The BEST episodes written by Jeff Schaffer

Palestinian Chicken
star
8.29
1308 votes

#1 - Palestinian Chicken

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 3

A Palestinian chicken restaurant is incredibly popular with Larry and his friends despite its open hostility towards Jews and Israel. Meanwhile, Larry's approached to inform people that their habits are agitating by family members too scared to do so.

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Larry vs. Michael J. Fox
star
8.25
1036 votes

#2 - Larry vs. Michael J. Fox

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 10

Larry accuses his neighbor, Michael J. Fox of harassment; Jeff takes a bullet for Susie; Larry gives an inappropriate gift to Elizabeth's son.

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The Hero
star
8.20
1274 votes

#3 - The Hero

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 6

Larry plays the hero in the sky and underground; Jeff’s courtship of Ricky Gervais is sabotaged by a nosy waiter.

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Mister Softee
star
8.14
1148 votes

#4 - Mister Softee

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 9

An ice cream truck triggers a painful childhood memory for Larry.

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Thanksgiving
star
8.11
812 votes

#5 - Thanksgiving

The League - Season 3 - Episode 8

Ruxin gets an unexpected visit from his father, and Andre's sister is on the prowl at the gang's Thanksgiving dinner. Taco makes an edible investment. Kevin and Jenny have a problem with Ellie's class pet.

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The Shiva Bowl
star
8.06
1032 votes

#6 - The Shiva Bowl

The League - Season 1 - Episode 6

The guys try to hide the Shiva Trophy from their high school classmate - the actual Shiva. Taco gets a "real person job at a Volkswagen dealership.

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What Have I Done?
star
7.95
447 votes

#7 - What Have I Done?

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 11 - Episode 8

Larry does damage control to remain in Irma’s good graces while encouraging Leon to monetize his knack for husbandly counsel.

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The Safe House
star
7.95
1356 votes

#8 - The Safe House

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 2

Larry becomes an unlikely role model for battered women. Richard Lewis's relationship with a burlesque performer is put to the test. Leon survives a case of mistaken identity.

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The Chicken Roaster
star
7.94
1531 votes

#9 - The Chicken Roaster

Seinfeld - Season 8 - Episode 8

George reveals a strategy to guarantee a second date with women - leaving an object behind at their place. However, this strategy gets Elaine into trouble, when George leaves behind a sable hat she shouldn't have charged to the Peterman expense account. Meanwhile, the red neon sign of a new Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant beams directly into Kramer's apartment. Jerry and Kramer then switch apartments, and end up switching personalities as well.

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High School Reunion
star
7.93
912 votes

#10 - High School Reunion

The League - Season 2 - Episode 10

It's high-school reunion time, and Andre is looking forward to basking in his success while Ruxin wants to show off Sofia. Meanwhile, Pete needs a name for the new Last Place Trophy and everyone learns the history of the Shiva blast.

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Vow of Silence
star
7.93
1142 votes

#11 - Vow of Silence

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 5

Larry's evolving alibi to get out of a charity function results in unexpected travel plans. Meanwhile, Susie makes demands for the terminally ill family dog's last meal; and Larry points out personal flaws in the buffet line and in parking lots.

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The Divorce
star
7.92
1438 votes

#12 - The Divorce

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 1

Larry learns his lawyer isn't kosher, and rescinds a cookie order from the Girl Scout daughter of a beleaguered sports owner.

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The 8 Defensive Points of Hanukkah
star
7.89
762 votes

#13 - The 8 Defensive Points of Hanukkah

The League - Season 5 - Episode 13

The Shiva and The Ruxin are on the line. Andre confronts the one plastic surgeon in Chicago. Rafi tries to collect a debt from Ruxin's sister Rebecca. TacoCorp launches The Eskimo Brothers Database.

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The Guest Bong
star
7.88
798 votes

#14 - The Guest Bong

The League - Season 3 - Episode 11

Pete's new girlfriend wants to help him with his line up. Kevin's past at the DA's office has him running scared. Ruxin runs afoul of his company's email policies, and auto-correct gets everybody in trouble.

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The Lockout
star
7.87
914 votes

#15 - The Lockout

The League - Season 3 - Episode 1

The terrible reign of Ruxin as League Champion continues while the guys devise a grand plan with Rafi and Dirty Randy for Andre's final Sacko punishment.

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The Gymnast
star
7.87
1639 votes

#16 - The Gymnast

Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 6

George and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on something if he stops dating a Romanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and Kramer find out about one of George's bathroom habits. Kramer must pass a kidney stone. The mother of George's girlfriend sees him eat something out of a trash bin, later cleaning a windshield & one of his bathroom habits. Elaine's boss becomes obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting, so he sends her to represent him in a huge merger deal.

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The Watermelon
star
7.87
477 votes

#17 - The Watermelon

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 11 - Episode 4

After agreeing to take Susie’s new rabbi golfing, Larry then cashes in on her favor. Later, Larry’s appeal to Woody Harrelson’s animal rights activism comes with unexpected consequences.

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The Sukkah
star
7.83
850 votes

#18 - The Sukkah

The League - Season 3 - Episode 2

Everyone is disappointed with their draft, but no one trusts each other enough to trade. Jenny goes back to work as a realtor. Ruxin tries to get Baby Geoffrey into a Jewish pre-school.

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The Puerto Rican Day
star
7.83
1212 votes

#19 - The Puerto Rican Day

Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 20

The gang tries to get back into town after leaving the Mets game early in the 8th inning, the Mets are down 9 - 0. On the highway they run into trouble with a maroon Volkswagen Golf. George comments on a new movie he saw about the Hindenburg disaster and the clever comment he made during a quiet moment after the explosion. As they approach 5th Avenue traffic slows down and music can be heard, they realize they have forgotten about the Puerto Rican day parade. Elaine worries about getting home and seeing 60 Minutes as part of her weekend wind down. Kramer spots a way out if Jerry can worm his way over to the right. They almost make it over until they reencounter the maroon Golf. Elaine bails out of the car to find alternate transportation. George bails out of the car when he spots a theater screening the Hindenburg movie; he decides he wants to repeat his glory. Elaine decides the cab she hired isn't working, so she bails out of the cab, only to have it start moving again and again. George's attempt to be funny at the movie is undermined by a guy with one of those funny laser pointers. Kramer suggests that he and Jerry abandon his car. The laser pointer guy (a lousy prop comic) gets all the laughs as George's line bombs and he is humiliated. Kramer cuts a deal with the maroon Golf they are go to get access to the short cut when Jerry makes an apology wave. George returns to the car with the red dot of a laser pointer appearing all over parts of his body. Jerry rescinds his apology wave just as he is about to pull in the alley; Elaine arrives back at the same spot in her cab. Jerry's apartment is seen, but no one is home. Elaine seeks an alternate way home. Kramer seeks a bathroom. Elaine works her way over to the parade route and looks for a way across. She leads a group of people on an escape route underneath a reviewing stand ala The Poseidon Adventure. Kramer spots an apartment for sale and poses as H.E Pennypacker, a wealthy industrialist, to get access to a bat

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Kegel the Elf
star
7.81
895 votes

#20 - Kegel the Elf

The League - Season 2 - Episode 12

It's Christmas and more importantly it's the playoffs, so tension runs high. While Ruxin's revenge gift to Kevin goes terribly awry, Ellie suddenly acting up at school causes Jenny to worry that all this attention to fantasy football is making her a bad mom. Meanwhile Taco's eggs turn one year old.

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The Great Night of Shiva
star
7.80
574 votes

#21 - The Great Night of Shiva

The League - Season 7 - Episode 13

In the series finale, the fates of the Shiva, Sacko and Snip are decided and Ruxin makes a big decision that impacts his chances of winning and the league's survival.

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The Mormon Advantage
star
7.80
425 votes

#22 - The Mormon Advantage

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 11 - Episode 10

With the city council vote rapidly approaching, Larry gives some unsolicited marriage advice and hosts an event for an American hero.

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The Bachelor Draft
star
7.79
838 votes

#23 - The Bachelor Draft

The League - Season 5 - Episode 1

The League travels to Los Angeles for Andre and Trixie's destination wedding. Ruxin refuses to do his Sacko punishments and Shiva Champion Ted has a few surprises for everyone at the draft, including JJ Watt.

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The Smiley Face
star
7.79
1255 votes

#24 - The Smiley Face

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 4

Larry challenges the rules of dating and rethinks a decision regarding a new workplace neighbor. Meanwhile, Jeff invents an ill-advised excuse to get out of a dining engagement.

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The Bi-Sexual
star
7.78
1138 votes

#25 - The Bi-Sexual

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 8 - Episode 7

Larry competes with Rosie O’Donnell for the same woman, explores the nuances of Japanese bows, and refuses lunch with an LA acquaintance.

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IRASSHAIMASE!
star
7.77
442 votes

#26 - IRASSHAIMASE!

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 11 - Episode 5

While he and his date swap secrets, Larry runs afoul of the rules and regulations at a sushi restaurant. No good deed goes unpunished for Freddy Funkhouser.

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The Voice
star
7.77
1496 votes

#27 - The Voice

Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 2

George's employer wants to get rid of him, since they now know he isn't really handicapped and they don't like him. He has a one-year contract with Play Now that he will make sure they honor by him showing up for work every day. Jerry and George mock the sounds the Jerry's girlfriend Claire's stomach makes during the night. Jerry envisions the belly button as the mouth and the sound the stomach makes its voice. Because of the "bump into" Jerry tells Elaine that she is destined to backslide into her relationship with David Puddy, she bets him $50 that she won't. The next day Jerry discovers that Elaine didn't go home last night, he accuses her of seeing Puddy. She says the sex they had was an isolated incident. Jerry agrees but the dinner they also had was more of a commitment, he demands that she pay up. Kramer is tired of seeing all his ideas implemented, because all the little day to day incidental things keeps getting in his way and keeping him realizing his ideas. He gets an intern from NYU to help him out with Kramerica Industries; the corporation he had previously setup to develop some of his ideas. With this help he'll be freed from the day-to-day activities and be able to develop his ideas, such as the oil tanker bladder. Meanwhile, George is fighting the siege mentality that he is encountering at work and Elaine just can't get Puddy off her mind. No matter what the obstacle, George endeavors to occupy his office. Jerry tells Claire about the voice and she leaves him. The university takes Kramer's intern away from him. Claire says they can get back together if he won't do the voice ever again, he decides the voice is worth it. Unfortunately, everyone is tired off the voice. Elaine pays ups and they decided on a double or nothing bet. The intern comes back on his own because he believes in Kramerica. Play Now tries to negotiate with George, but he won't give in. Later, he offers his office and one of their rubber balls to allow Kramer to test his oil bladder

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Fish Stuck
star
7.77
303 votes

#28 - Fish Stuck

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 12 - Episode 5

After an incident at temple, Larry asks friends to vouch for his character – while also trying to help name a baby and worrying about a fish.

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Yobogoya!
star
7.76
762 votes

#29 - Yobogoya!

The League - Season 3 - Episode 6

Jenny jeopardizes Ruxin's chance to work on a big case with his boss, Mr. Hudabega. Taco competes in a jingle contest for a disgusting fast food restaurant. Pete holds a grudge against a traffic cop.

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The Mini Bar
star
7.76
460 votes

#30 - The Mini Bar

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 11 - Episode 3

In a last-ditch effort, Larry enlists Cheryl’s help with a project and, later, concocts a plan that could finally save his newest creative venture.

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12.12.12
star
7.76
747 votes

#31 - 12.12.12

The League - Season 4 - Episode 11

Andre starts dating his interior decorator and discovers that the buyer of his old loft is Deion Sanders. Rafi and Dirty Randy prepare for the end of the world.

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The Funeral
star
7.75
765 votes

#32 - The Funeral

The League - Season 3 - Episode 13

The race is on for the Shiva and the Sacko. Taco teams up with Chicago Bears' Running Back Matt Forte, and Ruxin is unable to manage his own team for the big game, leaving League to figure out who will run it for him.

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Vegas Draft
star
7.73
988 votes

#33 - Vegas Draft

The League - Season 2 - Episode 1

Andre plans an extravagant trip to Vegas for the league's 2010 fantasy draft, but the group credits Pete to mess with Andre. The gang must choose between Jenny and Ruxin's creepy brother-in-law, Raffi, when a spot on the league opens up during the trip.

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The Sacko Bowl
star
7.73
695 votes

#34 - The Sacko Bowl

The League - Season 2 - Episode 13

At season's end, Jenny and Ruxin are vying for the Shiva while Andre and Taco duel it out for the Sacko. Kevin learns to read lips by watching porn. Pete buys a Crown Vic and is mistaken for a cop.

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The Calzone
star
7.73
1412 votes

#35 - The Calzone

Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 20

George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out.

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The Von Nowzick Wedding
star
7.72
852 votes

#36 - The Von Nowzick Wedding

The League - Season 5 - Episode 2

The wedding weekend continues but what happened at the draft comes back to haunt everyone. Ruxin wrestles J.J. Watt for control of his fantasy team.

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The Doodle
star
7.72
1354 votes

#37 - The Doodle

Seinfeld - Season 6 - Episode 20

Jerry is disgusted when he finds out he was eating pecans that were just in his girlfriend's mouth. George finds a doodle that his girlfriend drew of him. Kramer is eating some tasty peaches that come in season for two weeks every year. Fleas force Jerry and his visiting parents out his apartment. Elaine has an interview with a publisher that has suite of rooms at a fancy hotel and that is where Jerry parents get to stay. Jerry stays with his girlfriend. Elaine must go into Jerry's fumigated apartment to get an unpublished manuscript that she is supposed to read for her interview and she can't find it, but Kramer read it in Jerry's apartment and the gas causes him to lose his sense of taste. George finds out that his girlfriend really doesn't care what he looks like. Jerry figures out that Newman gave him the fleas. Meanwhile, Jerry's parents, Uncle Leo and Nana live high on the hog at the hotel.

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St. Pete
star
7.72
821 votes

#38 - St. Pete

The League - Season 3 - Episode 12

Kevin and Jenny make a bold bet on the play-offs. Taco enlists Ruxin to get more involved with Taco Corp, and Pete has devilish plan to send Ruxin to the Sacko.

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Ol' Smoke Crotch
star
7.72
905 votes

#39 - Ol' Smoke Crotch

The League - Season 3 - Episode 4

Kevin struggles with getting older. Ruxin is so desperate to get rid of his au pair that he gets Rafi's help. Taco finds a market for Kevin and Jenny's wedding cocktail napkins and Pete learns a new sexual position, which he regrets.

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The Bounce Test
star
7.72
1285 votes

#40 - The Bounce Test

The League - Season 1 - Episode 2

Pete's split with Meegan intrudes upon Ruxin's marriage, as Sofia is neglecting him sexually in order to spend her time helping Meegan deal with the break-up. Meanwhile, Jenny reveals to Sofia the sexual secrets that ensure that Kevin will never leave her.

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The White Knuckler
star
7.71
1003 votes

#41 - The White Knuckler

The League - Season 2 - Episode 3

Andre brings in a new partner to expand his medical practice. Ruxin uses a sick kid to meet NFL star Josh Cribbs and Pete deals with the complications of dating Kevin's ex-girlfriend.

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Chalupa vs. the Cutlet
star
7.71
766 votes

#42 - Chalupa vs. the Cutlet

The League - Season 5 - Episode 3

Kevin and Jenny discover that Jay and Kristen Cutler's kid is attending the same preschool. Pete tries to cheer up Andre with a little help from Snoop Dogg. Taco gives away control of his team.

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The Five-Foot Fence
star
7.71
516 votes

#43 - The Five-Foot Fence

Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 11 - Episode 1

A discovery in Larry’s backyard threatens to derail his latest creative venture, while a clumsy mishap threatens the future of his latest romance. Albert Brooks hosts an unprecedented event, and Leon makes arrangements for an upcoming trip.

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Mr. McGibblets
star
7.70
1103 votes

#44 - Mr. McGibblets

The League - Season 1 - Episode 4

The guys join Pete on what was supposed to be his 5th-anniversary spa trip. Meanwhile, Kevin enlists Taco to scare his daughter off of her new toy, which Kevin hates.

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EBDBBnB
star
7.70
674 votes

#45 - EBDBBnB

The League - Season 6 - Episode 11

Taco and Andre both want the guys to watch football at their new establishments. Pete tries to hide something he has in common with Andre. Ruxin is disgusted by his co-worker's hygiene habits.

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The Strike
star
7.69
1548 votes

#46 - The Strike

Seinfeld - Season 9 - Episode 10

George, Elaine and Jerry attend Tim Whatley's Hanukkah party. Jerry meets an attractive woman with whom he sets up a date. Elaine meets a man in a bad denim vest and gives him her fake number. George is offended by Whatley's gift to him, a donation in his name to a charity. George is also reminded of the Festivus holiday his father created many years ago. Elaine's quest to become a submarine captain and get her free sub sandwich is ruined when she realizes she used her punch card at the party to give her fake number to the denim vested guy. Kramer gets word he can return to his job at the bagel place, it seems he has been on strike for the past 12 years. Elaine goes to the place, an off-track betting parlor, that her fake number reaches. She wanted to give them her real number, so when the denim vest guy calls, she can connect with him. The men at the parlor are interested in connecting with her, so she gives the number for the bagel shop where Kramer is working. Jerry meets his date, Gwen, at a restaurant, but it turns out she is two-faced. Sometimes Gwen looks great, other times she's plain; it all depends on the viewer's angle and the lighting. George decides to use the Whatley approach when giving out Christmas gifts at Krugers; however, he makes up his own charity called the "Human Fund." Kramer is intrigued by the concept of the Festivus holiday and contacts Frank, who becomes excited at the prospect of rekindling "Festivus for the rest-of-us." Kramer asks to get the 23rd of December off, when he can't get it, he resumes the strike; meanwhile Elaine waits at the bagel place for a phone call from the denim vest guy. The look of Jerry's girlfriend keeps changing. Jerry decides that Gwen looks best in the back booth at Monk's, something she grows to dislike. George passes out his gifts at Krugers and reaps great rewards. Kramer warns Elaine about the sabotage he committed; the bagel place becomes very steamy and makes Elaine look ugly. Kruger gives George a chec

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The Kluneberg
star
7.69
902 votes

#47 - The Kluneberg

The League - Season 2 - Episode 4

Jenny and the guys catch up with their old friend Russell, and the guys all try to get Rafi out of the league by pretending that it's being ended. Meanwhile, Taco finds a toilet seat in a dumpster, and Andre buys an "interesting" expensive painting.

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The Secret Code
star
7.68
1483 votes

#48 - The Secret Code

Seinfeld - Season 7 - Episode 7

George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a life or death situation.

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The Summer of George
star
7.67
1430 votes

#49 - The Summer of George

Seinfeld - Season 8 - Episode 22

George discovers he has a severance package from the Yankees that should last him about 3 months and he decides that he is going to take the summer off. Jerry is going to the Tony Awards and so is Kramer; whereas Jerry has a real seat for the awards, Kramer has a job as a seat filler. Elaine critiques a co-worker who walks with no arm movements and is accused of being "catty." Jerry's picks up his date, only to find out that she has a man living with her. Kramer gets a Tony Award for a musical in which Raquel Welch is the star. Elaine tries to work things out with her co-worker, to no avail. Kramer uses his Tony as a ticket into a place he really shouldn't be, Sardi's, where the producers of "Scarsdale Surprise" have a proposition for him. Jerry's date decides to commit to him. Elaine's complaints to men about her co-worker only seem to pique their interest in the possibility of a cat fight. Jerry's girlfriend begins to wear him out; she is always on the go. George suggests that perhaps they team up to handle Lanette. To keep his Tony award, Kramer must fire the non-arm swinging Raquel Welch from the production. Jerry goes on a date and needs George to handle the invitations for Lanette's party. He is not to skimp, this time. Kramer does his duty and pays a price. A mad Raquel walking down the street gets into a cat fight with a woman who she thinks is making fun of her, Elaine. George gets distracted and slips on an invitation. Twenty-two episodes later the gang is back where they were a year ago, only this time George is the one in a hospital bed.

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Tefl-Andre
star
7.66
709 votes

#50 - Tefl-Andre

The League - Season 6 - Episode 2

Jay Glazer does a big favor for Andre. Kevin is diagnosed with Low T. Ruxin meddles with Baby Geoffrey's Little League team.

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