode 2
Eddie's father passes away and she is more concerned about how much weight she has put on and Saffy is horrified at her mother's selfishness regarding the death. It soon makes Eddie realize that she is also going to die and she goes out and spends hundreds of thousands of pounds on art that she doesn't want, just so she can leave something behind when she dies.
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#22 - Birthin'
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 5 - Episode 5
The big day has finally come and Saffy goes into labor. Everyone is there except the midwife who is unable to get into the house after the power goes out because the doors, which lock electronically, cannot be opened without electricity.
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#23 - Donkey
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 4 - Episode 4
Despite having tried every fad diet going, Eddie is still desperate to be thin, and decides to try detox. Spurred on by a Sex And The City-style lunch with her bitchy girlfriends, Eddie embarks on a strict regime of water and red meat and enrolls herself in a grueling military fitness program. Despite Patsy's best efforts, Eddie swears off champagne and begins to shed the pounds. But her nights are plagued with visits from God and the Devil, who have their own agendas. Meanwhile, budding playwright Saffy bumps into a pretentious old school friend, Taylor Johns, who attempts to use her in his bid to further his acting career, and Patsy decides to see what life is like without her trademark Sixties forelock.
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#24 - Fear
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 3 - Episode 5
Patsy moves in to live with Edina when Saffy goes off to college. However it proves to be a turbulent arrangement, especially when they can't find the tin opener. Further trouble errupts when Lulu arrives at Edina's office to terminate her contract and sign with a high-powered American PR agency. Patsy loses her job when her magazine folds, leaving the high-living pair contemplating old age and a crossroads in their lives.
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#25 - Misery
French & Saunders - Season 4 - Episode 1
Featuring a memorable reenactment of the film 'Misery' and an exclusive performance by Dickens Daughters.
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#26 - The Silence of the Lambs
French & Saunders - Season 4 - Episode 2
Dawn and Jennifer pay homage to The Silence of the Lambs, and there's a unique appearance by The Mamas and Papas.
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#27 - Door Handle
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 3 - Episode 1
As the kitchen is being rebuilt after the fire in last series finale, Eddie is hell-bent on searching for the perfect door handle to match her decor, and she and Patsy take a day trip to New York on the concord to track one down.
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#28 - Parallox
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 4 - Episode 1
Patsy has an injection to freeze her wrinkles; Edina is due to make an appearance on the TV show "This Morning With Richard & Judy"; Saffy is looking for a job with New Labour and Mother is finding out the delights of the internet
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#29 - Book Clubbin'
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 5 - Episode 2
Eddy and Patsy organize a book club to meet famous people, but no one is interested in reading anything except celebrity gossip magazines. Eddy has recurring nightmares about Saffy's midwife, who delights in teasing her about them. She's very unhappy about the expected grandbaby until she learns the father is black... after all, a mixed-race baby is the greatest accessory, the "Chanel of babies."
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#30 - Thelma and Louise
French & Saunders - Season 4 - Episode 7
Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders pay comic homage to Thelma and Louise. They are also joined by Royal Ballet star Darcey Bussell.
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#31 - Huntin' Shootin' & Fishin'
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 5 - Episode 4
Edina and Patsy spend the weekend at a snooty lodge in the country and become so bored, they create their own version of fun. Meanwhile, Saffy has her friends, Emma and Sarah, over for a baby shower and Sarah becomes obsessed with Emma. The weekend ends with Emma getting a restraining order and an unexpected turn of events for Sarah.
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#32 - Birth
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 2 - Episode 6
Patsy burns down Eddie's kitchen with her cigarette when she falls asleep. Forced to live out of the sitting room, Eddie and Patsy plan a night out which suits Saffy as she is having a boy around to watch a documentary. Unfortunately for all, Mother accidentally locks them in the sitting room and Eddie tries to open up to her daughter and talk to her about sex and her birth, despite Patsy's comments.
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#33 - Happy New Year
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 3 - Episode 2
While Saffy plans to spend a quiet New Years Eve with her Gran and Justin, Eddie and Patsy prepare to join a huge underground rave party to see in the new year, but things change when word comes of the visit from Patsy's long lost sister Jackie who is notorious for being a 60's party animal. Upon her arrival, Patsy is distressed to learn that her sister (unlike herself) has actually aged in the last 30 years.
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#34 - Sex
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 3 - Episode 3
Eddie wants to have a bigger bedroom and debates which of the two walls to knock down; one leading to Saffy's room, the other to Serge's. Eddie and Patsy go into Serge's room to clear it out where Saffy discovers a copy of 'Razzle' amongst his magazines (thankfully not the one that Patsy appeared in!). Despite Saffy's objections about the magazine, Eddie leafs through it and realizes that it has been awhile since she has had sex. Patsy talks her into hiring two male prostitutes on the night that Saffy has a presentation at school, both of which don't go off as smoothly as they would have liked.
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#35 - Hospital
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 2 - Episode 1
Patsy is caught having an affair with a politician and is pushed into the tabloid spotlight which reveals her true age. Eddie stubs her toe and "requires" surgery. Patsy joins her in hospital for moral support - and a facelift.
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#36 - The End
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 3 - Episode 6
After Patsy and Saffy both move away from her, Eddie moves to a commune where she tries to fit in but doesn't have a chance. Patsy's new job is not what she was expecting and Eddie turns up in New York where she meets her on the top of a building in a helicopter before heading back to London. There is also a sneak peek at them in 25 years time.
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#37 - Casting Agency
French & Saunders - Season 3 - Episode 7
Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders round off their series with more comedy sketches and special guest Jane Asher. Dawn and Jennifer start a casting agency but manage to insult all of their clients. Musical guest: Sarah Walker performing "I Should Be So Lucky".
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#38 - Baywatch
French & Saunders - Season 5 - Episode 1
Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders return with a spoof of Baywatch and Helen Mirren desperately trying to reinvent herself.
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#39 - Back at the BBC
French & Saunders - Season 6 - Episode 1
Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders go behind the scenes at the BBC, with sketches featuring old favourites, new characters and film parodies. Dawn and Jennifer's first day at their new office and they meet their producer. Sketches include Dawn's unusual medical check-up and an homage to the film Cold Mountain.
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#40 - Birthday
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 1 - Episode 5
Eddie is turning 40 and Saffy organizes a quaint family get-together for her involving Mother, Justin (Saffy's father), Justin's lover Oliver, Marshall (Eddie's son Serge's father) and his new wife Bo. However, Eddie has developed a complex about her age and refuses to participate in the celebrations.
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#41 - Small Opening
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 4 - Episode 5
Saffy's first play, "Self Raising Flower," based on her life is opening at the local theatre and Eddie worries that it will portray her as a bad mother, which of course it does.
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#42 - Sudden Death
Jam and Jerusalem - Season 1 - Episode 1
Sal's husband dies and at the funeral her son James announces he is firing her from the family owned clinic. Sal joins the local Women's Guild to pass her time, as does Kate the bereavement councillor.
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#43 - Cleanin'
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 5 - Episode 1
Patsy and Eddy are forced to clean up the house in preparation of Saffy returning from Iraq. When Saffy returns, she has a big announcement.
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#44 - Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
French & Saunders - Season 3 - Episode 6
Jennifer's Marilyn Monroe and Dawn's Jane Russell spell it out with an outrageous rendition of Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend. Ken and Duane imagine suing the publisher of an "easy" sheet music book; and "Modern Mother and Daughter", the basis for Absolutely Fabulous. Musical guest: Kirsty MacColl performing "Still Life".
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#45 - Three-Letter Words
French & Saunders - Season 6 - Episode 2
This week, still struggling to come up with ideas, French & Saunders have to meet with the controller of BBC One (Eve Pollard). Plus they pay tribute to Cher through the ages and Catherine Zeta-Jones is in conversation
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#46 - Morocco
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 2 - Episode 3
Patsy agrees to put a Fashion spread in her magazine of the product Edina is promoting called "POPSPEX", and they both go to Marrakesh for the photo shoot. Saffron wants to go with them to help her university studies but Patsy ends up selling her to white slave traders.
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#47 - Iso Tank
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 1 - Episode 4
Banned from attending Saffron's college open day, Edina sulks in her brand new isolation tank. But she's got a few tricks up her Lacroix sleeves yet.
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#48 - The Sound of Music
French & Saunders - Season 3 - Episode 1
The hills are alive with the sound of French and Saunders as Dawn and Jennifer parody The Sound of Music. With special guest Jerry Hall. Other sketches include parodies of ABBA and Sonia, and the first appearance of Pear Tree Farm. Musical guest: Kirsty MacColl performing "Fifteen Minutes".
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#49 - Fish Farm
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 4 - Episode 2
After rocking on at a Marilyn Manson concert, Eddie finds an attractive young man in her garden. Patsy recognizes Jago, the landscape gardener hired by Saffy, as the brother of a well known aristocrat and Eddie turns on the charm to get her dream of a huge mansion with servants.
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#50 - Paris
Absolutely Fabulous - Season 4 - Episode 3
Patsy heads to Paris for a fashion shoot, a chance to relive her modeling days and to spend time with her new best friend, super model Erin O'Connor; with Eddie and Saffy in tow. While Patsy struggles to cope with fresh-faced models, unflattering clothes and the photographer from hell; Eddie tries to bond with her estranged daughter and somehow convinces Saffy to let down her defenses and flash the whole of Paris from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
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