The BEST episodes written by Jeff Schaffer
#1 - The Beer Mile
The League - Season 7 - Episode 6
Pete decides to run the Beer Mile with Taco as his coach. Kevin tries to figure out where the gardener goes to the bathroom. Jenny's matchup with Andre means playing Andre and Meegan.
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#2 - Larry vs. Michael J. Fox
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 10
Larry accuses his neighbor, Michael J. Fox of harassment; Jeff takes a bullet for Susie; Larry gives an inappropriate gift to Elizabeth's son.
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#3 - Palestinian Chicken
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 3
A Palestinian chicken restaurant is incredibly popular with Larry and his friends despite its open hostility towards Jews and Israel. Meanwhile, Larry's approached to inform people that their habits are agitating by family members too scared to do so.
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#4 - The Hero
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 6
Larry plays the hero in the sky and underground; Jeff’s courtship of Ricky Gervais is sabotaged by a nosy waiter.
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#5 - The Block
The League - Season 7 - Episode 10
Taco retires from sex because of concussions. Andre's one night stand with an Uber driver goes awry. Pete binge watches seven seasons of "The Block;" and Ruxin and Sofia use the internet to keep up their sex life while she is in Puerto Rico.
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#6 - The Draft of Innocence
The League - Season 7 - Episode 2
No one likes Andre's idea of a themed draft. Pete isn't speaking to Andre. The league agrees to an auction draft and, shockingly, there are huge problems.
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#7 - The Great Night of Shiva
The League - Season 7 - Episode 13
In the series finale, the fates of the Shiva, Sacko and Snip are decided and Ruxin makes a big decision that impacts his chances of winning and the league's survival.
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#8 - Mister Softee
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 9
An ice cream truck triggers a painful childhood memory for Larry.
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#9 - The Shiva Bowl
The League - Season 1 - Episode 6
The guys try to hide the Shiva Trophy from their high school classmate - the actual Shiva. Taco gets a "real person job at a Volkswagen dealership.
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#10 - Thanksgiving
The League - Season 3 - Episode 8
Ruxin gets an unexpected visit from his father, and Andre's sister is on the prowl at the gang's Thanksgiving dinner. Taco makes an edible investment. Kevin and Jenny have a problem with Ellie's class pet.
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#11 - The Safe House
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 2
Larry becomes an unlikely role model for battered women. Richard Lewis's relationship with a burlesque performer is put to the test. Leon survives a case of mistaken identity.
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#12 - Vow of Silence
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 5
Larry's evolving alibi to get out of a charity function results in unexpected travel plans. Meanwhile, Susie makes demands for the terminally ill family dog's last meal; and Larry points out personal flaws in the buffet line and in parking lots.
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#13 - The Divorce
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 1
Larry learns his lawyer isn't kosher, and rescinds a cookie order from the Girl Scout daughter of a beleaguered sports owner.
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#14 - Trophy Kevin
The League - Season 7 - Episode 7
Andre uses the EBDBBnB for farming. Taco acquires a drone. Pete's new referee friend has Kevin feeling insecure.
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#15 - The Chicken Roaster
Seinfeld - Season 8 - Episode 8
George reveals a strategy to guarantee a second date with women - leaving an object behind at their place. However, this strategy gets Elaine into trouble, when George leaves behind a sable hat she shouldn't have charged to the Peterman expense account. Meanwhile, the red neon sign of a new Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant beams directly into Kramer's apartment. Jerry and Kramer then switch apartments, and end up switching personalities as well.
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#16 - The Smiley Face
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 4
Larry challenges the rules of dating and rethinks a decision regarding a new workplace neighbor. Meanwhile, Jeff invents an ill-advised excuse to get out of a dining engagement.
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#17 - High School Reunion
The League - Season 2 - Episode 10
It's high-school reunion time, and Andre is looking forward to basking in his success while Ruxin wants to show off Sofia. Meanwhile, Pete needs a name for the new Last Place Trophy and everyone learns the history of the Shiva blast.
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#18 - The Gymnast
Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 6
George and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on something if he stops dating a Romanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and Kramer find out about one of George's bathroom habits. Kramer must pass a kidney stone. The mother of George's girlfriend sees him eat something out of a trash bin, later cleaning a windshield & one of his bathroom habits. Elaine's boss becomes obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting, so he sends her to represent him in a huge merger deal.
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#19 - The Sukkah
The League - Season 3 - Episode 2
Everyone is disappointed with their draft, but no one trusts each other enough to trade. Jenny goes back to work as a realtor. Ruxin tries to get Baby Geoffrey into a Jewish pre-school.
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#20 - The Lockout
The League - Season 3 - Episode 1
The terrible reign of Ruxin as League Champion continues while the guys devise a grand plan with Rafi and Dirty Randy for Andre's final Sacko punishment.
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#21 - The Bi-Sexual
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 7
Larry competes with Rosie O’Donnell for the same woman, explores the nuances of Japanese bows, and refuses lunch with an LA acquaintance.
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#22 - The Guest Bong
The League - Season 3 - Episode 11
Pete's new girlfriend wants to help him with his line up. Kevin's past at the DA's office has him running scared. Ruxin runs afoul of his company's email policies, and auto-correct gets everybody in trouble.
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#23 - The Yank Banker
The League - Season 7 - Episode 9
Pete isn't sure if he wants to commit to Libby. Taco embraces his day job in the banking world. Andre's patient is a college crush.
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#24 - The Puerto Rican Day
Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 20
The gang tries to get back into town after leaving the Mets game early in the 8th inning, the Mets are down 9 - 0. On the highway they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. George comments on a new movie he saw about the Hindenburg disaster and the clever comment he made during a quiet moment after the explosion. As they approach 5th Avenue traffic slows down and music can be heard, they realize they have forgotten about the Puerto Rican day parade. Elaine worries about getting home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend wind down. Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way over to the right. They almost make it over until they reencounter the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate transportation. George bails out of the car when he spots a theater screening the Hindenburg movie; he decides he wants to repeat his glory. Elaine decides the cab she hired isn't working, so she bails out of the cab, only to have it start moving again and again. George's attempt to be funny at the movie is undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser pointers. Kramer suggests that he and Jerry abandon his car. The laser pointer guy (a lousy prop comic) gets all the laughs as George's line bombs and he is humiliated. Kramer cuts a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns to the car with the red dot of a laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body. Jerry rescinds his apology wave just as he is about to pull in the alley; Elaine arrives back at the same spot in her cab. Jerry's apartment is seen, but no one is home. Elaine seeks an alternate way home. Kramer seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over to the parade route and looks for a way across. She leads a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing stand ala The Poseidon Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist, to get access to a bat
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#25 - The Voice
Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 2
George's employer wants to get rid of him, since they now know he isn't really handicapped and they don't like him. He has a one-year contract with Play Now that he will make sure they honor by him showing up for work every day. Jerry and George mock the sounds the Jerry's girlfriend Claire's stomach makes during the night. Jerry envisions the belly button as the mouth and the sound the stomach makes its voice. Because of the "bump into" Jerry tells Elaine that she is destined to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she bets him $50 that she won't. The next day Jerry discovers that Elaine didn't go home last night, he accuses her of seeing Puddy. She says the sex they had was an isolated incident. Jerry agrees but the dinner they also had was more of a commitment, he demands that she pay up. Kramer is tired of seeing all his ideas implemented, because all the little day to day incidental things keeps getting in his way and keeping him realizing his ideas. He gets an intern from NYU to help him out with Kramerica Industries; the corporation he had previously setup to develop some of his ideas. With this help he'll be freed from the day-to-day activities and be able to develop his ideas, such as the oil tanker bladder. Meanwhile, George is fighting the siege mentality that he is encountering at work and Elaine just can't get Puddy off her mind. No matter what the obstacle, George endeavors to occupy his office. Jerry tells Claire about the voice and she leaves him. The university takes Kramer's intern away from him. Claire says they can get back together if he won't do the voice ever again, he decides the voice is worth it. Unfortunately, everyone is tired off the voice. Elaine pays ups and they decided on a double or nothing bet. The intern comes back on his own because he believes in Kramerica. Play Now tries to negotiate with George, but he won't give in. Later, he offers his office and one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer to test his oil bladder
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#26 - The Calzone
Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 20
George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out.
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#27 - The 8 Defensive Points of Hanukkah
The League - Season 5 - Episode 13
The Shiva and The Ruxin are on the line. Andre confronts the one plastic surgeon in Chicago. Rafi tries to collect a debt from Ruxin's sister Rebecca. TacoCorp launches The Eskimo Brothers Database.
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#28 - The Doodle
Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 20
Jerry is disgusted when he finds out he was eating pecans that were just in his girlfriend's mouth. George finds a doodle that his girlfriend drew of him. Kramer is eating some tasty peaches that come in season for two weeks every year. Fleas force Jerry and his visiting parents out his apartment. Elaine has an interview with a publisher that has suite of rooms at a fancy hotel and that is where Jerry parents get to stay. Jerry stays with his girlfriend. Elaine must go into Jerry's fumigated apartment to get an unpublished manuscript that she is supposed to read for her interview and she can't find it, but Kramer read it in Jerry's apartment and the gas causes him to lose his sense of taste. George finds out that his girlfriend really doesn't care what he looks like. Jerry figures out that Newman gave him the fleas. Meanwhile, Jerry's parents, Uncle Leo and Nana live high on the hog at the hotel.
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#29 - Kegel the Elf
The League - Season 2 - Episode 12
It's Christmas and more importantly it's the playoffs, so tension runs high. While Ruxin's revenge gift to Kevin goes terribly awry, Ellie suddenly acting up at school causes Jenny to worry that all this attention to fantasy football is making her a bad mom. Meanwhile Taco's eggs turn one year old.
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#30 - The Bachelor Draft
The League - Season 5 - Episode 1
The League travels to Los Angeles for Andre and Trixie's destination wedding. Ruxin refuses to do his Sacko punishments and Shiva Champion Ted has a few surprises for everyone at the draft, including JJ Watt.
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#31 - Yobogoya!
The League - Season 3 - Episode 6
Jenny jeopardizes Ruxin's chance to work on a big case with his boss, Mr. Hudabega. Taco competes in a jingle contest for a disgusting fast food restaurant. Pete holds a grudge against a traffic cop.
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#32 - The Blind Spot
The League - Season 7 - Episode 3
Football is back and everyone fights over where to watch the games. Ruxin has his house to himself, sort of. Taco launches EBDBPrime.
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#33 - The White Knuckler
The League - Season 2 - Episode 3
Andre brings in a new partner to expand his medical practice. Ruxin uses a sick kid to meet NFL star Josh Cribbs and Pete deals with the complications of dating Kevin's ex-girlfriend.
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#34 - Vegas Draft
The League - Season 2 - Episode 1
Andre plans an extravagant trip to Vegas for the league's 2010 fantasy draft, but the group credits Pete to mess with Andre. The gang must choose between Jenny and Ruxin's creepy brother-in-law, Raffi, when a spot on the league opens up during the trip.
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#35 - The Bounce Test
The League - Season 1 - Episode 2
Pete's split with Meegan intrudes upon Ruxin's marriage, as Sofia is neglecting him sexually in order to spend her time helping Meegan deal with the break-up. Meanwhile, Jenny reveals to Sofia the sexual secrets that ensure that Kevin will never leave her.
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#36 - The Strike
Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 10
George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number. George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing. Jerry decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk's, something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the sabotage he committed; the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly. Kruger gives George a chec
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#37 - The Secret Code
Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 7
George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a life or death situation.
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#38 - The Summer of George
Seinfeld - Season 8 - Episode 22
George discovers he has a severance package from the Yankees that should last him about 3 months and he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Jerry is going to the Tony Awards and so is Kramer; whereas Jerry has a real seat for the awards, Kramer has a job as a seat filler. Elaine critiques a co-worker who walks with no arm movements and is accused of being "catty." Jerry's picks up his date, only to find out that she has a man living with her. Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical in which Raquel Welch is the star. Elaine tries to work things out with her co-worker, to no avail. Kramer uses his Tony as a ticket into a place he really shouldn't be, Sardi's, where the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. Jerry goes on a date and needs George to handle the invitations for Lanette's party. He is not to skimp, this time. Kramer does his duty and pays a price. A mad Raquel walking down the street gets into a cat fight with a woman who she thinks is making fun of her, Elaine. George gets distracted and slips on an invitation. Twenty-two episodes later the gang is back where they were a year ago, only this time George is the one in a hospital bed.
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#39 - The Butter Shave
Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 1
Not fully recovered from "The Summer of George," George is using a cane to get around. Jerry might have another shot at NBC, through an appearance on a NBC Showcase that might lead to another pilot. He is also annoyed that lame comic Kenny Bania's act is working, only because he is following on Jerry's coattails, a time-slot hit. Bania scores with big laughs and also gets one of Jerry's ex-girlfriends. George gets a job interview. Elaine is on vacation for a month in Europe with David Puddy. If he's lucky he won't "come back in a body bag." Kramer finds butter is a better protection for his skin after shaving. George is hired for the job because of his use of the cane. They think he is handicapped and of course he takes full advantage of the situation. Kramer's skin feels so good with butter; he takes to spreading it all over his body. Unfortunately he lies out in the sun where he begins to cook. It's a long flight back for Elaine and Puddy, who break up and get back together, only to break up again. Newman, reading the cannibalism themed story Alive!, finds the smell of a cooked Kramer appealing. Jerry is informed that Bania is going to follow him on the NBC showcase. George sprains his good leg and Jerry discovers that George is a closet Bania fan. Kramer tries to keep his skin moist but the baked in smell of cooked meat is too much for Newman. George manages to keep up his bluff until he tries to take on some old-timers. Jerry plans to sabotage his own act, surmising that Kenny's act will also bomb, but Kenny gets the last laugh.
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#40 - The Label Maker
Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 12
Elaine and Jerry are suspicious of a friend's gift, when a gift Elaine gave him, a label maker, is given to Jerry in return for some Superbowl tickets Jerry has but can't use because "The Drake" is getting married on Superbowl Sunday and he is in the wedding party. George convinces his girlfriend to get her male roommate to move out, that he soon regrets. Kramer takes playing a game of Risk against Newman seriously. The Superbowl tickets pass through several hands and Jerry sees the game with his worst nightmare.
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#41 - The Seven
Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 13
Elaine sees a girl's bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day and wants the bike. George is angry when Susan's cousin chooses to name her baby with the name he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another name. Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's kitchen. Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out.
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#42 - The Von Nowzick Wedding
The League - Season 5 - Episode 2
The wedding weekend continues but what happened at the draft comes back to haunt everyone. Ruxin wrestles J.J. Watt for control of his fantasy team.
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#43 - 12.12.12
The League - Season 4 - Episode 11
Andre starts dating his interior decorator and discovers that the buyer of his old loft is Deion Sanders. Rafi and Dirty Randy prepare for the end of the world.
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#44 - The Funeral
The League - Season 3 - Episode 13
The race is on for the Shiva and the Sacko. Taco teams up with Chicago Bears' Running Back Matt Forte, and Ruxin is unable to manage his own team for the big game, leaving League to figure out who will run it for him.
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#45 - Chalupa vs. the Cutlet
The League - Season 5 - Episode 3
Kevin and Jenny discover that Jay and Kristen Cutler's kid is attending the same preschool. Pete tries to cheer up Andre with a little help from Snoop Dogg. Taco gives away control of his team.
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#46 - St. Pete
The League - Season 3 - Episode 12
Kevin and Jenny make a bold bet on the play-offs. Taco enlists Ruxin to get more involved with Taco Corp, and Pete has devilish plan to send Ruxin to the Sacko.
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#47 - Ol' Smoke Crotch
The League - Season 3 - Episode 4
Kevin struggles with getting older. Ruxin is so desperate to get rid of his au pair that he gets Rafi's help. Taco finds a market for Kevin and Jenny's wedding cocktail napkins and Pete learns a new sexual position, which he regrets.
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#48 - Ghost Monkey
The League - Season 2 - Episode 7
Kevin convinces everyone to come to the suburbs for Halloween. Meanwhile, Pete has given Ruxin the privilege of selecting his opponent's team for their upcoming match. Taco feels responsible for events relating to a petting-zoo monkey.
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#49 - Mr. McGibblets
The League - Season 1 - Episode 4
The guys join Pete on what was supposed to be his 5th-anniversary spa trip. Meanwhile, Kevin enlists Taco to scare his daughter off of her new toy, which Kevin hates.
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#50 - The Usual Bet
The League - Season 1 - Episode 5
Pete and Kevin get stuck at a terrible Christmas party instead of watching the games, while Ruxin and Taco go to Chinatown on a very special mission.
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